Firsts: Book One’s

by Moore, Portia

  “She sounds amazing, just like you,” he says with a sheepish smile.

  “You’re so corny,” I tease him. He takes my hand to his mouth and bites it. I fake an ouch and he gives me a wonderfully sarcastic smile before his expression turns serious again.

  “If Melissa took the role of your mom how did that leave you guys?”

  “It sort of was weird. My mom was this perfect little housewife before things went south. She made us lunches, read to us, tucked us in…everything that a mom is supposed to do. She was my best friend. But when my dad left…he took a big piece of her heart with him and left us the crumbs. She wasn’t herself. She became a new person: focused, determined. She had to be since she had two girls to raise by herself. I get that, but it was jarring. I didn’t understand it then and I definitely made things harder than it had to be for her but she never holds it against me. Being around her though is hard sometimes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m terrified of becoming her…” I swallow hard and am horrified when I feel tears attempting to spring to my eyes, but that happens when you feel disgusted by your fear. I hear all the time how girls say they don’t want to turn into their mothers and that’s not exactly what I mean. My mom is a great woman. It’s more of going through what she did, experiencing that much pain and having to be transformed from it. I shift in my seat.

  “Your dad. You never saw him again? He never visited at all?” he asks.

  “Nope, he cheated. They fought and he left, and that’s that,” I tell him simply sitting up in my seat. I grab a bag of chips I bought from a snack kiosk in the airport. He takes them from me and digs into them first and winks at me.

  We drop our stuff at an Airbnb a few blocks from Mel’s. It’s a cute two-bedroom apartment right in the center of downtown. We only plan on staying for one day since I’m scheduled to work tomorrow, and in case Alex gets booked for his bartending business that’s been gaining followers at a pretty fast rate since I revamped it. He went from 300 followers to 1,400 in less than a few weeks and I’m so excited for him. I see such great things for him and he deserves every last one of them.

  At the Airbnb after showering, quick shower sex that turned into longer sex, then getting back in the shower without the sex, we’re finally dressed. Alex looks even more handsome than the first day I saw him. He’s wearing a green and white button-up and khakis. I throw on a light blue and white wrap neck dress with bohemian floral print and take out the braids that have created waves through my hair. My mom likes when my hair is down and since I haven’t seen her in months I want to appease her.

  “Are you nervous?” he asks as we make our way up the street from our rental car to my mother’s door. She has a two-bedroom bungalow in Westchester, a West Chicago suburb, that she bought when I was twelve.

  “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” I ask him and he gives me a lovable grin.

  “Yeah, but you look more nervous than I am.”

  “You don’t look nervous at all,” I tell him, and he doesn’t. He’s just my beautifully handsome white knight. He squeezes my hand and kisses it before we head up the steps. I can hear my mom’s favorite singer, Billie Holiday, crooning through the window. We’re greeted by Melissa who has her hair in a loose bun, wearing a black short-sleeved scoop neck dress.

  “You’re late,” she says.

  “Oh it’s not as if I just got here from another state or anything,” I remind her before giving her a hug.

  “Glad to have you back Sis,” she says quietly in my ear and then her attention goes to Alex. Her eyes give him a quick sweep.

  “You must be Alex,” she says matter-of-factly.

  “That’s me.” He hands her a decorative case holding a bottle of wine.

  “You bring gifts. I like that,” she quips with a smile before heading into the house. It seems like forever since I’ve been here, but it looks brighter, and smaller than I remember, but it feels better. We head to the dining room where Melissa already has the table set and a bottle of wine chilling.

  “I’ll get Mom,” she says before disappearing into the kitchen.

  “Looking at your sister is like looking at you in an alternate universe,” he whispers playfully in my ear. I watch him as he looks around the room, spotting the fireplace with pictures of Melissa and me through the years.

  “Wasn’t I adorable?” I say giving him a hug from behind.

  “You looked like a little hell-raiser,” he teases.

  “And most of the time she was,” my mom says with a sheepish smile as she walks in.

  “Hi Mom.” I go over and give her a hug. Her light brown hair is only slightly graying around the edges, her brown eyes seem brighter, and her body is still as slender as it always was, even after having two kids.

  “It’s so good to see you my Lovely,” she says giving me a kiss on the cheek before letting me go. I always hated that nickname because I felt like it was better suited for Melissa—she was constantly put together, perfect, more of a lovely girl. I used to view it as an insult when I was younger.

  “And you’re Alex?” my mom asks, as if I might have ditched him on the way here and pulled someone off the street to replace him.

  “It’s nice to meet you Ms. Anderson.” He gives her that wonderful smile that stopped me mid-sentence when we first met.

  “Thank you for getting my little girl here safely,” she says and looks almost as taken with him as I first was.

  “Your little girl was more than capable of getting herself here,” I interject playfully.

  “She’s right, I’m just a big useless lump of man meat,” he jokes and her and Melissa, who joins us, laugh at that.

  “How is New York sweetheart?” Mom asks. “It looks like it’s treating you well.” I notice she glances at Alex as she says it.

  “It’s turning out a lot better than I thought,” I reply, unable to suppress a smile.

  “And I suspect you have something to do with that?” she asks Alex and Melissa starts to pour us all wine after we sit down.

  “I hope so,” he says. Our eyes meet and my face burns up.

  “How did you guys meet?” Melissa asks.

  I tell how we initially met in Miami, then about how my battery was dying and Alex claimed to be my fairy godmother, leaving out the part where I called him a shitty one, and also explain how he saved me that night.

  “Well she didn’t need to be saved but I convinced her to let me pretend I was,” he adds and I beam at him. I notice Melissa looking at me curiously and it almost makes me nervous. Throughout dinner she looks at us like a science project.

  “That was amazing,” Alex compliments her on the family-style four-course Italian meal she prepared.

  “And that’s coming from a New Yorker. You know their palates are the most discriminating.” I give Mel a wink and she grins. Alex pulls me into a playful hug.

  “How long have you lived in New York Alex?” my mother asks him. He tells her and it leads into his jobs and the business he’s trying to start. He asks thoughtful questions about theirs and seems genuinely interested in their responses. He’s charming, smart, and sweet. By the end of dinner I think even Mel might be a bit smitten.

  “So are you tethered there or you open to exploring other parts of the Midwest?” my mom asks and I frown at her.

  “You know, I try to let things just flow, so who knows what the future holds?”

  Before I can untangle that in my brain the doorbell rings.

  “That should be Greg, he just got off work,” Melissa says, her eyes lighting up.

  My sister isn’t like me in that she doesn’t wear her emotions on her sleeve. Sometimes I wonder if she even has them, but when she’s around Greg I see glimpses of the fact that she can be a lovelorn girl like the rest of our species. My mom loves Greg and stands to go and greet him with Mel at the door. I haven’t seen Greg since the dinner from hell and I’m reminded of that when he comes in and gives me a tight smile.

  “B
abe this is Alex, Madison’s…boyfriend,” she says at the last minute, not entirely sure how to introduce him. So much has happened between Alex and me since my last conversation but when I manage to not die of embarrassment Alex squeezes my hand and gives me a sexy smile.

  “Interesting,” Greg mutters looking between the two of us unenthused. Alex looks at me as if asking What’s his problem? I just shake my head, hinting we’ll talk later.

  “Nice to meet you,” he says and him and Alex shake hands, but the energy in the room has completely changed from easy and smooth to tense and almost awkward.

  “Here babe, have some wine,” Melissa says as she puts a glass in front of him and begins to pour. I wonder if that’ll make things better or a whole lot worse.

  “Greg just got back from the Bulls game. Are you into sports Alex?” Melissa asks.

  “I’m a huge basketball fan,” Alex tells her. Greg shows a mild bit of enthusiasm, and thankfully he and Alex fall into an easy conversation about the Knicks and Bulls game, and the tension that was wrapped around me starts to lessen. My mom starts to clear the table and I get up and help, following her and Mel into the kitchen.

  “So, what do you have to say Mel?” I ask as we close the door separating the kitchen from the hall.

  “I like him,” my mom says before Mel can answer. I look over at her curiously and see her wearing a small smile. I’m surprised. My mom met more than a few of my boyfriends when I dated in high school. She also met Ryan and even though she said he seemed nice, she’s never said that she liked anyone I introduced to her.

  “More importantly I like him for you,” she adds. Melissa looks at her just as surprised as I am. I don’t even think she’s said that about Greg.

  “You just met him, Mom,” Melissa points out, only a sliver of jealousy in her tone.

  “I know, but it’s a feelings that mothers get and your sister, as you know, has been running from love since your dad left.”

  This causes both of our mouths to drop open. After Dad left my mother never talked about him. She never talked about relationships, she never brought another man around, and we pretended as if he didn’t exist, like what happened never did.

  “I know that’s partly my fault and I’ve watched you be with men who you didn’t have to worry about being hurt by, that you ended up hurting because I made love seem scary, like a deadly disease.”

  I swallow hard and feel a tear come to my eye.

  “I’m sorry for that, I’m so sorry for that.” Our eyes lock and the tear escapes.

  “It wasn’t your fault,” I tell her and stop when my voice cracks as tears start to burn my throat. It wasn’t my mom’s fault that my dad left, that she was brokenhearted.

  “You stayed. You didn’t give up and I never appreciated it like I should have.” We’re both crying now, silent tears of the past releasing. I was so trying to forget about my dad leaving, pretending it didn’t happen, that I put all the blame on her. It wasn’t fair. I look over and see even stone-faced Melissa’s eyes glistening.

  “I like him for you too Mads. The way you look at him. I’ve never seen that from you. Don’t screw it up,” she says simply. Before I can respond there’s a crash in the other room. We all rush through the door and see Greg collapsed backwards on his chair holding his jaw. Alex is standing over him, his face red, all his features hardened. He’s furious and my blood goes cold. Melissa rushes over to Greg.

  “What happened?” I ask confused.

  “I was giving him some friendly advice. I told him what a bloodsucking slut you were and to get out while he could.” He chuckles. I have to jump in front of Alex to stop him from charging over to him.

  “What the hell is wrong with you!” Melissa snaps at him.

  “She is, you’ve even said as much,” he counters, pushing himself up. I glance at Melissa who looks at me, her large green eyes full of guilt.

  “I never used those words,” she tells me shaking her head. My body is hot all over.

  “Mom, we’re going to go okay,” I say demanding my voice not to wobble. My mom nods.

  “Madison you know…” Mel starts looking between Greg and me.

  “Don’t!” I interject sharply. Melissa’s always called me out on my shit. I know she didn’t agree with how I did things but to hear them come out of Greg’s mouth and to think about the terrible things she’s probably said about me, I can’t deal with it right now, not when tonight was going so great. I head over to my mom and give her a warm hug. “I love you Mom.” She gives me a sad look.

  “I love you too, Lovely,” she says.

  “Don’t leave, we need to talk about this,” I hear Melissa call out but I’m almost out of the house. Once we reach the sidewalk I notice Alex massaging his fist.

  “I’m sorry about that in there,” he apologizes once we reach the car.

  “He was my ex’s best friend and he’s still angry with me.”

  “He can be angry with you all he wants but he was in your mom’s fucking house talking trash about her daughter. I don’t know what the hell kind of vibe he got to think he could say that about you to me, but it wasn’t the smartest thing.” His nostrils are flaring, his tone deep, and I can’t ignore how sexy he looks like this.

  “He thought you were my boyfriend, that’s what set him off I think,” I tell him with a shrug.

  “Aren’t I your boyfriend?” he asks, his features brightening and a sexy grin plastered on his face.

  “I don’t know, you haven’t asked for me to be your girlfriend,” I say realizing that we sound like two fifth graders. He steps towards me and presses my body against the car.

  “I didn’t ask to sit you on my face and that worked out pretty good,” he says with a wicked smile.

  I bite my lip and giggle.

  “I guess you’re right. We’ll just let things flow then huh?”

  “Let’s get back so I can show you how good I flow,” he promises with a suggestive smile that makes me throb.

  I’ve already found that out.

  Sixteen

  I wake up and Alex is standing naked, wearing literally nothing but a smile, with a cupcake and a sparkling candle in it that says “6” covering one of my favorite pieces of him. I’ve never seen a man so comfortable in his own skin. He said he was used to walking around naked and until we slept together, he had to constantly remind himself that doing it might constitute sexual harassment. I have to say, his body is made to be viewed though.

  “Six?” I say groggily.

  “Can you hurry up and blow this out, it’s sort of close to the goods,” he teases me.

  “Blow which?” I say mischievously and bite my lip before doing as he asks…on the cupcake, for now. I stick my finger in the frosting…my favorite, Vanilla buttercream.

  “What is this for?” I ask as he sits next to me on the bed.

  “You’ve been in New York for six months,” he says kissing my neck. It’s crazy it’s been that long. When I first got here it was supposed to be for a week or two, three max, but as Alex said, it just flowed in a different way. I’m not serving anymore but have gotten a full book of clients through the next two months from all over.

  Alex’s bartending business has taken off and with his referrals going through the roof it’s trickled over to me—the genius he credits to his social media rise. Alex now has over 36,000 followers and they’re growing daily. He says it’s due to me, which I guess is partly true but I credit his face for the fast rise and his talent for sustaining it. If I hadn’t revamped it, it wouldn’t have caught the attention of Hannah Bailey, a New York socialite who hired him for her birthday party. That resulted in Alex not just going viral but also super crazy booked. He’s done two high-profile celebrity events where he’s trained and taken staff with him, which include Casey and a few other servers we worked with. Parker’s even hired him for her wedding.

  “Don’t remind me,” I say with a fake grimace.

  “Get up princess. We got a drive today,” h
e reminds me. Alley rubs up against his leg. Today we meet Alex’s parents. I’m both excited and nervous. I’ve met parents before, but these are the first set that I really want to like me. I’m also interested in meeting the specimens that created the man who has stolen my heart and keeps it in his safe…even though we haven’t said I love you’s yet. I’ve wanted to say it so many times but it still is so foreign and scary to me. This has all been like a dream, and saying it will make it too real. I’m not sure if I’m ready to wake up yet.

  I stare at myself in the mirror. I decide to go with a white sweater and black jeans. It’s January and freezing outside.

  “How do I look?” I ask, but from his smile in the mirror I already know what he’s going to say, which doesn’t help. Alex always tells me I look beautiful, but I don’t know if I’m impress-the-parents beautiful.

  “My parents aren’t hard to please babe. They like who I like,” he tells me, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek and looking towards the door. A subtle way to tell me to hurry the hell up.

  “Okay, okay,” I tell him and give him the go-ahead to get his coat and gloves on. On our ride to his parents’ house, who live in an upper middle-class neighborhood in Jersey, I see a text from Melissa.

  Hey hope your visit with the ‘rents goes fantastic.

  I text her back a GIF that shows I’m nervous.

  After the dinner fiasco with Greg things were tense. I was pissed and more so hurt to say the least, but I love my sister and know she wouldn’t say anything to deliberately hurt me. After we talked, she admitted to saying some things she shouldn’t have said about me to Greg but it was more to commiserate with him after how hurt Ryan was when I left. I figured as much but in the moment, especially in front of Alex, the things she said even to my face stung and was embarrassing. She also put Greg on ice until he apologized to me and Alex—albeit over the phone and not enthusiastically—but we took it for her sake and the punch in the face Alex gave him I’m sure will keep him from saying anything like that ever again. And it does show he’s loyal to those he cares about. I want a trait in a man like that for Mel.