“Whatever you decide tonight, I’ll respect it. I know this isn’t easy for you.” Jax pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth, and I moved an inch to right, aligning my mouth with his in a tender kiss.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE:
Loophole
THE MUSIC ENDED, AND I RELEASED Jax. His expression was a mixture of sadness, shock, and desperation—I could feel everything he did, and I wanted to comfort him, because not knowing what I would ultimately decide couldn’t be easy for him, either. I wished I could just tell him, but I still didn’t know.
Another slower song started, and Trent approached. “My turn?” he asked, his gaze darting between me and Jax.
Jax gave me a small smile, nodded, then wandered off. A tiny piece of my heart went with him. The mark on my neck burned, and I took a deep breath, expelling it slowly. It was just a physical reaction. Nothing more.
Trent took my hand and tugged me toward him, wrapping his arms around my back and holding me close. I breathed in the familiar scent of him—he reminded me of home, of that place in my heart where I was the safest and happiest. I draped my arms over his shoulders and laced my fingers at the nape of his neck.
He pulled me closer, our bodies melding together in perfect unison. Trent buried his face against my neck like he’d done so many times before, and for the first time all night, I battled the urge to cry.
Why did he have to break up with me and ruin everything? Our relationship wasn’t perfect by any means, but it had been ours, and he’d ended it like it hadn’t mattered.
Of course, he wouldn’t have had to do that if I hadn’t messed everything up by letting Jax bite me. I was such an idiot. But if I hadn’t let Jax bite me, he’d be dead right now, so it was hard to feel remorse for saving his life. I only wished there hadn’t been such steep consequences.
“If you decide you need to be with Jax—” Trent began.
“Stop,” I said, my voice trembling.
“No, I need you to hear this.” He eased back so we were face to face. “If you pick him tonight, I want you to know that my feelings for you will never change. I will always love you. No matter what.”
Because I’m his soulmate. He couldn’t not love me, and that meant he couldn’t ever love anyone else, either. For him, it was me or no one. Tears pooled in my eyes, and I blinked rapidly against them so they wouldn’t streak down my face and ruin my makeup. But a few escaped.
Trent wiped them away with his thumbs, his palms warm against my cheeks. Could I really live without him? Without his touch, his sweet words, his constant tenderness? Before I could respond, the song ended. He released me, and I inhaled deeply.
“Excuse me.” I rushed toward Whitney, grabbed her elbow, and dragged her into the bathroom with me.
“Chloe, what’s wrong?” she asked as soon as the door was closed.
Thankfully, the bathroom was empty. I explained everything to her again—my conflicted feelings for Trent and Jax, Trent’s insistence that I explore whatever was happening with Jax, and how tonight was the deadline for making a final decision.
“And I have no idea what I’m going to do,” I said, my shoulders sagging. “If I pick Trent, I’ll basically have to fight every single day against this stupid bond, and who knows if he’ll ever trust me.” I paced in front of the sinks. “And if I pick Jax, I won’t go crazy because of the bond, but I’m not sure I love him. I mean, how do I know my feelings for him are real and not a result of the eternal bond?”
“Okay, calm down.” Whitney gave me a hug. “Loving a vampire isn’t easy, just like it’s not easy for us to love a human, but here we are. No matter who you pick, it’s going to be hard. You need to decide which battle you want to fight—the bond, with Trent by your side. Or your own hesitations, with Jax.”
I sighed and leaned against the wall, arms crossed. If only it were that easy.
“Look, after the dance, you can take my car and do what you need to do. Just get in and drive and see where you end up. Your subconscious will give you the answer.” She put her keys in my hand and closed my fingers around them.
“Thanks.” I smiled gratefully.
“And no matter what you decide, you and I are still friends, got it?”
I laughed. “Got it. Thanks, Whitney.”
“Any time. Now, let’s get back out there.”
When we got back to the table, Ellie was sitting in Nick’s lap. Abby was sitting next to Isach, and there was no sign of Wyatt. Trent and Jax were chatting with Luke and Gina. Another song played, and both Trent and Jax glanced up at me expectantly. My stomach knotted.
Isach stood and pointed at Trent and Jax. “You two have been stealing my date all night. It’s my turn.” He held his hand out to me. “Chloe?”
I eagerly took his hand and let him lead me onto the dance floor. My feet ached, but I didn’t want to sit at the table with Trent and Jax staring at me, waiting for an answer. Once the dance was over, I’d do what I needed to be done. Until then, I was going to have fun.
“So, I saw you talking to Abby,” I said.
His smile was so big I worried he might split his face. “We’re going to hang out next weekend.”
“What?” I stopped dancing and glared at him.
“Relax. She’s helping me with that stupid English paper we have to write. And we’re meeting at the library. She’ll be safe. I promise.”
I slowly began to move again, but my nerves were frayed. “You better not hurt her,” I warned.
“I won’t. You have my word.”
So far, he’d kept his word about not harming me, which meant maybe I could trust him about this, too. He guided me out of the way of a couple who weren’t paying attention to anything but one another’s lips. They really needed to get a room.
“Can I ask you something?” My throat was suddenly dry and scratchy. “Trent swore I wouldn’t break the curse, and I’ve been honoring the promise he made. I’m not going back on that, but… what if I wanted to?”
Isach was silent for too long, and I worried I’d crossed the line. What if he snapped and did something bad—like kill me right here and now?
“Do you want to?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I have to be honest. I don’t like not having that choice.”
Because if I had that choice, a future with Trent was possible. Because one way or another, I was going to find a way to break this bond. And once I did, I needed to know I was free to change and spend an eternity with Trent.
“No one in your coven knows about me except you,” I continued.
“That’s true.” He nodded. “Look.” He moved us off the dance floor and toward the side of the bleachers where it was a little quieter. “This stupid curse has been going on for decades, but it’s my family’s burden. Not mine. Honestly, I want no part of it.”
My eyes widened, and my heart began to thump harder.
“I do what I’m told so they’ll leave me alone, but I don’t want to spend my life making the Halsteads miserable,” he said. “Now that I’ve gotten to know them, they’re really not so bad.”
“What’re you saying?” My mind raced to fill in the blanks with everything he hadn’t said yet.
“No one in my coven knows about you, but they don’t know that I know about you, either. So.” He shrugged. “If you were to go on a family vacation or go visit your dad for a few days… I can’t possibly follow you around twenty-four seven. How would I ever explain that to my parents?” He gave a diabolical grin. “What could I possibly do about it once it’s already been done?”
His words registered slowly at first, and then everything clicked into place all at once. If I changed, he didn’t want to know about it until after it was done. He couldn’t stop what he didn’t know was happening. He’d given me the perfect loophole.
“Honestly, you’d be doing me a favor if you broke this curse,” he said.
I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you, Isach.”
&n
bsp; “You have to know that if you do this, my coven won’t be happy, and I can’t promise they won’t retaliate.”
“I know.” I released him.
That was a problem I’d deal with when I had to, if I had to. But right now, I had both options open to me again. I could figure out a way to get rid of the eternal bond, change, and be with Trent for eternity. Or, I could stop fighting so hard, give in to the bond I shared with Jax, and have the normal human life I always wanted.
“And you’ll owe me,” he said.
I laughed but refrained from telling him that I’d do anything for him now. A promise like that to him could end up costing me a lot more than I was probably willing to pay. The lights in the gym came on, and groans rippled throughout the room.
The dance was officially over.
“C’mon, let’s go find everyone else.” Isach draped his arm around my shoulders, and we crossed the gym, which was clearing out fast.
Each step felt like I was marching toward my death. Maybe I was.
“Do you think I can pull off playing dumb so Abby will take pity on me?” he asked as we approached our table.
“You don’t have to play,” I said in a serious tone. “You’ve got the dumb thing down pretty well.”
Isach laughed, and I couldn’t stop from laughing, too. I was glad I’d come to the dance with him; it gave me a chance to get to know him better, and he wasn’t a horrible guy, just misunderstood and caught in the middle of something he wanted no part of. I could relate to that.
“I thought you two left already,” Luke said, head tilted.
“Nope.” I searched the table, and then the surrounding area, but there was no sight of Trent or Jax.
“They left,” Whitney said, her tone telling me everything I needed to know—they’d left and were now waiting for me.
“Are we still going to your house?” Abby asked Whitney.
Nodding, Whitney stood. “Can I ride with you guys?” She looked at Abby and Wyatt.
“What happened to your car?” Wyatt asked.
“I’m using it. There’s something I need to do,” I said, my heart lodging in my throat. “But I’ll meet up with you guys in a little bit, okay?”
Abby gave me a questioning look, but I pretended I didn’t see her. I was sure Whitney would give her all the details, or at least enough so Abby wouldn’t ask a million and one questions.
Whitney gave me a hug and whispered, “Good luck, and whatever you do, don’t apologize for your choice. You’re making it for a reason, and that’s all that matters.”
“Thanks.” I swallowed back the emotion threatening to choke me. “I’ll bring your car back in one piece,” I teased, needing to focus on something else for a moment.
“Yeah, you crash my car and our friendship is over.” She laughed. “Now, go get yourself a man.” She gently nudged me toward the exit.
Keys clutched tightly in my hand, I walked out of the gym, got into Whitney’s car, and sat there. Where was I going? I closed my eyes and rested my head on the seat. I didn’t need to just choose one of them; I had to let whoever I didn’t choose know, too. He deserved an explanation and a goodbye. I took a deep breath and started the engine.
It was time to embrace my future.
KEEP READING
for a sneak peek at
ETERNAL LOVE (The Cursed Series, Book 4)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
A massive thank you to my beta readers who’ve read so many version of this book that I lost count: Jennifer Pierce and Courtney Lynn Rose. Without you, this story wouldn’t be in the shape it’s in today. Your insights have been invaluable, so have your constant pep talks during all the times I was ready to give up. This is for my #TeamJax girls!
This book wouldn’t be as gorgeous as it is without my wonderful cover artist and formatter, Laura Heritage. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for so perfectly capturing everything I wanted on the cover.
For all my readers—THANK YOU! Thank you for taking a chance on a new author, for falling in love with Trent and Chloe and Jax as much as I have, and for sticking with me on this journey. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without all of you.
Finally, a heartfelt thank you and “I love you” to my husband and children, who are forever putting up with my insane writing schedule, and the rollercoaster of moods that go along with it.
And now, here’s a sneak peek at
Eternal Love: The Cursed Series, Book 4…
Coming December 15, 2020
Buy Here
If you enjoyed Eternal Bond (The Cursed Series, Book 3),
please consider leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads.
CHAPTER ONE:
This is Goodbye
MY HANDS TREMBLED, AND MY KNEES felt like rubber. Bile rose thick in the back of my throat. Was I really going to do this? Could I really do this? Saying goodbye was so permanent.
Blowing out a shaky breath, I knocked on the door, which swung open immediately, almost like he knew I was out here gathering my courage.
The hope and joy on his face was a cruel joke because I wasn’t here to tell him I’d chosen him. I was here to say goodbye, to break his heart beyond repair. Maybe coming here had been a mistake.
“Chloe?” Relief flooded his voice as he stepped aside so I could enter.
Taking that single step over the threshold took every ounce of effort I possessed. He swung the door closed, and the sound of the latch clicking made me jump. He tapped on his cell phone, then set it on the dresser.
“Come here,” he said, reaching for me.
“I—”
But I didn’t get anything else out before his lips were on mine. Whimpering, I allowed us to have this final moment together, knowing deep down in my soul that it would be our last. As always, when I kissed him, my body hummed to life, a steady staccato of physical need mixed with just the right amount of hesitation.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He locked his hands behind my back, holding me close, and rested his forehead to mine.
Closing my eyes, I was powerless to stop the tears from falling. Was I strong enough to do what needed to be done? Could I really say goodbye and walk out of this room knowing I’d never see him again?
I had to.
“I love you,” I said before I chickened out. I swallowed the urge to vomit. Telling him I loved him in one breath and then telling him I didn’t want to be with him in the next was awful.
His eyes popped open, and he straightened. “I love you, too,” he said, but there was a hesitation in his tone, almost as if he didn’t believe me.
“When we were locked up together, you said you loved me, and I never said it back to you. I was too scared and confused. But now I know. I do love you, Jax.” I moved away from him and hugged myself. “Even before you bit me, I was having feelings for you. I didn’t know what they meant back then, and I tried so hard to ignore them, to pretend they didn’t exist.”
I moved around the room, my thoughts as jerky and disjointed as my movements. “I know those feelings were real. They were all me, but now?” I shook my head.
“Now what?” He still stood in the same exact spot, arms by his sides, and I could tell he was starting to make sense of why I was here.
“I don’t know if the feelings I have for you now are real or all just because of this bond we have.” I stopped pacing and faced him.
“It’s not just the bond,” he said forcefully. “Think about it, Chloe. How could this bond even be possible if we didn’t already feel something for each other? An eternal bond like this doesn’t happen randomly.”
I froze, my mind trying to catch up with everything he’d just said. Was he right? Was the bond a manifestation of feelings we both had previously? Feelings I’d been trying so hard to fight? Maybe this was the universe’s way of telling me I was meant to be with Jax.
“Look, I know you have a lot more history with Trent than you do with me, and I know you love him. But you love me, too, Chloe. Th
at means something. At least, it does to me,” he said.
I sighed. Why was this so hard?
“It means something to me, too, but…” I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. A chill had worked its way into my bones. “You have been so great to me, Jax. You make me laugh, and you tell me the truth even when I don’t want to hear it. You have never broken a promise to me.”
He cracked a small smile.
“And when you were lying on that bed, dying, you still kept your promise not to change me. I even begged you to do it, and you wouldn’t because you knew it wasn’t what I wanted.”
“Do you regret it?” He closed the distance between us and took my hands into his. “Letting me feed on you?” His eyes were dark and filled with too much pain.
I shook my head. “No. Even knowing what I know now, knowing it would bond us, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I don’t want you to die.” Fresh tears spilled down my face. “Because you deserve to live, and”—I licked my lips—“you deserve to find someone who can love you the way I love Trent,” I whispered.
“Don’t do this,” he begged, his words thick with emotion. “Please.”
“I’m sorry.” My lips trembled, and I glanced up at him through tear stained eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Then don’t,” he said more insistently. “We only had a couple of weeks, Chloe.” He tugged me closer, and I couldn’t resist. The need to comfort him overwhelmed me. “That’s not enough time to know how you really feel.”
He was probably right about that, but I couldn’t keep doing this. I needed to get my life in order, and that started here, by making this hard decision.
“You can’t tell me we didn’t have fun together,” he said.
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