“It just finally hit me that you could easily choose him over me, and I can’t be mad at you if you do because I pushed you into his arms.” He released his hold on the door and walked into his room.
I stood in the doorway, afraid if I followed him in there, I might never leave.
He turned back and stalked toward me. “Please tell me I still have a chance,” he pleaded.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. All this time, I wanted nothing more than to hear Trent say he wanted another chance with me, but now that he finally said it, I had no idea if he was sincere or if this was just him wanting what he thought he couldn’t have.
“Has anything changed?” I asked, willing my voice not to crack. “I’m still bonded to Jax. You still don’t trust me. You still can’t claim me or change me.”
Trent sighed, but he didn’t say anything else.
That’s what I thought. My decision to take time away from both of them was suddenly a lot more appealing. The distance would give me clarity, and that’s what I needed now more than anything.
When he still didn’t say anything, I spun on my heel and walked away. Each step away from him—away from the life I so desperately wanted with him—was heavy with regret and uncertainty.
I stopped near Whitney’s bedroom door and hesitated, my gaze wandering back toward Trent’s room. His door was still wide open. Every muscle and bone in my body was prepared to take me back there, to march into his room and stay there with him for as long as he’d let me.
Momentarily closing my eyes, I placed my hand over my thunderous, aching heart. What was I supposed to do?
I’d had a great time with Jax tonight; I always did. But the guilt was still clawing at me. Was that because I sincerely felt guilty for being with Jax? Or was it because of the eternal bond? Was this guilt for not being with Jax every waking moment?
Macaih had said it would only get stronger, that the harder I tried to fight it, the worse it would become. Maybe this reaction had nothing to do with betraying Trent and everything to do with the bond demanding I be with Jax. If I spent the night with Trent, would the guilt get even worse? Or would it fade?
Slowly, I walked back toward Trent’s room. He was on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, and head in his hands. He looked broken, and I hated seeing him like that. Why couldn’t things go back to the way they were before Ivy kidnapped me?
Heart in my throat, I approached and then kneeled in front of him. “Trent,” I whispered.
Lifting his head, he gazed at me with dark, tormented eyes. He stood, bringing me to my feet, too, and swept my hair off my shoulders, his hands cradling my neck.
“Please stay with me tonight,” he said so softly I almost didn’t hear him.
There was so much I wanted him to say to me, and that was one of the things. I needed to know he wanted me here with him and that he hadn’t offered just because he was worried about me.
I nodded, and his shoulders sagged with relief. I climbed into bed, and Trent was right behind me. I snuggled up to him, my head on his chest and his arm wrapped firmly around me, and a sense of peace washed over me.
Trent trailed his fingertips up and down my arm, lulling me to sleep. “Chloe?” he said, his voice a deep rasp in the otherwise quiet room.
“Yeah?” I twisted so I could see his face.
“Can I give you a goodnight kiss?”
Where had that come from? He’d never asked to kiss me before, but there was something extremely sexy and endearing about hearing him ask permission like that.
“Are you going to kiss me like you did in the classroom the other day?” I asked.
He groaned. “I don’t have the self-control for that right now.” He shifted so he was laying on his side, facing me. “I had something else in mind.”
I leaned forward to meet his lips, and his kiss was tender and languid and packed with more love than a single person should ever be able to handle. My mind spun, and when he pulled away, I was dizzy and breathless.
“Good night,” he whispered, the corners of his lips turning up in a faint smile.
“Night,” I said, barely able to get the word out.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT:
Fall Ball
FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS, I didn’t go out with Jax or Trent. Nor did I kiss either of them. I’d talk to them in school and on the phone at night, but that was it. I refused to keep bouncing between the two of them, because doing so only confused me more.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the night I’d spent with Trent. We didn’t talk—all he did was hold me as I slept, and the following morning, he thanked me. I had hoped he’d say more, but he hadn’t. Longing to be with Trent like that again outweighed all the lingering guilt I still carried around with me.
I wasn’t dreaming about Jax like I used to, but I did miss him. I missed the way he’d read my aura and tease me, the way his eyelids would lower slightly right before he kissed me, the way his arms felt around me.
The eternal bond was still linking us, and it was just as strong as ever. But the more I forced myself to stay away from Jax, the easier it was to ignore the constant pull, which was almost unbearable when I was physically near him.
Tonight would be the true test. The Fall Ball was finally here, and this would be the first time in weeks I’d see both Trent and Jax outside of school. I took a deep breath and smoothed my hands over my dress before twisting around in front of the mirror. This dress really was spectacular.
“Are you ready?” Abby asked, walking into my room. “Oh, wow, Chloe. You look gorgeous.”
“Thanks.” I smiled and turned to face her. “So do you.”
“Wyatt just texted. They’re pulling into the driveway any minute,” she said, excitement ringing in her tone.
Nervous butterflies raged in my stomach. “Let’s go, then,” I said.
“Oh, look at you two.” Aunt Beth clasped her hands over her heart, her expression full of pride. “Dean. Come here and look at them.”
Abby and I shared a look that screamed, can they be any more annoying? But we smiled as we descended the stairs in our dresses and heels.
Isach and Wyatt would be here any second, and while I was grateful to have a date, disappointment was an anchor in my stomach. I wanted to be going with Trent.
Uncle Dean joined Aunt Beth at the bottom of the stairs. He crossed his arms and glared at us in that way only a dad can pull off. “You really think I’m letting you leave the house dressed like that?”
Aunt Beth swatted him and laughed. “Stop it. They both look beautiful.” She lifted her cell phone in front of her and snapped what had to be at least a hundred pictures.
The doorbell rang, and Uncle Dean pivoted on his heel to go answer it, but not before winking at us like we were conspirators. A moment later, he returned with Isach and Wyatt in tow.
My eyes widened at the sight of Isach—he wore black dress pants, a white button-down shirt, and a black tie. Simple, but on him, it stood out. He was actually quite handsome. Too bad he was a psychotic witch who’d tried to kill me, and would try again if I ever attempted to break the curse.
“Wow, Chloe,” Isach said. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you.” My steps faltered.
His gaze was trained solely on me, which was weird—and unsettling—considering the entire reason we were even going to this dance together was so he could be closer to Abby. But he hadn’t once looked at her. Well, this night just got a whole lot stranger.
“You look good, too,” I said.
“Okay, I need pictures,” Aunt Beth declared with glee as she once again held up her cell phone.
After twenty minutes of non-stop pictures, we finally left for the dance. Wyatt drove, so Abby was in the front seat with him, and I was in the back with Isach. Abby chattered the whole way there, and I listened, but my mind—as usual—was elsewhere.
Tonight was the night I had to make a choice. Trent or Jax. Trent was the choice I wanted
to make, but choosing him meant spending my life fighting the bond I shared with Jax. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to do that.
And if I did choose Trent, would he ever be able to trust me? Or would he constantly worry I was lusting after Jax? I wanted to be able to promise him that wouldn’t happen, but I couldn’t do that, not as long as I was bonded to Jax. Could I spend my life with someone who didn’t trust me, knowing I’d always have to prove myself to him?
Choosing Jax meant fully giving myself over to him and the bond, which would be so easy. I wouldn’t have to constantly fight my instincts or worry about driving myself crazy. I did love him, but when I imagined my future, he wasn’t the guy by my side. I sighed heavily, wishing I were closer to making a decision.
“You okay?” Isach whispered.
“Huh?” I glanced up at him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Good, because we’re here.” He nodded toward the school.
I sucked in a sharp breath. The parking lot was full, and the building was lit up. Throngs of people in formal wear filed into the school. Excited voices and laughter filled the evening air.
Wyatt parked, and then he and Isach got out to open mine and Abby’s doors. I took Isach’s offered hand and stepped out of the car.
A cold breeze whipped around us, and I regretted not grabbing a jacket. I glanced up; the sky was dark and brooding. Was it supposed to rain tonight? I hadn’t thought to check the weather. Then again, it didn’t really matter when we’d be inside.
I looped my arm through Isach’s, and we followed behind Wyatt and Abby, careful to keep a safe distance so we could chat.
“She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?” I asked, inclining my head toward Abby.
“Stunning,” Isach said.
Glancing at him, I narrowed my eyes. “Why do I feel like you don’t really mean that?”
“No, I mean it.” He sighed. “She seems… happy.”
Isach didn’t, though, and I swore there was a hint of defeat in his tone. Everything about him was so different lately—he was actually nice and compassionate. Clearly, there was a lot more to him than I realized.
“It wouldn’t be fair to interfere for my own selfish purposes,” he said.
Shock reverberated through me. Wow—who was this guy? I shook my head. “She is happy, but not as happy as you might think,” I whispered.
Isach glanced at me and smiled. “Thanks.”
We got in line to get inside, and Isach handed Mr. Patterson our tickets. Mr. Patterson ripped our tickets in half, smiled, and said, “Have fun.”
Abby grabbed my hand and squealed. “C’mon, let’s go find everyone else.”
She dragged me into the gym, which was dark except for the strands of tiny white and green lights that hung from the ceiling and down the walls.
Decorations were minimal—balloons and streamers and fake leaves in a rainbow of colors: greens, reds, oranges, and yellows that mimicked the changing trees outside. When Ellie and I had been decorating, everything looked kind of cheesy, but now, when everything was in place and the lights were lit, it was breathtaking.
“Chloe! Abby!” Ellie waved to us from a table she’d claimed near the bleachers.
Abby spun around to reach for Wyatt. Isach wasn’t far behind, and the four of us headed toward Ellie. She was there with Nick, Gina, Luke, and Whitney. There was no sign of Trent or Jax, though. I fought against the disappointment threatening to crush me. They were planning to come, weren’t they?
Music blared through the gym, and shouts erupted as people rushed to the dance floor, my friends among them, and I was unable to resist. We danced nonstop through four songs before the DJ played a slower song. I wandered back to the table as they paired up with their dates.
“Want to dance?” Isach asked before I had a chance to sit.
“Sure.” I shrugged.
He laughed. “Try to control your enthusiasm.”
He put his hands on my waist, and I put hands on his shoulders, and we swayed to the music.
After a moment, he asked, “So, she’s really not that happy?” Isach’s gaze wandered over to Abby.
She had her head on Wyatt’s chest, and his arms were wrapped tightly around her back. There was a certain peace and calmness on her face, but Wyatt just looked bored. I frowned.
“No,” I said, refocusing my attention on Isach. “I mean, she’s having fun, but she keeps telling me she wants to find someone who looks at her the way Trent always looked at me.”
I hung my head, ashamed that I’d screwed up so badly that I’d lost that with Trent. And Jax never looked at me like I was his entire world.
“If she’d pay attention, she’d see she already has that,” Isach said.
My head jerked up, and I stared at him while he stared at Abby. I couldn’t believe it! He really did look at her like she was his everything. How was that possible?
“You barely know her,” I said a little harsher than intended.
“Maybe not, but like I told you before, the time I did spend with her…” He shook his head as if the memories physically hurt. “She’s just so full of life. Happy. Funny.” He averted his gaze back to me. “She’s everything I want.”
“What about your coven? She doesn’t exactly fit in with them, does she?”
“No, but neither do I really.” The song ended, and Isach released me. “I’m going to get a drink. Want something?”
“Water, please.”
With a nod, he disappeared into the crowd. Something bloomed in my chest—sympathy for Isach? Or just more of an understanding of who he was? I couldn’t help but wonder if his attempt to kill me was at the demand of his coven to cause more harm to Trent than Isach’s desire to be evil.
Ellie, Abby, and Whitney rushed toward me, their faces flushed and their eyes bright. “C’mon, we’re taking a break.” Ellie put her arm around my shoulders. “You look great, by the way.”
“Thanks. So do you,” I said as I allowed her to lead me back to the table.
“He’s here,” Whitney leaned over to whisper in my ear.
“Who?” I asked, but before she could answer, Trent came into view.
“Holy shit,” Trent said. He stood, his eyes wide as his gaze slowly raked down my body.
A shiver wiggled through me, but I stood still, refusing to give in to my body’s reaction to him.
“Told ya.” Abby giggled and playfully hip bumped me.
Trent rounded the table and stood in front of me, his gaze still drinking me in.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you this speechless before,” I teased. My heart thrashed in my chest, though, a traitor to my plan to act calm.
“Me either,” he said, then laughed softly. “Honestly, Chloe. You’re absolutely gorgeous.” He shook his head, once again checking me out, and then he took my hands into his. “And I’m quite literally the dumbest guy on the face of the earth.”
I smiled, and my heart went from thrashing to fluttering. Was he finally realizing how wrong he’d been to break up with me? Did it even matter anymore? Tonight, I’d make a choice, and with that one decision, I’d alter our lives forever.
“Here you go,” Isach said, holding out a small bottle of water.
Slipping my hands from Trent’s, I took the water. “Thank you.”
Isach gave me a knowing smile, nodded, and then took a seat at the table—right next to Abby. I opened the water and took a sip, hoping the cold liquid would cool the fire burning inside of me.
“He’s not trying anything, is he?” Trent asked, his tone suddenly sharp.
“No. He’s been a perfect gentleman.” I took another drink. “And don’t worry. He’s too busy watching Abby to be any sort of problem tonight.”
“Good.”
Another upbeat song started to play, and once again, I was swept onto the dance floor with Ellie, Abby, Gina, and Whitney. Their interference was a welcomed distraction, and I got lost in the fun of dancing with my friends. When I was with them, I didn�
�t have a care in the world, and right now, I needed that.
“He hasn’t stopped watching you,” Ellie shouted over the music and bobbed her head in the direction of Trent. Then she gave me a thumbs up.
I laughed. Excitement was thick in my veins. Between the kiss we’d shared the night I’d stayed with him and his reaction to me tonight, maybe he really did regret breaking up with me. Not that I wanted him to suffer for his choice—well, maybe I did a little; it was only fair after all.
Much too soon, the music slowed again, and I turned to head back to the table when I was intercepted. “Jax,” I said, shocked.
Though, I didn’t know why I was so surprised to see him here. He knew I’d be making a decision tonight, and there was no way he’d miss that.
“Dance with me?” he asked.
I nodded, not sure I could speak. I really wanted to dance with Trent, but I had no idea if he wanted the same. If he did, he would’ve asked me. I took Jax’s hand, and he spun me around before pulling me into his arms.
“You look amazing,” he said, smiling.
“Thank you.” I cleared my throat.
Nerves twisted my stomach, and something akin to fear spread up my arms. I wasn’t afraid of Jax, but the feeling was more like fear of getting caught. What would Trent think if he saw me dancing with his brother? Not that he could say anything—he’d practically shoved me into Jax’s arms.
“Have you decided yet?” His voice was low at my ear, and I closed my eyes, instinctively leaning into him. His hold on me tightened.
“No,” I whispered, sliding my hands over his shoulders and locking my hands behind his neck.
He pulled back far enough to see my eyes. “Either you’ve gotten really good at lying, or you’re telling the truth.”
I laughed. “I’m telling the truth.” I rested my head on his shoulder, savoring the feel of his arms around me, holding me.
Depending on what happened later tonight, this might be the last time I was ever in his arms. A heavy sadness landed in my gut. I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it; he’d become such a presence, a source of comfort and strength.
But if I chose Trent, I’d have to give up Jax. Completely and totally. There was no way I could have him in my life and have a relationship with Trent. How could I expect Trent to do the same, though? Jax was his brother. It wasn’t fair to expect him to cut Jax out of his life, too.
Eternal Bond : (The Cursed Series, Book 3) Page 35