Crazy Stupid Bromance

by Lyssa Kay Adams

  “I would have fucking found a way to attend my own daughter’s Christmas pageant.”

  Missy shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. I’m leaning heavily toward not.”

  She stood. “These things you’re so upset about? That’s the good stuff. You’re sitting here crying over your whiskey because you missed the holidays and the birthday parties, but you don’t see the other stuff. There are no videos of the weeks of sleepless nights where I had to walk up and down a hallway with a colicky newborn. There are no videos to show you of the homework fights and the eye-rolling years or the long hours of potty training or the embarrassing time she threw a full-on tantrum at Target and I had to carry her out like a football under my arm. Can you honestly sit here and tell me you wanted all of that? That you would have been there for all of that?”

  His eyes darkened. “We’ll never know, will we? Because you fucking kept her from me.”

  “You should have answered your phone.”

  “You should have fucking tried harder!”

  She studied him quietly. “Maybe you’re right.”

  His eyes widened in surprise at her admission.

  “Maybe I should have called relentlessly every day for six months instead of one. Maybe I should have mailed ultrasound photos to your apartment. Hell, maybe I should have flown cross-country with a newborn baby to show up unannounced at the NFL Draft. The thing is, I’m willing to stand here and admit to you that I could have tried harder, but only if you are willing to admit that it wouldn’t have made a difference.”

  He blinked, face stony once again.

  “And until you’re willing to do that, there’s nothing more for you and me to talk about.”

  Missy stormed to her bedroom and slammed the door. Several minutes later, she heard her bedroom door creak open. She rolled over in bed and saw AJ silhouetted in the doorway.

  He leaned drunkenly against the doorframe. “I want to hear about the tantrum at Target.”

  Missy stared into space. She should tell him to fuck off but didn’t. Instead, she scooted up in bed and leaned against the headboard.

  “She was three, way too precocious, and long overdue for a nap. I needed to run in to grab a birthday present for one of her friends at day care. The minute we got in the toy aisle she saw something she wanted but my budget for the week only allowed for a toy for the little boy. She had a meltdown like kids do. Except I finally had to carry her out, and the minute we hit the parking lot she started yelling “HELP.” She damn near got me arrested.”

  AJ’s bark of a laugh caught her by surprise. “What did people do?”

  “They looked at me like I was kidnapping a child! I was like, she’s mine, she’s just mad.”

  He laughed quietly again, but sober silence once again followed. “What was it she wanted?”

  “I don’t even remember. Probably a Disney Princess toy. She was really into those at that age.”

  He turned away from her, and then she watched as his shoulders dropped. And then his hands came to his face and . . . oh shit. He was crying. Openly weeping.

  Missy threw back the covers and slid out of bed.

  “AJ . . .”

  He whipped around and yanked her against his hard body. His face dropped to her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Missy. I’m sorry that you ever had to make those kinds of choices, that my own fucking daughter had to go without a goddamned toy at Target because her mom couldn’t afford it while her father was off making fucking millions of dollars.”

  She held him while he cried, until his strength gave way and he leaned against the wall behind them. He slid down to the floor and sat with one knee raised.

  “You were right,” he said.

  “About?”

  “It wouldn’t have made a difference.”

  Missy took pity on him and joined him on the floor. “Thank you for admitting that.”

  He rolled his head against the wall to look at her. “I was terrified of being a father. Of what it would mean, not just for me, but for her. All I am, all I know, is football. She was better off without me, and we both know it.”

  “Is that your justification or your apology?”

  “It’s my regret.” AJ reached up and pushed her hair off her forehead. “But it’s not just Tara I regret. I missed out on other things too.”

  The weight and meaning of his gaze made her cheeks blaze.

  “I missed out on you. On watching you be a mom and grow into the woman you are. I think I would have liked being part of that.”

  Her heart caught. He didn’t know what he was saying. He was just full of remorse and whiskey sentiments. “You’re still romanticizing things. You didn’t love me. We wouldn’t have gotten married, and even if we had, it would have been miserable. You know that.”

  “It wouldn’t be miserable now.”

  She laughed out loud and let her head fall back against the wall. He really was drunk.

  “We could try, Missy. Couldn’t we?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  She rolled her head to look at him. “Because you don’t really want to.”

  “Yes, I do. I want to sweep you off your feet the way I should have back then. I want to buy you your dream house and pay for Tara’s college and take you on trips. I want to give you jewelry and—”

  Disappointment brought her back to her feet. “Is that what you think I want or need? What Tara needs?” She shook her head before he could respond. “We don’t need you to show off for us. We just need you to be here. There’s no grander gesture than that. And it’s the one thing you have never been able to give us.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Alexis had never considered herself a coward.

  Naive, maybe. Misguided for sure. But everything she’d ever done, every horrible mistake she’d ever made, had been rooted in reasons.

  Not necessarily good reasons. Sometimes really bad reasons. Sometimes the reason was that she had no other choice. But not once did she ever feel like she’d done something purely out of fear.

  Not until she told Noah she needed space and then walked away from him on Monday. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but as the days passed, doubt and regret followed by a punishing dose of loneliness made clear what had really been driving her decision: cowardice. She’d been humiliated by his reaction to their kiss, and so she’d simply gone into hiding. She’d spent all week avoiding everyone and their questions—Liv, Jessica, Sonia. She threw herself into work and dodged all attempts to get her to talk.

  Even when the call came in from the transplant center with the news that she had passed the initial blood test, making her a possible match for the transplant, she had the transplant team tell Elliott and Candi rather than calling them herself.

  So it really shouldn’t have been a surprise on Thursday night when a vicious pounding at her front door brought her reluctantly downstairs. She opened the door and found Liv, Jessica, Thea—Liv’s sister—and Sonia there. They held bottles of wine, cartons of ice cream, and determined expressions that left her no choice but to step back and let them in.

  “Sit,” Liv said, pushing Alexis toward the couch in her living room. “We’ll take care of everything else. And then you’re going to tell us what the hell is going on.”

  Alexis feigned ignorance. “What do you mean?”

  Jessica and Sonia plopped down on opposite ends of the couch and tugged her down into the middle. “Don’t play dumb,” Jessica said. “You’ve been weird all week, and Noah hasn’t been in the café since Monday morning.”

  “We’ve both been busy.”

  “Is that why he looks like a puppy who got his favorite toy taken away?” Thea asked, returning from the kitchen with spoons and ice cream. She shoved a pint of dark chocolate cherry into Alexis’s hands and then lowered he
rself to the floor. Liv followed with wine and glasses.

  “Did you guys have a fight or something?” Jessica asked.

  Alexis poked her spoon into the ice cream. “No.”

  Jessica accepted a glass of wine from Liv. “Does it have something to do with him yelling at Elliott?”

  “Yes, and no. I don’t know where to start.” She handed the ice cream to Sonia, who dug in without hesitation.

  Liv suddenly gasped. “Holy shit. Something happened between you two.”

  Alexis’s ears got hot.

  “Did you sleep together?” Liv blurted.

  “No!” Alexis sat up straight, but either her face or her tone of voice gave her away. She was holding out on them.

  “Then what’s going on?” Liv asked.

  Alexis tossed her hands in the air. “For God’s sake, we kissed, okay?”

  Her friends gasped in unison so hard that Alexis’s ears popped.

  “Oh my God,” Alexis moaned, falling back against the cushions.

  Liv grabbed her hands and dragged her back up. “Details.”

  “Details?” Alexis snapped. “Fine. The details are that I kissed him and he told me to stop, so I told him I needed some space, and now things are totally awkward between us, and I’m freaking out about seeing him this weekend for the bachelor and bachelorette weekend. There. You’re caught up.”

  Liv’s face tightened in confusion. “Wait. He told you to stop kissing him? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It makes perfect sense. I was wrong about what he wanted, and now I’ve ruined our friendship.”

  Liv sat back, shaking her head and biting her lip. “No, you don’t understand. He—” She cut herself off with a wince.

  “He what?” Alexis asked.

  “I’m probably not supposed to tell you this, because Mack is super serious about book club, but this seems like an emergency.”

  Alexis shook her head. “What are you talking about?”

  “Noah. He asked to join the book club. For you.”

  Alexis’s heart skidded sideways. “He did?”

  “He wants you, Alexis,” Liv said.

  The roar of her heart nearly drowned out her own voice. “Then why did he push me away?”

  Sonia made an unattractive noise. “Because he’s a man, and men are stupid shits.”

  Thea gave Sonia a hush look. “Because sometimes the scariest thing in the world for a man is to admit how he feels,” she said. “Gavin and I nearly divorced because of that fear.”

  Liv shrugged. “And you know how I almost screwed things up with Mack because of the same thing.”

  “This is different. I kissed him, and he stopped and—” Shame turned her stomach to rot.

  “And what?” Thea prodded. “Did he say anything?”

  I didn’t regret it! Alexis looked at her lap. “He tried to talk about it on Monday. He came to the café, but Elliott was there, and I was so upset about everything that was going on, and I told him I needed space.”

  Liv and the rest of the girls exchanged a heavy look. “So you actually pushed him away too,” Liv finally said.

  Alexis squeezed her eyes shut and pressed the heels of her hands into them. “I was confused and humiliated. And now I feel like I’ve destroyed the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with a man.”

  Liv faced Alexis with an expression that said shit was about to get real. Alexis hated that expression. “This is why you’ve been avoiding me this week,” she said.

  “I’m sorry. I needed to hide for a while.”

  Liv softened her features and her tone. “I understand. I know that’s one of the ways you cope with anxiety. That’s why I didn’t do this two nights ago, but I wish I’d known the reason you were stressed.”

  “Alexis,” Thea said, quietly interjecting. “What kind of relationship do you want with Noah?”

  “I kissed him, didn’t I?” She was aiming for humor, but it fell flat when her voice wobbled. “I feel safe with him. And it’s been so long since I’ve felt safe with a man.”

  Liv squeezed her knee.

  “It’s just hard to trust my own instincts sometimes. And when Noah pulled away from me, it just kind of destroyed that sense of trust in myself all over again.”

  Jessica slung an arm around her back. “You deserve to feel safe and happy. And if that’s with Noah, then you need to be honest with him.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “Of course you are. But you’re also the bravest person I’ve ever known. You’re telling me you have the courage to take on someone like Royce Preston but not to tell Noah that you want more than friendship?”

  Alexis managed a small laugh. “I told him maybe we could talk this weekend, but I don’t want to make things awkward.”

  Liv snorted. “For who?”

  Alexis motioned to all her friends. “You guys. Everyone else. This weekend is supposed to be about you and Mack, not Noah and me.”

  Liv pointed. “Stop. That’s ridiculous. We’re your friends.”

  “But this is your bachelorette weekend. I don’t want to ruin it.”

  “The only thing that could ruin this weekend is if you weren’t there.”

  “Trust me. The thought crossed my mind.”

  Liv pursed her lips, as if a decision had been made. “Well, here’s a better thought. You’re going to use this weekend to your advantage. And we’re going to help you.”

  Alexis gulped. “I’ve seen that look on your face before, Liv, and it’s terrifying.”

  “Just leave it to us,” Liv said. “By the end of this weekend, you and Noah will be naked.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  By Friday, Noah felt like the dirty floor of a public bathroom.

  He’d known it would be torture to go a week without talking to Alexis, but he hadn’t been prepared for the crushing loneliness of it. Waking up without texting her. Going to bed without calling to say good night. For someone who apparently hadn’t been in a relationship, he sure as shit felt like he’d been dumped.

  And worse than all of it was the memory of kissing her. Of holding her in his arms, finally. Of feeling her hands on him, hearing her little gasps and moans. His dreams had been downright pornographic all week, and that made him feel even more like shit, like a betrayal or something.

  He couldn’t sleep at all Thursday night in anticipation of finally seeing her again, so even though their plane to Memphis wasn’t supposed to take off until ten o’clock Friday morning, he headed to the airport early. Just in case he could get Alexis alone.

  Noah followed the signs to the area where private planes and chartered flights checked in. Colton had arranged for them to use some private jet for the weekend, and the lefty radical part of him cringed at the carbon footprint this one-night getaway was leaving on the Earth. Memphis was a three-hour drive, tops. They didn’t need a damn plane.

  He wished he and Alexis were driving together. It would give them time to talk, because there wouldn’t be much time today and tomorrow. The plan was for the guys to head straight from the airport to a day spa for massages while Liv and her bridesmaids got pedicures. The entire group would then meet back up for dinner and barhopping at night.

  Noah parked in the private lot outside the hangar where they were supposed to meet and swallowed away the disappointment when he didn’t see Lexa’s car. His disappointment soared when he realized the Russian was already there too.

  Noah found him standing alone next to a massive suitcase and an inflatable inner tube. He was laughing at something on his phone. He held it out for Noah to see as he approached. “Raccoon eating grapes.”

  Noah nodded at the inner tube. “What’s up with that?”

  “They have pool at hotel. I cannot swim.” He cracked up and turned his phone around again. “Raccoon eating banana.”


  “What the hell are you bringing?” Noah grumbled with a nod at the suitcase.

  “I have special diet needs.”

  “That’s all food?”

  The Russian held out his arms. “You are having a bad day. Do you need a hug?”

  “I’m good, thanks—mrph.” He was suddenly smoochy faced against the Russian’s massive chest. A beefy hand pounded him on the back and nearly knocked his ribs out of place.

  “Yes, you need a hug.”

  “Can I interrupt or is this, like, a special moment?” Colton had snuck up on them, his voice laced with amusement.

  Noah backed up, and Colton let out a shocked noise. “Holy shit, you look horrible.”

  The Russian pounded his back again. “He is having bad day.”

  He was saved from answering when the Russian turned his phone around again. “Raccoon eating marshmallow.”

  Colton tugged Noah away several feet and lowered his voice. “Since you’re rooming with him, see if you can find out anything.”

  “About what—wait. I’m rooming with the Russian?”

  “Yeah, didn’t you know?”

  “No, I didn’t fucking know. Who decided that?”

  Colton shrugged. “Mack, I guess. Nearly everyone else is bringing a wife or girlfriend, and I’m rooming with Mack’s brother. So that leaves you and the Russian.”

  “Why can’t I room with Liam?” His voice took on the quality of a whiny teenager.

  “Because you have investigative skills.” Colton nodded back toward the Russian’s massive suitcase and lowered his voice. “Snoop through his luggage and see if you find any evidence of his wife.”

  “You seriously need to go on tour again.”

  “I’m working on my next album.”

  “Then find a hobby.”

  The Russian walked over, laughing behind hand. He turned his phone around. “Raccoon eating popcorn.”

  Noah glared at Colton, who winked and walked away. Noah wandered to the front of the hangar to watch for Alexis. But as the minutes ticked by, everyone else arrived except her. At a few minutes before ten, Mack announced that they could start boarding.