“Yet. Didn’t he just get out of jail?” she asks, her brows rising as she looks down at my stomach and then back up to me.
I nod. “Yeah, he did. Not that it’s your business, or has any bearing on my pregnancy,” I snap.
She reaches out and wraps her hand around my wrist. “Just watch yourself. You know he killed a woman, don’t you?”
Lifting my head up, I flick my eyes down to where she’s holding me, then meet her gaze. “Yes, I know why he was sent to prison. Unlike you, I don’t hold that over his head or judge him for it. I’m not on drugs, he’s not on drugs, and I would be grateful if you didn’t spread around false rumors about us.”
She smirks, releasing my arm. “He’s got you fooled, completely and totally fooled, doll.”
“He doesn’t, but thanks for the bitchy warning.”
Her eyes widen before her lips curl into a sinister looking smile. “We’ll see,” she laughs.
Ignoring her, I turn and make my way out of the office. Sticking my grainy photograph in my purse, I head out of the doctor’s office.
Normally, I work on Fridays, but with this appointment, I decided to take the day off and trade it for next Tuesday which was my normal day off. With an entire day to spend doing whatever I want, the first thing that I do is go to the bank and cash my paycheck.
Next, I take that entire fistful of cash down to my landlord’s office and pay my rent for next month. Sometimes I pay weekly, but with Rylan now helping me out, I decide to take a leap of faith and get ahead while I’m able.
Without anything but a few dollars left, I fill up as much of my gas tank as possible and drive toward Walmart. I don’t bother grabbing a buggy once I’m inside the store, I don’t have any money to buy anything anyway.
Walking toward the back, I make my way to the baby department. The clothes are all neatly folded on tables and hung up on the racks. With shaky fingers, I reach for a price tag and let out an exhale. These are much better than the boutique.
Granted, it’s still more than I have, but at least this doesn’t seem completely out of my reach. I didn’t really want to not be able to clothe my child, and I refuse to take James to court for child support. He doesn’t deserve to know this baby, not even its name.
Slowly, I look at every single cute clothing item before I make my way into the aisles of necessities. That is where I become slightly overwhelmed. Babies need so much. There are creams, and powders, diapers, formula, and wipes. I feel like I’m lost as I stare at all of the things that are offered.
“You look terrified,” a girl points out.
I look over and she has a baby in her buggy, her cart full to the top with baby things.
“I am,” I admit.
She smiles. She’s a few years older than I am, but she looks like she has the wisdom of a ninety-year-old. I wonder if I’ll ever look that way, or if I’ll always be completely terrified and lost.
“I was too. Honestly, I didn’t think I could do this whole mom thing, but here I am.” She shrugs with a smile.
I return her look, although I feel like my lips are trembling. “I’m kind of alone,” I admit.
Something dark crosses her features and she nods. “Yeah, I know, Channing. Me too.” She turns and walks away. I watch her go, too shocked to ask her what she means. Something ugly slides through me, though. She knew my name, she knew—she knew.
I don’t look at any more baby stuff. In fact, I leave Walmart in a daze. I look around the parking lot, hoping to catch a glimpse of her again. I don’t recognize her from school, but she’s important. I can feel it. She is me. She is another girl James, or someone, manipulated and used. I need to know more, I need to know that I’m not the only one so that maybe we can stop him.
Sitting in my car, I watch the exit doors for the next hour. She doesn’t come out of the store. She can’t still be in there, but maybe she is. I wait another thirty minutes. Then start my engine.
I need to get home. Rylan will be off of work soon and he made a point to remind me that we were going to go to the grocery store tonight, together. I don’t want to be late. I’m far too excited to spend time with him, I’ve missed him today.
This entire relationship is so exciting and new for me. I didn’t think feeling like this would ever be possible. Yet, here I am—loving it. I don’t speed, but I do take the quickest route home. I’m practically vibrating with excitement when I pull up to my duplex.
Looking down at my clock, I have just enough time to freshen up before Rylan gets home from work, home. Our home. I’m on cloud freaking nine, just thinking about the fact that I have a home with someone who wants to be there and wants me. Someone who is open and available. Someone who is capable of loving me, and this baby.
Rylan is all of those things, too. He wants us, wants this family, and I know that it’s freakishly soon, but I can tell that he’s genuine. He needs us, just as much as we need him. I think that together we’re going to have a beautiful life. I can just feel it.
“Well, well, well, this is what that no good trash has been doin’ since he got out. Didn’t even come home to see his mama and daddy. Doesn’t even know we’re back together,” a deep raspy voice announces.
Lifting my head, I see two shadows against my front door. They both push off of it and walk toward me. I freeze, holding my breath eyeing both of them. The man is tall, too thin, his hair dark brown and his eyes the exact shade of Rylan’s. The woman has Rylan’s shade of dark blond hair, but her eyes are a smoky blue and she, too, is far too thin. She looks like my mother. I imagine if I knew who my father was, Rylan’s father would look like him as well.
“You’re Rylan’s parents,” I murmur.
The woman sneers, but the man looks surprised that I know. “He tell you about us?” he asks.
I shrug. “A little. Talked more about Wyatt’s parents,” I say, my words being a direct hit. Rylan’s father flinches. His mother, her face twists into an even uglier sneer. I didn’t know it was possible, but the woman ages right in front of me in her anger.
“Meddling assholes is what they were,” she announces.
I don’t respond to her obvious bullshit of a statement. I keep my mouth closed and wonder if I have enough minutes on my prepaid cell to call Lulamae for help. She only lives a few blocks over, and I know she has a few shotguns in her house that she would be more than happy to use against these two low-lifes any day of the week. Especially, since she was thrilled to use it against my own mother.
“Would you like me to tell Rylan that you stopped by when he gets home from work?” I ask.
I wonder how they even knew where he was living. He went to Wyatt’s first, and he’s only been staying here for a couple of days. I frown, wondering exactly how they figured out where he is, and why they’re here all of a sudden when he’s been out for weeks.
“Work,” the woman snorts. “Sellin’ dope you mean?” she asks.
It hits me. She wants a fix. That’s the only explanation. Rylan told me she never took care of him, but I bet she got drugs from him when he sold. I have no doubts about it. My mother would want them from me if that’s what I was doing.
“No, he has a job. He works with Wyatt,” I point out.
It’s the man’s turn to laugh. “For a minute. Until he realizes the money ain’t worth his hard labor. Then he’ll be back on easy street. I got opportunities for him, we’ll just wait right here, little girl,” he winks.
His smile is crooked, a few of his teeth are missing, and it makes me sad for him because I can tell, at one point he was handsome. I could see why Lulamae would be attracted to him, twenty years ago or maybe more. He was once a handsome man. However, time has not been good to Mr. Lindsay. It hasn’t been good at all, in fact, it has steamrolled right over him, leaving him a pile of bones and skin.
I hear a truck’s engine down the street, and I let out a sigh of relief. Rylan is home, and Wyatt is with him, which means he’ll be there to support Rylan where I know I will inevit
ably fail. I don’t know him well enough yet to know what he needs when coming face to face with his family.
RYLAN
“What the fuck…” Wyatt’s words trail off. “What the actual fuck, how’d they know where you live?” he asks.
Looking up from my lap, I frown. My parents stand in the middle of Channing’s yard, talking to Channing. Wyatt speeds up a bit, then slams on the brakes and shifts the truck into park.
“I have no idea,” I grumble as he opens the door and slams it behind him.
I follow suit, wondering why he’s angrier than I am. Shouldn’t I be pissed off they’re here? I’m not. Annoyed? Sure, but not pissed. I actually don’t have much in the form of emotions when it comes to my parents. I don’t hate them, but I don’t like them all that much either. They’re just these people that live in the trailer park at the edge of town. Nothing more—nothing less.
“What the fuck’re you doin’ here?” Wyatt barks as soon as I make my way up to the four of them.
Shifting over to Channing, I slip my hand around her waist and tug her against my side. I’m dirty as fuck, drenched in sweat and dirt, caked in mud too, but I need her to anchor me. I frown at the thought. Need. I need her. She is my anchor, has been since I set eyes on her that first time. She settles me in a way I have never experienced before.
“Rylan, you gonna let that spoiled brat talk to your momma that way?” my mother screeches, then pouts.
I snort. “You’re both adults. Don’t call Wyatt names. He’s been good to me when he didn’t have to be,” I point out. “What do y’all want anyway?”
She narrows her gaze, but not at me, at Wyatt. She’s always thought Wyatt and his parents poisoned me against her. She doesn’t take ownership of her own demons, her own faults, it’s all everyone else… never her.
“You know why we’re here,” my father states, scratching at his neck. Shaking my head, I pull Channing even closer to my side.
“Don’t do that anymore, and I don’t plan on starting now,” I announce.
My father chuckles, lifting his hand and running his fingers through his hair. “If we weren’t desperate you know we wouldn’t be here,” he mumbles.
“I don’t even know how you found me, and I don’t really care. You aren’t welcome here. Come back, and I’ll call the sheriff on your asses,” I announce.
My mother’s head flies up, my father flinches, and Wyatt chuckles. Channing stays quiet and still next to me, but I don’t take her silence to mean anything. She has this same situation in her own life. Probably why we work out as well as we do, we’re both trying to dig out of the shallow graves our parents created us in.
“You wouldn’t, not on your own blood,” she hisses.
Leaning forward, I lift my hand and point in her direction. “Mother fuckin’ try me. I’m trying to keep clean. I got a job and a woman. I got friends, and I got all the family I need. What I don’t want or need are two junkies sniffin’ around me. Get gone, before I do call the law,” I announce.
My father wraps his hand around her wrist and tugs at my mother. “No, you won’t stay clean. You’ll be down in the trenches with us again soon enough. I’ll be comin’ back because you had the best hookups. I’ve been dreaming of tasting the good stuff for five years. You owe me,” she states.
My father is pulling her skinny body down the street, and I open my mouth to speak, but Wyatt beats me to it.
“Rylan doesn’t owe you shit. You’re trash. You’re a worthless junkie and he was always better than both of y’all. You just tried to drag him down to your level, but even when he was dealing, even when he was using, he was still better than you both. Get gone or it won’t be the sheriff you have to worry about, it’ll be me,” he growls.
My parents disappear around the corner a few moments later. I stare at a panting Wyatt. His face is red, and he’s pissed as shit.
“You know you don’t have to get so mad on my behalf that you give yourself a heart attack,” I announce.
He turns to me and a smile slowly appears on his lips. “Fuck,” he chuckles. “You know I can’t stand their asses,” he grunts.
Lifting my hand, I wrap my fingers around his shoulder and pull him in for a quick hug. “Love you cuz,” I murmur.
“You too, Ry. Now take your woman shoppin’. Goin’ out tomorrow night if y’all wanna come. Water’s on me Ry,” he calls out.
Lifting my hand, I tell him that I’ll text him. He leaves us standing on the front lawn, Channing tucked into my side, me dirty and tired on the outside, but clean as can be on the inside. My good life, the good shit surrounding me, and my parents’ filth fucking gone in the wind.
Lowering my head, I press my lips to the top of Channing’s head, closing my eyes and inhaling her sweet scent. Yeah, the fuckin’ good shit.
“How was your doctor’s appointment today, sweetheart?” I ask quietly.
She giggles and turns in my arms. “Shower, then shopping and I’ll tell you all about it,” she smiles.
Taking in her gorgeous face, I memorize it, tucking that into my head for another day. A day where she may not look at me with such enthusiastic, happiness. Fuck. This girl. She is it for me. Down to my bones, I can feel it.
Chapter Thirteen
RYLAN
I watch Channing agonize over every single item she places into the cart. She has a list of meals that she wants to make for the week, and she is adding up the cost of every single item on her calculator. I’m kind of in awe of her process for simple grocery shopping. I don’t rush her, or tell her to do things differently. She has a plan, and I want to see it play out.
Resting my forearms against the handle of the cart, I patiently wait for her to pick which box of rice she wants to buy. I could care less, not like I’m going to be cooking it since I have no clue how to cook in the first place.
“What do you think?” she asks.
Lifting my gaze to hers, I frown. “About?”
She smiles, shaking her head. “I talked to you for like five minutes,” she explains.
I shrug, obviously zoned out and not paying attention to her. Luckily, she doesn’t seem pissed off about that fact. Which is good for me, since I tend to zone out more often than not, getting lost inside of my own head or with my own thoughts.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” I murmur.
Her face softens and she presses her lips together. “I wanted to know if you would like chicken breast and rice, or fried chicken and rice?”
“What would you make yourself?” I ask.
She looks at the box, and then back up to me. “Chicken breast with broccoli and rice.”
“Then that’s what I want,” I state.
It’s not what I want, in fact, I don’t really give a fuck what she makes. Eating hot dogs from a gas station is better than what I ate locked up, so I could care less. Thing is, I know she’s adding a bunch of pressure on herself to make me happy. She doesn’t need to. I’m happy just being around her. Whatever she makes is fine. I’ll eat what she puts out in front of me.
She shakes her head, obviously not believing me. Reaching over, I wrap my fingers around the box and gently tug it out of her hand.
“Sweetheart, I honestly don’t care. You cook and I’ll eat. Whatever you want, as long as it’s not some vegetarian tofu shit, I’ll gladly consume.”
Channing frowns, then opens her mouth to speak when someone comes charging down the aisle. The woman’s cart clips Channing’s leg and she lets out a small sound of surprise.
“Whore,” the woman mutters under her breath.
She’s walking away quickly, and I turn to stop her and ask her what the fuck is going on, when Channing’s hand wraps around my forearm, stopping me. Looking down at her small hand, I slowly lift my gaze to meet hers. She has tears swimming in her eyes.
“Just ignore it,” she rasps.
I growl, looking behind me again. The woman is gone, like a coward she’s run away. “Ignore it? You say that like this is something no
rmal.” Channing’s face blanches and that’s when I know that it is. “Is it normal?” I demand.
She looks at the still almost empty shopping buggy, then back up to me. “You know people are going to say things. They just are. The other day James and his brother came into the diner and made a big scene. There were people, they’re obviously talking now.”
I inhale a deep breath and then exhale before I speak. “They should keep their mouths fucking shut. And next time that piece of shit even breathes the same air as you, call the sheriff. No fucking joke, Channing. Call the law on his ass.”
She releases my arm and turns around, her head hanging low. Walking around the cart, I wrap my hand around her hip and squeeze. Dipping my chin, I rest it on her shoulder, turning my head slightly to press my lips against her neck.
“Nobody would believe me, Rylan. My mother is who she is and anyway, I was eighteen when we got together. I willingly went to him for two years. He has an impeccable record. He is a pillar of the community. I am what that woman called me.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, her sadness filling the entire space around us.
“You aren’t, Channing. Don’t you dare for one second think that you are,” I growl against her neck.
She places her hand over the top of mine at her hip, squeezing my fingers before she releases it. “I knew he was married. I knew I was his mistress. I knew and I never stopped. I knew and all I could think was that I couldn’t wait for him to leave her, and be with me.”
“You know he was never going to do that, don’t you?” I chance asking her.
She turns around, her head tipping back and her eyes filled with such sadness, such overwhelming sadness that I want nothing more than to go over to James Bridges’ house and beat the absolute fucking shit out of him—repeatedly.
“I know. Deep down I always knew, but it was made abundantly clear to me not long ago.”
Lifting my hand, I cup her cheek. My eyes find hers, searching her gaze and feeling her regret deep in my soul. I have regrets too, deep regrets. She will get past this, the town will let it go, eventually. She will move on and be happy, one day. Probably never with me, but she will. I’ll help her get there, and when she’s ready to move on from the piece of shit that I am, then I’ll watch her go with a smile.
CONVICT: An Unfit Hero Novel Page 10