Ashes to Ashes

by A Lonergan

  Eight

  Arabella

  Nothing looked appetizing. Every item the kitchen staff brought out was left untouched on my plate. Sir Mackenzie stood up abruptly. His movements startled me from my daze.

  "May I have this dance?" he asked.

  I frowned and looked at my parents. My mother nodded her head, while my father just watched with indifference. Where were the two people that had cared too much about my safety? Where were the two people that had crushed me into being their puppet? I wore one outfit that they didn't approve of and they're ready to throw me to the wolves. I bit the inside of my cheek and painted a smile on my face. He swept me out of my chair and onto the polished floors. No one else had the confidence to do what the knight did, but after a few minutes another gentleman cut in.

  "May I have this dance?" Sir Mackenzie frowned at the man that had cut in but released me.

  Round and round I went to all the nameless and faceless men until my head was dizzy and my body felt light. They didn't speak as they twirled me around. When I caught my mother's eye, she had a faraway look on her face. Father was smiling and they were holding hands. They obviously weren't thinking of me.

  Finally, Alister cut in and I felt relief course through me. I gave him the biggest smile I could muster. "I must say, I am a little surprised to see you here."

  Alister frowned. "Do you think I don't belong?"

  I laughed. "No, I was just surprised, is all. Don't get your panties in a twist."

  He blushed and looked away from me. "You look different."

  I tilted my head and watched him. "Would it be the dress?"

  He chuckled. "A little bit. But there is something more. The way you carried yourself in here."

  "Tell me about yourself. I don't want to talk about me." I whispered. The song slowed down to a soft, romantic number and no one dared cut in. Everyone watched us, including my parents.

  Alister's hand slid a little farther down my back and my stomach ignited with butterflies. His eyes flicked down to my lips. My face grew hot and I hoped the makeup Beatrice had so expertly applied covered it well. "I have a little sister, that is watching us right now, her name is Anne. She's nine and she doesn't like crowds." I frowned. I hoped she wasn't uncomfortable with this charade. “My mother lives here at the castle, but I live on her estate."

  "Alone?" At the end of the song he dipped me and one of my braids brushed the floor. My heart plummeted to my stomach in the motion. He yanked me back up and my face came mere inches from his. I was breathless. Who was this man that spent so much time outside of my window getting berated with my shoes?

  "Don't get any ideas of sneaking over. I have a dog that is absolutely frightening." I took a step away from him and smiled. He wasn't very convincing.

  "You're the one that put the idea in my head." It was a slight lie. I hadn't thought about sneaking to his estate until he said it. But I had been thinking of running away for months. Maybe even years. I bowed to him and excused myself to the dinner table. I didn't care to dance any longer and I was sure my parents had more up their sleeves.

  * * *

  As soon as my parents were done with their games I took off for my room. I didn't mind with an escort, but I knew a few were following me. I sunk to the floor inside of my bedroom door. I had to hold onto my dance with Alister as long as I possibly could. I couldn't let my parents ruin the one good thing I had in my life right now. My forehead rested on my knees and for once in my life I felt joy even with all the commentary from the neighboring kingdoms, my dance with Alister trumped all of that. There were little snippets in my past of times that I had been happy but in the last few years? I hadn't felt anywhere near what I was feeling tonight. It was weird to be auctioned off to the highest bidder, but it was nice to have a conversation with a man. With men in general. A knock at the door had me on my feet in a flash.

  My father swept in and gave my dress another disapproving glance. His words repeated themselves over and over in my mind. I hardened my face. He needed to know that I wasn't going to be swayed by pretty words or gifts anymore. I wasn't a child and he didn't rule over my heart.

  "Did you need something?" My voice was cold. I couldn't remember a time I had spoken to him in this manner, but new times were coming. Things were going to change. I was determined.

  "Your behavior tonight was inappropriate, to say the least." He ran his fingers through his dark hair. It wasn't often that he was frazzled, it was an interesting sight. "This dress. I want to know who made this possible for you."

  Amusement flickered on my face. I could feel it starting on my lips then eventually it traveled to my eyebrows. "Do you think I am a child? A child that is to be married? Because that is how you treat me. How pathetic."

  Rage flashed across my father's face. "How dare you speak to me like that! When I ask for something, I always get it."

  "How dare you treat me like an animal! Like all I am to you is a show cow!" Anger fizzled through my body like I had never experienced before. "You will regret this."

  His mouth twitched into a cruel smile. "Regret what? You forget that you have no power here. None!" He ran his tongue over his front teeth. "I think we will marry you to the youngest son of the neighboring kingdom, Prince Richard."

  I remembered him. He was a little man with clammy hands. His mustache was curled on the ends and he was slightly handsy. I narrowed my eyes at my father. "Sounds like the perfect match for this family."

  He laughed in my face. Oh, how the tables had turned. He slammed the door on his way out. I kicked my shoes off and considered chucking them out the window. I tucked them away in the closet and sat on the shaggy rug. I knew Alister wouldn't be out there but for whatever reason, I couldn't bring myself to throw the tantrum. I knew he would find the evidence the next morning and have to dispose of them. I didn't need him cleaning up my messes. But I also couldn't marry.

  It wasn't about it being for love. It wasn't about it being for myself. It was about my parents forcing me to marry someone they knew was inadequate. Someone they knew I would loathe. I could eventually come to care for him, but I wanted something fiery. I wanted something with passion. I wanted someone that cared about what he did. Prince Richard didn't seem to care about much except the bread on his plate. I wanted someone that ignited my soul on fire and kept me burning with every glance. I needed to stop reading romance novels.

  I groaned. I didn't mean to be shallow but they picked the least desirable person in the room as punishment. It was always about proving a point.

  A point had been proven, that was for sure. I was going to find a way to get back at them if it was the last thing I did.

  Nine

  Alister

  I sat on the bench across from the princess' room. I could hear her heated argument from here, but I couldn't make out the actual words. Princess Arabella was angry. Angrier than I had ever heard her. I waited for the shoe to fly out of the window or even a book but nothing came. Which was surprising enough. The lights in her bedroom flickered out and I felt a tad deflated. I hoped with her frustration I would get another chance to speak to her, even though I couldn't touch her this time. I stood to leave when a shadow caught my eye. My feet slid on the wet grass as I searched for the object that had moved in my peripheral. The curtains from the princess' room billowed in the wind, but I was certain it hadn't been them. It had been darker, quicker. Then I saw it. It was someone in a cloak dashing through the bushes.

  I chased after them. I wasn't the fastest runner but I was determined. Whoever had been in the princess' room would be discovered. I leapt from the grass and landed on the mysterious stranger. The person let out a squeak and wrestled with me as I tried to take his hood off. But as I straddled him I realized he was much too small to be a man. I ripped the hood free and gasped.

  "You!" We both said in unison. Princess Arabella stared up at me in shock.

  "What are you doing?"

  "I could be asking you the same thing,” I said with
a smirk. "You aren't sneaking out to come to my estate are you?"

  She lifted an eyebrow and pinched her lips together.

  "Are you insane?" I asked.

  "You're the one on top of me. You must have a death wish." Her voice was pinched. I rose off of her and helped her out of the grass. We had managed to make it a good distance into the gardens. I was honestly surprised.

  "Who was that you were arguing with?" I asked. Something must have happened for her to be fleeing in disguise and a bag of belongings.

  "Why does it matter to you? What are you doing out here anyway?" Her full lips pulled down into a frown.

  "I was waiting for you to throw a shoe." I grinned at her. She didn't think I was very funny.

  Her face pulled into a scowl. "My father wants me to marry Prince Richard. He's punishing me."

  "Why would he do such a thing?" I asked. Didn't parents want what was best for their children?

  "Because I made a spectacle with my dress." She huffed.

  "I thought you looked incredible. I didn't see anything wrong with it."

  She laughed. "Of course not. But what if your sister was wearing it?" She had a point there.

  My face twisted in horror. "Okay, I can see that being an issue. I probably wouldn't be very happy if my daughter were to shock an entire room of men like that. But if it makes you happy then that is your business. How old are you now?"

  "Twenty." She rolled her eyes. "Still a child and still defying the crown."

  "Where are you going?" There was a tad bit of amusement in my voice. She had no idea what she would do once she got past the wall. If she could. They had guards posted all day and all night. I was surprised we hadn't been caught yet. We were close to the labyrinth so that could have had something to do with it.

  "Princess?"

  Her blue eyes found mine. ”Don't call me that. I hate it more than I hate the castle."

  "What would you like me to call you then?" I asked.

  "Ara." Her voice sounded so defeated. "I'm going to get out of this place. I am going to run away. I don't know."

  "Hey! Who goes there!" A voice shouted in the distance.

  "If you are caught they will throw you in the dungeon." Ara looked at me with wild eyes.

  "There is an iron grate under the wall. It's on the other side of the labyrinth. You'll find it and you'll be able to find your way home." "I'm not in trouble here,” I said trying to reason with her.

  ”You will be if they think we are trying to run away together! You have to go now!" She shoved my chest.

  "Promise me you won't run away." She gave me sad eyes but didn't reply. I slipped through the bushes inside of the labyrinth as the guard shined his light on Ara.

  "What are you doing out here, Princess?" The guard asked. I pressed myself to the ground and hoped he couldn't see me through the leaves. I didn't think he would look anywhere else now.

  "I was going for a walk." The guard looked around uncomfortably.

  "I think I should get you back inside. It's not a good night to be out here alone. We have too many guests staying in the castle." She nodded her head and pulled her cloak back over her hair. She looked back at me one last time before they disappeared.

  Ten

  Arabella

  It took me four hours to escape. As great as Alister was and as hot as he made me feel, he had botched up my plan to leave. I crept to the rusted grate and pulled it away from the stream. I had packed accordingly and my boots splashed in the water as I crouched under the wall. I could barely fit under here and I wondered how Alister had faired getting out. There were large footprints in the mud so it would seem that he didn't have any issues with it. I also knew that if they sent out the dogs and a search party they would find this hatch. They would see both of our footprints. I needed them to think this was a singular endeavor. They couldn't question Alister.

  I leaned over and got my hands dirty. I would protect him from my family's spite if it was the last thing I did. I managed to make his footprints look less like footprints than before but I had to be careful. There were so many of them. I had to stoop down on my hands and knees anyway to get out of this prison. I made sure my cloak dragged through every print. The dogs would sniff me out, but they wouldn't find Alister. I was sure he was long gone by now. A touch of guilt rushed through my chest. I would never see him again. I continued to crawl until I was outside of the keep. I pressed my back against the stone and waited for the guards to turn the other way. I had always thought the village was closer to the castle. How naive I had been. There was a massive wall around the entire kingdom. It wrapped around the castle and met up all the way to the fields that fed us. But there were miles in between the castle and the people.

  A brisk wind pulled the hood of my cloak down. I yanked it back over my hair and closed my eyes. It was the middle of the night, no one with good intentions would be out at this hour. It meant I needed to keep my wits about me and move onward. When I finally came upon the village it was dead. There was no movement except the shadows of the night. Chills raced up my arms. I rubbed my hands up and down them to try to calm myself. I had picked the wrong time to look for my family. I was tired and now hungry. I wished I hadn't skipped dinner but eating in front of guests was frowned upon. We had to socialize. We had to constantly entertain. It was the only way about it. I stuck to the shadows as I tiptoed around the town but alas, I knew I was terrible at sneaking. But I had gotten this far, hadn't I? I spotted a barn tucked on the other side of the town and offered up a prayer that I would be able to find rest there. There were too many noises in the little barn. I had curled up in a hay bale but sleep hadn't come.

  I had just laid there, still as I could be until the rooster crowed. Even before the rooster had called out there had been bustling activity in the town. I figured it would be too early to try to venture out of my spot. I tugged on my trousers and the too big tunic. I looked like I had a night of fun in the hay, rather than running away. I didn't mind. I would have rathered that over someone assuming I was the princess. I needed to stay as invisible as I could. They would recognize an outsider, this village wasn't big enough for me to completely disappear in. Time wasn't on my side though. In a few hours, Beatrice and Daphne would find me missing and they would sound the call. The guards would search the palace first before they ventured out here in the village. I had only a few hours to find my family and seek refuge.

  I crept from the barn and stumbled over a child. "Miss, you all right, there?" He frowned at me as I shook the fright from myself.

  "Yes of course." I whispered. "I was lost."

  He eyed my clothing and shook his head. His cheeks turned pink before he said, "And I was born yesterday."

  I rolled my eyes and pushed past him. The last thing anyone would think about was a woman that had been found wearing boys' clothes, stumbling out of a barn. Stranger things had happened. I hoped. I had read enough novels that I prayed I had enough experience from that alone. A baker held out his freshly baked breads and a lady tried to peddle flowers. A few people shouted at each other at the front of a blacksmith's shop and children were swarming everywhere. A little girl hid herself in my cloak and I felt uneasy. I didn't know what to do around all these little people. I shooed her away from my legs and looked at all of the faces around me. Surely my mother's step-family would recognize me? I looked similar to my mother. But everyone passed me by without a second glance. I was invisible enough, for now.

  I took a few coins from my pocket and bought a sugar roll. I couldn't waste all of my money, in case I needed to stay in the Inn, but my stomach was growling and I was growing impatient. Was everything really this hard? The square started to die down and with it went my hope. There was also a small amount of fear that coursed through me. If Alister spotted me, everything would be over. I pushed through the door to the tavern and breathed in the scent of Ale and sweat. It made me smile. I didn't know why maybe it was the feeling that for the first time I was experiencing something diffe
rent. I sat at the bar and watched the server across the room.

  She cocked a dark brow at me. "A bit early for a drink, don't ya think, lass?"

  "I don't judge you, don't pass judgment on me." I said curtly.

  "You must not be from around here." She wiped a rag across the tabletop but she didn't take her light eyes off of me. I shook my head.

  "I'm not. It's chilly outside and I smelled something delicious cooking from your kitchens." The woman brushed her dark hair from her face. She had a thick scar stretched from the top of her forehead down to her chin. It sliced through her eyebrow and somehow missed her eye. She put her hand on her hip.

  "It's not going to be cheap." I had figured as much. She didn't look like she missed a detail. She knew from my expensive cloak and immaculate hair that I wasn't just a passing stranger. Her expression said it all. My fingers bit into the coppers in the bottoms of my pockets. I pulled five free and they clinked against the bar as I set them in front of her. She raised her eyebrows.

  "Two would suffice." I left three. "What has brought you to our kingdom, my lady?" The woman pressed her hip into the counter.

  "I am in search of some family I lost contact with long ago." I started slow. I would possibly continue after she brought me the food I had paid for. I left it at that and gave her a look. I wasn't going to wait for very long.

  "You must be terribly hungry. I will return in a moment." The woman disappeared. I could hear voices in the other room but I couldn't make out their words. I had no doubt that they were discussing me. When the barkeep returned she had a tight smile on her lips. She placed a covered pie in front of me and I about devoured the whole thing right there. It looked nothing like what we were served at the castle. The edges of the pie were fashioned in a messy way and some of the juices had bubbled through the top of the pastry. My stomach rumbled. I hid my face as I pulled off the side of the flaky crust and plopped it in my mouth. It was like nothing I had ever tasted before. It was rich and warmed my belly. It was the perfect way to start my day. Especially since I had no idea how far I would travel.