Ashes to Ashes

by A Lonergan

  * * *

  I propped myself up on the pillow and watched Ara sleep. She had asked me to stay and talk with her. She insisted it was because we had lost so much time but I wondered if the dark scared her. I had heard her screams in the darkness for a few days after she had settled in. Her crying would go deep into the night sometimes too. I had never felt like I could ask her about it and I still didn’t know if I should. I brushed her clean hair from her forehead and frowned at the scar.

  The mark belonged and yet, it didn’t. It was proof that she had survived a lot, but it was also so misplaced on her beautiful skin. I leaned forward and kissed it. There was nothing I could do to keep my hands off of her. Now that I had her, I intended on keeping it that way. Especially after everything she had been through. My mind replayed the memory on repeat of her falling out of the cottage. Now that I knew it was her, it made it that much worse. Nausea rolled in my core as the memory fought its way to my mind once again.

  I shook my head and fought the darkness that threatened my mind. How had I been so dense? How had I not known? She was being held captive by Tremaine’s daughters, Cinderella’s stepsisters. I felt like an idiot. Not that it was entirely my fault. Everyone assumed the place was abandoned and no one knew they actually lived there. But when I had seen the sisters go there, I should have dug more.

  “Hey,” Ara’s whisper pulled me from my thoughts. She was blinking her baby blues trying to get the room to focus.

  “Are you okay?” I asked. She had been sound asleep. Had I done something to wake her?

  “Yes, are you though?” She frowned and sat up. The blankets pooled around her waist and she pushed her hair from her eyes.

  I shrugged. “Now that I know who you are, I think its harder on me. I have been thinking about that night that I found you.”

  Her face softened in the dim lighting. “Are you beating yourself up?”

  I snickered then sobered up quickly. “Yes and no. I just can’t stop thinking about what happened in there.”

  “There is nothing to beat yourself up over. You found me when it counted.” She patted my hand and laid her head on the pillow. Her eyes remained open but I could tell she was still sleepy and wondered how long she would manage to stay awake.

  “What happened after we parted that night?” I couldn’t help but ask. I needed to know.

  But then her face crumpled and I wanted to take the question back. She blinked up at the ceiling and I swore my heart shattered in my chest. “You will think I am a bigger brat than what you thought before. You will never look at me the same and a relationship between us will be impossible.”

  I shook my head. “I won’t judge you. I want to understand.”

  “I don’t think you know what you’re asking.” Her eyes no longer looked tired, but her soul still looked beaten down.

  Forty

  Arabella

  Alister was asking the impossible from me. How could I tell him that I was the reason everything had gone to hell? How could I be the one to break the news that I was the reason his family was in danger?

  I clutched the blankets between my hands and looked at anything but him. His warm brown eyes would have me spilling my guts if I wasn’t careful. “Before I tell you this, you have to know that I plan on taking the kingdom back. Maybe that will help redeem me.”

  His face was unreadable as he waited for me to tell him the truth.

  “That night I ran away. I couldn’t promise you anything because my heart had been in love long before you came along.” His face fell at my words, but I continued on. “My heart was in love with freedom. My heart longed for adventure and to know what I had been missing out on my entire life. My heart found itself broken and beaten down because of how naive it was.” A tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. “I didn’t listen. I thought my parents were simply cruel for the way they had acted my whole life. Now I know they were justified in their actions, partly.”

  “What do you mean partly?” he interrupted.

  “Partly because I wish they would have shared information with me instead of keeping me in the dark. I wish they would have expressed their fears instead of keeping them from me. I rebelled because I thought they hated me. I pushed and pulled so hard because I thought they wanted to see me wilt, not flourish.” I bit my lip. “I thought they were the evil ones. So I ran to the family that had been kept from me, in hopes that they were the good ones.”

  Alister’s mouth turned into a frown and his lips trembled. “I think I know where this is headed.”

  I nodded my head and looked at the blanket between us. “They used me for the information they needed then Tremaine ran to the castle. I betrayed my family. I am the reason my parents are dead. I am the one that destroyed this kingdom.” Rage ignited in my chest as the words left my lips. “But I promise, she will pay for what she did to me and her daughters. I won’t rest until I see my people thriving again.”

  Alister did the complete opposite of what I had expected him to do. He grabbed my hand in his and yanked me across the bed to him. His arms wrapped around me and I turned into a weeping mess right there.

  “I’m sorry,” I sobbed.

  “For what?” He had the audacity to chuckle at the top of my head.

  “For ruining your life like this. You would still be living in your own manor and your family would be able to be with you if it weren’t for me.”

  He pushed me away to arm’s length and his brown eyes searched my face. “This is how I would prefer it. Not with you getting hurt, but with you ending up here with me. If you hadn’t left that night, you would probably be married off by now and I would still be at the end of all your torment. Shoes, books and possibly other things. I think this worked out best.”

  “I think you’re delusional.” I swatted his hands.

  “Probably because of all the shoes you threw at me.” He laughed as I tried to shove him off of the bed.

  Alister grabbed my elbows and took me down with him to the floor. He rolled over onto me and grinned. “Look who’s the loser now.”

  All I could do was stare at him in wonder. The warmth of his body seeped through the thin fabric on my nighty and I couldn’t breathe. He tucked my hair behind my ear and bent down to kiss my cheek. The scarred cheek that I didn’t know if I loved or hated. It showed what I had endured, but it also hardened me. I wasn’t the same, soft, bratty girl I had once been.

  His lips then brushed the corner of my mouth and I felt myself melt. Right there on the floor, underneath him, I couldn’t seem to find myself. I didn’t know where I ended and where I began but all that mattered was the fact that his lips had finally met mine.

  Forty-One

  Arabella

  When I awoke, Alister was nowhere to be found. I pulled my nightclothes off and pulled some britches and a light blue tunic on. I followed my nose down the hall to the kitchen. Little John was hard at work behind the stove and most of the men were in the dining area already pigging out. Little John gave me a smile.

  “How ya doin, honey?” He handed me a plate that was stacked high with pancakes.

  I eyed the food with hunger and surprise. There was no way I could eat that much. “Do you really think I can eat that much?”

  Little John laughed. “Yes, I do. Today is going to be your first mission. You need the energy, Princess.”

  I winced. I hadn’t been ready for him to use my title. I didn’t know why I was surprised though. It was bound to happen. These men had an honor code and they would abide by it no matter what, at least that was what they had shown in the little time I had known them. A few of the men scooted around to let me sit but I didn’t pay attention. My mind was somewhere else. Today was my first mission. Anxiety coursed through my veins. No wonder Alister was nowhere to be found. He hadn’t been out with the guys in a few weeks.

  I tried to eat as much as I could but when I started to get full, I stopped. I needed the energy, but I couldn’t be sluggish. I pushed my plate away from
me and looked around. Everyone was staring at me, their food had gone untouched.

  I quirked an eyebrow. “What?”

  “We have never been in the presence of royalty before.” One of the men said. He had a long beard that touched his chest and his eyes were lighter than mine.

  I smiled. “I can promise you, it isn’t that special.”

  Another piped up. “I beg to differ. You are just as beautiful as the bards say.”

  I frowned but couldn’t help but laugh. “The bards?”

  “That’s enough,” Alister said from the doorway behind me. His tone was light but firm. For whatever reason, he didn’t want me to hear what the men were going to say.

  I rolled my eyes. My interest was piqued now. “What bards?”

  “You really shouldn’t be entertaining bar talk,” Alister said as he came around the table and squashed between two of his men across from me.

  I touched my scar tenderly and tried to remind him that I was no longer the lady I had once been. “I have changed. I also haven’t seen the palace walls in what seems like forever. I’m sure it will be fine for me to hear what the people in the taverns say.”

  Alister frowned but didn’t stop his men from piping in. The one on Alister’s left bowed his head. “I’m Flick, and the bards have never spoken ill of you. In fact, it will probably flatter you. Though, in none of the songs did they mention your scar.”

  My face fell. “That’s because the last time anyone saw me and knew who I was, I didn’t have a scar.”

  Alister clenched his jaw. “This is why I didn’t want to have this conversation. The men here have honor but they have no manners. They don’t know when enough is enough.”

  “That’s okay,” I tried to give the men a reassuring smile. “I want to know my people. Even the ones that don’t know what its like to be in the presence of royalty. At the moment, I don’t know if you could even call me that. I have been stripped of everything. I might as well get used to this.”

  Little John stood at the end of the table and shook his head. “No, you won’t get used to anything. We are going to get you the crown back.”

  I wanted to believe him. I wanted to have the hope but I still hadn’t seen the castle yet. There was no telling how bad it was.

  Forty-Two

  Alister

  Ara slid down the pole in the tree’s base and gave me a snarky grin when she landed in a crouch. Her hood was already on and all of the throwing knives were strapped to her legs. She no longer looked like a princess, no, she looked like an assassin. Her mask wasn’t over her face yet and I could see her eyes sparkling at me mischievously in the shadow of the hood.

  The leather was like a second skin on her body. She took her time prowling around me as she sized me up. I laughed, “Don’t you dare get too confident on me now.”

  She shook her head. “Never.”

  “I recall a woman that tried to seduce me from her window with her ankles.” I waggled my eyebrows at her.

  Her eyes softened. “What would my parents say now?”

  “They would lock you up again,” I snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her flush to my chest. I tucked an escaped tendril of hair back into her hood and planted a kiss on her lips. “But I would be okay with that as long as I can be locked up beside you.”

  “There’s a very slim chance of that.” She nudged me with her elbow and all the rest of my troop came barreling down.

  They noticed us locked in an embrace and frowned. Little John was the only one that smirked. “Before everything happened, I was invited to a dinner with Arabella and her family, I was one of her marriage prospects.”

  Flick shook his head as he pulled his hood on. “Let me guess, she’s the one you have been searching for.”

  I nodded. “Yes, she’s the reason all of this happened. She’s the reason I have all of you.”

  “What are you going to do when the crown is back in your hands?” Little John asked Ara.

  She bit her lip. “I don’t know yet. I wish I had a plan, but I want to know my people and I think that’s the best start.”

  “No better time than the present right?” I asked as I took her gloved hand in mine.

  She nodded and we were off.

  Forty-Three

  Arabella

  All the training I thought I had. All the training I thought I needed meant nothing as I was running through the trees. Sweat dripped down my face but I pushed on. My body sagged but I did my best to hold my limbs steady. How these men did it, I didn’t know. We were still stalking the carriage and my arms felt like they were on fire. I was well past the ‘burn’ my trainer had always spoken about at the castle. I had never felt this before. I was sure, that when all of this was done, I was going to die.

  Adding the leather on top of it all made it worse. I silently cursed every single man around me, but I wouldn’t let them best me. I was determined to keep up. No matter what it took or what it did to me. I was going to keep going. I would see to the end of this. But the carriage we were tracking ended up going straight to the castle. The trees thinned out and we had to drop to the ground. My legs shook as I made impact with the dirt and I was worried I was going to pass out. How did these men do this without water? Or maybe they had water and I was the dumb one.

  All thoughts of water and my pained body left my mind as I realized what I was facing. The border around the castle was on fire. There was no wall, it was merely rubble scattered about the grounds and in it’s place was a bright red flame. The flames licked and leaped into the air around the castle. Just as the carriage passed through the fiery mass, I noticed the guards on the front. My stomach churned. Nothing prepared me for this. Nothing could have. They were dead. They were undead, like some nightmarish creatures from one of the many books I had read. I blinked a few times, praying I was just seeing things. That I was the delusional one.

  The flames engulfed the carriage and I could no longer see them. The magical flames rose up high and I could just barely make out the castle above them. There was no seeing through the inferno. My throat closed up and tears leaked from my eyes. The mission I had thought was possible, suddenly became impossible. I wiped at my eyes and Alister looked at me with concern. There was no speaking out here, especially this close to the castle, my home. My lips trembled but I could do this. Whatever seemed impossible, would no longer be. I was going to take out Tremaine like I had promised myself countless times. I was going to avenge my parents. I was going to avenge my people. I was going to do whatever it took too.

  Sore body be damned.

  * * *

  The thought of a warm bath was the only thing that got me back to the treehouse. I had thought the journey to the castle was hard, but the way back was much worse. My legs shook and my breathing was labored but somehow, by the grace of anything divine, I had kept up with the rest of the men. They slapped me on the back when we made it back into the sleeping quarters. After every single celebratory smack, I thought for sure I would go through the floor but I remained standing. Alister tried to catch my eye but no promise of romance or kisses could talk me out of the bath I desperately wanted and needed. I gave him a regretful smile and closed the door in his face.

  My muscles shook as I lowered myself into the giant tub and turned the water on. I could hear the men hooping and hollering as they piled into the kitchen but I didn’t care. That meant more hot water for me. I sighed as the steaming water pooled around my sore, shaking body. The water was entirely too hot but I was beyond the point of caring. My hair was matted to my forehead and stunk far worse than it had when I hadn’t washed it in months.

  There was a part of me that was disappointed that we hadn’t seen any action, but I could see it in Alister’s body that he had been relieved. I had a feeling that he wasn’t ready for me to be out there fighting just yet. And that was okay, but I wanted some kind of action. I wanted to get my anger out in some way and kissing didn’t do it in the right way. Although, kissing Alister was te
n kinds of magical. I dumped the entire bottle of his soap in the tub and closed my eyes. The smell of him was divine. It wrapped around me in the steam and I felt like I was home. I knew the castle was where I needed to be, but what if I could never get back? What if I couldn’t avenge my people? I knew that I would be content living here with Alister and making a life for us. It wasn’t ideal but I would do what I could for this place and for the people even if it meant I never got to step foot behind the walls that my ancestors built again.

  A knock on the door made me realize that the water was starting to get cold and my mouth was dry. My stomach let out a loud grumble to remind me that it needed sustenance too.

  “Yeah?” I called out.

  “I put some clothes on the bed for you. Gifts from Gus Gus and Jack Jack.” Alister said through the door.

  I felt myself fill with giddiness again. More clothes. I hoped they were soft like the others.

  Forty-Four

  Alister

  Dinner wasn’t anything special, though, I wished that I could have made it that way for Ara every single night. The mice had made her a special dress. They had argued with me for a while about how she wouldn’t want to put on pants after running through the woods. Her legs would be sore and so would the rest of her body. They said she would need something light and feminine. I wished I had been the one to think of that.