‘Zack, I would go out for a bit. If something appears, mind-link me.’ I informed my beta that I am leaving the pack land. ‘They lost her, didn’t they?’ He asked me back. He knew I appointed guardians to her and the only reason for me to go out on my own here is only because of her. I guess my best buddy just knows me too well. ‘Your mate is really something man, I have to give you that. Go check on her and I would take care of the things here.’ He told me, knowing what is going on without even answering his question. ‘Thanks man.’ I told him before I ran off. It was easier to run in my human form just in case I would run into her somewhere.
It took me several minutes to get to her cabin but I didn’t smell her anywhere close except the faded scent from the morning before she left. This was strange. I went up to the door and slightly knocked on the door. “Rei? It is me Calen. Are you there?” I tried to call. For what I know there is a basement she is maybe there but that would not explain why there is no new scent at all. I would have to go track her down myself if I would have to. ‘Relax, she is alright. And they are there. Maat connected to me.’ Thoth told me and I registered a new herb smell. It is pretty strong. Still don’t smell her wolf but now I at least know there is someone there.
I heard thud steps on the floor as she was walking towards the door. “Good evening Calen.” Her soft cute voice welcomed me. “What brings you here?” She asked. Oh, I didn’t think about that at all. Why did I come? To see if she is okay. But then how am I going to explain that in the first place. Sh*t, I should have thought more about this. ‘This is what you get when you rush things without preparation and instead of thinking it through during the time you had you are just thinking about seeing her face.’ Thoth was mocking me. Not like he did lie or something, I really did spend the running time thinking about her but he enjoyed the thoughts as well.
“Ehm,” I didn’t know what to say. “I came to apologize.” I started but she interrupted me saying that there was nothing to apologize for. Is it possible that she didn’t know that they were following her? But then why did she alter her scent to get away this way if there was no reason or feeling of threat.
“May I come in please?” I asked her and saw that she is hesitant to let me in which just fed my suspicion that she is thinking I sent them to keep track of her. Damn, I hope I didn’t s*rew up with her. In the end, she let me in and sat me down in the kitchen. I was freaking out but still tried to keep my posture, not letting her know how nervous I was. I would kill those idiots I swear. They messed up.
“Tea?” She asked me and thanked her for that. “As I said I should apologize. Since my men lost you, I assume you found them.” I started to explain and she didn’t even move to face me. I guess this was really bad. Damn it. Damn it. I was really angry at them and at the same time really nervous because of her. ‘Breathe.’ Thoth tried to calm me down. It didn’t help much. “I didn’t mean to stalk you or something. I was afraid that something might happen to you here alone. No one knows when rogues might come and not everyone is like you.” I tried to explain to her my motives to assign guards to her.
“I know. I heard their conversation before they ran away.” Like what? Did I just hear her correctly? That would mean she had to be right beside them or at least not so far if she heard their conversation.
“They swore they lost your scent yet you are claiming to hear their conversation which means you had to be close. You did something similar to what you did in my pack, didn’t you?” I asked. I remember she did something on my pack land which made others think she is human or at least not the person who she is. It looked like she changed her scent in case that someone might remember or recognize it. It felt really strange. If she really could alter her scent, I would need to train with her to make sure, she is at least doing that correctly. Masking herself this way in the land of a pack at the same time she knew that I would tell my people she is a wolf was strange. Maybe it was the mistake of not being trained. We would see about that.
“Tell me. Why do you care about my well-being, my thoughts about you and everything and I might consider answering your question?” She was completely surprised by this demand. ‘Should I tell her she is our mate?’ I asked my wolf. I was sure he would like that but at the same, I hoped he would understand what that would mean. I wasn’t sure she was ready to accept a mate at this moment. We still didn’t gain her trust. She was looking right into my eyes and was once again drawn inside those gold orbs of hers. ‘I don’t know. I want to tell her but at the same time, I am not sure it is a good time. Maat talks to me so the mate bond is here and sure she feels the slight pull but until December she would not feel the bond fully.’ Thoth told me. She was still looking at me waiting for my reaction. ‘Maybe we should tell her and let her decide. You don’t know, maybe she would give us the chance to prove ourselves to her.’ I suggested and Thoth was actually thinking about this option. It sounded fair to me. I already knew we are mates and keeping it from her half-year could make her angry in the end instead of bringing her closer to us. Honestly, I felt lost. I didn’t know which way I should choose.
‘Let’s tell her.’ Thoth said and for once I would simply follow his advice. I took a deep breath trying to take all my courage for what I am gonna say next.
“I do care for you because-,” My voice cracked. I felt so nervous, anxious, depressed, lost, confused is there any other negative emotions because I was pretty sure I was in mess just because of the fear to lose this beautiful short cute creature standing right in front of me staring at me with those deer golden eyes waiting for me to say what I want to say. ‘Man up,’ Thoth encouraged me.
“I do care for you because you are my mate. I do care for you because you are the most beautiful wolf I ever saw in my whole life and I do care for you because the only thing I could think about is you since I first saw two weeks ago over there in the water.” I told her and was expecting to shout or maybe her kicking me out, actually I was expecting anything but I got the silence instead. ‘Did we mess up?’ I spoke to my wolf. ‘If we did it is your fault.’ He told me. So much for his support thou.
She stood there frozen. The sparks disappeared from her eyes and the expression was blank. I guess she is confronting her wolf now since Maat already had to know.
“I am sorry to keep you waiting.” She apologized after a few very long minutes. She placed the tea in front of me and sat opposite to me. “I see. You know I am not eighteen yet so I couldn’t feel the pull but at least now I understand why I felt so obsessed by you too.” She spoke very calmly which surprised me. “My wolf Maat confirmed what you said so I guess you didn’t lie about that so now it is my turn then. The reason why I was able to stay close to your men without them to know is that I could remove my scent completely and alter my heartbeat also.” She explained to me that her voice was calm. But I could see her hands slightly trembling. Despite feeling vulnerable she decided to trust the bond we have and tell me her secret. The moment she finished the explanation I felt the emptiness in the room. I could see her in front of me but at the same time, I didn’t feel her presence. It was like she was not there at all. I gasped shocked.
Then her scent changed. I felt deer instead of her, even the heart rate change to simulate the animal. ‘How is this possible?’ I asked myself knowing that Thoth could hear it. ‘She is special, really special. Maat is old, much older than I am which doesn’t make sense.’ Even Thoth was surprised. For the wolves is bond different. The first time the wolf is born they are given the mates. They live several lives and always with the same mate.
I looked at her confused and disoriented. She manipulated the most important sense the wolves have. At least I don’t need to worry about her safety. I am sure she could protect herself pretty well.
“Do you have any more abilities?” I asked her when her scent went back to normal. And when I mean back to normal, I mean her original lavender-lilac smell which calmed me. “I guess one secret for today is more than enough. Thank you for telling me
that we are mates.” I couldn’t say her voice was cold but honestly, I was expecting a little bit warmer talk. I guess she felt my disappointment because the same moment her expression changed also into a painful one. Is she going to reject me?
“You are disappointed.” She stated. “I am sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hurt you, it is just-,” She paused or maybe she didn’t know what to say. “It is just that you are afraid.” I finished for her. I guessed and to my surprise, I guessed right since she nodded. “You like me,” I said and she nodded again. “You are afraid that if you let me in, you would lose me like you lost your pack and family,” I said slowly and she nodded again. This time a straight tear fell down her cheeks. I leaned closer to her and wiped the tear with my finger. “I am afraid to lose you as well. I was waiting for you for eight years. I lost my family the same as you did. I partly understand your pain and your feelings yet I still end up with the other half of my family. Compared to you I was lucky and knowing that I almost lost you forever without even knowing you terrifies me. I understand that you are here hiding. I would not ask you about your pack, about your past until you would want to talk about it yourself. All I ask now is to give me this half-year till your birthday so I could show you that I could protect you and take care of you.” I told her which brought more tears from her sad eyes when she nodded.
“Please don’t cry. I would not go anywhere and you would not lose me ever.” I said and she shook her head. “I might bring death to your pack.” She said as the hot tears were falling down her cheeks. I didn’t care if she brought the grim reaper himself, we would fight him for her. We would train and whatever or whoever would come to threaten her we would deal with them. No one would harm my little mate and I mean no one. ‘Our mate bro. No one would harm our mate.’ Thoth corrected me and I nodded to him. I was glad we were on the same both with this.
Chapter 14
REI’S POV:
‘Is it true?’ I asked Maat the moment word mate slipped out from his lips. ‘Yes.’ She confirmed for me. I didn’t know what I should think. Should I be happy? I guess I should be more worried. If we are mates that means he would feel responsible for and protect me and the guy who goes after me would kill him eventually. ‘Did you know it?’ I asked her to remember the past two weeks of her teasing and playing with my dreams. Now it was actually making all sense. The reason why I felt his scent so attractive and my mind was so obsessed with him. ‘Yes, I did.’ She told me which actually made a stinging pain in my heart. Why didn't she tell me about that? We are like sisters yet she kept this from me.
‘That’s why you wanted me to ask him? Did you expect him to answer it like that?’ Another question dropped on her head and she confirmed to me. ‘I didn’t tell you because you spend too long alone and worried. I know your feelings and fears. I needed him to get firstly deeper under your skin. At this moment you don’t feel the bond so strong or the pull so if I would tell you directly you would run.’ Maat explained to me and to be honest she was right. If I knew from the beginning that this guy is my mate, I would most likely run away the first moment I smelled him in the city. I didn't even know if I wanted a mate. ‘Yes, you want a mate.’ Maat told me but I was not so sure. ‘You know we are dangerous. He would get hurt because of us.’ I argued back. I don’t want anyone else to die because of who we are, because of what we are. I don’t know for how long did I have this private conversation with Maat but given his nervous look I guess for a pretty long time. I tried to calm myself a little bit to sound normal.
“I am sorry to keep you waiting,” I said, taking two cups with the tea and placing one for me and one for him. “I see. You know I am not eighteen yet so I couldn’t feel the pull but at least now I understand why I felt so obsessed by you too.” I explained to him what Maat told me about the pull. Anyway, I think his wolf already told him that. I tried to sound as calm as possible because I was afraid that any of my insecurities and overwhelmed emotions would get out and I was afraid of what that broken dam of feelings might bring. “My wolf Maat confirmed what you said so I guess you didn’t lie about that so now it is my turn then. The reason why I was able to stay close to your men without them to know is that I could remove my scent completely and alter my heartbeat also.” I tried to explain to him the part of the abilities he asked about and hoped that he would not think I am some kind of creep with abilities that has nothing to do with the werewolves. To my surprise, he seemed amazed and more curious than a few minutes ago.
He asked me about more of my abilities but I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell him everything just because we just opened the first door to know each other. Honesty I am not so sure about my own other powers since we are still not matured. Maat still needs some time to get the rest of her powers which means our powers.
“Thank you for telling me that we are mates,” I said at the end and I guess it came out more harshly and cold than I wanted. His expression was painful to watch. I could read the pain and disappointment out just from his look. ‘Good job.’ Maat commented. ‘I am sorry I didn’t want to hurt him or something.’ I argued with her. She said she knew how I feel and everything yet now she is angry at me for it? ‘Apologize to him and explain please.’ She told me.
“You are disappointed,” I commented on his look. “I am sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hurt you, it is just-,”
“It is just that you are afraid.” He finished and for me I nodded. He was right. I was afraid. I was actually terrified.
“You like me.” He said not asking and I nodded again. I did like him. He was nice and considerate. He respected my own space since the first moment they came to this location. How I could not like him. The tears already started to threaten to fall down.
“You are afraid that if you let me in, you would lose me like you lost your pack and family,” I nodded again and this time I felt one hot tear escape from my eyes. How did he read me so well? I didn’t know the answer to this question and at the same moment, it terrified me that already after such a short time I was like an open book for him. Was that the bond between us? I asked myself. ‘This is not the bond my dear.’ Maat replied to me. I felt his warm hand lightly brushing over my cheek as he wiped out the tear that escaped my eyes.
“I am afraid to lose you as well. I was waiting for you for eight years. I lost my family the same as you did. I partly understand your pain and your feelings yet I still end up with the other half of my family. Compared to you I was lucky and knowing that I almost lost you forever without even knowing you terrifies me. I understand that you are here hiding. I would not ask you about your pack, about your past until you would want to talk about it yourself. All I ask now is to give me this half-year till your birthday so I could show you that I could protect you and take care of you.” His words broke me completely. I just stood there giving him one last nod with my view fully blurred to the tears that were now flowing down uncontrollably. He was like me. Partly broken inside but still, he kept going. He still kept hoping. I was so pathetic. How could I have such an amazing person beside me I didn’t know but I was grateful for Moon Goddess to give me a mate so understanding and considerate. The emotions I tried to keep closed and locked deep inside for the last six years were now open. The pain I felt from the loss of my parents, my family, and friends was now pouring out.
“Please don’t cry. I would not go anywhere and you would not lose me ever.” He asked me but I shook my head. I would hurt him. I would bring misfortune to his pack. “I might bring death to your pack,” I replied in between my sobs as more tears were falling down. I didn’t want to be the reason for another of his losses. I didn’t want him to get hurt because of me.
His eyes held strange strength which I didn’t know from her he was taking. My vision was still partly blurry from the tears but I felt his hands warmly wrapping around me as he held me close. I forgot how the hugs feel. Rosie hugged me sometimes before I left especially before the winter but it never felt the same as the hug, he was giving m
e now. I felt so safe and protected. I buried my face into his shirt taking in his scent with each of my breaths. I don’t know how long he left me to stay like that but he was sure to keep me as close as possible until the last sob ceased and the last tear dried.
We just stood there on the same spot since he pulled me up from my chair to press me on his chest. When I finally stopped crying, he pulled me a little away so he could see into my face. Not like I appreciated him to see me with my probably completely swollen and red eyes not to mention my face itself. “No matter what would happen I would always stay by your side. I could promise you that.” He told me to kiss the top of my head. I wanted to stay like that forever. I didn’t know I missed someone else in my life until this man standing right in front of me with his hands wrapped around me firmly showed in my city. I have to say thank you to Moon Goddess later for it.
“Thank you,” I replied to him once I was sure my voice was steady. I didn’t want any more tears to fall down and honestly, I felt a little awkward. What should I do now? ‘You do nothing. Just relax and leave for him. Our mates would take care of everything.’ Maat assured me. Sometimes I was really so curious from where she takes all this confidence and trust.
New Beginning : A Beautiful Ethereal Creature (Spirit Wolf Book #1) Page 8