“I guess we should make some arrangements.” He started still keeping me close. “First, I don’t like you to stay here alone. It is a really beautiful place and I like it but I don’t want you to stay here alone. For now, you would go with me to my pack. Tomorrow I would send Zack here to check the place if we could make some adjustments to make it slightly bigger and when you would want to stay here there would always be someone with you. You couldn’t mind-link me now or any of my warriors so I would feel better that there is always someone with you. If you don’t mind.’ He spoke and I wanted to say something back as I opened my mouth but closed it again. I realized I have no arguments. He still respected that this is my place and he is not pushing himself on me or asking me to let him stay. I guess he understood there is only one bedroom so the adjustment he was talking about would be another bedroom. Also, he is talking about someone not particularly about himself. So, in the end, I had nothing to argue about, and being his mate, I should respect his feelings the same as he does to me. “That I could do I guess.’ I replied not really sure.
“When you talk about someone you mean yourself?” I asked him as I wanted to know what he had in his mind exactly. “You are not eighteen and honestly I am already twenty-six. I would sure be happier to stay with you here by myself but till your birthday I don’t think it is appropriate for me to do so. We have some female warriors in the pack too so you could later choose anybody you want to stay here with you. I could guarantee they would not bother you. Well, if you still decide to come back to her in the first place anyway.” Now I saw him have a cocky smirk on his face. I assume he was trying to joke with me to lighten the mood and I welcomed that. More and more I started to be really amazed by this person especially for giving us time as he asked in the beginning.
“What if after my birthday I decide I don’t want you as my mate?” I asked him a little teasingly. “You would do that?” He looked at me with pure terror in his eyes which I knew he was pretending. From his cockiness, before I am sure he is pretty sure about himself, definitely much more than I am about myself.
“Well, I don’t believe you would since you already like me even without the pull itself, so once you start to feel our bond, I am sure you would be hanging around my neck the whole day.” He said jokingly with his smirk and I could say that he would definitely enjoy that.
“So, go please prepare the stuff you would need with you to stay in my place-,“ He stopped and corrected himself immediately: “I mean in my pack land. And we would move. Put it in the back and we would shift to wolves.” He said and I froze. I wasn’t sure I wanted to show him my wolf form yet. “Ehm, could we just run in our human forms?” I asked him nervously hoping that he would not ask me further and simply accept. He eyed me for a short time before he nodded without asking me.
“Thank you,” I said, taking one last warm hug from him before I ran up to my room to collect some of my casual clothes and cosmetics I was using. Honestly, I didn’t need many things, just clean clothes to change into and my bathing products. I registered the image of me in the mirror and despite my face being in a mess the first thing I noticed was my still black hair. ‘Maat?’ I called her. ‘I am here.’ She replied to me. ‘What we would do about our hair?’ I asked her unsure of what we should do. I wasn’t ready to show my silver hair to everyone. I was already unsure about my unnatural golden eyes in my human form but what they would think about my silver hair. ‘We could keep it. So, take some of your dyes so you could fix it once the color would start to fade away.’ Maat suggested I was speechless. I know she hated it when I colored my hair because if I shift with my black hair it is messing with her form. But I understood that she is now trying to make me feel comfortable. It was already enough that for the first time I would be sleeping in another place and on top of that with many people around. The thought itself made me both nervous and excited. I collected some of my dyes and headed back down to the kitchen where I left Calen.
“I am ready.” He looked at me and his eyes held questions which I didn’t understand. “Ehm, you would not remove the dye from your hair?” He asked me confused and curiously. I didn’t know how to react to this. “I-.” I opened my mouth to say something but no words were coming to my mind.
“If you feel comfortable with your black hair in my pack it is okay for me. It’s just I already told the Elders that you are a wolf with silver hair. They were okay with that and the pack members would be also. You don’t need to hide yourself in front of them.” He tried to comfort me which I appreciated but still didn’t feel comfortable to come there as a stranger, as a rogue and on top of that with gold eyes and silver hair. Some of them already saw me with the black one.
“I am not sure I would feel comfortable if they would be staring at me because of that or something. I think for now I would keep my black. Maybe later.” I tried to explain and even I could see that my voice was too confusing. I didn’t know how exactly I should explain myself. I felt comfortable with him but I didn’t know how I would feel myself around others. Others are not my mates.
“As you wish. For me it is more important that you feel comfortable around them.” He gave me one of his sweet smiles and assurance which was everything I needed at this moment. I was ready to go so he swiftly came in front of me to open the door. The fresh cold air welcomed us and I have to admit the excitement was now the strongest emotion I held inside my chest.
Chapter 15
REI’S POV:
We didn’t run for too long and the whole time he was slowing down his own pace so he could run right beside. I always thought that I am very fast when it comes to running but seeing him how easily he could actually outrun me I start to have doubts about my stamina, strength and speed. ‘You could always ask him to get training.’ Maat informed me and I was thinking that it is not such a bad idea. Maybe I could really ask him later to include me in their training. ‘Do you think that it would be bold to ask about this before we officially join the pack?’ I asked her back and noticed joy that was now radiating from Maat. What did I say to cause this change in her mood? I didn’t know. ‘Glad to hear that you are already implying that we would become the part of the pack.’ Maat brought the light into her current mood the moment she replied to me. I actually didn’t think about it this way. But I know what mate means and sure I am not that stupid to reject my mate so it is actually natural that I should become a part of his pack.
‘Well, sooner or later I think it would be inevitable. You know that I am just worried about their safety.’ I tried to explain to Maat and I know she knows about my feelings. She is feeling them through our connection. ‘I told you already before what happened was not your fault. He wants me and what I represent. I should be apologizing to you since you got me as your wolf, not the other way around. If someone is at fault then it would be me.’ Maat told me and I could hear the pain in her voice. She thought that it was her fault the same as I was thinking that it is mine. ‘We are one.’ I replied to her not sure if I would say anything else at this moment. I never blamed her and I would never put the blame on her. ‘Then don’t put the blame on yourself. You know you don’t need to say your thoughts to me. I could hear them either way.’ She told me. I think this would take time to accept, much more time than just six years, but at the same time, she was right. If we are one as I say then if I am to be blamed, same she does. But if I refuse to blame her, I should be blaming myself as well. I guess feelings s*cks.
I felt another presence on our left but Calen left it be so I assumed we were already on his territory and those were just one of his warriors who were guarding the borders. We came from another side than in the morning and I could see that on this side they still kept a lot of empty space before we finally reached the place where the first building started to slowly show their silhouettes in the woods. Once again, I could smell the freshly cut wood. The similar scent as of my mate which could calm me whenever. I heard voices nearby and he led me directly to them. “I asked them to prepa
re a small barbecue. I guess you haven't eaten anything since you came to your cabin.” I looked at him shyly because the moment we came close enough for me to smell the meat that was already on the fire my stomach grumbled like I didn’t eat for at least a year. “Yeah, I thought so.” He said laughing on my stomach. “Thank you,” I said again. I am not sure how many thank you I already told him today and I was sure that many more would still come.
“Are you really sure it is okay for me to go there? I am still rogue.” I asked him worried what they might think about him bringing me. Did he already tell them that I am his mate? I hope not because I am not sure I am prepared for the pressure that this information would bring to them and to me. I remember how the pack members were treating my mother as their Luna. “Don’t worry about that. Some of them already know you and I think it would be nice to get some new friends. Anyway, I am still here so if you start to feel uncomfortable just tell me and I would take you to your room. Is that alright like that?” He assured me and I could sense responsibility radiating from him altogether with the desire to protect. Reading his emotions makes me really calming down. Every single time he reacts to one of my insecurities or worries his body reacts to them so naturally. I was always able to read emotions and auras of the people around me but it never affected me the way he does.
“Alright, that sounds like a good plan then,” I replied and let him lead me to the place where the people were gathering. Already from the distance, I saw around fifteen persons. They were all sitting on the logs of three trees around the fireplace. In between two of those, a small grill was placed, if you could actually call that actual grill. It was hand made out of something I didn’t even recognize to hold the hot almost burned wood instead of charcoal or coil and the meat was placed on the part of the fence, at least I assumed it was supposed to be the part of the fence. “You didn’t buy the grill yet?” I asked turning my gaze to Calen and he grinned at me. “You noticed, huh?” He replied to me, leading me right to them.
“We are here.” He called them and everyone turned to our direction. “Welcome,” Sounded from a different direction and recognized the voice of Emily from the hospital and Zack’s. “Glad to have you two finally here,” Zack said as he made his way towards me and took me to the center giving me a place to sit. Calen came directly after me sitting beside. “Good evening. Thank you for having me.” I said to them and a little laugh erupted around but it was silenced the second after. I guess Calen probably told them something in their mind link which didn’t make me feel better at all. I know my social skills are not the best one but what would you expect from someone who was living six years alone in the woods and the only conversation I had was the one with the townsfolk people once per two weeks and my regular talks to my wolf.
Zack sat down on the opposite side of Calen right beside me. I heard a quiet growl coming from Calen but Zack was ignoring it. “Relax girl, we don’t bite. Calen already told us some little parts so we understand that you are not very talkative, no one would be spending so many years alone. So please don’t restrain yourself and just enjoy your time with us.” He gave me the widest smile I ever saw someone to make and softly slapped my back. I couldn’t say it made me feel much better but at least they didn’t expect much of conversation from me. Not sure if I should be insulted and take it positively in this situation. I guess the time would show.
Calen was sitting and I actually felt relaxed feeling his presence. At least a small reassurance that I am not completely alone with the strangers but saying that I was not freaking out in my mind would be a lie. People were coming to me and one by one they introduced themselves to me and I could feel my palms sweating. I really didn’t feel very comfortable being in the middle of this whole situation and getting so much attention. Is it possible to grow social phobia from so many years in solitude? I guess so. ‘What did we practice? Deep breathe in and deep breathe out.’ Maat instructed me as she sensed the panic attack close. Honestly, I started freaking out just from the thought that I might freak out. A sudden gentle touch of Calen’s hand as he tried to take my hand into his startled me. I turned my gaze to him and he was looking at me worriedly. “Don’t worry. I am here.” He assured me again and I accepted his hand. The warm feeling spreading from this little touch calmed me down more than the breathing practice. ‘I guess we just found the cure for your social phobia.’ She commented and I could feel my cheeks heating up. Thanks to Goddess it is dark and the fire doesn’t provide the light needed to make my blush visible for others. “You are okay?” He asked me and I could say that he was really worried. “Just nervous,” I replied to him and tried to smile.
“Zack? How is the meat?” Calen turned his gaze away from me asking for the food. I assume for me. “Almost done,” Zack called back from the other side of the fire where they placed this grill-like thing. Since Calen took my hand the people were keeping a distance from us so I guess he asked them to do it. “Thank you,” I said again and he looked confused. “For telling them to give me a bit of space,” I added. “Oh, that. I felt you are distressed so I guess there were too many people, but not sure about that.” He said shyly. I have to really give him the credit for being able to read the mood perfectly. “You were right. Honestly, I was afraid to freak out and almost got myself into a panic attack. This helped.” I told him while pressing onto his hand to show him what I meant by the help.
~*****~
CALEN’S POV:
‘Zack, we would hold the grill party today.’ I mind linked my beta. ‘Well, we have no grill.’ He told me back. I forgot about this little detail. We still didn’t buy the full equipment for our pack house since it would still take a few more weeks before we could bring everyone. ‘Think about something. I told Rei that we are mates. She is coming over so I would like a few people around for the first meeting to make her feel welcome.’ I explained to him and he started to laugh. ‘Good job bro. I would figure it out, don’t worry.’ He assured me before he closed our link. Rei was still upstairs packing her stuff and I didn’t want to rush her.
When she came down, she still had her black hair which made me curious and concerned. I asked her about that but she brushed it off telling me that for now, she feels more comfortable to keep them this way. When I remembered her glowing silver hair which is absolutely amazing if you would ask me, I could actually understand the reason she wants to keep them black for now. Even without the hair, she would still be beautiful for me but others might have a different opinion and for sure silver hair would bring a lot of questions.
The run was nice but I was actually surprised how slow she is. Maybe because of her short legs, not like I minded that at least I could rest assured that she would never be able to run away from me. Thoth was chuckling from the thought of our little mate running away from us. I had to slow down my pace so she could keep up with me.
I could see she was deeply lost in her thoughts and precisely talked with her wolf. I have to admit I was really interested and curious about what they were talking about but for that, I need to wait several months before I could mark her and get access to her thoughts.
When we were close to our borders, I felt her stiffen. She probably sensed the patrol but since I didn’t pay attention to it, she also relaxed. I am glad to see that her senses are really high when it comes to reading her surroundings and keeping her safe but given to the fact, she survived her alone for so many years it would be strange if her sense would be even a little bit less evolved. She might be slower than me but I believe if we would compete in tracking and reading the surroundings, she would leave even the most trained trackers behind her in the dust.
We were finally safely in our pack land and her body stiffened again hearing the noise. “I asked them to prepare a small barbecue. I guess you haven't eaten anything since you came to your cabin.” I started explaining as I tried to calm her down but her stomach just confirmed my theory announcing that it must be several hours from the last meal. Her facial expression when she l
ooked at me was priceless. “Yeah, I thought so,” I replied with a laugh. It sounded the same as the lion announcing his presence. Her cheeks were blushed and she looked unbelievably cute. She said quiet thank you.
“Are you really sure it is okay for me to go there? I am still rogue.” She asked nervously. I don’t think this was her only concern. I could already tell that she wasn’t used to crowded places and big groups of people so if I don’t want to scare her or make her feel uncomfortable, I need to take it really slowly. Damn, six years. I really couldn’t properly imagine her thoughts right now.
“Don’t worry about that. Some of them already know you and I think it would be nice to get some new friends. Anyway, I am still here so if you start to feel uncomfortable just tell me and I would take you to your room. Is that alright like that?” I told her and her body relaxed knowing that she could escape anytime she wants. The only thing popping in my mind every single time I am talking to her or dealing with her is a cougar. She is like a huge cougar living in the wild and I am the one who is trying to cage her. ‘You do a great job trust me.’ Thoth assured me. ‘I don’t want her to feel that she has to be with me or that she doesn’t need to confine herself because of us.’ I replied to him sadly. ‘I am sure she knows that and she feels that.’ He assured me again. Seriously I know how wild animals act when you corner them and I didn’t want her to feel that way.
New Beginning : A Beautiful Ethereal Creature (Spirit Wolf Book #1) Page 9