“You should probably go talk to him. I think he might feel embarrassed.” Emily told me, pushing me out of the bed. I simply stood up and ran after him passing around Zack and Andrew. “Tamara has something to tell you,” I told Zack to stop his laughing and as a little payment for the tickle I got just a few minutes ago. “Take is a payment for tickling me, Tami,” I shouted at her and I could hear some curses coming my way from her.
I found Calen sitting on the stairs and I sat beside him. “I am really sorry, I thought you might be in danger. I didn’t think and listen to the other sounds.” He apologized to me and explained his thoughts. “Don’t worry about that. I am glad you did it means that if I would be in danger you would save me right away.” I told him, placing my hands around his neck pulling him into a hug. I kissed him on his cheek as a thank you. “You don’t need to apologize for taking care of me, my love. Never ever.” I told him and he looked up at me with his sad puppy eyes. Oh, again this cute face. Oh, Goddess, you were supposed to give me a man, not a cute puppy eye guy. I complained to her in my mind. Not like I really complained but if he would start giving me this kind of look more often, I would never be able to say no to him. “I love you princess.” He told me to give me a gentle kiss on my lips. I returned the kiss with the passion but was suddenly interrupted with the scoff behind us. “She is still underage, hands off of her man.” Zack joked but I could see that Calen didn’t take it as one. “I guess you should run Zack,” I told him before Calen stood up and turned to him with the murderous look in his eyes. “I think you might be right. I guess it is time to go hunt.” He joked again before he jumped over the railing to the stairs below us and started to run with the Calen after him.
“Time to go hunting guys,” I called to others who were still behind us in my room and I could hear that Emily and Tamara were getting speed to get out of my room and run in my direction with Andrew already in front of them.
Chapter 34
DECEMBER REI’S POV:
‘Tomorrow is my birthday.’ I had one of my panic attacks and was currently in my room having my private conversation with Maat. I didn’t know what I should do. I was not ready. I definitely was not ready for whatever was going to happen tomorrow. It is not like I don’t know who my mate is or what exactly is going to happen. Wait, I actually don’t know what is going to happen. ‘Everything is going to be alright.’ Maat tried to calm me down but I simply couldn’t. We were talking for over one hour and no matter what she said to me I could not stop panicking.
‘Just breathe; you know how we practiced that.’ Maat instructed me for maybe like one-millionth times during the last hour. ‘Maat, what is going to happen once you reach maturity?’ I asked her but I could sense an inner fight in her. She didn’t know either, did she? ‘I am not completely sure. You know we don’t remember our previous lives the same as you don’t.’ Maat told me but it didn’t make me calmer.
‘What exactly are your powers? What would I feel once you get your full strength and abilities? What would happen with my mate bond since I already am with my mate? Maat, you have to know at least something.’ I was practically screaming the last sentence. I could feel that Maat was already starting to be desperate because of me. I was lost. I felt lost and completely halved inside from deciding what to do.
‘You are overthinking everything princess.’ I heard another voice in my mind and this voice was able to bring a tiny piece of peace inside my stormy mind. ‘Where have you been?’ I asked him furiously with deep anger. I was in this because of him. I needed him like one hour ago to help me but he was not here.
‘I am sorry princess I was away from the pack shortly just to prepare something and deal with some business. I didn’t plan to be away for so long. I linked with you the moment I was in a communication distance and felt your distress. What is wrong princess?’ He asked me but I didn’t know how to explain it. I felt terrible. I could not breathe and my chest was burning. My stomach was rumbling and hurting me and all over my body I felt small needles and burning on my skin. I was lost and I felt I had the whole mountain sitting on my chest.
‘I don’t know. I am nervous, afraid, terrified. Tomorrow is my birthday and I don’t know what I should expect. Everything is wrong.’ I cried in our mind link. I know I should not be thinking so much but I couldn't help it or stop it.
‘I know you hate changes. I know you have difficulties handling the unknown. You always need to function based on plans but life is not like that. I am really sorry I was not there to prevent your panic attack but I promise you I would be there soon. I am still a little away from the pack but I am coming to you. I would always be there for you and we would figure it out.’ He tried to soothe me but I needed his scent. I needed him to be here, to hold me and kiss me and assure me that everything is alright.
‘I know. I am sorry to be such a nuisance. We already discussed everything I knew I should handle better but I couldn’t control it.’ I explained to him in between the cries. ‘There is nothing to apologize for the princess. We discussed that with the doctor, remember?’ He told me. Yes, I did remember. Shortly after I moved to the pack, he took me to the psychology doctor to talk to. I didn’t feel good about it but he promised that it would help me. The only thing she actually told me was that I have some issues because of the long separation from the groups and from living alone from a young age like I didn’t know that.
CALEN’S POV:
‘Maat connected with me. Rei needs us.’ My wolf informed me. I was still too far away from the pack and from her to use mind-link. ‘We should have given her the mobile a long time ago, I told you that.’ I scolded Thoth. It was my idea to give her a mobile phone just in case I would leave the pack and won’t be able to connect with her but Thoth suggested that we could give it to her as a birthday present altogether with the other presents we were preparing.
‘You are right I am sorry. I didn’t think that we would go away from the pack before her birthday.’ He apologized but it was kind of late. I was still too far and maybe another thirty minutes until we crossed the radius for the mind-link. “Mathias, please drive a little faster. There is a sort of urgency in the pack.” I asked our driver and he looked at me confused in the front mirror. I was not sure if he was concerned because I didn’t receive any phone calls so there was no chance, I could know about any emergencies or maybe I just was trying something or test him. He didn’t ask me either but instead, he said simply yes Alpha, and increased our speed. I know he was already driving fast and with this, he might get extra two-three minutes but still.
The moment we crossed the boundary and were in the radius I could feel the distress and heaviness Rei was currently feeling inside her. She had to be in a panic attack or some other sort of episode. I thought we already dealt with it but I forgot that doctor Morigan said that it might take a few months until she gets over her issues.
‘What exactly are your powers? What would I feel once you get your full strength and abilities? What would happen with my mate bond since I already am with my mate? Maat, you have to know at least something.’ I heard her screaming. She was so nervous that she didn’t even put her mind shield up. Her mind was open. ‘It’s really bad this time.’ Thoth commented but I could feel myself even without his comment. ‘Looks like yes.’ I replied to him.
‘You are overthinking everything princess.’ I spoke to her because I didn’t know if Maat had things under control or not but given the tone of Rei’s mind voice, I assumed this was the reason Maat was trying to reach Thoth. Thanks to Goddess wolves could reach each other from farther distance than our ordinary mind-link. Once I would mate with Rei our connection would be also slightly increased and I would be able to contact her from farther.
‘Where have you been?’ She shouted at me. From her emotional state, I could sense she was really deeply lost in her fears and doubts. I should have known that before her birthday she might have one of her panic attacks. I should not have left her alone like this. Damn, I was s
tupid. ‘I am sorry princess I was away from the pack shortly just to prepare something and deal with some business. I didn’t plan to be away for so long. I linked with you the moment I was in a communication distance and felt your distress. What is wrong princess?’ I wanted to explain to her and also tried to calm her down.
‘This would be difficult. Our bond could ease her emotional stress before it becomes so bad now, I don’t know what to do, even Maat has no ideas.’ Thoth informed me. Sometimes I am forgetting that my mate was eleven when her parents were killed brutally right in front of her eyes and her mother ordered her to stay silent no matter what she saw or hear.
Flashback
“Rei, what actually happened during the attack on your pack?” We were sitting together in the water right at the banks. I prepared for her picnic for our first real date and since the weather was not that bad and thanks to our wolf blood, I prepared for her new swimming suit so we could dive together. I also practiced so I could stay longer. When I saw her for the first time, I knew she loved to stay under the water and actually wanted to try that with her.
She was staring at me, her eyes watery from the memories my question brought back. “What exactly would you like to know?” She asked me to turn her gaze to the surface of the water where the moon was leaving its image. She slowly circled with her finger around the moon. “How did you survive it?” I asked her and her hand stopped just for a second.
“In our pack, almost every house was built with the lowered porch, not like the houses you built in your pack.” She started explaining the structure of their pack. “It was usually perfectly covered from outside by the bushes or flowers with a very strong fragrance so it could easily mask our scents. In the case of attacks or danger, the kids and women were never hidden all in the same place in case one place was discovered. People in my pack were not fighters but we could defend ourselves when necessary. Not like I was in any attack before. It actually never happened but we had the drills as a kid what we should do in case the attack would come.” She continued and I was listening.
“When the alarm started in the pack my mom took me and ran with me out of our house but we were already ambushed and I could hear the growls from around us. I guess my mother knew it very well too so instead of trying to run away with me she hid me under one of those porches in our pack land. I would never forget the smell of the jasmine that was growing on the porch I was hidden under. I followed my mom with my gaze until she shifted into her wolf and joined the fight that reached to the place we were living.” She continued and I saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. I didn’t want her to cry but I wanted to know what happened so I could understand the feelings she is carrying inside. Why she built such strong walls around herself and decided to really live this life secluding herself from everyone.
“The fight didn’t take long and soon most of the pack members were dead and the fights over but it was not over yet because the attackers didn’t get what they came for. The rest members of my pack who were still alive were kneeling in front of the small group of men standing in front of my parents and the rest of the survivors and in front of them the man with strange clothes. He was wearing a long black coat with the hoodie over his head so I could not see his face properly but I would never forget his voice. The guys standing around him were naked so I understood they just shifted after the battle the same as the members of my pack. He was looking for Spirit Wolf. My parents told him that the Spirit Wolf was not born yet, that she came too early. He was talking about the visions and was sure that the Spirit Wolf was already born but he didn’t know in which pack. No one from outside the packs knew which of those three was actually carrying the blood. Not even me until Maat explained after our first shift.” Her speech became slower as she was fighting more of her tears.
“One by one, they were torturing them for hours leaving my parents as last for being Alpha and Luna of the pack. They slowly killed the rest of the survivors in front of them. Using shooting weapons, they injected some kind of drugs or something that was causing them too much pain. I could hear them scream and cry. I wanted to come out and tell them to stop but I couldn’t. My mother ordered me to stay hidden, don’t move, don’t talk, don’t make any sound until everyone is gone and the area is clear. She told me where I should go and what I should do. I was fighting her orders when they were torturing my parents when they tried to get from them the information about the bloodline and royal family.” She was sobbing heavily and crying. I pulled her closer to me and hugged her to assure her she is safe. I couldn’t imagine what she had to see and hear that day. She was shaking and trembling and I was sure it was not from the weather or from the water.
Her tiny shoulders felt even smaller now when she was hiding in my chest, placing her head on my heart and I wished I could have taken my question back but I needed to know. I needed to understand what happened that day.
“When he could not get the answers, he was looking for I could see fire on his hand. I was thinking maybe some kind of decision or something so I didn’t pay attention to this small detail before until Hannah told me that he was a sorcerer. He used his magic to spread the fire but not before he burned my parents still alive. Sometimes I am still hearing their screams like I am still hiding under that porch staring on the scene in front of me and seeing my parents rolling on the ground as their bodies are burning. After that, he burned the houses around. They didn’t leave before every single piece of my land was on fire. I had to wait till the last moment and left my hideout only seconds before it was eaten by the fire. Since then I was on run until one day, I end up here.” She finished her story crying sedentary.
I didn’t know what to say. I was expecting anything. I thought her parents died during the attack itself. I never expected that actually, they were torturing them to get information about Rei. And on top of that, she even didn’t know at that time that they were looking for her. She had to find out later that actually everything that happened to her parents and the whole pack was because of her. I was left speechless and helpless. What should I do? Now I understood why she kept even humans away from her. Now I knew why she lived alone in the woods and was visiting only two times per month for a few hours to get supplied before she stood alone again in her cabin. Now I understood why she was left completely broken. The scene of her parents burning alive, right in front of her eyes was horrendous by itself and this would leave even the strongest warriors in my pack, but she was broken one more time later when she shifted for the first time and realized that the one, they were looking for was her.
End Of Flashback
I finally reached the pack and the first thing I did was run straight to my mate. She was sitting on the floor in the corner with the knees under her chin and hugging herself. She looked broken and devastated. This was not only about her upcoming birthday. But with her wolf matured she would be finally revealed as a Spirit Wolf to everyone. Her wolf would emit the energy that she is possessing and there is nothing she could do to stop it. Maybe they would not know that she is a Spirit Wolf during the first meeting but they would definitely know that Rei is different.
I went straight to her and pulled her into my chest. She didn’t put her hands around my neck as always instead she curled herself into my lap and onto my chest like a scared kitten and I could see that she was literally trying to hide from the world. I wanted to say something cheerful to show her that there is nothing to worry about and that there is nothing that she should be afraid of but I knew I would be lying to her. The world doesn’t work like that and we both knew that. Maybe she just wanted to hear that everything would be alright, I didn’t know. She was quiet and I didn’t want to be the one to break this silence. She was curling inside my hug and I was simply provided the only things I could at this moment. My scent and my protection hoping that no matter which demons were hunting her right now, I was here with her and we would destroy them together. Whatever her birthday brings tomorrow we would handle it.
Chapter
35
REI’S POV:
“Good morning princess.” I heard a husky voice the first moment I tried to open my eyes. “Good morning,” I replied, still sleepy. “How do you feel?” Calen asked me. I realized I was sleeping curled onto his chest and he had his hands around me in a protective gesture. Once I finally managed to open my eyes at least a little bit to see the room I recognized we were in mine. I didn’t remember him coming into my room or even sleeping in the same bed.
“Actually tired, my body is sore; I have a headache, and my eyes are burning,” I told him the truth. “You were crying when I found you yesterday. The moment I came you slept in an instant.” He told me and I could believe that since I really didn’t remember.
“But more how do you feel inside? Yesterday's panic attack was the strongest I have ever seen. I was really worried about the princess.” I heard it in his voice and I felt bad for making this kind of problem for him. When the panic attack starts, I can't think positively or straight. Logic doesn’t work at that moment and the future seems black. I had them many times before but I thought I was already over them. I was living with the pack for over a half year now and managed to get to know practically everyone inside the pack. My social phobia and my personal fears shouldn’t be the problem anymore so why? I had no answers to this question.
New Beginning : A Beautiful Ethereal Creature (Spirit Wolf Book #1) Page 23