by Cole, Fiona
She swallowed hard, and I held my breath, waiting for her to tell me it wasn’t enough.
“Just be honest with me and don’t let her flirt with you.”
My first reaction was to deny that Hanna ever flirted, but I think about it from Carina’s point of view and understand. “I can do that.”
“Okay. Then, let’s have some dinner.”
* * *
Carina
That night, I decided to sleep in the guest bedroom. I’d had to force myself to stay under the covers and not tiptoe across the hallway and slip into Ian’s bed, demanding he tell me he loves me again and again.
Ian Bergamo loved me.
I closed my eyes against the morning light, picturing his face when he said those three perfect words.
They’d washed over me and made me want to collapse in his arms and tell him it was all okay, but I didn’t want to rush it. I didn’t want to let my emotions be rash, and control my decisions, blinding me to everything else going on. So, I’d held back, giving myself a moment to think it all through, to remember the pain he’d caused and know for sure his love could outweigh any doubts.
I’d made it all of twenty minutes before my mind had screamed at me to stop being so stubborn and to get on with the makeup sex. He’d smiled at me over our dinner, making me laugh over ridiculous jokes and comments.
Somehow, despite my body’s urging, I managed to crawl into my own bed. But the new day brought new plans that didn’t consist of me staying in this bed alone another second.
The sunlight washed over me, taking away the doubts from last night.
Ian Bergamo loved me, and I needed him to know how much I loved him too.
Flinging the covers back, I go to grab Audrey and prepare for the day, only to find it empty except for a note.
Out for a spa day, be back soon.
Love, Audrey and the best man ever
I laughed at Ian’s note, wondering how he snuck in here to grab her without me knowing. Stepping from the room, I listened in the hall, trying to decide where they were.
A deep voice singing You Are My Sunshine came from Ian’s bathroom. Each step bringing me closer to him had my heart thumping harder. It’d been eight hours since I’d seen him, and excitement flooded my body like it’d been eight months. At this rate, I’d be confessing my love as soon as my lips parted. It filled me to bursting, and I wasn’t sure how to hold it anymore. I wasn’t sure how I’d held it in so far.
Steam billowed out from between the crack in the door and I peeked in to find Ian cradling Audrey against his broad chest. I took my time, getting my fill of his perfect form through the foggy glass. His strong legs and perfect ass that swayed side to side as he bounced our little girl. His thick length that was impressive even when soft. His ridiculously broad chest that always tested the seams of his shirts. His smile that never failed to make me feel every good thing a woman should feel.
He was perfection, and he was mine. I just needed to reach out and take it.
“Nice song,” I called, stepping fully into the bathroom.
His head jerked in my direction, and his lips stretched into a perfect smile. “Look who’s here, Peanut.”
Audrey snuggled further into his chest, bringing her tiny thumb to her lips.
“The doctor said steamy showers were good for her, so I figure we’d take one.”
“Lucky girl,” I said, stepping up to the glass, scanning his body from head to toe.
“Why, Miss Russo, I’m feeling a little objectified,” he mock-gasped.
When my eyes made it back to his beautiful gray eyes, that had entranced me from the start, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I love you.”
The playful smile dropped, and he blinked a few times like I wasn’t real and would vanish at any moment. “What?”
“I love you, Ian. When I thought I could never love again, you made me love you. I love you so much.”
His lips twitched into a smile like his mind was catching up to his body and wasn’t sure to believe me yet, but eventually, he was beaming.
Before I could react, he was opening the glass door. “Damn, woman. Get your sexy self in here and kiss me.”
“Ian,” I screamed when he tugged me in, clothes and all, and kissed me. He had to bend his knees so he could keep Audrey propped on his chest and devoured my lips. His tongue brushed mine, but he quickly pulled back with a growl, resting his forehead to mine.
“I love you. Fuck, I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
As if Audrey could sense the moment and wanted to be part of it, she let out a little baby coo, pulling out attention to her.
“Don’t worry, baby girl. I love you too.” He kissed her dark head of hair before turning molten eyes to mine. “But spa day is over. Daddy is going to dry you off, rock you to the fastest sleep you’ve ever taken, and then I’m going to come back to Mommy and make love to her against this shower wall.”
My legs rubbed together in anticipation.
“Better hurry,” I whispered.
He stepped out and wrapped Audrey in a towel, slipping on a pair of pants and pointing at me before walking out. “You get naked and don’t touch that pussy until I get back.”
“That’s not fun.”
“It will be. Promise. I have plans.”
“I love you.”
“I’m going to make you scream that.”
“Good.”
“I love you too.”
Audrey must have got the message because he was back by the time I was done washing up. He stepped in the shower, stroking his length, prowling toward me until I was pressed against the wall.
“Now, where were we?”
“I believe you were going to fuck me until I confessed my love. But I’m not sure you can.”
A low chuckle vibrated from his chest. “Challenge accepted, Miss Russo.”
A challenge he completed again and again.
Epilogue
Carina
“If you guys don’t mind, I’m going to go bang my fiancée in the office now.”
I jerked wide eyes to Ian. “Oh, my god, Ian.”
Erik and Jared just shook their heads, laughing.
“I’m not your fiancée.”
Not that I didn’t necessarily want to be, but we weren’t there yet. Also, I wanted an epic wedding—Meghan Markle style, and between the opening of the London office and getting the new department set up for Wellington and Russo, I could barely do mediocre.
“I know,” Ian agreed readily, a devious smile tilting his full lips. “But I figured I could distract you with that and get away with banging you. Also, maybe if I say it enough, it will come true.”
“Jesus,” Jared muttered.
“So, desk sex it is.”
“Just keep it down, kids,” Erik warned. “I think poor Laura has been traumatized by the sounds coming from your office.”
My face flushed and I glared at Ian for constantly cornering me into office sex. It wasn’t hard, but still.
“Laura?” Jared almost shouted. “I’m the one between your two offices. I’m the one traumatized. You’re both loud.”
His eyes bounced between Erik and Ian, and neither man looked bothered.
“On that note…” I said, shouldering my bag and heading to the door.
“I’ll be taking a long lunch break,” Ian explained behind me.
When I stepped out of the office, I came to a halt, finding Hanna standing by Ian’s door. She briefly met my eyes and then looked down at her hands clasped so tightly her knuckles were turning white.
“Oh, umm,” Ian stuttered behind me. “Can this wait, Hanna?”
Her eyes flicked to mine, and I did nothing to hide my anger. “I was actually hoping to talk to Carina.”
“That’s uh…up to Carina.”
I could feel Ian’s discomfort from behind me, but I also felt his support. If I wanted Hanna gone, he would make it happen. I loved him all the more for it, bu
t the tension had lasted long enough in the silence.
“We can talk.”
“You can use my office. I have to run some things by Jared.”
Hanna nodded and swallowed. We stepped into the office, and I closed the door. She looked at me as if I was a tiger waiting to pounce, and maybe I was. I wasn’t going to lie; I was hesitant to assume what this conversation would be about. I’d thought I understood Hanna, but she’d proven me wrong at every turn, so I stood with my arms crossed, not giving an ounce of what I was thinking away.
“I’m so sorry,” she said softly. When I didn’t answer, she lifted remorseful eyes to mine, and still, I didn’t yield. “I know Ian told you what happened to me, and I foolishly convinced myself that the comfort I felt for Ian was love. Not that I’m trying to make excuses because none of it matters. All that matters is that I was wrong—so fucking wrong—and that I’m sorry.”
I softened my stance, dropping my arms to my sides, but still stood frozen. After a deep, shaky breath, she continued.
“Ian is my family, but you’re his. I know I don’t have a right to ask, but I was hoping you could eventually forgive me so we could at least be cordial.”
If I knew one thing, it was that comfort made us do crazy things. Like stay engaged to your best friend and suggest a threesome to make it work. We all make mistakes, and looking at Hanna trying to be bold enough to apologize for hers had me deciding I could be woman enough to forgive her.
“What you did was shitty.”
“I know,” she said, holding her chin high even if it did tremble a bit.
“It was wrong.”
“I know.”
I took a step forward and pointed a finger in warning. “And if you ever pull shit like that again, I will rain hell down on you.”
“That’s fair.”
Stepping back, I relaxed but still gave a hard stare. “So, don’t fuck it up and keep your hands to yourself and I think we’ll be okay.”
For the first time, her shoulders relaxed. “Thank you, Carina.”
“We’re not friends,” I clarified. “At least not right now.”
“It’s more than I deserve.”
“It is.”
We stood a moment longer taking each other in before Hanna broke the silence.
“Okay. I just wanted to apologize. I’ll leave you to it.” She stepped around me, but I stopped her just as her hand turned the handle.
“Hanna.” She turned over her shoulder. “The financial spreadsheet you created was amazing. I hope you don’t mind if I use it for the boys at Wellington and Russo.”
One side of her mouth ticked up. “Thank you. And go ahead. Just make sure they know a woman schooled them on how to do it best.”
“Of course.”
We all made mistakes, and I wasn’t sure Hanna and I would ever be close. But we had an understanding and us women needed to at least have each other’s backs in the office. I just hoped one day I could trust her enough to have my back outside of it too because strong lady friendships were where it was at.
As soon as Hanna left, Ian stepped in, eyes wide. “Everything okay?”
“It will be,” I said, stepping into his arms.
“Good.” He pressed a kiss to the crown of my head. “Now, about that office sex. What are you thinking? Bent over the desk or on top with your legs around my waist?”
I leaned back, and we both spoke at the same time.
“Bent over,” he said.
“On top.”
Doing what I always do with Ian, I shook my head and rolled my eyes.
“Go lock the door, Bergamo.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
* * *
Hanna
Six months later
“That was fantastic, Carina,” Daniel said beside me.
I loved the sound of his voice. Every time he spoke over dinner, I had to remind myself not to get lost in the deep timbre of his voice or force myself not to stare at the way his lips moved over the words.
“Thank you,” Carina answered.
“Hey, I helped,” Ian protested.
“Ian, made the salad.”
“Good job, man. We’re all so proud of your cooking achievements,” Erik said, earning a finger from Ian.
Ian and Carina had invited everyone over for dinner like they did a couple times a month. Carina loved to cook for everyone, and Ian loved to make Carina happy.
Taking in the happy couple holding hands on the tabletop, it was crazy to think how far we’d come in the past six months. Carina and I had bonded over our mutual goal to dominate the mostly male office, and that had slowly shifted to lunches and eventually a kind of friendship.
I envied her boldness and confidence. It reminded me so much of Sophie that it both drew me in and hurt my heart all at once.
One night I’d drank more than my share of wine and admitted how similar she was to my twin. Somehow, I ended up sharing stories of Sophie and I growing up and part of what we endured when we were taken. Carina had cried with me and fed me ice cream when the worst of it was over.
I’d confided how desperate I was to move on and become a sexual woman outside of my trauma but hadn’t found a way yet. She’d held my hand and understood the best she could without false platitudes, and it had been everything I needed.
“When are you going to ask this girl to marry you?” Erik asked Ian.
“When are you going to ask Alex to marry you?”
Alex rolled her eyes, having heard this same back and forth before. We all knew they were waiting for Alex to graduate. I still cringed a little when I thought of the age difference between her and my brother.
Unconsciously, my eyes shot to Daniel. Then again, maybe a large age gap wasn’t such a big deal. Daniel was an older man. Not that he looked much older than my brother.
He had fine lines around his blue eyes and full mouth, proving he enjoyed life and laughed a lot. It was alluring. That kind of positivity and vibrance pulled me in through dinner. And when he happened to turn and catch me staring at him, giving me a wicked smile, my whole body burned.
“I’ll get the dishes, baby,” Ian crooned, pointedly looking at Daniel and Erik to help him.
They grumbled but obliged.
Carina caught me watching Daniel’s retreating back—his butt to be more specific. It was perfectly plump and firm under his black jeans.
“You know, Hanna,” she said with a slow smile. “You should come to Voyeur one night. It may be a good way to get your toes in the water without any pressure.”
Voyeur—the sex club Daniel owned. It wasn’t actually a sex club, but more a place to watch people perform sexual acts. I could even do it from a private room from what she explained.
My eyes bulged at her suggestion; at the same time, my heart thundered with excitement. “Oh, umm…”
“I want to go to Voyeur,” Alexandra said, perking up.
“We can make it a girls trip,” Carina suggested.
“Oh…don’t you need a membership?”
“I’ll talk to Daniel about it.”
“Talk to Daniel about what?” the man himself asked, strolling into the dining room.
“Can you get Hanna a night pass for Voyeur?”
All bodily functions stalled. My heart stopped beating, my lungs stopped inflating, and my neurons stopped firing.
At least, until Daniel’s eyes slowly shifted to mine. Then it all rushed back into action, going into overdrive. Blood filled with adrenaline flooded my body until I was sure I’d pass out. His light blue eyes darkened as they took me in. I may have even whimpered when he licked his lips, thinking his response through.
Fuck me. Was this what real desire felt like?
It was consuming and life-altering. It made what I felt for Ian a joke in comparison.
“What?” Erik almost shouted from right behind Daniel. “Abso-fucking-lutely not.”
“Stop being a prude, Erik,” Alex reprimanded.
Daniel delivere
d a devastating wink before possibly opening the key to my future. “I’ll see what we can do, but it shouldn’t be a problem. Don’t worry, Erik. I’ll make sure she’s safe with me.”
But melting under his heated stare, I wanted to be anything but safe when I was with him.
Acknowledgments
My family: I don’t know what I would do without my husband. He loves and supports any crazy idea I may have and pushes me when I’m ready to give up and say never mind. I love you. Thank you for being there for the girls while I’m chasing this crazy dream. And thank you to my girls who are always more than understanding when I’m on my computer again. Madi: maybe you be stronger than I ever was. Emma: try not to kill anyone. I love you both more than anything ever.
Karla. Dream Team, baby. I could write a novel for how grateful I am for having you in my life. But why would I do that when I can send you at least seven voice messages every morning? Haha! You make my books better. You make ME a better person. Thank you for listening to me always.
Serena. Jeez … where do I start? Thank you for always talking me up. Thank you for reminding me of all the things I’m forgetting. Thank you for being bossy and wonderful and for being the best damn PA a girl could ask for. Thank you for being my friend.
Najla Qamber. The best damn cover designer there ever was. This was the hardest one yet, but you of course came through and found me the best of the best. I couldn’t imagine ever working with anyone else. Thank you for all your talent.
Linda. Thank you for holding my hand and petting my hair when I’m on the verge of crawling in a hole. I couldn’t do this without you or your enthusiasm. I appreciate everything you do and can’t wait to drink wine together some day.
Kelly. I can’t thank you enough for word vomiting all the information there ever was about audiobooks. It sparked a friendship I can’t imagine not having in my life. You’re so funny and smart and talented beyond belief. Thank you for your wonderful editing and proofreading. I can’t wait to finally meet you.