by Lois Richer
“I don’t have the right to ask You to fix my mistake,” he murmured as he fed the minis and completed the other chores he’d promised Gabe he’d attend to. “I don’t deserve anything. But Adele loves those kids with her whole heart. Please, God, please let the adoption go through.”
Finished with his chores, Mac stood in the cold air, looking upward. He saw only dark roiling clouds obscuring the moon and stars. Perhaps it was a portent of things to come. The threat of tomorrow and the shame it would bring made for a very restless night.
* * *
“I’m so relieved it’s not storming or anything. I don’t think I could stand it if we had to cancel today’s appointment.”
Mac made no response and Adele didn’t seem to need one. She, Francie and Franklyn had been chattering like magpies for most of the two hours they’d been on the road. In a way it was a relief he didn’t have to make conversation, though his thoughts were not cheering. It felt like he was counting down the minutes until Adele told him she was disgusted by his behavior.
Mac drove to the courthouse through Christmas shoppers’ traffic and found a parking place. After freshening up, he and Adele shepherded the twins to the informal room where the hearing got underway immediately. Francie was called first to speak to the judge.
Mac couldn’t suppress a smile as the little girl wiggled in the leather chair until she was comfortable. Then she beamed at the judge. Adele’s icy fingers slid beneath his. Surprised, he closed his hand over hers and whispered, “She’ll do fine.”
“It’s not Francie I’m worried about,” Adele responded with a grimace.
“We’ve prayed,” he reminded. “All things work together, remember?” She nodded, squeezed his hand and seemed to relax.
Both the twins answered all questions put to them, though they digressed several times to ask the judge if he had children and if he liked to make Christmas cookies with them. The interviews ended on a shout of laughter from the judge as Franklyn repeated one of his knock-knock jokes. In Mac’s opinion it had gone very well.
Moments later a court assistant ushered the twins from the room while Adele was questioned. Mac could see how nervous she was, but he could also see on her face and hear in her voice her love for the sweet twins and her joy at living with them as she eagerly responded to the interrogation.
“I love Francie and Franklyn. I don’t think I could be prouder of them or love them any more than I already do. I believe they love me, too,” she said as tears formed in her eyes.
“And if you are not permitted to adopt them?” the judge queried.
“That love won’t change. I’ll keep in contact with them, encourage them to be part of whatever family they are given. But I will always feel that Francie and Franklyn are my children, a very special part of my family,” she whispered.
Mac had intended to pray for Adele through her interview, but instead found himself riveted by her excited voice as she relayed the list of plans she had for her future with the children. He found himself yearning to be part of it, to share every one of the precious milestones ahead with her.
Once you visit the center, it’s over, his conscience reminded. Delly won’t want you to be part of her family when she knows what you’ve done.
Mac snapped back to attention as the judge asked, “If you marry, Miss Parker? If you have your own children? What happens to the twins? What happens to your family dream then?”
“I—uh, don’t foresee that happening, sir.” Delly glanced at Mac. Her gaze skittered away. It returned a moment later, her eyes holding his as her amber irises intensified to a burnished-copper tone. “For many years I’ve believed marriage isn’t for me.”
“Because?” The judge leaned forward, his interest obvious.
“I come from a terrible home situation. My sister and I were caught between my parents’ vicious fights. We felt like abused pawns as our family was torn apart. Neither of them seemed to notice or care what they were doing to us. My sister and I lost touch when we were taken into foster care. We haven’t seen each other for a very long time.”
“That’s sad, but that’s your parents’ failure. Not yours.” The judge frowned.
“I’ve had my own failures in the romance department, sir.” Delly cleared her throat. “I was engaged a short time ago, for the second time.”
Mac straightened. Second? He hadn’t known that. Why hadn’t Delly told him?
“In both cases I trusted wrongly and my relationships soured. I realized I was treading the same path as my parents.” She looked directly at the judge. “I never want any child to go through what I did so I decided that marriage is not for me, despite the dream of happily-ever-after that every little girl cherishes.”
“But you’re not a child any longer. And you said you had wonderful foster parents in your aunts, that you’ve been very happy.” He waited for her explanation.
“I am, more so every day. My aunts have made my life something to be envied. That’s what I want to do for Francie and Franklyn,” she said.
“And because your aunts never married, you think you can’t?” Judge Barr looked troubled by that.
“No, sir. That is, I don’t think that anymore. Thanks to my sister and her husband, and with the advice of a very good friend,” she added with a smile at Mac, “I’m coming to realize that marriage is a wonderful gift from God that can be a strong partnership of respect and love where children flourish.”
Mac felt the intensity of her stare as she looked at him. Time seemed to stand still.
“In fact, your honor, if the right man asked me, I would reconsider my stance on marriage. I believe love is something everyone should experience.”
It felt like Adele was trying to tell him something. But what? Mac struggled to understand her unspoken message, but suddenly the connection between them broke as she looked at the judge.
“But only if the man loved Francie and Franklyn as I do. Then it would be per—” She stopped. Her eyes swiveled back to Mac, holding a bead on him, as if she was willing him to understand.
And suddenly Mac felt a light go off inside his head. Had this woman, whom he’d known forever, just done a one-eighty on the topic of love?
“Please continue,” Judge Barr said quietly.
“I was going to say perfect. But that’s wrong,” Adele quickly revised. “It wouldn’t be perfect because relationships are never perfect. I’m learning that. But it would be wonderful.”
“And so?” The judge raised one eyebrow.
“That hasn’t happened yet. But Francie and Franklyn still need a home and a mother. I want to be that person.” Adele’s backbone straightened as she looked directly at the man who would decide her future. “Whatever the future holds for us, Judge, I promise to be the very best mother I can be. I love these children with all my heart.”
“I thank you for your honesty, Miss Parker. I believe I have all I need to make a temporary judgment. Please wait here.” Judge Barr gathered his papers then left the room.
“Well?” Adele turned to Mac and gripped his hand so tightly he winced. “What do you think he’ll say?” she whispered though that was unnecessary, since they were the only two in the room.
“He’ll say yes, of course. Where’s your faith, Delly?” Mac eased his numb fingers from hers and flexed them, wondering if he should ask her to clarify her belief on love. But guilt held him back. “Thank you for mentioning me as one of your supporters,” he said instead.
But his heart cried, Friend? Is that all I can be to you, Delly?
“You’ve never failed me yet, Mac,” she said, her eyes glowing.
I will. Mac ignored the voice inside his head.
“I can’t believe I heard you right about marriage.” He searched her face, trying not to let hope grow. “Or was that just for the judge’s benefit?” Please say you meant it, Delly.
“It was the truth. I no longer see marriage as I once did, Mac.” Her smile seemed a bit introspective, even sad. “I think I was running away from love because I was afraid of being vulnerable. But it could be wonderful. With the right man.”
Mac wanted to ask her more, to find out if Adele could think of him as the right man, as more than a good friend. But the twins’ return prevented further discussion because they chattered nonstop about their tour of the courthouse with the judge’s assistant. Their social worker, now speaking on her phone, gave Adele a thumbs-up before returning to her conversation. Mac opened his mouth to renew their discussion, but Judge Barr entered the room.
“First may I say I very much enjoyed meeting you, Francie and Franklyn. Thank you for telling me the truth. Sometimes that’s hard to do.”
“Welcome,” Francie said. “Delly always makes us tell the truth. She ’sists on it.”
“I think Delly does most things well, doesn’t she?” he said with a smile at the twins.
“She makes the bestest cookies,” Franklyn said, face serious. “If you don’t gots none, maybe she’ll send you some.”
“Thank you. That’s very kind.” Judge Barr waited until Adele had shushed the children. Then he turned to her. “Miss Parker, I believe you have a huge capacity for love, already evidenced in your strong relationship with these wards of the court. You seem to have a solid faith in God and this appears to help instill values and consideration in the children. I already know your support community is very strong, which gives you resources to call upon should you need help parenting. You’ve clearly given thought to the future and the impact it might have on the three of you.”
Mac’s heartbeat stopped as the judge studied him for a long moment. Had he done something wrong, somehow jeopardized Delly’s chance at custody? He heaved a sigh of relief when the magistrate continued his speech.
“I applaud you, Miss Parker, for coming through a difficult childhood with the determination and will to make the world better for someone less fortunate. Your work at The Haven is a testament to this.” He stopped, consulted his notes, then continued. “I was pleased to hear that you’re revising your opinions about love and marriage. Not all marriages end in disaster, though it does take commitment and perseverance to learn how to give your heart.”
This time Mac felt the judge’s scrutiny more intensely than ever. It took every nerve he had to remain in place, to meet the wise gray eyes and not move. Then the man shifted his gaze to Adele.
“I heard you use the word perfect. I agree that nothing is perfect, especially not love. But it is worth the risk.” Judge Barr cleared his throat and stacked his papers against the table. “I hereby find Miss Adele Parker an excellent candidate for parenthood and award her temporary custody of the children for six months, at which time a second hearing will be held to determine permanent custody.”
Mac couldn’t swallow past the lump of joy in his throat.
“I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and look forward to seeing you in my chambers in six months. Thank you for finding this lovely guardian for these sweet children,” he said to the social worker, then held out his hand to shake Franklyn’s hand first, then Francie’s, Adele’s and finally Mac’s. “Miss Parker must think very highly of you to allow you to be part of this proceeding. I hope you will honor that trust, sir.”
“I will,” Mac promised through parched lips. “Thank you, sir.”
“You’re welcome.” The judge glanced from Mac to Adele. “I look forward to our next visit.” Then he hurried out of the room.
The social worker congratulated Adele, then also left. Alone with the kids, Mac studied Adele’s face.
“Are you crying?” he asked, aghast at the sight of tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Did we do sumthin’ bad?” Franklyn frowned.
“No. You did everything just right, sweetheart. You and Francie were great.” Mac looked at Adele to see if she would tell them, but she was crying even harder, though she nodded at him as if to say, “Go ahead, tell them.”
“Then why’s Delly bawling?” Franklyn demanded, his face troubled.
“She’s happy because you and your sister get to stay at The Haven with her. That’s what the judge said.” Mac loved seeing their faces light up.
“Forever ’n’ ever.” Francie’s eyes closed. “An’ ever,” she whispered.
The judge’s positive response made Mac think he didn’t need to mention the next visit. But now even Franklyn looked like he’d start weeping. Mac had to do something.
“I think we should celebrate.”
“With cake?” Francie’s big eyes studied him. “It’s not my birthday.”
“No, honey.” Mac hunkered down in front of her. “But it’s the first day of your new family with Delly. She’s your new mommy.”
“C’n we call her that?” Franklyn sounded breathless. He looked at Adele and frowned. “She’s still bawlin’.” He asked worriedly, “Doesn’t Delly want to be our new mom?”
“Oh, Franklyn, sweetie, I’m crying because that’s what I want more than anything.” Adele threw her arms around the little boy and hugged him close. She did the same with Francie. “I love you two so much. I’m so happy,” she burbled as new tears flowed.
“It’s okay, son.” Mac wanted to shout with laughter at Franklyn’s confused expression. “Some people cry a lot when they’re happy, especially ladies.”
Franklyn looked at Francie. They shrugged. “Weird,” they said in unison.
“Yeah.” Chuckling, Mac slid his arm around Delly’s waist and pulled her close. He brushed his lips against her cheek, loving the feel of her silken skin. He knew this closeness wouldn’t last, so he savored every precious moment. “Stop crying, sweetheart,” he whispered when he finally pulled back. He brushed his lips over hers in the faintest caress, then pushed her golden curls behind her ears. “Be happy. Celebrate. God answered your prayer. Besides, your tears are scaring the twins. And me.”
In a flash the old Delly was back, laughing joyously as she stood on the tiptoes of her utterly impractical yet completely mesmerizing spike-heeled boots and kissed him. Every nerve, thought and emotion in Mac responded. He felt perfectly in tune with her, alive and more connected to her than he’d ever been with anyone else. This was everything he wanted—no, she was everything he wanted. And he never wanted it to end. Because he loved Adele.
“Excuse me. Personal displays of affection are not allowed in the courtroom.”
The laughing voice of the judge’s assistant permeated the cloud that enveloped Mac. He drew back slowly, feeling like he’d just emerged from a fog.
“Mac was kissin’ our new mommy,” Francie chirped in her high-pitched voice.
“So’s he gonna be our new daddy?” Franklyn asked.
“Good question.” The assistant grinned. “Why don’t you ask them? After you leave. We have another session in a few minutes.”
As Mac helped Adele with her coat and buttoned Franklyn into his, he prayed he hadn’t restarted the twins’ obsession with finding a daddy. He ushered them outside, avoiding Adele’s glance as he joked and teased with them all the way to the burger joint.
Every fiber of his being felt alive with the knowledge of his love. Adele was who he wanted to spend his life with, the woman he wanted to impress and court and love.
But she didn’t know the truth yet.
His stomach lurched. Time to face the music.
Chapter Twelve
“Can we leave now?” Adele had managed about three bites of her hamburger, but there was no way she could choke down anymore.
Mac’s kiss had knocked her world off-kilter. He’d kissed her like a man kissed a woman for whom he cared deeply. Then they’d left the courthouse and he’d changed dramatically. She wasn’t sure why, only that Mac was pretending he was okay while behind that blasé mask he smoth
ered something that scared her.
“You didn’t eat much.” He frowned at her almost-full plate.
“Too excited. Custody of the twins and now maybe I’ll get to see my sister for the first time in over ten years.” She gulped, hardly able to process all the emotions whistling through her.
“Remember, the women who answered said Gina Parker wasn’t there. It might not happen, Delly. Don’t get your hopes too high.”
Too late. She was full of hope, especially after that hearing. She was going to be the kids’ mom, though she dearly wished she didn’t have to do it alone. Why couldn’t Mac see that he would be the perfect addition to their perfect family?
“I guess we’d better get on with it.” Mac’s sour tone enhanced the niggling worry that nestled inside her. “But you and I need to have a conversation first.”
“About what?” Adele asked, but in the confusion of paying the bill and getting Francie and Franklyn out to Mac’s truck and belted in, he didn’t respond. She waited until he’d started the truck then laid her hand over his. “What’s wrong, Mac?”
Tiny muscles in his jaw worked as he held her gaze. He seemed to struggle for the right words.
“Why are we stopped?” Franklyn demanded.
“I wanna go,” Francie whined.
Heaving a sigh of pure frustration, Mac shifted into Drive and left the parking lot. He drove as if he knew where he was going, his face tight with tension.
“You know where this center is?” Adele asked.
“Looked up the address.”
Something certainly was wrong, and no matter how she tried to pray, Adele couldn’t stifle her worry. On top of that, the twins kept plying her with questions, leaving no time for her to find out what was up with Mac. By the time they pulled in to the parking lot of a former school that had a big sign out front identifying the building as the Edmonton Center for Youth, Adele’s apprehension was full-blown.
“They’re fussing,” Mac said in a low voice. “Why don’t you go inside and ask about Gina while I keep them busy out here?”