by Anna Black
“Leila, I don’t know. I look at him, and he seems happy, but I know he loves you,” she said with a little doubt.
“I know that’s what you may think, but Devon would have never married you, Christa, if he wasn’t ready to move on. I know Devon, and as long as he treats you with love and respect, know that we are not doing anything to hurt you or Rayshon. Please unpack your bags and give him a chance. Devon isn’t all bad. Trust me, and even if I were available, chile, please, trust me when I say I don’t want yo’ man,” she said, and they laughed.
“OK, I’ll stay,” Christa said.
“Girl, that’s a relief because what I’m going through right now, Devon would be no good to me if you broke his heart.”
“Oh my God, Leila, I’m sorry. What’s wrong?”
“Well, Nurse Karen is pregnant with my husband’s child,” she said and blinked back the tears.
“What? How do you know for sure?”
“Well, after he lied to me, and I saw an invoice for a bunch of baby stores totaling over two grand, I went to the hospital, and there she was as pregnant as day. I mean, her stomach looked as if she were ready to deliver right now,” she said. Now, the tears flowed.
“Oh, Leila, what happened?”
“Well, when I asked her if it was Rayshon’s, she nodded yes. Then I leaped on her, knocking her to the floor, trying to pound in her face,” Leila said, being honest.
“You attacked a pregnant woman?”
“Yes, I foolishly attacked a pregnant woman, Christa, and as wrong as it was for me to do that, it was wrong for them to hide that shit from me,” she cried.
“You’re right, but, Leila, she didn’t get pregnant by herself, and you could have hurt her.”
“I know, Christa, and I didn’t mean to react the way I did, but when I saw her, I lost it,” she said, and Christa grabbed her hand.
“What are you going to do?”
“I have no clue,” she said, and then her cell rang. It was Ray, and she knew she had to talk to him.
Chapter Thirty-two
“Where the hell are you?” Ray yelled.
“At Devon’s,” she said.
“That figures. I knew that would be the first place you’d run to,” he said angrily.
“With Christa—not Devon, Rayshon, or should I say, Karen’s baby daddy? What do you want?”
“Well, I just left the hospital. Karen and the baby are fine after your attack. She had to get two stitches in her lip,” he said, and Leila didn’t give a damn. “You could have seriously hurt her, Leila.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know how many stitches I’ll need to fix my heart,” she said and cried.
“I know, Leila, and, baby, I wanted to tell you. Every day I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how to say it,” he expressed.
“It was simple, Ray, just say, ‘Baby, that bitch I said I wasn’t fucking, I was, and now she is fucking having my baby,’” she spat.
“I have every right to be angry, baby, and you know it wasn’t that simple. Come home so that we can talk,” he said, and she paused for a moment. She knew he was right, so she agreed.
“I’m on my way,” she said and hit the end button on the phone quickly. Her heart sank. She wasn’t sure if she could go home and face him. She made Christa promise that she wasn’t going to leave Devon, and she did.
When she pulled up to the house, she squeezed her steering wheel and asked God for strength. Then she got out. When she walked in, Rayshon was sitting at the table with a bottle of scotch and a glass. She looked at him, but an overwhelming feeling of disgust came over her, and she wanted to slap the piss out of him.
“Please sit,” he said. She put her purse and keys down and sat across from him. “Leila, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for not telling you. I promise you that every day that I didn’t tell you, it was killing me inside. I just wanted to make absolutely sure that the baby was mine before I said anything.”
“Ray, I sit here, and I hear the words that you are saying, and you know what? Even though I don’t want to believe you, I believe you. I am just so confused about why you didn’t feel like you could tell me. I’m your wife, Rayshon, your best friend, and we are more than this. Did you think it would hurt less after the baby was born? You kept something so major from me, Rayshon. How could you not tell me?” she asked, looking in his eyes. “I’ll admit, I never believed that you never fucked her—that I never believed—but I’m revolted at the fact that you slept with her without protection.
“I just didn’t think you were foolish enough to be fucking her without protection, Rayshon. How could you lie with that bitch without protecting yourself, protecting me, and protecting this family? We have to tell our children that they are going to have a sister or a brother, Rayshon. That is what’s killing me the most because I accepted your infidelity a long goddamn time ago,” she yelled and got up and went for a drink. She grabbed the vodka and made it straight. She downed it and poured another before taking her seat.
“Leila, you are not going to believe me, but I wasn’t sleeping with Karen. I swear to you. The morning I came home when I didn’t remember shit is the night I supposedly conceived this baby, and, Leila, you know me. I’m not going to lie to you. I didn’t remember having sex with her or whether I used a condom. I was so outta my mind, Leila, the next morning, I didn’t remember anything. After I came home, I went to see Dr. Vernon, and he checked me out, and I was fine. I just want to get this baby tested because, in my heart, I don’t believe it’s mine. I have no remembrance of having sex with her. Just some vague memories that I may have dreamt, but, Leila, I swear. I don’t want you to leave me over this,” he pleaded, and she shot him a look.
“Rayshon, I thought I could handle this, and I thought I could come home and say okay, I’m going to work this out, but listening to you and feeling the way I feel about this entire fucked-up situation . . .” she said, and the tears started to flow. She was angry. She wanted to see the man she was madly in love with. She wanted to identify the Rayshon that eased all of her pain and came to her rescue when Devon tore her down, but all she saw was a lying-ass, deceitful man who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants nor wrap it up to protect him and his family. She was done, and what she said next shocked herself. “I want you to leave, and I want a divorce,” she said, trembling.
“No, Leila, no. Please don’t say that,” he pleaded. “I am so fucking sorry for not being honest with you. Please don’t,” he begged, rushing over and kneeling on the floor in front of her. “Please, baby, please,” he begged, but she didn’t budge.
“Ray, just get your things and get out,” she said and looked away.
“Leila,” he cried. She got up, and he followed her up to their room. “No, no, no! I love you more than anything in this world. I love my kids, and I’ve never wanted her, Leila. I want you and my family,” he said, and she turned to him.
“No, you don’t. You didn’t think of us when you made a baby outside of this marriage, and I can’t even look at you right now. I thought this would be easy and that I could handle it, but I can’t, and I want you to go,” she said, and her hands were trembling. She honestly didn’t want him to leave, but she couldn’t handle the fact that he made a baby with his mistress. Devon was an ass, but he never came home with the news of impregnating another woman. She felt like fighting him with her fists, even though she knew she’d never win. She just wanted to hurt him. She wanted him to feel an ounce of the pain she felt.
“Leila,” he cried.
“Go!” she yelled.
He decided he’d give her some space. He turned and went into the closet, and she went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. She sat on the side of the tub and began to sob. She never thought she and Ray would ever experience this level of drama. After all the pain and misery she went through with Devon, she never imagined another man would hurt her.
When he tapped on the door, she yelled, “Get out!” She waited until she heard the
garage door close before she opened the bathroom door.
Chapter Thirty-three
Ray was sitting at his desk, but he couldn’t concentrate. It was close to Karen’s due date, and the closer it got, the more unsettled he felt. He tried to be happy, but it was impossible. Every time he looked at Leila, he wanted to shoot himself for what he was putting her through. She barely said two words to him when he came by to see the kids.
He had been on his own for almost three months and missed home, his wife, and kids more than he missed anything in the world.
Karen was a week past her due date, but the doctor said he didn’t see any reason to be alarmed yet. Ray was anxious every time his phone rang because he was afraid Karen would be calling, telling him she was in labor. Two nights ago, she called at two in the morning, and after being at the hospital for three hours, the doctor sent her home because it wasn’t time.
Ray started to clean off his desk because he had too much going on, and his desk hadn’t had a major cleaning in months. He came across an envelope from Dr. Vernon that he never opened. He searched his desk for his letter opener, and his cell phone went off, so he grabbed it and read the message.
My water broke.
Ray froze. He put the letter down and called Leila.
“Hello,” Leila answered, and he didn’t want to say the words, but he did.
“Karen just texted me. Her water broke,” he said nervously.
“Okay, well, this must be it,” she said dryly.
“I am sorry,” he said.
“Ray, please—” she said and hung up.
Ray grabbed his keys and went to his truck. He felt that he was moving in slow motion. When he reached the hospital, he went inside and asked the lady at the desk what room was Karen in. She told him and pointed toward her room. He walked to her door and took a deep breath before entering.
“Hey, you must be Rayshon,” an older version of Karen said.
“Yes,” he said, and she reached out and hugged him.
“I’m Katherine, Karen’s mom. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to meet you finally,” she said, and Ray was caught off guard. He knew her mom would probably come to the hospital, but he didn’t want to meet her on those terms.
“Likewise, Mrs. Morgan,” he said, and he made his way to the other side of Karen’s hospital bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked, and she looked like she was terrified.
“I’m okay, I guess, but the pain is starting to kick in, and these contractions are nothing like I thought,” she said.
“Just relax. You’ll do fine,” Ray said, holding her hand.
“Ray, will you stay for the delivery?” she asked.
“Of course,” he said, and she smiled . . . then she frowned because another contraction came on. “I think I made a bad choice, Ray. Can you tell them that I do want that epidural?” she cried, and he went to look for her nurse. The nurse checked her again. Since she was only four centimeters, she put in an order for her to get the epidural.
Ray held her in his arms while they gave her the injection in her back. “Ouch ouch ouch,” she moaned, so Ray held her tighter until they were done. Shortly afterward, she was resting, and Ray made small talk with her mom. It was obvious that Karen hadn’t told her mom that Ray was married because her conversation was mainly about him and Karen being together. She must have finally noticed Ray’s wedding band, and her eyes popped.
“Young man, is that a wedding band on your finger?”
“Yes, ma’am, it is,” he said, and the shocked look on her face said it all.
“You mean to tell me that you got involved with my daughter and made a baby, and you’re married?” she said appalled. “And you, young lady, what drama do you have brewing this time?”
“Mommy, please—leave Rayshon alone. He’s separated, okay? So stop asking him a million and one questions,” she said. Her mom stood and rolled her eyes at him.
“Don’t think that you’re not going to provide for this baby, Mr. Johnson,” she said, cutting him the eye, and he just fell back into the recliner and put his hand over his head. He wanted to go out and call Leila, but the doctor walked in.
“Karen, really?” her mom whispered.
“Mother, please, it’s not like that, okay? Rayshon is different. I’m fine,” she said, and Ray didn’t bother to dip in their conversation. He was aware that her mother wasn’t proud of their situation. Hell, neither was he.
“You better be fine, chile. You are going to be a mother, and I hope for this baby’s sake that you are fine.”
“Ma, please, okay? I’m in labor, for crying out loud. I don’t need this right now,” she said. The doctor was trying to talk to her, so her mom backed off.
Several hours later, the doctor came back and checked Karen. She was fully dilated, so the doctor called the nurse in so Karen could prepare to start pushing. She pushed for about thirty minutes, and finally, the baby was out. They wiped him off a little bit and handed him to Karen, and for the first time, Ray felt some emotion. He looked at the boy. He was a beautiful baby. He looked so much like Karen, but Ray couldn’t see any of himself in him.
They took him, weighed, and measured him, and they finished cleaning up Karen.
“You did good,” he told her because she looked exhausted.
“He is beautiful, Ray,” her mom said. She looked like she wanted to say more, but she didn’t.
“Thank you,” he said, and Karen insisted he go to the nursery with the baby. After he watched them check him out and bath him, they let him hold him. Ray looked down at his tiny little face and his glossy eyes from the solution that the nurse put in them and didn’t know what to say.
“Hey, little man. You’re finally here, and you are a handsome little man,” he said, still trying to see himself in him. RJ and Rayven looked like Leila too, but he could still see himself in them, but he could not see any similarities in this baby. The nurse put him back into his bassinet, and then they headed back to Karen’s room so she could see him.
Ray walked the baby back in, and he told Karen he’d be back because he wanted to go and call Leila. She just nodded because the nurse was handing her the baby. Ray went outside of the hospital and called Leila, and she quickly answered.
“Rayshon,” she answered. “I’m a nervous wreck. What’s happening? Did she have the baby?”
“He’s here, and he’s a big boy—eight pounds and four ounces, and he’s twenty-one inches long.”
“Wow, he’s huge. Way bigger than RJ and Rave. I’m dying to know, does he look like you or the kids?” she asked nervously.
“I can’t tell right now, Lei—he looks so much like Karen.”
“Oh God,” she cried. “You have to do the test right away.”
“I know because he is so beautiful and innocent, and I don’t want to get attached to him and then find out he’s not mine.”
“Did you guys pick a name?”
“Well, of course, you know what she wanted, but I explained to her crazy ass that it would be stupid to do that, so I think she’s going with Shon. I don’t know, though. We haven’t named him yet.”
“Are you going to give him Johnson?” Leila asked.
“I guess. What do you think I should do?”
“Well, if he’s yours, he’s a Johnson, so the right thing to do is to give it to him, and if later, you find out otherwise, you can have it changed, right?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he said, looking down and rubbing his head.
“Can you send me a picture of him,” she said, and he said he would. When he got back upstairs, he took a few pictures and sent them to Leila’s phone.
She replied, It can’t be. At least I hope not. I don’t C any resemblance to you or the kids.
He was only a couple of hours old, so it was just too soon to tell.
When Ray left the hospital, he called Leila and begged her to let him come over, and after some pleading, she gave in and let him come home. When he walked in, she was on t
he sofa, sleeping.
“Baby,” he whispered.
“Hey,” she said when she opened her eyes.
“Hey, honey, hey,” he said, and they hugged. She sobbed, and he knew why, so he just held his wife. “I know, baby, I know,” he said, and let her cry.
Chapter Thirty-four
It had been six weeks, and the baby was growing so fast, and they still hadn’t done the test. They had two appointments, but somehow, Karen couldn’t make it, and she refused to let Ray take him without her. The first time she wasn’t feeling well, and the second time, she said it had slipped her mind. Leila had seen the baby and even held him, and she kept telling Rayshon that that baby wasn’t his, but he knew that she wanted it not to be so bad that she may have subconsciously not seen any resemblance.
Ray was at work in his office, and he came across the letter again. He opened it and called Dr. Vernon because he didn’t know how to read his results. The nurse told him that the doctor was with a patient, and she’d have him call him back. Ray was about to get back out on the floor when Karen walked in with the baby in his carrier.
“Karen, what a surprise,” he said, taking the baby’s carrier out of her hand and putting it on his desk. The baby was awake and smiling, and as beautiful as he was, he was missing something—Ray’s features. He even looked at RJ’s and Rayven’s baby pictures, and he wondered why the baby didn’t look like them either. He settled with the fact that he just took after Karen and let it go and started to bond with him.
“Well, we just left the hospital. They got Shon’s sample, and here is your paperwork to go in and give them yours,” she said, handing him an envelope.
“Why didn’t you call me? I would have met you over there.”
“Well, I had to go by there for a visit for myself, so I took the initiative to get the ball rolling. In a few weeks, we’ll have the results, and then we can get past all your doubts, and your wife can stop saying my baby looks nothing like her kids,” Karen said with attitude. She and Leila were stressing Ray out. He just wanted the results so that they could move on to wherever they were going to be as a family.