by Anna Black
“Karen, I need you to realize that this baby doesn’t change anything. I am not leaving Leila, and even if she finds out about this baby and leaves me, there is no you and me,” he said, and she grabbed her stomach and fell back onto the rocking chair. She cried, but he had to go. He wasn’t going to let her throw another hysterical fit that kept him at her place longer than he could stay. He wasn’t in the mood for it that night, and he didn’t have another lie or excuse in him to tell Leila for his tardiness.
He didn’t want to hurt Karen, but she knew from the start that he loved Leila. He walked out, and as soon as she heard the door close, she raced to her phone. She dialed Leila’s number and was ready to tell her that Rayshon was the father of her unborn child, but when Leila picked up, she couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“Hello,” Leila said again, and then Karen hung up. She fell back onto the sofa and wondered what she was going to do. She loved Ray so much she didn’t know how she was going to let him go. For more than six years, she had fantasized about him. She had literally followed him around and fantasized about them being the happy couple that he and Leila were. She knew his schedule and daily routine. She even knew where he lived because she followed him home, and after finding out where he lived, she would drive by and sometimes sit outside of his house for hours, just waiting to see if he’d come out.
She followed him to work, the grocery store, to the dry cleaners, and restaurants when he would take Leila out to dinner. She would sit a few tables over and just watch him eat. It got to a point where she would imagine that he was her husband and set the table for two. She’d even sit there and have a conversation with an empty chair. Karen was so extreme about Rayshon. She would do anything to have him.
The night she had the flat tire was a night when she sat outside dolled up, waiting on him to come out. She followed him, not knowing where he’d be going, and she was super happy to follow him to his first gym. When he went inside, she parked a few parking spaces away from the gym but close enough for him to notice her when she came out. She punctured her tire with a butcher knife from her kitchen, and as soon as she saw him come out, she pretended to be on the phone.
She was exhausted with thoughts of trying to make him hers. She rubbed her belly and hoped the baby would be her winning ticket to his heart. She knew once she proved that this was Ray’s baby, Leila would leave him for sure, and then they could be a happy family.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Christa was happy and still trying to get settled into Devon’s condo and her new life as a married woman. The second bedroom became a closet for all of her shoes and clothing, and she promised Devon she’d box up some stuff and put it in the storage space that they had downstairs in their building. After she packed away half of her life, she grabbed the dolly and began to move boxes out of their condo and into the storage space in the basement.
When she opened the door, she was happy to see it was practically empty. Devon didn’t have a lot of stuff in there. She began to stack her boxes neatly against the wall, where she came across a box that was labeled D&L Vampelt. Naturally, she stopped what she was doing and moved over to the box. She took a deep breath and opened it . . . and she saw a million memories of Devon and Leila’s life and marriage. There were pictures of Devon and Leila when they were children, all the way up to college and then marriage.
She looked through so many prints of Leila and Devon hugged up close together, laughing and smiling. Some were them with their eyes closed, holding each other, and that made Christa sad. She wondered why Devon kept a big box of photos of the two of them. She shuffled through and found more recent pictures of Leila that she wasn’t posing for, as if Devon were just snapping random pictures of her. Some were her just talking, smiling, and laughing, but not facing the camera with a pose, and Christa found them disturbing, but what struck her attention was the large manila envelope that had a few pictures of Leila on Christa’s wedding day.
She had on the black matron of honor dress, and it looked as if the photographer caught every moment that Leila had at their wedding and reception—photos she never saw in her proof package from the photographer.
She closed the box but first took out the manila envelope. She took a deep breath and tried not to cry, but she sobbed loudly because she realized what she thought she could handle was something she couldn’t, and that was her husband still being in love with his ex-wife. Even though she knew she should not have, but she instantly hated Leila and wished she were no longer in her and her husband’s life.
When Devon got home, it was late. He walked in to find Christa lying on the couch asleep with the fireplace burning and an empty bottle of Merlot on the coffee table, and he wondered what prompted that.
“Christa, baby—wake up,” he said and shook her. “Why are you on the sofa?” he asked.
It took her a moment to wake up, and when she focused on him, she realized why she was upset and had drunk an entire bottle of Merlot.
“I just-I just,” she tried to say but began to cry.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.
“I knew, Devon, I knew. Before I married you, I knew. It was right there in front of my face, and I just ignored it,” she cried, and he was confused.
“Chris—baby, what are you talking about?”
“The storage, Devon . . . the damn storage!” she yelled.
“Storage, baby? What do you mean?”
“The box . . . the pictures . . . the memories, the ones you can’t let go. Devon, why did you marry me when you knew that you didn’t love me?” she said.
“I do love you, Christa—baby, I’m lost,” he said, and she reached on the side of the sofa and grabbed the envelope.
“It was our fucking wedding day, Devon, and you had the photographer take pictures of her!” she yelled and threw the envelope at him as hard as she could.
He looked at it, and she figured comprehension dawned because he shook his head. “Baby, listen, I can explain these.”
“Explain what, Devon? How you had him to take a million damn pictures of Leila on our wedding day, or how you paid an extra fee to have them separated for your own personal crazy-ass use? Tell me, Devon, what is there to explain?”
“Look, Christa, calm down, baby,” he said, sitting next to her. Even though she didn’t want to, she listened. “These pictures came in the ten dozen of proofs that we had to select from. You are the one who asked Leila to be your matron of honor, and the only reason why I have these is that I didn’t want you to get upset because you are the one constantly throwing something about Leila in my face. This had nothing to do with me. I didn’t ask the photographer to take a dozen of extra pictures of her,” he explained.
“Why do you still have them?” she said barely above a whisper.
“Well, I had no intention of keeping them. I was going to give them to Leila and let her see if she wanted any of them. I put them in the picture box. I planned to ask her over to go through the box to see what pictures she wanted because that box has pictures from both of our pasts. Time got away, Christa, and since we’ve been married, I haven’t had the opportunity to ask her over,” he said, lying, but he honestly didn’t want to hurt Christa. He wasn’t over Leila, but he was all in with his marriage to Christa. He knew he and Leila would never be again, and he truly did love Christa and wanted her happy, so he couldn’t admit to still harboring feelings for Leila. “And to be honest with you, I forgot that I even had these,” he said, tossing them to the side. She didn’t believe him.
“Devon, don’t lie to me. Are you over Leila?” she asked, turning to him.
“Do you really have to ask?”
“I wish I didn’t, but—” she said, and he cut her off.
“Do I make you happy, Christa?”
“Yes,” she nodded.
“Do I give you everything you need?”
“Yes,” she said and sniffled.
“Do I ever make you feel at any moment that I don’
t love you?” he asked.
“No,” she whimpered.
“Then cut this bullshit out,” he said and got up. “Will this make you feel better?” he asked and tossed the envelope into the fire. Christa’s eyes bulged in disbelief. “I do what I’m supposed to do in this marriage to keep a smile on your face. If you feel that Leila is an issue, she is your issue, so I suggest you get over it,” he said and walked out of the living room.
She heard him turn on the shower, then looked at the burning envelope and pictures and sobbed again. She knew the truth and the bottom line. Even though Devon was the perfect form of a husband, she could see that his heart was still with Leila, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. For the first time in the six months of their new marriage, she slept on the sofa. She later woke up and was surprised that Devon not only didn’t come to get her to go to bed, but he left the next morning without saying goodbye.
Chapter Thirty
“Hello,” Leila answered.
“Hey, Leila, this is Catrice, and I’m so sorry to bother you,” she said. Leila wondered why Catrice was calling her and not Rayshon.
“It’s okay, what’s wrong?”
“Well, I’ve been here all morning, and Josh called in, and then Sean hasn’t shown up, and I need help.”
“Where’s Ray?”
“That’s the thing. He left maybe about an hour ago. I’ve tried his phone, but he’s not picking up. I go to school on Wednesdays, and no one’s here to relieve me. I’m stuck, and I can’t miss class, Mrs. Johnson. I just can’t miss my classes.”
“Oh, no worries, Catrice. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Hang tight,” she said and hung up. She told Tabitha she had to head to the gym, and Tabitha was fine with that. She called Ray several times and wondered why he didn’t answer. When she got there, she relieved Catrice. Five minutes later, Sean walked in, and when he saw Leila, he started explaining how he had to keep his son, and his prepaid phone was off so that he couldn’t call.
Leila didn’t fuss. She just told him it was okay, and then she headed to Ray’s office. She called him again and wondered why he wasn’t answering. She sat at his desk, saw a stack of mail, and went through it. She came across a Mastercard bill and wondered what other expenses he had, so she opened it. She looked at the store names and the items that were purchased. They were all baby stores. She tilted her head in confusion. Rayven was a little over a year now, and Rayshon hadn’t walked into the house with one baby item in his hand for quite a while.
She sat there, trying to figure it out, and then her phone rang. It was Ray.
“Hello,” Leila said, trying to stay calm.
“Hey, baby, I’m so sorry. I’ve been busy this morning with back to backs. What’s up?” he asked, and Leila was surprised to hear him lie so easily.
“Oh, you’ve been at the gym all morning?”
“Yea, and I just came into my office and saw I missed your calls, babe. What’s up?” he asked.
Leila pushed back from his desk because she had to brace herself for this reality check he was about to give her. “Well, what office are you in because I surely don’t see you in this office,” she said. “And tell me why I just opened a Mastercard bill for over two grand for baby items?” she asked, and at first, Rayshon said nothing. “I know you hear me,” she barked.
“Baby, I’m sorry. Stay there. I’m on my way so we can talk,” he said, and Leila’s heart stopped.
“No! You fucking talk right now, Rayshon. What’s going on?”
“Leila, baby . . . I—” he tried to say.
“Oh my God, Rayshon—no . . . no . . . no. It’s Karen? Is it Karen?” she yelled.
“Leila, stay put.”
“No, I won’t,” she said and grabbed her purse. She raced out the door and ran to her Armada and jetted across the street. She parked illegally and ran through the ER doors. “Where’s Karen? Nurse Karen?” she asked the lady at the desk, and before the lady could reply, Karen walked out of the double doors, and when Leila saw her stomach, she almost fell to the floor. Karen must have realized who she was because she stopped dead in her tracks, but Leila quickly approached her. “Is it—is it Rayshon’s?” Leila yelled, and Karen looked at her teary-eyed and nodded.
Leila instantly charged her as if she weren’t pregnant. “You bitch! You stank bitch!” Leila yelled. An orderly quickly pulled Leila off her and restrained her. “You home-wrecking bitch!” Leila screamed. “You can’t have my husband, you tramp. You ain’t taking my husband,” she yelled before the orderly pushed her out the doors.
“Ma’am, you have to leave before we call the cops,” he said.
“Call the motherfucking cops!” Leila yelled, spitting on him with her words. This was the ultimate pain, and she wanted to kill Karen and Rayshon. “If that bitch comes out here, I’m going to fuck her ass up,” Leila yelled. The hospital security pulled up, and Leila didn’t care. She was beyond angry. She wanted to hurt Rayshon just as much as she wanted to hurt Karen.
“Ma’am, we are going to need you to calm down,” one officer said.
“Fuck you!” Leila spat. “Don’t fucking touch me. That bitch thinks she can take my fucking husband. She thinks she can just spread her ho-ass legs and get knocked up by my husband. If she comes out here, pregnant or not, I’ma whip her ass!” Leila yelled. The security officer tried to calm her down, but it was no use.
“Look, ma’am, I understand there is a personal issue going on, but if you don’t calm down and stop making threats, we will have to restrain you and be forced to call the law,” he said. Leila looked at him with her heart racing. Her chest rose up and down like a balloon being inflated and deflated at a rapid speed.
“Are we done?” she asked the security officer as calmly as she could.
“Yes, if you are leaving the premises,” he said. Leila didn’t answer. She just walked away to her truck. She got in and cranked her engine and forced back the tears that wanted to drop. She was furious, and she knew going home was not an option. She drove to a place that she hadn’t been to in years and parked. Then she slowly walked to her mother’s resting place, and when she saw the writing on the stone, she fell to her knees.
She cried for more than ten minutes before she could speak. “Here I am, Ma, your one and only child, and I’m in a pickle,” she said, then laughed because that is the phrase her mom would always refer to when there was a bad situation.
“I know I haven’t visited in a while, not since RJ was two, and now you have a granddaughter named Rayven, but I’m sure you know that already since you’re in heaven with God,” Leila said and paused. “Truth is, I wish you were here with me to tell me what to do, Ma. Today was the worst day of my life. I mean, I thought I had bad days with Devon, but this one right here is more than I can handle.
“Rayshon has fathered another child with a woman he looked me in my eyes and told me he wasn’t sleeping with, Ma, and I fell for it, even though my gut said no. I took him back, and now, this chick Karen is, I don’t know . . . Hell, it looks like she’s ready to deliver, and he never said a word, Ma, not one word. And the sad thing is I still don’t want to leave him,” she cried.
“I wish you were here, Ma. God, I wish you were here,” she said. Suddenly, someone yelled out to her that they were closing in ten minutes, and she nodded.
“I know you adored Devon, Ma, but Devon is not the same man you and I fell in love with, and since you’re looking down on us, you should know that Devon has a wife now,” she said because she felt a voice on the inside telling her to go to him.
“I can’t, Ma. I love Rayshon, and as bad as it looks, I want to stay with him, even if it takes accepting this child. Rayshon may have lied, but I know that man loves me, and I may be a fool, but I love him, Ma, so much, and as bad as I want to punch him in the face right now, I can’t walk away,” she said and touched her mom’s headstone. She brushed away the debris on it and headed back to her truck. She decided to go by Devon’s and talk to him b
efore she went home to deal with Rayshon. She loved him and didn’t want out, but she needed space to keep from severely hurting him.
Chapter Thirty-one
When Leila arrived at Devon’s, she didn’t see his car, but she saw Christa’s, so she knew someone was home. Even though she really wanted to talk to Devon, she and Christa were friends, so she knew she could confide in her. When she got to the door, she rang the bell, and Christa came to the door looking sad.
“Come on in, Leila. I was on my way out,” she said, and Leila saw two suitcases on the living room floor.
“What, you got a modeling gig overseas or something? Those bags look pretty heavy,” Leila asked, looking at Christa like she never saw her before. Her face was pale with no makeup, not even mascara, and her curly locks were pulled up in a homemade ponytail.
“No, I’m leaving Devon,” she said, and Leila almost passed out.
“What—why? Why are you leaving him, Christa?”
“Because I’m not you,” she said with her head down.
“Aw, Christa, come on. You know that Devon and I are no longer, so why are you walking out on him? Devon and I barely even talk anymore. All we have in common is Deja,” Leila said.
“Well, Leila, that may be all you have in common with him, but that man loves you. He’s madly in love with you, and I can’t do this anymore. I can’t compete,” she cried, and Leila rushed over to her.
“Christa, listen, I know that you think it’s about me, but it’s not. Devon may have something going on for me, only because we were so close at one point, but I promise you that he loves you, Christa. Please don’t leave him, please don’t break his heart. Devon married you out of all the women I saw him trying to date. He married you, and that’s a grand gesture, Christa, please give him a little credit. Devon is a great man when he wants to be, and from what I see, Christa, he treats you like royalty. In fact, he treats you better than he ever treated me,” she said, looking Christa in the eyes.