by Joss Wood
“If I don’t leave soon, Lex, I’m going to be late. What’s on your mind?”
Alex sipped, sighed and sipped again, before finally getting to the point. “I...um...think we should put this on hold, at least for a while.”
“This meaning us?”
Alex nodded. “I’ve got a lot on my mind, so much to do, and while this has been fun, it’s taking time and energy I don’t currently have.”
Daniel felt the prick—hell, stab!—of dismay and pushed the pain away. Sure, he hadn’t expected this to last forever, but damn, he and Lex were good together. They enjoyed each other, knew exactly how to make each other writhe and squirm and scream. It would be a good long while, Daniel admitted, before he could even think about sleeping with someone else.
Because Alexis—warm and wonderful—was truly one of a kind.
Alex looked like she was waiting for an answer, so he shrugged and uttered the only word he could wrap his tongue around. “Okay.”
Disappointment flashed in her eyes. At his one-syllable answer or because he wasn’t arguing for them to carry on?
“I’d also like to tell our grandparents that we are wise to them trying to set us up with other people, that they can’t interfere in our love lives,” Alex stated, her voice determined.
“You want to tackle them together? In the same room?” Daniel heard the skepticism in his voice. “Would Royal survive the fallout?”
“I think it would have more impact,” Alex stubbornly replied.
“They’ve avoided each other for five decades, Lex. You’re not going to get them in the same room, at the same time.” This feud was exhausting but it wasn’t theirs to fight. Gus and Rose had decades of tumultuous history to work through, and Daniel wasn’t fool enough to get sucked up in that craziness.
Besides, he had bigger things to deal with, like Alex cutting him off. He didn’t want this to end... “You sure this is what you want to do, Lex?”
Alex lifted her shoulders, dropped them and released a long-suffering sigh. “I’m tired of the lectures, the disapproving looks from Gus. I’m tired of sneaking around. I need more sleep and I have a couple of personal decisions I need to make. You’re a...complication.”
A complication, huh? “It’s just sex, Alex.”
Was that reminder directed at her or himself?
Annoyance glimmered in Lexi’s gorgeous blue eyes. “Of course it is, but since it’s sapping my time and energy, it needs to stop.” She looked away from him, shrugged before dragging her eyes back to his. “Maybe once the auction is over, after the holidays, if I’m around, we could maybe pick things up again.”
So many maybes, Daniel thought, pulling on his boot. Wait, what did she say? “You said, if you’re around? Are you thinking of leaving?”
Another thought to cool his head. He definitely wasn’t getting enough sleep!
“I’ve had a job offer that might take me back to Houston,” Alex said. “I’ve stayed in Royal longer than I thought I would. My plan was always to return there.”
“What’s the offer?” Daniel asked, standing up and tucking his shirt into his jeans.
“Managing partner in a social media strategy firm. It’s a good offer. I’ve always wanted to be my own boss.”
He quirked a brow. “Isn’t that what you are here on the ranch?”
“Gus is still the boss, Dan,” she reminded him. “And while I can run the finances, I’m not a rancher. In Royal, everything has a memory associated with it. My parents, Sarah...”
He heard her unsaid you and could almost taste the emotion in her voice. They’d both had hard childhoods, had been knocked around by life, but he knew that losing her parents as a little girl had rocked her world. And then to lose Sarah, on top of all that, had truly devastated her. “I am sorry, Lex. Sorry for you, for Gus.”
Alex managed a wobbly smile. “Thanks, I appreciate it.” Standing up, she placed her hand on his chest, and Daniel felt his heart rate kick up, his throat tightening. Alex just had to touch him and the thoughts of stripping their clothes off and taking her again were front and center. He forcibly held himself still as Alex stood up on her pretty painted toes to kiss the side of his mouth. “Thanks for this, Dan. It was fun. And maybe it exorcised some ghosts.”
Yeah, but maybe it also, Daniel couldn’t help thinking, created a whole bunch more.
* * *
She’d said goodbye to him as a teenager but watching him walk away as an adult was surprisingly a great deal harder than she’d imagined it would be. She’d been madly in love with him then, but she wasn’t in love with him now, so... Why on earth was she so upset?
You have to let him go. There is no other option. This is not a situation where you can have the cowboy and ride him, as well.
But she still couldn’t keep her eyes off him as he strode toward his dirt bike. Sighing appreciatively, she watched as he threw a long, muscular leg over the saddle and gripped the handlebars, dark curls shining in the early-morning light. Man, he was gorgeous, a perfect combination of Anglo and Hispanic. Olive skin, black hair, those smoldering brown eyes and that lean, powerful physique.
Alex leaned her forearms on the railing of the deck and watched her lover—no, her ex-lover—ride away, ignoring her wildly beating heart. There was no denying that this man had the ability to liquefy her insides, to shut down her thought processes, to invade her thoughts. But he’d also broken her heart, and she’d never give him the power to do that again.
She’d noticed that Daniel was starting to sneak under her skin, that her thoughts went to him at inopportune times—like every ten seconds—and this morning, while making coffee, she’d thought about asking him whether he wanted to attend a country music concert in Joplin with her the following week. They could stay in a bed-and-breakfast, try out that new restaurant she’d heard was fabulous...
Shocked at her thoughts, she’d given herself a mental slap. Daniel wasn’t someone to make plans around, to date, to spend time with. If she was starting to think of him as a potential partner and not just as a fun, sexy hookup, then it was time to cut him loose.
So she did.
When the sound of Dan’s bike faded away, Alex walked back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the expensive Persian carpet beneath her feet. Only in Texas would you find an exquisite Persian carpet on the floor of a very upscale tree house, Alex thought. Only her grandmother Sarah would put it there. Damn, she still missed her. But Sarah, like her parents, was gone, and Alex couldn’t help feeling that the people who loved her the most tended to leave her...
Intellectually, Alex understood that death was a part of life, that people died and hearts got broken. Tough times came along to make one stronger, that everything was a lesson...blah, blah, blah.
But losing her parents and her beloved grandmother long before they were supposed to go was just damn unfair. It was like some bored god was using her heart as a football.
Daniel had left her, too, but his desertion had strangely hurt the most. It was his choice to leave her and it was obvious, even so many years later, that she’d loved Daniel so much more than he loved her...
Alex flopped back onto the bed and placed her arm over her eyes. And that was why she’d cut him loose today: she couldn’t—wouldn’t—put herself in the position of being left brokenhearted again.
Wanting to stop wallowing, she started to make a mental list of everything she had to do today. Getting together with Rachel to plan Tessa’s makeover was high on her list. As the only bachelorette up for auction, they were going to make her the star of the show. Not that Tess needed much help—the girl was stunningly beautiful, both inside and out.
And as the master of the ceremonies, she had to plan her introductions, find some funny jokes to keep the audience entertained. She also had to psych herself into selling Daniel, the only man she’d seen naked in t
he longest time, to some woman with a healthy bank account. That was going to be so much fun.
Not.
Alex felt nausea climb up her throat. Really, she was being ridiculous, having a physical reaction to auctioning off Daniel. Yes, sure, the idea of sending her former flame off on a date with another woman wasn’t a pleasant prospect, but they’d just shared their bodies, not their hearts and souls. She had no hold on him—she didn’t want a damned hold on him, and that was why she’d severed their connection! She was being utterly asinine by allowing her emotions to rule her head, and this behavior was unworthy of a Slade.
But still, the nausea wouldn’t subside and Alex cursed herself as she bolted for the bathroom and made her acquaintance with the toilet bowl.
Two
Late November
Alex stared down at the long list attached to her clipboard, wondering if she would survive this crazy day. And what had she been thinking, agreeing to be the emcee for The Great Royal Bachelor Auction? It was one thing being the master—mistress?—of ceremonies at friends’ weddings and birthday parties, but this auction was a major social event.
What she’d thought would be a small local fund-raiser had morphed into something a great deal bigger and was attracting press attention from media outlets in both Austin and Dallas. The tickets to the function had sold out within a day or two, but the loud demands from wealthy single women from the two cities and the neighboring town of Joplin forced her and Rachel to upscale the event, adding another five tables to the already crowded TCC function room.
Who would’ve thought that this small-town auction for their eligible bachelors would’ve generated so much buzz? Alex flicked through the program, looking at the faces of her bachelors and lone bachelorette. Who was she kidding? If was the perfect opportunity for wealthy singles with money to burn to buy themselves a hot date. Good, because she intended to make them pay mightily for the privilege.
Alex glanced at her watch, saw that it was just past four and looked down at her messy list. The tables were set, and the flower arrangements had arrived and looked superb. The band was doing a sound check and she heard the haunting sounds of a saxophone drifting from the ballroom to this anteroom that would host the bachelors as they were waiting for their turns to be auctioned. Alex walked over to the fridge, yanked open the door and was relieved to see the bottles of beer that would be needed to calm nervous dispositions. She smiled. Her bachelors were successful businessmen, alpha men every one of them, but every time they were reminded that they’d have to stand in the spotlight and be auctioned off like prize bulls, they all looked terrified.
Hearing the door to the greenroom open, she shut the fridge door and turned to see waiters from the Royal Diner entering the room, carrying platters of food. As she well knew, nothing short of a nuclear holocaust would stop her cowboys from eating.
“Hey, guys.” Alex indicated the table where she wanted the platters to be placed. “Those look amazing. What did Amanda send over?”
“The Royal Diner’s famous ribs, sliders, quiches. Doughnut and choc chip cookies for dessert.”
“Please thank Amanda again for her generous donation. The guys and Tessa will appreciate it.” Alex dug in her pocket to pull out a tip. She waved away their thanks, and when she was alone, she placed her clipboard between two of the platters and ran through her list again.
Flowers. Check.
Band. Check.
Food. Check.
Test sound system. That was currently happening.
Tessa’s makeover. Alex checked her watch again. She’d allocated forty-five minutes for her and Rachel to give Tessa a makeover. Well, to be honest, to hold Tess’s hand while the professionals she and Rachel hired did Tess’s hair and makeup. Tess was going to rock the house tonight. Alex smiled. Girl power was a marvelous thing.
Tess reminded Alex of Gemma—she was as humble, as sweet and unaware of her good looks as Gemma had been. Alex pushed her fist into her sternum, thinking of her redheaded, emerald-eyed friend, a band of freckles across her nose. Sixteen years had passed since Gemma’s death, but there were times, just like today, when she felt that Gemma was just waiting for her to call, like she was around the corner, about to stride back into her life.
She still missed her best friend; sometimes it felt like she’d lost her a few weeks back instead of so long ago. But grief, as she learned, had no respect for time. She’d lost her parents at ten, her best friend at twelve and Sarah just a year ago. She remembered her parents as well as she did Sarah. And Gemma as well as she remembered Sarah.
She’d heard that memories fade, that lost ones become indistinct. It had yet to happen to her. She could be doing something mundane and she’d hear Gemma’s laugh, Sarah’s voice or smell her mom’s scent, and grief would slam into her, stopping her in her tracks.
When the pain subsided, just a little, she was left feeling abandoned, so damn alone. She was able to wrangle grief back into its cage, but those other feelings always lingered, casually snacking on her soul.
Could anyone blame her for pushing people away? She loved hard and she loved deep, giving all that she had. Sometime in the future, hopefully a long time from now, she’d have to face losing her grandfather Gus. Losing him, she hoped, would be easier than losing her parents, Gemma and Sarah. They’d all died way before their times, but hopefully her healthy and fit grandfather would live until he was a hundred and slip off in his sleep after a life well lived. She could live with that—it was the circle of life—and unlike before, she wouldn’t feel abandoned.
Alex flipped the program over and traced Daniel’s gorgeous face with the tip of her finger. Although she was right to put some distance between them, she still ached for him for him with every fiber of her being. Warmth pooled through her as she remembered the way he kissed her, the way his clever hands would stroke her body, the rasp of his stubble, the play of hard muscles under her hands.
The growl of his voice against her mouth, painting her skin with sinfully sexy words...
Tonight is all about making you weep as I pleasure you...
Just feeling your eyes on me makes me so hard.
You’re going to pass out from satisfaction...
Daniel was a master of the art of talking dirty, using words and phrases that upped the sexy factor by 1000 percent. Then he lived up to his words with his skillful touch and used his mouth like a Jedi Master.
She missed him...
No, her body missed him. Her body missed him a whole bunch...
But stepping away from Daniel had been a wise move and one she’d make again. Her self-protection instinct had been carefully, meticulously honed and was now scalpel sharp. Nobody would slice and dice her again.
Alex shoved the program under the rest of her papers and straightened. Returning to her list, she lifted the plastic cover off the nearest platter and reached for a doughnut. She groaned as the treat touched her tongue, sighing at the prefect combination of fat and sugar.
God, so good. Alex chewed, swallowed and chewed again, polishing off the doughnut in three bites. She reached for another and it was halfway to her mouth when she heard a horrified gasp from the doorway.
“What the hell are you doing, Slade?” Rachel demanded, hands on her slim hips, brown eyes narrowed.
Alex pulled off a piece and chewed. Swallowing, she lifted her eyebrows at the astonished look on Rachel’s face. What was her problem? “Um, eating a doughnut? Freshly made, courtesy of Amanda Battle.”
“Actually, Jillian from the pie shop made them, but that’s neither here nor there.” Rachel stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. “Why are you eating them?”
Was that a trick question? “Because they are good?”
Rachel scratched her forehead, still looking confused. “Alex, I haven’t seen you eat sugar in four years. You don’t eat junk food, ever.”
Alex looked at the doughnut in her hand, puzzled. Rachel was right, she never ate junk food and very infrequently ate carbs. So why on earth was she eating one now? And, knowing that, why was she unable to throw it in the trash?
Alex popped the last of the doughnut into her mouth and contemplated her actions. Was she finally losing it? Was the stress of organizing the bachelor auction, breaking up with Daniel and trying to work through the job offer she’d had from Houston finally getting to her?
“Alex, are you okay?”
“It’s just a doughnut, Rach. Okay, two little doughnuts,” Alex retorted. Then she reached for a paper napkin and wiped the powdered sugar off her fingers. “My sugar levels are probably low. I just needed a boost.”
“I’d believe that if I didn’t see the way you refused coffee this morning, wrinkling your nose at the smell. And last night you drank some chamomile tea.”
“I had indigestion.”
“You loathe chamomile tea,” Rachel pointed out.
Was her best friend trying to make a point? Because if she was, she was taking a hell of a long time to get to it. “You’ve obviously got something to say, Rachel, so why don’t you spit it out so I can get back to work?”
“Ooh, grumpy,” Rachel quipped, stepping forward to grip Alex’s biceps with her hands. “Honey, I think you are pregnant.”
Alex had never thought it possible that she could feel like she was burning up from the inside, as well as feeling soul-deep cold. “Okay, that’s simply not funny.”
“Am I laughing?” Rachel asked, her expression serious. “Alex, having been through this myself, I can spot a pregnancy at fifty paces. You, my friend, are pregnant.”
“Stop saying that!” Alex hissed, panic closing her throat. “I can’t be! I had my period...”
Rachel lifted her eyebrows, patiently waiting for an answer.
“Give me a sec, dammit! I have to think!” Alex pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and clicked on her calendar app. She always kept a record of her cycle and she’d show Rachel that she was talking out of her hat. Alex flipped through dates, didn’t see anything and flipped back a month. Oh man, there was no denying it. She was late.