by Joss Wood
“Apart from eating junk food, has anything else changed? Have you felt nauseous, tired?”
“I threw up a couple of weeks back, felt nauseous once last week and I’m tired because I’ve been organizing this damn function. I can’t be pregnant... Maybe I have a bug! It’s far too early for me to have any symptoms of pregnancy anyway.”
That was the answer, she had a bug, had picked up a virus. Phew!
“It’s not a disease, Alex,” Rachel patiently replied. “And everyone is different.”
“Oh God. Oh God.”
Rachel’s grip on her arms tightened. “Breathe, honey. Let’s think about this logically. Did Daniel use condoms? Are you on birth control?”
“You know I’ve been seeing Daniel?” Alex demanded. “Who else knows? Does Gus? Oh crap!”
“It was a guess, which you just confirmed,” Rachel replied, her voice low and smooth. “So, condoms?”
“Yes, dammit. We are responsible adults who don’t make juvenile errors.” Alex bent over, covered her face with her hands and dropped to her haunches. “But there was one time...he pulled out and then put on a condom. God! No! I can’t be pregnant, Rach. I can’t!”
“I think there’s a good possibility that you are.” Rachel ran a gentle hand over Alex’s hair. “Alex, just breathe. In and out. Good girl.”
Alex sucked in air, using every bit of self-control she had to push away the breath-stealing panic that threatened to engulf her. Still on her haunches, she placed her hand on the floor to steady herself. This couldn’t be happening to her. Why was this happening to her? She’d had a hot, passionate fling with a man she’d always been attracted to. They’d used protection... She wasn’t supposed to end up pregnant! This wasn’t how her life was supposed to go.
And in a couple of hours, she had to go onstage, act charming and auction off the father of the baby that might be growing in her womb. Noooo...
Rachel pulled her up to standing position and cupped her face, her eyes radiating support and sympathy. “Alex, there’s nothing you can do about it now. In the morning, we’ll go and buy you a pregnancy test and I’ll hold your hand while you do it. For now, try to set it aside. We have a function to host, an evening to orchestrate.”
Alex heard a couple of unladylike curses leave her lips. “I won’t be able to concentrate until I know, Rach.”
“You won’t be able to concentrate if you do,” Rachel pointed out.
“No, it’ll be better if I know. I far prefer to deal with reality than what-ifs.” Alex sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and felt the sting of tears. “I have to know, Rach.”
Rachel wrinkled her nose. “We need you here, Alex.”
Alex pushed her shoulders back and blinked away her tears. “And I will be, Rachel. I promise you, I won’t let you down. I’ll run to the superstore just out of town and I’ll use the facilities there to do the test. I’ll be back in thirty minutes, forty at max.”
Too many people had let her down, pregnant or not, so she wouldn’t do that to her best friend. She’d made a commitment to this evening and she’d honor it, baby or not. But she had to know. It was a burning compulsion, a primal need.
Rachel shrugged. “Okay.”
Alex gave her a brief hug, pulling away before she completely lost it and started to ugly cry. She handed Rachel the clipboard, and then she all but ran to the door, yanked it open and slammed into a hard wall.
Another set of hands held her biceps; this time they were far bigger and rougher than Rachel’s but oh-so familiar. Alex inhaled Daniel’s distinctive scent and lifted her eyes to his chiseled face, sweeping them over his sensual lips and meeting his dark, brooding eyes.
Then, to her mortification, she heard a suppressed sob escape and felt the trickle of tears down her cheeks. Daniel’s grip tightened on her biceps as she rested her forehead against his chest. God, she couldn’t do this, she couldn’t be pregnant.
“Lex, what’s wrong?” For a moment, she wished she could lay her fears on him, allow him to enfold her into his strong arms, trust him to hold her up, have her back. But that was foolishness—she couldn’t trust anyone. There was only one person she could rely on and that was herself. After all, she couldn’t lose herself.
“I... It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
He remained silent as he lifted one hand to gently stroke her hair,
And, man, even though she knew she should pull away, she couldn’t bring herself to. Not yet. Just once, it would be nice not to have to stand alone and be strong, to allow someone else to carry some of her burden.
But that wasn’t the way she operated.
Even so, Alex relished the feel of Daniel’s hand on the back of her head, his lips against her temple. “Lex, I need to know what’s upsetting you.”
He almost sounded like he cared. But that was a lie. He loved her body, loved making love to her, but he didn’t care enough. Not to stick by her when things got tough, when she asked him to choose her. She’d made the mistake of relying on him when she was a teenager, and she knew not to do that again.
Alex shoved away from Daniel, swiped annoyed fingers across her eyes to wipe away the tears blurring her vision and sent him a hard smile. “I’ve got to go.”
“Wait! What’s wrong with you?” Daniel demanded. “Why are you crying? Dammit, Alexis, talk to me!”
She sent him a quick brittle smile. “Talking wasn’t part of the deal when we were lovers, Daniel, even less so now. If this turns out to be something you need to know, I’ll tell you, but for now, butt out! Okay?”
Alex moved away from Daniel, but she clearly heard the words he threw at her back. “You’re crying, Lex! How am I supposed to let you just walk away?”
Alex turned, walked backward and spread out her hands. “It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve done this, Daniel. Ten years ago, I walked away from you in tears and you let me go. Let’s repeat history, okay?”
* * *
Daniel watched Alex stride away from him, bunching his fists as he fought the urge to go after her, to shake her until she spilled her secrets. But, God, she was right. They weren’t lovers anymore and even when they were—a handful of hookups over the past two months—they hadn’t spent their time talking. That wasn’t what they’d wanted from each other...
They’d wanted sex, hot and fast and furious. They’d wanted deep kisses and gliding hands, bone-melting pleasure and mindless nights, an escape from the day-to-day world that they lived here in Royal. They’d always, even when they were kids, had the ability to separate themselves from reality, to pretend that the outside world didn’t exist. And they’d done that again, using sex as an escape, as a way to divorce themselves from their lives.
When they were entangled in one another’s arms, he wasn’t a Clayton and she wasn’t a Slade. They were just Dan and Alex, two people who’d once loved each other with all the force and fury that was only possible when you were a teenager, before life showed you the million shades of gray between black and white. He shook his head at his youthful folly; he’d been such a sap for her.
But his days of being a sap for anyone were long over.
“Are you just going to stand there, staring into space?”
Daniel looked into the room that he’d been told was where the bachelors and Tessa were supposed to wait and saw Rachel standing by the refreshment table, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed.
“Can you tell me what that was about?” he asked. Rachel was Alex’s best friend and the two were said to be close. But how close? Like him, Alex had never been one to wear her heart on her sleeve and they rarely, if ever, had deep and meaningful conversations. Did she have those types of conversations with Rachel? Had she had them with another lover?
And why did that thought feel like the tip of a burning cigarette incinerating his stomach? He had no claim on Alex. There was no
thing between them but one blissful summer long ago and some recent hot sex.
He had no claim on her. He didn’t want to have a claim on anyone and most definitely didn’t want someone to have a claim on him. With attachments came pain and he was happy with his own company, to live his life alone.
People, and their expectations and emotions, drained him.
“Is there anything you can tell me?” Daniel demanded, shoving his hands into the front pocket of his battered jeans. In an hour or two he would swap his jeans and flannel shirt for a designer tuxedo, but for now he was comfortable. With what he was wearing, at least.
“Nope,” Rachel replied, shaking her head. She lifted her clipboard. “I have a ton of work to do.”
“And that is why I’m really surprised Alex bolted out of here like her tail was on fire. With her work ethic, normally you’d have to pry her away with a crowbar.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Daniel.”
Tell me what’s going on! Tell me why Alex was crying. Tell me something, anything to help me understand. Daniel rubbed his hands over his face, before turning to head out the door. He needed a whiskey, possibly two. Anything to help him numb his worry about Alex, his annoyance that he’d agreed to be part of this dumb auction. Not to mention the vague apprehension that no one would bid on him, the bastard son of Royal’s wildest child.
God, now he sounded like a loser wallowing in self-pity. He’d brought The Silver C back from the brink of ruin, was regarded as one of the most talented young ranchers in the state. He was rich, respected. Who the hell cared that his mother was a crazy narcissist who was incapable of love and that his father had walked out on them before he was born?
“Daniel.”
He was about to step through the door when he heard Rachel speak his name. He turned around slowly and saw the anxiety in her eyes. Oh crap, this was bad. “Yeah?”
Rachel hesitated and blew air into her cheeks. “Nothing. Ignore me.”
Daniel growled his frustration and threw up his hands. “For God’s sake, Rachel! What?”
Rachel’s hands were white against her clipboard. “Tonight, later, when you run into her, just be gentle, okay?”
And what, in the name of all that was holy, did that mean?
Three
Daniel loved his grandmother—he did—but right now, he didn’t like her. Not even one little bit. It was her fault that he was dressed in this stupid suit with a noose around his neck. She’d nagged him until he agreed to take part in this auction, and he’d finally relented, thinking that it was easier to say yes than listen to her harangue him. It was because of her that he’d have to go and stand on that stupid stage while his old ex-girlfriend and his recent ex-lover auctioned him off like a piece of meat.
And his grandmother’s latest little surprise? Well, as one of the most eligible bachelors in the area, and one of the wealthiest, she’d informed him about meeting with a lifestyle reporter who was covering the auction. She and the journalist had discussed the possibility of Daniel giving an interview on whether his hopes and expectations of this evening lived up to the reality...
He had only one hope—that he managed to keep control of his seldom-seen-but-explosive temper—and exactly zero expectations.
And his grandmother was doomed to be disappointed. He had no intention of doing any damn interviews.
“Hi, Daniel.”
Daniel whipped his head up and saw Tessa Noble standing by the refreshment table, her hand holding a quiche. Judging by the comments his grandmother had recently sent his way, he knew that she hoped that he and Tessa would finally connect, but unfortunately he only had eyes for an annoying blue-eyed blonde. But...hot damn. Tessa had always been attractive but tonight she was smokin’ hot.
“Tessa? God, you look...incredible.” Daniel shoved a hand in the pocket of his pants. “What are you doing here?” As soon as he asked the question, he had his answer. “Wait... Are you the surprise?”
Of course she was. It was classic Alex, when the crowd was expecting one thing, to do the exact opposite. And Tessa, looking like five million dollars, was a hell of a surprise.
“Guilty.” Tessa blushed.
“Everyone will definitely be surprised,” Daniel said. Oh, smooth, Clayton. Just tell the woman that her normal look is subpar. Which it so wasn’t. “Not that you don’t look good normally.”
“It’s okay, Daniel. I get it,” she mumbled around a mouth full of quiche. “It was quite a surprise to me, too.”
Distracted, Daniel leaned his shoulder into the wall, darting a quick look toward the door, hoping to see Alex. He’d sent her a couple of text messages, asking if she was okay, but she’d yet to respond. He needed to know whether, at the very least, she’d stopped crying. If she hadn’t, she’d not only go onstage with red eyes, but he might be compelled to kick someone’s ass. If she ever deigned to tell him whose ass needed kicking.
Daniel turned his attention back to Tessa. “You must be tired of people telling you how different you look. How did Tripp and Ryan react?”
There was something between her and Ryan, something more than the best friends they professed to be. Any idiot could see it and maybe that was why he’d never asked Tessa out on a date. Subconsciously, he supposed he always felt that if he asked Tessa out, he would be violating the bro code. And since Ryan was a good friend, that wasn’t happening.
“Neither of them has seen me yet. I’m a little nervous about their reaction.”
She had a right to be. Ryan would take one look at her and, if he was as smart as Daniel knew him to be, would take her to bed and keep her there.
“Don’t be. I can’t imagine a man alive could find fault with the way you look tonight.” Oh crap, that had come out wrong. “Or any night...of course.”
Tessa laughed and Daniel smiled at her, feeling at ease in her company.
Tessa walked toward him and laid a hand on his arm. “You know why I feel like a fish out of water. But are you okay? You look out of sorts.”
He really had to try to look like he was enjoying this evening, like he was looking forward to meeting his date. He wasn’t, but as a Clayton he had a duty to his community and to the event. He wanted Alex to succeed, he wanted this evening to be a resounding success. He just didn’t want to stand there, wanting one woman while being auctioned off to another...
Damn you, Gran.
Normally Daniel would deflect the question, change the subject, so he was surprised to find himself giving Tessa an honest answer. He sighed heavily, the frown returning to his face. “For one thing, I’d rather not be in the lineup. I’m doing this at my grandmother’s insistence.”
“She seems like a perfectly reasonable woman to me.” Ha! When his grandmother wanted something, she was as subtle as a combine harvester, or as an F5 tornado. “And she loves you like crazy. I’m pretty sure if you’d turned her down, she would’ve got over it pretty quickly.”
She really didn’t know Rose Clayton. His grandmother would make her displeasure known. Quietly but consistently. He shrugged, feeling the need to explain. Damn, Tessa Noble was easy to talk to. Strange that he could talk to her and not want to rip her clothes off, but with Alex, he wanted to do the exact opposite. “I owe my grandmother so much. I don’t know where I would’ve ended up if it wasn’t for her. Makes it hard to say no.”
As difficult and demanding as she could be, Daniel would do whatever he could to make his grandmother happy. She’d taken a lost boy of mixed heritage and made him the man he was today. He owed her, well, a hell of a lot. Everything.
Daniel thought the subject was closed, but then Tessa spoke again. “You said ‘for one thing.’ What’s the other reason you didn’t want to do this?”
Oh damn. The last thing he wanted to do was to get all touchy-feely here. But, God’s honest truth, the thought of making small talk with ano
ther woman, listening to her flirt, feigning interest in her life while the woman he really wanted to be with wanted nothing to do with him, made him want to put his fist through a door. Or a wall.
As easy to talk to as Tessa was, there were some things he’d never discuss. With anybody. He’d especially never admit to his ongoing, long-term obsession with the girl next door.
“Okay, bachelors and bachelorette.”
Daniel heard Alex’s command and forced himself to turn around. When he did, he noticed that not only had she entered the room but so had the rest of the bachelors who were up for auction. But his attention was completely captured by Alex. He started at her face, looking for signs of tears, and yep, her eyes were red. But her face was composed, and she had her emotions under control. Daniel released the breath he’d been holding and allowed his eyes to rove. Her hair was pinned up into a sexy knot, and her makeup was expertly yet subtly applied. His eyes widened as he took in the plunging high-slit silver dress she wore like a second skin. It was obvious that she wasn’t wearing a bra and he had to wonder whether she’d forgone panties, as well.
Daniel licked his lips.
She looked magnificent, sexy, ravishing, so damn doable. He wanted to go caveman on her by tossing her over his shoulder and taking her straight to bed. Or following her down to the nearest flat surface. Hell, even a door or a wall—he wasn’t picky.
Dammit. He’d seen lots of beautiful woman before, and had bedded several of them. But Alex was beyond beautiful. She was... God, what was that word? Alluring? Captivating? Entrancing? All three and more?
He wanted her. The thought that he always would terrified him.
“The proceedings will begin in about ten minutes, out in the gardens—which, you have to admit, look amazing. It looks like a real winter wonderland!” Alex said with a wide smile. “So, finish eating, take a quick bathroom break, whatever you need to do so you’ll be ready to go on when your number is called.”