So I’m a Spider, So What?, Vol. 6

by Okina Baba

  Will she hide the fact that she’s a vampire and live among humans or follow the Demon Lord to the land of demons?

  It seems like even the people in this world hate and fear vampires, so if she wants to live among humans, she’ll have to hide the fact that she is one.

  And in that case, she’ll lose the protection of the Demon Lord, who’s going back home to the demon territory.

  In other words, she’d have to fend for herself without the support of the Demon Lord.

  On the other hand, if she goes with the Demon Lord, she’ll have to throw away her status in the human world.

  She is still a child of nobility, not to mention the sole survivor of the Keren family, since the rest were all killed in that battle.

  If she exploits that position to her advantage, she might be able to stage a comeback in Sariella.

  But that’s all hypothetical, of course; whether it would actually work is up to Vampy and Mera.

  And whoever makes the decisions in Sariella, I guess.

  Following the Demon Lord would mean giving up on all that.

  Going to the demon territory would essentially be casting aside her humanity.

  It’s a huge decision that will affect the rest of her life.

  And she only has until we reach the capital of Sariella to decide.

  Her deadline is closing in.

  No matter what she chooses, she’ll have to give something up in exchange.

  And I’m sure she’s going to have a difficult life ahead either way.

  But that choice is up to Vampy. It’s not for me to say.

  She’ll just have to mull it over a bunch and decide on her own.

  Frankly, whatever she chooses makes no difference to me. I don’t care as long as it doesn’t inconvenience me.

  But I can’t say that for our other comrade. He’s inconveniencing me as we speak.

  That’s right. My fellow traveler Mera.

  How is he inconveniencing me? By being super-annoying.

  Day and night, he spends every waking minute brooding nonstop!

  Basically, he’s being so depressing that it makes me mad just looking at him.

  Now, if that was the whole story, it’d be fine.

  I mean, I don’t like it personally, but I could still let it go.

  What I can’t let go is the fact that Mera is hindering my Vampy-raising project.

  I mean, if your beloved servant is acting unusually gloomy, of course it’s gonna get to you.

  As a result, she’s distracted during our training, which means it’s not as effective as it could be.

  Aaargh!

  I hate it when other people hold me back!

  Why do people have to do that?

  In fact, why do other people have to exist at all?

  It’s only because of other people that I have to experience all these annoying feelings.

  So if I just got rid of all the other people in the world, I could live in peace and quiet, right?

  Then I’d never have to have another painfully awkward conversation again.

  What an incredible plan!

  Oh, but one of those other people is the Demon Lord, who I can’t get rid of.

  Okay, never mind.

  That was a terrible plan.

  See? I’m so annoyed that I’m not even thinking straight.

  So Mera’s moping around, Vampy’s too worried about him to concentrate, I’m getting annoyed looking at both of them… Basically, things are growing tenser by the day.

  Mera himself does appear to be aware of the tension and that it’s because of him.

  But he can’t seem to help it.

  He’s trying to act like he’s fine, but no matter what, it always ends up feeling like there’s a cartoonish rain cloud over his head.

  It’s especially obvious whenever they come back from town. The dark mood always multiplies right afterward.

  That’s when the Demon Lord makes us extra-delicious food with fresh ingredients, but thanks to Mera’s gloominess, I can’t even enjoy it properly.

  And that only makes me even madder.

  I feel like I’m going to snap any minute now.

  “Ta-daaa! Let’s have some drinks to lighten the mood today.”

  It’s the next day after everyone else took a trip into another town.

  The Demon Lord, perhaps trying to lighten the tense atmosphere, brought back alcohol for the first time.

  Maybe she’s suggesting we should drink to forget what’s bothering us?

  Well, I guess she’s not wrong that we need to let off steam somehow, and soon.

  “Okay, here you go. You too, White. Sophia… Uh, you probably shouldn’t have any.”

  As she talks, the Demon Lord pours the liquor into cups, handing one to Mera, then one to me.

  Wait, me too? Really?

  I accept the glass from her without thinking.

  Well, I guess I should drink it, since she gave it to me.

  I was underage in my old life, so I’ve never had alcohol before.

  I don’t know what the laws about alcohol consumption are in this world, but it feels like I’m doing something bad, so it’s almost a little exciting.

  Although as far as the laws of Japan go, I’ve already committed all kinds of crimes way worse than underage drinking.

  I take a little sip of the clear liquid in the glass.

  Ooh, it’s sweet.

  Maybe this is that fruit wine stuff?

  Whatever it is, it’s nice and easy to drink.

  But unlike ordinary fruit juice, it comes with a mysterious sensation I’ve never felt before.

  What is this? Huh? Fwuh? Whuh?

  I dunno, but it’s pretty weird.

  I keep taking sips of the wine as I dig in to the food.

  The Demon Lord fills her own glass, too, and drinks it down in one gulp.

  Ooh, she’s good at that.

  Mera seems hesitant about drinking at first, but seeing the Demon Lord and me go at it, he accepts his fate and gingerly starts taking sips as well.

  “Go on—don’t be shy. There’s plenty more where that came from.”

  The Demon Lord pours herself a second glass and gulps it down like the first.

  Then she does the same with a third glass, filling it from the barrel.

  Did you catch that part?

  That’s right. A barrel.

  The liquor the Demon Lord brought us comes in the form of a barrel.

  Can we really drink all that?

  Yes, I wondered about that at first.

  But the Demon Lord keeps chugging away, and she drains most of the barrel by herself.

  And next thing you know, we’re on to the second one.

  A second barrel!

  Even so, the Demon Lord’s gusto shows no signs of slowing.

  This lady drinks like a fish.

  Honestly, she could probably finish the second one by herself, too.

  But that wouldn’t be much fun, so I speed up my drinking along with her.

  This is my first time drinking alcohol, but the more I drink it, the more my head spins.

  But for some strange reason, I feel like I’m getting lighter and happier.

  I’m totally unstoppable right now!

  “Nnngh… Hic… Weeeh…”

  In direct contrast to my excitement, Mera is…crying.

  So he’s one of those weepy drunks I’ve heard about in stories!

  I guess it’s true; they really do cry as soon as they’ve had a drink!

  Wait, now things are getting even more depressing!

  “That’s no good! C’mere, you! You need to drink more!”

  “Guh?!”

  Ah geez, he’s coughing it up. What a waste.

  I guess he doesn’t like it when I try to forcibly pour wine down his throat.

  “Wh-what are you…?”

  “Quit looking so depressed already!”

  I grab his face, pinch his mouth open, and pour wine down there aga
in.

  “Bwuh?! Cough!”

  He starts choking. Maybe it went down the wrong pipe.

  For some reason, it’s so funny to me that I can’t stop laughing.

  “Whoa, White’s laughing. And talking, for that matter! This is wild.”

  The Demon Lord seems amused, but my stomach actually hurts from laughing so much.

  Mera’s having a coughing fit, I’m rolling around laughing, and the Demon Lord is watching on.

  This would probably look pretty weird to a random bystander, huh?

  Just thinking about it makes me start laughing all over again.

  Vampy is asleep, by the way. She was peeved that she didn’t get to drink with us, so she snuck a single sip, and it knocked her out immediately.

  I guess she’s what you’d call a lightweight.

  “Cough! Cough! Whew…”

  Mera finally regains his composure a little but still keeps hacking as he glares at me.

  I guess even Mera can get mad.

  His face, which has turned red from the alcohol and the coughing, is showing much stronger emotions than usual.

  “Hey, that’s a good face. Much manlier than moping around all the time.”

  My casual comment sends Mera’s rage over the breaking point.

  “What would you know about it?!”

  He’s shouting, raising his voice in a way he would never normally do.

  “Do you have any idea how it feels to have lost everything and, on top of that, to become a vampire?!”

  He’s even forgotten to be mindful of the sleeping baby bloodsucker.

  Luckily, the alcohol has her sleeping like the dead, so she doesn’t even stir.

  Y’know, if she heard that, she’d probably be pretty upset…

  Whether because he shouted right after choking or because his pent-up emotions finally burst out, Mera is heaving as he keeps glowering at me.

  Come on, though.

  “Ooh, so that’s the whole reason you’ve been acting like the whole world’s ending, huh? Big whoop.”

  I take another gulp of wine.

  Emptying my glass, I let out a nice big “aaah” before returning my gaze to Mera, who’s now staring at me in frozen shock.

  But then his expression starts twisting back into anger.

  I keep going before he can even open his mouth. “I mean, I’ve died and lost everything once already, too. And I’m a spider—y’know that, right? Not even human shaped. Vampires are just a little weak to sunlight, and they have to drink blood or whatever. You’re not winning any misery awards with that one, pal.”

  At that, his mouth just hangs half-open, but no words come out.

  You lost everything, huh?

  Well, at least you’re alive.

  You still have your life, at least, and the thoughts and beliefs you’ve built up this entire time.

  I got dumped in a whole different world, where all of that is totally useless.

  All I’ve got left are my memories and a bit of knowledge.

  Even my body changed from human to spider. I had to start over from square one.

  You’re a vampire now?

  You really think that’s worse than being a spider?

  I know Mera’s struggling with his human morals or whatever, but I got shoved right into a kill-or-be-killed survival game where I didn’t even have a chance to worry about that crap.

  It’s not like he has to eat poisonous dead monsters if he wants to live.

  Vampires? That’s easy mode. He’s still humanoid; he just has to drink a little blood. Yawn.

  Besides…

  “Would you say the same thing to her?”

  I point at the sleeping baby bloodsucker.

  “She died once and lost everything, just like me. Then she was born as a vampire. And after all that, she went through the same ‘losing everything’ you did, only for her it was the second time. Get it? She’s lost it all twice. But she’s still doing her best to be positive and move on with her life. Can you say the same?”

  Mera gasps and stares at the baby.

  Sure, my circumstances are different from Mera’s. It’s not like I can say I understand everything he’s feeling—all I can do is imagine it.

  But Vampy knows exactly what he’s going through.

  He’s got someone in the same situation as him right here, but he’s acting like he’s the only one who’s facing all these problems.

  He’s not even thinking about her.

  How’s he supposed to be her guardian when he’s acting like that?

  The guy’s just trying to keep up appearances when he can’t even commit.

  That’s what’s annoying me most of all.

  I don’t wanna see or hear about that kind of half-assed BS.

  “If you hate it that much, why don’t you just die?”

  I pour myself another glass from the cask.

  Mera’s eyes are huge now as he stares at me in disbelief.

  What? Did I say something weird?

  “If your life sucks that much, you don’t have to force yourself to keep living it, right? If you wanna die, I can help, you know? I’ll make it as quick as I can.”

  I wanna live, so I’ve never once considered giving up and dying, but hey, that’s just me.

  There are probably some people in the world who do want to end it all.

  If Mera says he doesn’t want to live anymore, I don’t see why he should bother to keep doing it.

  I drink my wine in one gulp and set down the glass.

  Then I pick up my scythe and hold it to Mera’s neck.

  “Well?”

  Mera, presumably sensing that I’m not kidding around, turns from bright red to pale white.

  “I cannot die.”

  His voice is faint, and his lips tremble.

  “Hmm? I can’t heeear yooou.”

  “I cannot die! I must not die yet, especially for the young miss’s sake!”

  Mera doesn’t sound cool by any stretch of the imagination; his shout is more like a shriek.

  But that just shows how much he means it.

  “See? You know what you gotta do, then.”

  I put away the scythe.

  Freed from its blade, Mera slumps down weakly.

  “If you have a reason to live, if you have pride or faith or whatever, what’re you moping around for? You have something to protect, and that’s all there is to it. What difference does it make if you’re a vampire now? Just suck it up, no pun intended.”

  I dismiss Mera’s troubles like they’re nothing at all.

  Pretty cruel, if I do say so myself.

  The only reason I can be so nonchalant about it is that it’s his big problem, not mine.

  But I can’t hide how I really feel about it, either.

  My words shock Mera back into silence, and he clams up.

  His eyes are on the sleeping baby bloodsucker.

  He seems to be off in his own little world now, so I leave him to it and go back to drinking.

  When I wake up again, the world has turned upside down.

  Huh? Looking around, I see that I’m being suspended upside down in midair by a bunch of thread strung haphazardly between two trees.

  How did this happen?

  I have no idea.

  Even when I try to go through my memories to piece things together, I’ve got nothing.

  Let’s see…

  Yesterday, the Demon Lord brought out some alcohol, and we drank it.

  I remember that part.

  But the rest of it is kind of a blur.

  I remember it being tasty and pleasant, but…that’s it? I don’t know what else happened.

  Well, there’s no use hanging around upside down any longer.

  I free myself from the tangled thread and descend to the ground.

  “Good morning.” An extremely clear voice greets me.

  Turning around, I see Mera with a huge, bright smile on his face.

  Huh? Was his personality alway
s like this?

  “Thank you for yesterday. Thanks to you, my doubts have cleared.”

  Yesterday? What’d I do again?

  “I understand now that what’s important is not what I have become but what my actions will be going forward. And I know what I must do. Until yesterday, I was so concerned over what has become of me, I was unable to steady my resolve.”

  Uhhh… I have no idea what he’s talking about…

  “But from now on, I will hesitate no longer. I shall accept the fact that I am a vampire, and I shall protect the young miss with all my strength.”

  Oh, okay.

  Cool. Good luck with that.

  Um, what else am I supposed to say here?

  I’m not sure what happened, ’cause I don’t remember a damn thing, but I guess he figured out his issues somehow.

  Well, I suppose that’s fine as long as he’s going to stop sulking now, right?

  THE SERVANT’S DREAM

  “Merazophis, tonight we drink.”

  “Tonight, Master? That is to say, again?”

  “Come, now—don’t be so stodgy. I simply must drink to carry on.”

  With his duties done for the day, my master produces a bottle of sake.

  This is far from the first time he has requested me to join him in an evening drink.

  According to him, I become more emotional when I have consumed alcohol and voice opinions that I would normally never utter.

  Evidently, the master enjoys hearing such things.

  “Oh dear. Having a good time without me, are we?”

  The door opens, and my mistress enters the room.

  Her eyes are already on my master’s bottle of sake.

  “Seras, you know that if you join us for a drink, you are sure to fall asleep within the hour.”

  “No, I’m quite certain I can stay awake this time.”

  The mistress is quite weak to liquor.

  A single sip can put her right to sleep.

  Nevertheless, she says the same thing every time and never fails to fall asleep.

  The master pours three cups.

  Then he leads a toast, and our cups clink together lightly, emitting a clean sound.

  I enjoy the pleasant fragrance as I bring the drink to my lips.

  My master tends to prefer stronger liquor, but tonight’s drink is quite sweet and smooth in one’s throat.

  Hearing the sound of a glass being placed on the desk, I turn to see my mistress already nodding off, just as I expected.

  My master smiles amusedly, puts his arms around his gently swaying wife, and lifts her with the utmost delicacy.