Twice Blessed

by Taryn Noelle Kloeden

  As soon as his lips pulled away to whisper her name, Rayna’s mouth lowered to his neck. She kissed him above his wild pulse. “Channon?”

  “So about that talk.” He swept her into his arms.

  She gasped, but her surprise dissolved into excitement as her lips found his again. She stopped long enough to catch her breath and speak a few words. “What did you have in mind?”

  Channon carried her to his pallet. He set her down and swung on top of her. “I have a question I need to ask you.” He kissed her again and she rose up to meet him.

  “Channon…” She lowered her head and he kissed her forehead. “I need to tell you something.” The slightest hint of trepidation threaded her voice.

  Channon pulled back, releasing her from his hold. “Are you all right? Did I move too—”

  “No, no, I’m wonderful. You’re perfect.” She took his hand as they settled into a seated position facing each other. “It’s…” She took a deep breath. “I love you, Channon.”

  Though it was a cool night, Channon felt the sun’s rays upon him. A kind of happiness he had never before known overtook him, threatening to bring tears to his eyes. “I love you too, Ray. More than anything.”

  She laughed. “Can you believe it took us this long to say those words?”

  “I can’t believe I wasted so much time saying anything else.”

  She stroked his hand. “Channon, I love you. I want to be your mate.” Rayna smiled crookedly. ”If you’d have me.”

  A laugh rumbled deep in his throat. “I’ll have you anytime you want me.”

  The pink in her cheeks deepened to scarlet. “But if we do this, I want to do it right.”

  “Of course.”

  “And I don’t just mean the vows and everything, I want this—” she gestured between them, “to start how it should. I don’t want us to have any secrets.”

  A coldness fluttered to life in Channon’s stomach. “What do you mean?”

  “I know my timing could be better, but, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s something Kellan said.”

  At the mention of the Sylrian’s name, Channon’s lip curled. He turned his head so Rayna would not see. Why was she bringing him up now of all times?

  Rayna swallowed. She'd obviously seen his reaction. “When he was captured, Terayan said something to him, about you.”

  “About me? What would Terayan possibly have to say about me?” Morbid curiosity rose to meet his jealousy and irritation.

  “It was a lie. It had to be. Kellan told me about it, but he swore to tell no one else. I just think you deserve to know.”

  “Rayna.” He regretted the sharpness in his voice. He forced himself to soften his tone. “You can tell me, my love.”

  “Terayan said you were playing a role.” She shook her head. “He implied you weren’t you anymore. That the person I brought back from Hell wasn’t Channon, or that I brought something else back, too.”

  “Something else?” A sick feeling ate away at the warmth and desire that had filled Channon moments before. “What do you mean?”

  She shrugged. “It’s nothing, he was lying—”

  “Rayna?”

  “I don’t know. Kellan seemed to think a demon.”

  “Kellan thinks I’m a demon?” He wanted to laugh, but a sinking sensation drained the humor from his heart.

  He was different since his return. He enjoyed hurting others, and killing them. Blood lust, vengeance, and fear drove him. Moments before Rayna had arrived, he'd reached that exact conclusion. Those emotions were said to be of Razorn—the father of demons.

  Perhaps Terayan had not been lying.

  The realization stole all traces of desire from his heart.

  Rayna loved him. She loved him so much she couldn't bear to keep secrets from him.

  But could Channon say the same?

  He loved her, but had been so afraid of losing her, he'd been prepared to lie to her about who he was. He had been moments away from pledging himself to her as a mate, and that most sacred of covenants would have been bound by a lie.

  He was so ashamed, he could not stand to touch her anymore. He did not deserve her. Channon jumped to his feet, breathing heavily.

  “No! Channon, Kellan didn’t know what to think.” Rayna stood. “But I do.” She reached out for him.

  Channon shrugged out of her touch. “I—I need some air.” He turned toward the exit.

  “Channon wait!” She blocked the door. “Where are you going? This is your den. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier. Please don’t go!”

  He froze.

  The choice before him was clear. He could tell Rayna the truth. But in trying to be worthy of her love, he risked confirming a truth about himself so vile even she wouldn't be able accept it.

  Rayna loved him, but deep down Channon knew she loved the man she thought he was—the one he used to be.

  If she truly knew him, if she saw how much pleasure he took in killing, and how dark and twisted his soul had become, she would reject him.

  He had to lie, or lose her forever.

  Whatever path he took would be a betrayal. He could not face it.

  “Move.” He did not yell; his voice barely reached above a whisper.

  Rayna looked as if he'd struck her. She had been so certain he would never hurt her.

  How quickly he proved her wrong.

  She stepped aside.

  Channon ran. He shifted and tore off into the night.

  But no matter how quickly he ran, he could not escape the monster he'd become.

  Rayna stood frozen in Channon’s den.

  She'd been a fool to bring up Terayan’s lies. She had wanted to be honest with Channon, but still, she had been tactless.

  He had opened up to her, and she'd forced him to relive the worst part of his life.

  She glanced around Channon’s den. It wasn’t as neat as he used to keep it.

  Suddenly it felt like an invasion of Channon’s privacy to stay there after she'd angered him so much.

  She ran from the den and toward her own. Cold night air whipped her skin. Tears fell down her cheeks, but she stifled her sobs until she walked through her entrance.

  All at once, her cries overwhelmed her. She fell down, weeping. She had waited and waited for the right moment to speak her feelings to Channon.

  When she finally had, she'd ruined everything.

  “Wolfie!” Mina knelt beside her. She wrapped her in an embrace. “You’re all right, you’re all right.”

  Rayna’s breath settled as she leaned against her friend. She gulped down air scented with Mina's rose-and-yew aroma.

  “What’s going on?” Mina wiped away Rayna’s tears with her tunic sleeve. “Everything go all right with the ritual?”

  “Yes.” Rayna swallowed. “Terayan’s out of my head.”

  “It must have been an intense ritual.”

  “It was, but…”

  “But that’s not why you’re crying?” Mina helped Rayna to her feet, bringing her to the closest pallet. “Is it Channon?”

  Rayna nodded. “How’d you know?”

  “I’ve a passing familiarity with romantic entanglements.” She smiled ruefully. “What happened?”

  “I don’t know,” Rayna said. “I went to see him. We hadn’t had any privacy or time to talk since…”

  Mina pulled a fur blanket around Rayna. “Since you kissed at the Peddler’s Toe?”

  “Aye. I wanted to talk to him, to see how he felt now that we weren’t about to die.” She forced a watery smile.

  “Don’t tell me lover boy wasn’t as lovestruck as usual?”

  “No, no it wasn’t that.” Rayna blushed. “He was as excited about being alone with me as I was to be with him. It was perfect. I told him how I felt, and I thought—” The sobs choked the rest of her sentence.

  “Shh, shh.” Mina pulled her arm around Rayna. “You thought you were about to become mates?”

  “Yes, I think so. But
then I upset him and he left and—”

  “Seems like he upset you, too.” Mina said in a clipped tone.

  “No. It’s not his fault.” Rayna could not help but defend Channon even when he'd broken her heart. “I said something I shouldn’t have.”

  Mina turned her attention to the hearth, re-awakening the fire. “What could you possibly have said?”

  Rayna hesitated. She did not want more people to know about Terayan’s lies than needed. “I didn’t want there to be secrets between Channon and me. So I told him about the only one I had. I didn’t think he’d react like this. I don’t understand why he’s so angry with me.”

  “I didn’t think you had any secrets from him.”

  “It was nothing—at least I thought. Something Kellan told me.”

  “Kellan?” Mina sighed. “This is starting to make more sense.”

  “No, it wasn’t anything like that.” Rayna’s heart raced. Was that why Channon had reacted so terribly? Had it been jealousy? The fire's sudden warmth was stifling. She stood and walked closer to the exit.

  “Maybe not to you, but,” Mina said, “men often see things differently than we do. That is to say, they see them incorrectly.” She stood and rubbed Rayna’s back. “Buck up, Wolfie. When Channon calms down, explain whatever this misunderstanding was to him. He loves you. He just gets wrapped up in his own head sometimes.”

  “Maybe you’re right.”

  “Am I ever not?”

  As Rayna’s vision cleared of tears, she noticed the new bow resting by Mina’s pallet. “That’s beautiful.”

  Mina handed it to Rayna. “Isn’t it?”

  Rayna scented a familiar cherry-wood aroma. “Roxen gave it to you.”

  “Can’t keep any secrets from Fenearens, can you?” Her words were light, but they had an edge.

  “Why would it need to be secret?” Rayna asked. She searched Mina’s face, noticing for the first time the red rims around her river-water eyes. “You’ve been crying, too?”

  Mina stroked one of the roses carved in the bow. “Don’t act so surprised. I do occasionally have feelings.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean…I made this all about me. I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t apologize. That was unkind of me to say. I’m not very good at this.”

  “At what?”

  Mina placed the bow back in its place. “Rejection.”

  “Roxen…and you?”

  Mina chuckled. “You know, Wolfie, I used to wonder how you couldn’t see how Channon felt about you for so long. I don’t wonder anymore.” She nudged her with a wink.

  “But what happened with Roxen?”

  “Nothing I shouldn’t have seen coming. Although, a little more information about how strict Fenearen courting conventions can be might have been helpful.”

  “Oh,” said Rayna. :You mean that we mate for life? You don’t think you’d be able to commit to Roxen?”

  “You make me sound so heartless.” She exhaled. “Maybe I am.”

  “You’re not. You have more heart than anyone I know. Not everyone can commit themselves like that. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Plenty of Fenearens don’t, despite what our traditions are.”

  “But Roxen isn’t one of them.”

  “No,” Rayna agreed. “There have been quite a few who fancied him, but he always ended it as soon as he realized they weren’t the one. He wants a love that lasts a lifetime.”

  “And I can’t be mad at him for that.” Mina sniffed. “So now you see my predicament.”

  “I do. But Mina, you have to have faith.”

  “Faith?”

  Rayna took her hand. “It might look impossible now, but you never know what could change. If you and Roxen are meant to be together, you have to believe it’ll happen.”

  “I could say the same to you. Though, I think your odds are a little better than mine.” She patted Rayna’s hand. “No offense, but you look terrible. I think we both ought to get some rest.”

  Rayna nodded, hugging Mina one more time before retiring to her pallet. By the time her mind had relaxed enough to find sleep, the fire had burned down to ashes.

  Rayna fell asleep in smoky darkness, but awoke to a forest of light.

  There was no gold-limned fog or spectral threats.

  She was in Fenear, west of the mulberry grove. She walked, bathed in morning sunlight. She paused to run her fingers down the soft underside of a sassafras leaf.

  “This is as it should be.” Lumae appeared, but Rayna was not surprised by her sudden manifestation. “Your dreams are a place of peace, focus, and knowing.”

  Alvo spoke from her other side. “Even when you see terrible things, as you sometimes must, you are in control of your surroundings.”

  Rayna inhaled. Her dreamscape smelled of berries and morning dew. “Before, when you tried to reach me but Terayan obscured your messages, it wasn't Kellan you were telling me to save, was it?”

  “We wanted to warn you of the Sylrians' plight,” Lumae said, “but you are right. When I spoke of helping the boy, I meant Kado Aronak.”

  “The white wolf,” Rayna whispered. “Can you tell me what it means? Is he a hero like the stories say?”

  Alvo and Lumae exchanged a thoughtful look.

  “Heroism is a choice, not a birthright,” said Lumae.

  “But he has powers beyond an ordinary Fenearen, as you do,” Alvo continued. “What these powers are, and whether they will be used for good or for ill, remains to be seen.”

  Rayna frowned at the half-answer. “All right, but Terayan wanted him for something.”

  Lumae nodded. “Osterna is far safer now that Kado is home.”

  “But these dreams are for your journey, not Kado Aronak's.” Alvo's tone was almost chastising, as if she had pried. “Tell us what you want to see.”

  She almost asked to see Channon, but she felt wrong viewing him without his knowledge or consent. “Terayan. Show me Terayan.”

  “I’m afraid that is not possible,” said Lumae.

  “Though you are free of his influence, he is still cloaked to your sight, as he is ours,” Alvo explained.

  “How is that possible?” Rayna asked. What was the point of having such abilities if she could not use them to know her enemy’s plans?

  “He is able to block both your and Marielana’s magic directly,” Lumae said. “He knows you both, has seen you, and felt your power. With such intimacy, he is able to hide from your sight.”

  “But he does not yet know all of your sisters,” Pheros said. “Find the last before he does, and you may defeat him yet. We have been trying to send you this message for some time, but Terayan did not want you to know.”

  “Sisters? I don’t have any—” she cut off, catching up to the meaning of Pheros’s words. “There’s another seer?”

  This time Pheros and Lumae spoke together, as if reciting a poem. “Count the winds, directions, and seas. How many types of Magic, how many Guardians, and how many are we?”

  “Four,” Rayna said. “Four types of magic, four Founders, four nations…”

  “Find the fourth, Rayna Myana, and you will find the answers you seek.”

  “The fourth? But there are only two of us.”

  “The third line is not your concern.” Lumae shook her head. “Your only hope is the Soulousian seer.”

  “Soulousian? Where can I find her in Soulous?”

  Pheros pointed behind Rayna.

  She turned, and their surroundings changed. Gone were the forests of Fenear, instead they stood in a cultivated field. A red wooden structure filled with animal scents loomed before them.

  “Your sister sought to dull her dreams with potions as you once did. But our Soulousian counterpart, the Goddess Camila, is beginning to reach her. This is the barn where she sleeps.”

  Rayna walked toward the barn, passing through the closed doors as if she were a ghost. Horses slept in stalls, a group of hens nestled together to her right, and light snoring sounded from a hay
-filled loft.

  Rayna followed the sound up a ladder.

  A young woman slept under a thick wool blanket. She was slight in stature, with long black hair twisted in a multitude of tight braids.

  “Her name is Ayalah Dell.”

  Rayna did not recognize the voice speaking to her.

  A woman appeared. She was shorter than Rayna, with dark brown skin and a shaved head. She turned to Rayna, revealing a face of striking beauty.

  “It is good to meet you, Rayna Myana. I am Camila, founder of Soulous.”

  Rayna bowed her head. “I'm honored.”

  Camila smiled, gesturing toward the sleeping Soulousian. “Her name is Ayalah Dell. She is an orphan, like you, living in the village of Kerigan. You must help her.”

  “Help her?” Rayna thought the Soulousian was going to help them, not the other way around.

  “She is lost, afraid of her powers as you once were. Find her, so that she may begin to find herself. Please.”

  The urgency in the goddess's voice surprised Rayna. She thought of the Founders as deities—and so they were. But they were like humans in so many ways.

  Camila loved Ayalah, as Lumae must have loved Rayna.

  Rayna took Camila's hand. “I will. I promise.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Kado spun Isaac’s ring, watching the garnet facets glitter. He'd polished it with an old rag. Being born a slave, Kado had little experience with material possessions. But for some reason this ring—a gift from one of the first people to show him kindness—comforted him. He was glad it had not been lost in the prison break.

  Voices sounded outside. He sat up in his pallet, pocketing the ring. It did not sound like the two Fenearens who had been posted by his door supposedly for his protection.

  “Kado.” The Fenearen Alphena knocked on the door frame. “May we come in?”

  Kado stood. “Yes.”

  Silver, the two Alvornian leaders, and an old Sylrian woman entered.

  The Sylrian tied the leather door dressings back, bathing the room in morning light.

  “Have you eaten?” Silver handed him a clay bowl filled with salted fish and unleavened bread. “Alvornian food,” she explained. “We've rather a surplus of it. I thought it might be closer to what you’re used to.”