Twice Blessed

by Taryn Noelle Kloeden

  “What does that mean?” Rayna noticed the new sweat beading on Davin’s forehead. He needed rest, but first, Rayna needed answers.

  “Terayan sought to raise Razorn, lord of shadows. As such, the sacrifice had to be made in Razorn’s name.”

  “Kado has never done anything in Razorn’s name.” Rayna scoffed.

  “Oh, but we all have.” Davin shook his head. “Anytime we act out of fear, vengeance, or blood-lust—anytime we feed the darkness in our souls, our actions serve Razorn. Just as those borne of courage, selflessness, and love serve Wolnor. Terayan had to ensure that when Kado killed him, it was done for the right reasons—or rather, the wrong ones.”

  “That’s why he bought me, made me fight in the arena, and tortured me with Isaac.” Kado gripped the bed’s foot board, his knuckles turning white. “So that when I had the chance, I wouldn’t hesitate. So that my heart would be filled with hatred and fury.”

  And all will serve the lord with golden eyes. Rayna bit her lip against her own shame. She had pushed Kado to act, and in doing so she'd aided the sacrifice.

  “What I still don’t understand,” Seperun said, “is why he kept Rayna alive. Forgive me, of course I'm grateful, but it doesn’t make sense for him to have deviated from his original plan to kill Rayna, and use her blood after the fact.”

  “To that, I have an answer.” Rayna stood, finding she needed movement to focus her thoughts. “I asked Terayan. He said that Morna Helena’s death changed his plans.”

  Davin snapped his fingers. “Of course, when Morna Helena died, she left no heirs. A seer line had never gone extinct before.”

  “Right. And when it did, the divine magic held within her didn’t revert back to Wolnor. It stayed with her soul.”

  “Meaning, it’s now under Razorn’s power.” Davin nodded. “Razorn and his proxy Terayan got a taste of Wolnor’s power, and realized they could have more, if they corrupted another seer. And who better than the Awakened seer who had broken the Sionic Hex and destroyed Rhael Demetrian?”

  “Corrupt?” Kado asked. “How could they hope to corrupt Rayna?”

  Rayna said nothing. She knew how Terayan had meant to do so, by using Channon against her. But she did not want to share Channon’s secret struggle with anyone, no matter if she trusted them or not.

  Terayan had confirmed her worst fears—that the Sionic Hex had tainted Channon's soul. But she refused to believe the change could not be reversed.

  “Indeed,” said Seperun. “At least we can be certain Razorn will fail in that.”

  Rayna stayed silent.

  Davin held her gaze with a solemn frown. “Yes, well, war is at our doorstep once again. We must prepare.”

  “And is it a war we can win?” Rayna asked.

  “I don’t know,” replied Davin. “But has that ever stopped you from fighting before?”

  “No,” Rayna allowed. “Razorn and his undead armies are coming, and I fear even Rhael’s forces will seem meek in comparison. We must ready the Peninsula for the impending attack.”

  “I agree.” Seperun wiped Davin’s brow with a cloth. “But not tonight.”

  “Markus?”

  Seperun pulled the quilt higher around Davin. “You will rest, old friend. And you two will come with me.”

  “Why? Where are we going?” Kado scrunched his brow.

  “We’re going to collect your friends. Tomorrow, the war for Osterna begins. But tonight?” He clasped Rayna and Kado on the shoulder. “We celebrate what we’re fighting for.”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  By sunset, Rayna and her friends sat around the fire pit Seperun provided in the gardens.

  Silver still rested in the infirmary, though she'd woken long enough to see Rayna.

  The rest of her pack—Channon, Mina, Roxen, Katrine, Kado, and a freshly-bandaged Kellan—relaxed around the crackling blaze.

  Rayna leaned against Channon, inhaling the woodsmoke and his leather-and-pine scent.

  With her eyes closed, it was like being home in Fenear.

  And in a way, she was home.

  As Channon’s bristles tickled her forehead, she almost believed everything would be all right.

  Despite her powers, she did not know what the future held. All she knew was, in that moment, a sense of peace and clarity spread over her.

  A war was coming—bigger than any before it.

  But for now, for this one beautiful night, she had the people she loved most.

  They were together.

  They were alive.

  Terayan may have succeeded in enacting his spell, but Razorn had failed to kill her friends. They had survived the god’s fury once.

  Perhaps, they could again.

  Mina’s musical laugh broke Rayna's reverie. The Kyrean shoved Roxen, as if he'd told a joke. The pair sat next to each other, their crossed-legs touching.

  “Ahem.” Kellan stood. His right arm was in a sling, but he held a wineskin aloft in his left. “The Regent was kind enough to share some of the old regime’s fine aged wine with us, so I propose a toast.” He gestured to a bag at his feet. “Kado, if you could?”

  Kado opened the bag, revealing several tin cups.

  Mina took the skin from Kellan and helped Kado fill the glasses. “I’m the professional here, after all.” She handed Katrine a cup.

  Katrine sniffed it and recoiled. “I don’t like wine.”

  “None of you savages do.” Kellan sighed. “But just this once, you’re going to pretend.”

  Once everyone had a cup, Kellan raised his. “To our baffling, continued survival. I want all of you to know, that no matter what happens next, there isn’t anyone in the world I’d rather face an apocalypse with than this sorry lot. To us!” Kellan drained his cup.

  “Not the most inspiring speech, but it will do.” Channon sipped his drink.

  “To us.” Rayna raised hers before handing it off to Mina as Roxen did the same.

  “Don't mind if I do.” Mina finished their wine for them, before pouring herself and Kellan a refill.

  The unlikely pack settled in for an evening of conversation and laughter.

  As the stars replaced the sunset’s bright colors, Channon, Roxen, and Katrine swapped Fenearen pups’ tales with Mina and Kado, who shared their Kyrean versions in return.

  Rayna took the opportunity to sit next to Kellan on the fire’s other side.

  “You put on a good show, but I know you’re in pain.”

  “You sound like Lonian.” He smiled wanly. ”Of course he meant metaphorical pain, not couple-of-fingers-chopped-off pain.”

  At the mention of Lonian’s name, Rayna faltered. She'd barely had time to grieve him, let alone had Kellan. “Can’t I mean both kinds of pain?”

  He chuckled. “You can mean whatever you’d like, Red.” He drank. “I miss him, like you miss your uncle, I’m sure.”

  Bayne. The thought of almost losing Silver had brought that deep ache to the surface. “I wish Bayne were here,” she whispered. “Now, of all times, I wish he were here.”

  “I know.” Kellan offered her his cup.

  She laughed. “Is that your solution to everything?”

  He shrugged. “Are you suggesting you know a better one?”

  “Kellan.” She took his good hand. “Thank you for saving Channon. But I have to ask—“

  “Why did I bother trading a couple fingers for your lover, considering how little I trust him?” he whispered.

  “Something like that.”

  “I still think there's something off with Channon,” he admitted. “But Mina reminded me that even if I don't trust him, I should trust you. And more than that, the truth is Red, I want you to be happy.”

  Rayna smiled. “You're a good man, Kellan Kemar.”

  “Damn right I am.” He winked.

  Raucous laughter from their friends interrupted their conversation.

  Rayna missed the jest, but laughed along anyway. It felt good to laugh and smile.

  “Well
, with that. I think I’m off to bed.” Mina stood and stretched.

  “I’ll walk with you,” Roxen offered.

  “If you insist.” Mina held out her hand.

  After a beat, Roxen took it.

  The pair walked back toward the silk tents Seperun had pitched for them.

  Kellan addressed those remaining. “Do we think that’s a good idea?”

  Kado yawned. “What?”

  “They’re only friends,” Katrine said. “And besides, even if they became something more, what’s the worst that could happen?”

  Kellan shrugged. “I think she’ll eat him alive—but then, there are worse ways to go.”

  Channon snorted laughter. It was the first time Rayna could remember Channon laughing at one of Kellan’s japes.

  Kellan eyed Channon, but said nothing.

  Gradually, as the full moon rose higher in the Maenoren sky, the party broke up. First Katrine and Kado, then Kellan, until only Rayna and Channon were left around the dwindling fire.

  “Is it right we should spend a night this way—laughing, having fun—knowing what we know?” The question sprang to Rayna’s lips from guilt building in her gut.

  Again, she saw Razorn’s gold eyes in her mind. He was out there.

  “I think...” Channon pulled his arm around her. “Knowing what we know, we needed a moment to fortify against what’s coming. This is the calm before the storm. Anything we’ve been meaning to say, now is the time.”

  Rayna closed her eyes, leaning against Channon’s chest. The fire was dying, but she was warm. “And what is it you need to say?”

  He sighed. “That I’m sorry we didn't stop Terayan. I let us be captured, and I let Terayan use me against you.”

  “Channon.” She brought her hand to his cheek. “It isn’t your fault. Terayan manipulated us all. We thought our choices were our own, but he pulled our strings at every step.”

  “Perhaps, but.” He swallowed hard. “I’m afraid I ruined it all—that I ruined us.”

  “Nothing could ruin this.”

  “But Terayan was right. I am your weakness. More than that, I am your darkness. He proved that when he made you choose between Kellan and I. He showed you how far you would go to save me, even though you know what I am.” He stood and turned away from her.

  Rayna jumped to standing. “You’re right. I know what you are, and what you aren’t. You aren’t what the Hex made you. If our choices define us, then ultimately, only you can decide where your heart lies. If you believe you cannot be saved, that the changes the Hex made to your soul are permanent, then that is the truth.”

  Her hand shook as she reached out for him, to turn him to face her. “But if you believe, as I do, that you're still in control of your own destiny, then you can decide, right now, to be the man I know you can be. The man I love.”

  The declaration hung between them, suspended, as neither Rayna nor Channon breathed.

  When Channon exhaled, he closed the distance between them.

  Rayna longed for a kiss, but none came.

  “I want to be that man. Wolnor knows I love you. But my mind and my instincts have changed.”

  “Your instincts might be corrupted, but nothing can touch our love. It frightened me at first—the force of our attachment—but now I understand. Our world has been invaded by a creature, a god, comprised of hatred. A being intent on destroying all that is good and pure. So if we are to fight him.” She took both Channon’s hands in her own. “Then love is our most precious ally.”

  “Even if it’s used against us?”

  “Let him try. I have to believe that there is no power on this plane or any other, greater than my love for our pack, our friends, and for you, most of all.” Rayna sealed her words with a kiss.

  Channon stilled, his lips barely parting.

  Rayna pulled away. Had she pushed him too far? Did he not want her as she wanted him after all? “Channon—”

  “Do you really mean that? Despite all I’ve done, you’re still certain I’m worth loving?”

  “I am.” Rayna looked into his eyes. “I’ve never been more sure of anything than I am of you.”

  The storm that had darkened his blue eyes faded. Despite the night surrounding them, she saw only a blue as warm and bright as a sun-soaked field of cornflowers.

  Channon smiled—a real smile that crinkled the skin around his eyes and made dimples in his cheeks.

  “Then let the world end tomorrow, as long as I spend tonight with you.” Channon brushed his lips against hers. It was a quick, hesitant contact, like testing a cool spring before jumping in.

  Rayna did not want him to be careful any longer. She longed for him to dive in. She traced his jawline with her mouth, her teeth lightly grazing his stubble. “Kiss me again.”

  Channon’s restraint evaporated. His hands flew into her hair as he crushed her lips and body to his own.

  She parted her lips and Channon’s mouth opened. His leather-and-pine scent tingled on her tongue.

  After several perfect moments, he broke the contact.

  A deep ache gnawed at Rayna’s belly—equal parts frustration and exhilaration.

  Channon cradled her head between his palms. “Should I walk you to your tent?” He asked with a teasing grin.

  She covered his hands with her own, dropping them between them. She nodded, finding herself too overcome for words. Channon’s pulse beat in time with her own rapid heart as she guided him through the garden to the tent.

  They passed by the structures where the rest of their friends slept, and Rayna mentally thanked the Regent for providing so much space between them.

  For the first time in weeks, she and Channon had the opportunity to be alone.

  For the first time in their lives, they had the opportunity to be truly alone together.

  When they reached an empty tent, Rayna and Channon stopped outside the threshold. It was constructed of far finer and softer fabrics than the fur and leather dens of their home, but still the familiarity of the moment and setting struck Rayna.

  How many times had Channon walked her to her den? How many times had they embraced, both secretly longing for more, but neither having the courage to speak their desires?

  They had missed so many chances, but she would not miss this one.

  Rayna turned to him. But the sight of his intense blue stare and his moonlit blond locks curling around his ears, stole her breath.

  At her hesitation, Channon brought his hand to her cheek. “Your face is as red as your hair.” He smiled. “Do you want me to go?”

  Rayna shook her head. She reached for the words she needed to say. “I want you to stay.”

  She pulled back the tent’s entrance.

  They entered together.

  A few candles lit the comfortable surroundings with a warm orange glow. Colorful silks and plush furs covered the ground. It was clearly a Maenoren construction, but with Channon there, it felt like home.

  Rayna wrapped her arms around his waist. “How is it possible to feel so happy when the world is so wrong?”

  “The world might be wrong.” He pressed a light kiss to her nose. “But this is right.”

  Rayna tipped her chin up, but Channon paused before their lips could meet.

  “Rayna,” Channon said, his voice suddenly serious. “I don’t know what the future holds for us, or if we'll survive this war. But I do know that I refuse to leave this existence without having loved you in every possible way. I want to be yours forever, if you’d have me.”

  She swallowed. The ache to feel his skin on hers, to remove all the space between their bodies, spread through her, burning and filling her like molten metal.

  “Channon Lyallt.” All Fenearens were taught the vow when they were educated about what it meant to become mates. She still remembered giggling with the other children as Thera had explained it, but the ritual words did not seem funny now.

  “Channon Lyallt,” she repeated his name, savoring it. “I ask to bind my
self to you, body and soul. From this night forth I promise to love you, to comfort you, to raise your pups, and to fight for you if need be. In the light of Lumae and the sight of the Father, I, Rayna Myana, give myself to you as mate.” She kissed his right-hand knuckles, as custom dictated. “Let this be my vow.”

  Channon straightened. He ran his hands down Rayna’s arms, leaving her skin tingling.

  “Rayna Myana.” He beamed as he spoke her full name. “I ask to bind myself to you, body and soul. From this night forth I promise to love you, to cherish you, to raise your pups, and to fight for you if need be. In the light of Lumae and the sight of the Father, I, Channon Lyallt, give myself to you as mate.”

  He kissed her knuckles as well, though far more slowly. He pressed his lips to each of her fingers in turn, massaging her wrist.

  “Let this be my vow.” He raised his head, expectant gaze focused on hers.

  With the words said, Rayna could no longer control the heat coursing through her.

  She ran her hands underneath his shirt. Her fingers spread over the hard ridges of his stomach, sliding around to his back. She unsheathed her claws enough to slice the shirt.

  Channon laughed as the garment fell between them, but the sound quickly shifted to a moan as Rayna trailed kisses down his neck and chest.

  He lifted her, and Rayna wrapped her legs around his hips.

  Channon set her down on the bed of furs. He stared down at her as he undid her leather vest with agonizing care, one clasp at a time.

  It fell away, leaving only her doeskin undershirt.

  Channon untied the laces beneath her neck, but paused before he removed it. “Ray, you are certain you're ready?”

  Rayna smiled as she removed the shirt for him. The instinctual passion pulsing through her burned away any shred of shyness.

  Rayna ran her hands over his chest and abdomen, down to his hips. “I have never wanted anything more in my life more than I want you right now, Channon,” she assured him. “We’ve said the vow. I am ready to become your mate, if you’re ready to become mine.”

  “Oh, I’m ready.” Channon’s voice was rough as he lowered over her, covering her mouth with his own.

  The smell of him—leather, pine, and early morning mist—surrounded her. His touch propelled her to a place where there was no tomorrow, no monsters, and no war—only Channon, her Channon, her mate.