Heart of Decadence (Handful of Hearts Book 5)

by Jenna Jaxon

She paused then composed herself. “Yes, I am well. It’s only that I haven’t been out in Society for such a long time, I am quite overwhelmed by it all.” Another long pause in which she seemed to be contemplating the wisdom of saying more. “Especially by Mr. Burke’s attentions.”

  “Are you indeed betrothed to him?” Something in Nathan froze, hanging on her next words as if nothing else in the world mattered.

  “Not exactly, no.”

  The flicker of something deep within him burst back into life. “Not exactly?”

  “My parents are arranging the marriage. I’ve only just met Mr. Burke this evening at dinner. We’re supposed to take the opportunity of the ball to become better acquainted.” Even the faintness of the moonlight couldn’t disguise her distaste at the idea.

  “And I interrupted his attempt to do so?” Not as bad as he’d feared, but still not behavior becoming a gentleman. “I’m sorry if I’ve impeded his suit in any way.”

  “Do not be, my lord.” Her hand on his wrist startled him, both in its presence there and the warmth it generated within him. “As I’ve said, the match was brought about by my parents.” The liquid blue of her eyes flashed like quicksilver. “I’m submitting to it because, as you well know, no one else has been willing to have me. Not one in ten years.”

  “Why not?”

  She jerked her head back as though he’d slapped her. “What do you mean? You must know the story. Everyone in the ton does.”

  “Except, apparently, me. My father wrote to me in Italy that you’d become betrothed to Lord Carrington. I assumed you married him. I didn’t find out until just now that you did not.” That piece of information still hadn’t registered. “Can you tell me why you didn’t marry him?”

  “He died.”

  Nathan flinched at the unfeeling tone of her voice. But of course, her grief must be long in the past.

  Her gaze on his face didn’t falter.

  “May I extend my very belated condolences on his loss?”

  “Thank you.” With a choked sigh, she hurried down the veranda steps out into the garden, to a bench where she sat, her back almost to him.

  He followed, not too closely to give her time to compose herself. “You must have loved him very much.”

  “So all the gossips in Society say, at least.”

  He cocked his head. “I beg your pardon?”

  Shaking her head, she straightened, the slight movement giving her a regal stance. “Never mind, my lord. It’s old news, in any case. And I do thank you for your concern.” She took a breath then hesitantly stole a glance at him. “I confess I did wonder what had happened to you. After our last encounter in the garden.”

  “Here in this garden, as I recall.” Nathan glanced over at a cherry tree just coming into bud. “Under that very tree, if I remember correctly.”

  “You do.”

  The admission sent a thrill through him, though he couldn’t fathom the reason. “As to what happened to me, almost the next day I was sent off on my Grand Tour, although with the war raging with France at that time, the tour was not quite as grand as it had been in times past. Still, I was gone for two years, mostly in Italy, although I spent some time in Switzerland, Prussia, and Greece.”

  “It must’ve been a marvelous experience.” Her voice, carefully neutral, made him suddenly aware how his disappearance might have seemed to her.

  “I would’ve written to you, but I truly had no time before I left for Portsmouth. Then I was on a ship bound for Italy.” Why did he feel the need to explain? He hadn’t thought of that encounter with Miss Burrowes for years, although he had thought about her quite a lot on board the ship. His animosity toward his father for sending him off so quickly—he’d not been allowed to tell her goodbye, even though he’d begged to do so—had lasted for some time as well.

  “I understand. I did not pine over it, although I did wonder why you’d sent no word.” She shrugged. “Not too long after you left, I was introduced to Lord Carrington, and we came to an understanding quite quickly.”

  A flicker of jealousy ignited in Nathan’s chest. He squelched it almost as soon as it appeared. What good to be jealous of a dead man? And why, for God’s sake, be envious at all of a woman he’d not seen for over a decade? Still, the thought of Carrington with her was distasteful, to say the least. He rose. “Perhaps we’ve stayed away too long. I would not wish to ruin your reputation, Miss Burrowes, when I was trying to save it.”

  At that she laughed until she wept, sitting on the bench with her eyes streaming.

  Without a word, he handed her his handkerchief and she mopped the tears that continued to flood her face. “I am pleased I could lighten your mood, Miss Burrowes.”

  She hiccoughed and sniggered then, slowly, the tide turned and she sobered. “I do beg your pardon, my lord, for that display. But what you said…” She sputtered off again then composed herself. “I am afraid I couldn’t help myself.” Lifting the sodden handkerchief, she waved it at him. “I will have this laundered and returned to you on the morrow.”

  “Why not return it to me in person?” Nathan didn’t know where that question had come from. He’d had no intention of suggesting they meet again. Except that, now that he thought about it, he did wish to see her. “Allow me to take you for a carriage ride tomorrow afternoon.”

  That seemed to stun her, for she sat for several moments, pulling at the soaked handkerchief so hard he feared it would tear. “I am sorry, Lord Ainsley, but I cannot. My parents are in negotiations with Mr. Burke. I doubt they would approve such an outing.” She rose and sighed. “Please escort me to my mother, my lord. I am certain she wonders where I am.”

  “Of course, Miss Burrowes.” He offered his arm, almost fearing she wouldn’t take it.

  After hesitating, she finally rested her hand lightly on it and they made their way back inside Lady Hamilton’s townhouse. The heat was suffocating after the cool outdoors and seemed to get worse as they silently wound their way toward the ballroom amidst the din of a ball in full swing. Miss Burrowes seemed to shrink toward him, now gripping his arm as though it were a lifeline. Did she fear crowds so much? She’d said she’d not been in company much these ten years, though he still wasn’t certain why. When they arrived at the ballroom, awash in light, the dancers swirling around the floor like huge, colorful flowers, he paused, unsure for whom he was looking. “Where is your mother, Miss Burrowes? I cannot recall—”

  “There.” She indicated a plump woman with a determined face in a gown of green silk all the way across the room.

  “Fortunately, Mr. Burke seems to have dawdled in procuring your lemonade.” Nathan started toward the woman then glanced down at his charge.

  Head down, shrinking against him as though to hide herself, Miss Burrowes trembled as she followed him blindly. Was she truly so terrified of being out in company? He did not remember her so. Had isolation in the country brought about such a change? Perhaps he could help remedy that. Carefully, they wound their way around the dance floor, until they reached Mrs. Burrowes, who gazed at him in utter shock.

  “Lord Ainsley.” After a stunned moment, she curtsied, never taking her gaze from him.

  “Mrs. Burrowes. I am honored to meet you again.” Nathan bowed and relinquished Miss Burrowes to her mother.

  “How nice to see you, my lord, after all these years.” The lady shifted her gaze from him to her daughter. “Amelia? What has happened? Mr. Burke said you were overcome and would be here directly, but when you did not appear, he went in search of you. I feared you…” She glanced again at Nathan. “I feared you had become indisposed.”

  “My fault entirely, Mrs. Burrowes.” Nathan spoke up before Miss Burrowes could put forth any excuse. He wanted his version of the events to be the one she heard first. “I came upon your daughter and Mr. Burke unawares. The shock of both being surprised and seeing me after so many years caused Miss Burrowes to become lightheaded. I suggested Mr. Burke procure her some refreshment and we would meet him here
. Unfortunately, your daughter took several more minutes than expected to be restored. But here she is now, and much improved, I believe.”

  “Are you quite all right, my dear?” Mrs. Burrowes peered at her daughter, who nodded.

  “I am fine, Mama.” Miss Burrowes shot him a look, not quite gratitude, but not anger either. “Seeing Lord Ainsley after so many years did give me a bit of a start. But we have been reacquainting ourselves.”

  “Thank you, my lord, for looking after her.” The woman’s tone was doubtful, but sincere.

  “My pleasure entirely, ma’am. I only hope my appearance didn’t cause Miss Burrowes any undue distress.” He raised his eyebrows at the lady in question, who had the grace to blush.

  “No, of course it didn’t, my lord.” Mrs. Burrowes looked sharply at her daughter then back at him with a perturbed countenance.

  And now for the coup de grace. “Miss Burrowes told me that she is unused to crowded dance floors and ballrooms. So I have suggested she take a ride with me in my curricle early tomorrow afternoon, before the fashionable hour. I am certain the air will do her good. And then she will not need to worry about too many people being about.”

  A furious frown appeared on Miss Burrowes’s face, while her mother became thoughtful.

  “I do not think it a good idea, Mama.” With a firm step, Miss Burrowes left his side and flounced over to her mother. “I told Lord Ainsley that earlier when he suggested the outing.”

  “I see nothing wrong with a carriage ride with the viscount, Amelia.” The calculating look in the lady’s eyes told Nathan the woman understood well the advantages of her daughter having a titled suitor over an untitled one.

  “But Mr. Burke—”

  “Mr. Burke must understand that you are not betrothed to him yet, and therefore may accept any invitation your father and I deem appropriate.” Mrs. Burrowes beamed at him. “Lord Ainsley’s suggestion is quite unobjectionable and will likely result in your continued good health as well. I insist that you accept, my dear.”

  Opening her mouth, likely to object once more to the invitation, Miss Burrowes caught her mother’s pointed glare and closed it again. She struggled to turn her lips up in a smile as she said, “Thank you, Lord Ainsley. I would be delighted to ride with you tomorrow.”

  “Splendid.” Nathan bit back a chuckle as the lady almost gnashed her teeth in frustration. Likely she was still embarrassed by the scene he’d interrupted with Burke. That mattered little to him. Almost from the moment he’d recognized her, he’d wanted to renew his acquaintance with Miss Burrowes. If he’d thought she wouldn’t flee the premises, he’d have asked for the supper dance, although Burke had likely taken that already. Never mind. Tomorrow was his. “I shall look forward to seeing you again most eagerly, Miss Burrowes. We have so much to talk about.”

  The lady’s strained look bothered him not at all. Naturally, after such a long time, their sudden reacquaintance might give her pause. But as long as she agreed to accompany him, he had no objection to wooing her affections once more.

  “Until then, ladies.” He bowed just as Mr. Burke appeared at the entryway behind them, a glass of lemonade in his hand and a scowl on his lips as he glanced about the room.

  With a smile, Nathan turned and left. Timing was, as always, everything in a courtship.

  Chapter 3

  “What have you done, Mama?” Dismayed, Amelia glared at the broad back and wide shoulders of Lord Ainsley as he disappeared into the crowd. “I thought you wished me to marry Mr. Burke.”

  “I wish you to marry as well as possible, my dear.” Her mother, too, watched Lord Ainsley’s progress, a new light in her eyes. “Why settle for plain Mrs. Burke when you could perhaps be Lady Ainsley?”

  “I assure you that will not happen. He doesn’t…” Amelia hated to speak the words. “He doesn’t know about me, Mama. About the scandal. He was out of the country when it happened and only knew that I was betrothed. Only just now did he learn that Carrington died. He’s thought me married all these years.”

  “So much the better.” The delighted tone of voice assured Amelia that her mother would not set aside the notion of a proposal by Lord Ainsley any time soon. “If I read the signs right, I daresay he will be calling on Papa to ask permission for a formal courtship.”

  “He will discover the truth, Mama. He has only to mention my name to anyone and the whole sordid mess will rear its head again. Do you want that?” It was the last thing Amelia wanted. Lord Ainsley seemed to remember her with fondness. She would like that to continue, but feared the next time she saw him, he would look at her with disdain, believing her a ruined woman.

  “Of course not.” Mama sniffed, but also smiled. “However, if his lordship is taken with you, he might choose to ignore or disregard the scandal. I seem to remember you were quite fond of him your first Season.” She suddenly peered closely at Amelia. “And he of you. That spark may well be kindling once again.”

  The one thing for which Amelia scarcely dared to hope. She could not bear Lord Ainsley, whom she’d developed a tendre for those many years ago, to think ill of her now. Better to leave the past in the past where it could remain golden in her memory, rather than tarnish it with the scandal that had plagued her for years. Her safest course, though certainly not the one she wanted, would be to marry Mr. Burke and settle for respectability while she still could. Put all thoughts of Lord Ainsley firmly away. Of course, having become reacquainted with him would make that a more difficult task. A more handsome and intelligent gentleman she had never met, with a wit that had drawn her to him long ago. If only he had not gone away…

  “Miss Burrowes, at last.” Mr. Burke had finally come upon them, his frowning face dark as a rain cloud. He handed her a glass of lemonade. “I was beginning to fear Lord Ainsley had absconded with you for some nefarious purpose.”

  Amelia had to bite her lip to keep from giving him a sharp retort. The pot calling the kettle black, indeed. “No, Lord Ainsley was a perfect gentleman. He took me outside for a breath of fresh air, which did restore me remarkably well. We may have lingered a moment or two as I particularly enjoyed the cool air after the heat inside.” She gave him a pointed look and was mollified when he dropped his gaze from hers. “Then he returned me to Mama as promised.”

  “Well, I am glad to hear he behaved himself.” Mr. Burke’s bluster returned as he spoke to Mama. “I would not wish for my future wife to be put upon by a rogue with a title.”

  “Prospective future wife, Mr. Burke.” Her mother rapped his arm sharply with her folded fan. “There have been no settlements signed yet, if you recall. My daughter is still free to accept the suit of any man who presents himself.”

  “Mrs. Burrowes, you cannot mean that!” Burke’s voice rose above the din of the ballroom and a hush fell over the area where they stood. All eyes turned toward them, curious and suspicious.

  Hoping no one would register who she was, Amelia fled toward the ladies’ retiring room, her violet slippers drumming a tattoo on the hardwood floors in her haste. Along the way, she thrust the untasted glass of lemonade into the hands of a startled footman, scarcely caring if it slopped onto her dress or not. If only she could spend the balance of the evening hiding there, perhaps this ill-omened re-entry to society would not be deemed a total disaster.

  * * * *

  “May I ask you something, Haversham?” Nathan had just finished a fine afternoon’s work deviling his best friend, the Earl of Haversham, by arranging for him to court his sister Kate, who was in her third Season with no prospects for a husband. He had a sneaking suspicion that the animosity between the two masked kindred spirits who would ignite a blazing passion if given the right circumstances.

  “By God, I think you’ve asked enough of me for one day.” The earl eased back into his chair, sipping his third whiskey.

  “This has nothing to do with Kate, so smooth your feathers.” He set his own glass on the table. “It has to do with a lady I met last night.” After he’d es
corted his sister home last evening, he’d not been able to get Miss Burrowes out of his head. The hints she’d given him spoke tantalizingly of some tragedy in her life, although he couldn’t for the life of him conclude what it might be. Perhaps his friend might be able to shed some light on the situation.

  “Ah, the truth comes out. You wish me to be leg-shackled to your sister in order to keep you company.” Haversham grinned, likely enjoying turning the tables on him.

  “I have no idea of marrying the woman.” Then why had he thought about her since last night like a moon-struck calf? “I met her briefly last evening, although we met initially over ten years ago, just before I took my Grand Tour.”

  “She’s a widow?”

  “No, although she was once betrothed it seems. A Miss Amelia Burrowes.”

  Haversham sat bolt upright, spewing whisky over himself and Nathan’s best Italian leather chair. “Miss Burrowes?”

  “What the devil’s the matter with you?” Grabbing his handkerchief from his pocket, Nathan attempted to save his favorite seat.

  Haversham mopped his face and clothing with his own linen. “You did say Miss Burrowes, didn’t you?”

  “I did. You say her name as though the lady was an ogre of some sort. I can assure you she is not.”

  “Ogre, no. Outcast, yes.” The earl tossed the sopping handkerchief onto the table and set his glass next to it. “I am amazed she’s back in Society, even after all this time.”

  “We cannot be talking about the same lady.” Nathan finished scrubbing the leather cushion and stood. “This is Miss Amelia Burrowes. A sweet but rather spirited lady even when I first met her.”

  “I was acquainted with her when she first came out. You’d made such startling remarks about her beauty I wanted to see her for myself and scraped an introduction.” He peered down at his cravat, baptized with dark stains. “Gads, Ainsley. I shall have to hurry home and change my linen before heading to the club. I’m not fit to be seen.”

  “Tidy yourself later. What about Miss Burrowes?”