The Virgin Widow

by Jen YatesNZ

  Jane.

  He was vaguely aware the maid had stepped back to allow him to enter, then closed the door at his back.

  ‘What is it, Dolly? I told you I have everything I need. I wish you’d stop fussing! I’m warm. I have a book, pen and paper. I’m not hungry and I don’t need a tea trolley! Please leave me be.’

  There was a hint of petulance in the voice, and a husky note as if the speaker had been indulging in a moment of sadness and didn’t want to be found out.

  At first lush greenery, baskets of hanging begonias and petunias and several tubs containing orange trees, hid her from him. Moving forward a step, he found her, wrapped in a cloak with a rug on her knees and seated on a cushioned cane settle before a wall of small glass panes. The window framed a vista down through the coldly delicate fretwork of the winter garden to the lead and diamond ripple of the swiftly flowing river.

  Frozen in place, Bax stared at the back of her head, at the rich fire of her hair bundled up in a haphazard knot his fingers ached to loosen. Breath stopped in his throat. His heart forgot to beat. He’d felt this way the night he realized she’d decided to rid herself of her virginity so she could come to him unencumbered; so he’d not feel obligated to offer anything in return.

  He’d had no appreciation then for what this woman would come to mean to him and how badly he now wished to be obligated to offer her everything, his everything, in fact. The rest of his life depended on how he handled this moment, yet important though it was, he seemed unable to do or say anything other than what came naturally. Like that night at the Matrix Club all over again—although today she was fully clothed, more’s the pity!

  ‘Dolly?’

  Querulous. It was the only word to describe how she sounded. Had he done that to her? He stepped forward.

  ‘What am I going to do with you, Angular Jane?’

  She spun about, almost dislodging the untidy knot of hair from her head and letting the rug slip to the floor at her feet.

  ‘Hades?’

  Her cheeks were hollowed and tracked with tears, and her eyes wide, dark pools of—pain.

  With his heart ripping apart in his chest, he slid onto the couch beside her and engulfed her in his arms. Nothing, ever, had felt so right.

  At first she stiffened and tried to push him away. When his hold didn’t slacken, a deep sob escaped her and she burrowed against his coat, slipped her arms about his waist, and clung.

  Her body shook with the intensity of her emotion and the soft, hiccupping sobs she was unable to suppress.

  Bax wasn’t sure he wasn’t sobbing right along with her, and when she finally lifted her face away to wipe at her tears, he found his own cheeks were wet and he needed to do the same.

  ‘I’m sorry, Jane,’ he murmured, wiping at his tears and then hers. ‘I never meant for our—liaison—to be a painful thing. For either of us.

  ‘I’m sorry too,’ she answered, her eyes soft and still a little misty. ‘I’m so terribly sorry about Jason—and his boys. You must feel so betrayed. I’ve—had a lot of time to think since last time you—called.’

  ‘The kind of thinking that would give me the answer I sought that day?’

  ‘I—don’t know. Maybe. I thought if I married you and you went your usual philandering way, I’d probably die. I’ve since come to realize I couldn’t begin to consider, let alone imagine, marrying any other man or having his children. If I didn’t marry you, I’d never marry, never have children—and I’ve come to realize I want your children, very much.’

  ‘Are you proposing to me, Angular Jane?’ he whispered, his gaze locked with hers. He found himself reverting to his usual way of trying to lighten the emotion of the moment by turning it into a joke and though he felt it inappropriate, it seemed to help. The bruised look about her eyes softened and her wide, beautiful mouth wobbled a little.

  Letting the cloak fall from her shoulders, she slid off the couch and down to her knees before him. Possessing herself of his hands, she raised her chin and looked steadily into his eyes.

  ‘I know you’re not offering me love, Hades. You simply need a wife that you may father heirs. I’d be honored to be the mother of those children—if you’re still offering marriage? I’d be more honored still to be your wife. I have enough love for both of us.’

  Dear God, he wanted nothing more than to haul her into his lap and kiss her, love her senseless, but how did he convince her his love was as deeply embedded as hers? For if he said yes, she’d likely think it was simply because he needed an heir and therefore a wife.

  ***

  Might as well add fear to the gamut of emotions she’d suffered these last months, Jane thought. It burned like acid in her mouth and had a vice-like grip on her heart and lungs.

  What if she’d been an utter fool? What was causing that frantic twitching of the muscle in his cheek? And the flashes of shadow and smoky fire in his eyes?

  ‘Say something!’ she begged at last.

  Suddenly she was hauled back up into his arms, crushed against his broad, hard chest, and his eyes were squeezed tight as if he was in pain.

  ‘Thank you, Jane,’ he breathed against her hair. ‘Every cell in my body simply wants to lay you down here—anywhere—and show you how much I love you, want you, need you. But it seems I’ve finally matured—or something—for I realize there’s a difference between love and lust. So that’s not the way to convince you I love you—and that is why I want you for my wife.’

  He lifted his head a little to look down at her and Jane felt every cell in her body awaken to begin an animated, heated dance of purely lustful joy.

  ‘I’d not be averse—to starting out that way—however.’

  ‘Oh—God, Jane!’

  His mouth fastened to hers, tongue delving, demanding, inciting until she was struggling to climb his body, to climb inside him.

  ‘Oh, Hades! I’ve missed you!’ she whimpered between fevered kisses. ‘And I thought—I’d conceived—our baby—and then my courses came—and I knew there was no baby—and—I felt—Oh God, I wanted your baby, Hades!’

  Dammit, she was crying—again!

  In the next breath he’d swept her up into his arms and was carrying her out of the conservatory and back into the thankfully empty front hallway.

  ‘Which way?’

  ‘Upstairs. I can walk!’

  ‘I’m not putting you down unless it be on a bed!’ he growled, pounding up the staircase with the force of a wild bull elephant.

  ‘Right,’ she directed, at the top of the stairs, ‘Last door.’

  Jane was grateful they met no one but Dolly, who pulled the door open at the sound of Hades’ boots pounding up the stairs.

  With a wide approving smile, she said, ‘I’ll be downstairs should you be needing anything, my Lady!’

  Before Jane could speak, Bax said, ‘Would you ask the butler to see to my man and the coachman and horses? See them accommodated, that is.’

  ‘Certainly, my Lord.’

  ‘And Dolly?’

  ‘Yes, my Lord?’

  ‘You may tell Fosse to lay in some celebratory beverages and request Cook to bake the biggest apple pie she can in honor of this historic occasion—with lashings of cream. Your mistress has agreed to become my wife!’

  Dolly was almost hyperventilating with excitement.

  ‘Oh, I will see to all of that, my Lord! And may I be the first to congratulate you and my Lady!’ she finished, dipping in a flurried curtsey.

  ‘You may, Dolly,’ he said solemnly. ‘Now please see we are not disturbed.’

  Jane’s cheeks were hot as fire, but she didn’t care. At this moment she didn’t want Hades to ever put her down again, and she knew Dolly was genuinely pleased for her.

  ‘Apple pie—with lashings of cream?’ she murmured, memories spiking anticipation.

  ‘Mmm,’ he hummed, his hot gaze roaming the length of her cradled in his arms, as if deciding where to start.

  There was no need for either o
f them to say more. The memory of the night at The Chase when he’d introduced her to the kind of hunger food could arouse in the bedroom was clear in both their gazes.

  But the moment Hades kicked the door shut behind them Jane forgot anything but the miracle, the pure joy of this moment. He’d said he loved her, wanted to prove it to her—and she wanted that proof more than she’d ever wanted anything.

  Hades Delacourte loved her! Crazy, impossible dreams.

  Laying her back against the pillows, he came down beside her. Leaning up on one elbow, he traced the arch of her brows, the hated tip-tilting dip in her nose, the curve of her mouth where his fingers slipped between her lips to find the tip of her tongue.

  When he withdrew to suck it into his own mouth she swallowed hungrily and reached for his hand.

  Clasping hers within his powerful grasp, he murmured, ‘Goddamn, I’ve missed you, Jane. You’ve changed me. I’m infinitely older and wiser than that pleasure-minded royster whose only thought was to get you into his bed. Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart,’ he muttered, leaning forward to place a kiss against the soft swell of flesh above the edge of her bodice. ‘I want that too, more than I can say. But I no longer have that desperate need to cheat time, to strike before my desire fades–or yours does!’

  The first button on her bodice slipped free under his fingers and Jane could keep her hands still no longer. Tugging at the knot in his neck-cloth she pulled it loose and slowly began easing the linen from his neck.

  ‘You—don’t think—this will fade?’ she asked, trying desperately to sound as if she was simply making conversation, as she let the cloth float to the floor.

  ‘Jane,’ he growled, kissing the extra inch of flesh he’d exposed, then licking the spot before leaning back to grin at her. ‘I know this won’t fade. I’ve never wanted a woman like this before—to the exclusion of all others. I’ve never felt possessive or jealous. I’ve never been able to confine myself to just one woman, before—I found you. Do you realize there’s been no one else? I’ve not wanted, or desired, or thought about anyone else since—almost since the day I saw you in my sister’s drawing room at Pountney Hall. Furthermore, when I couldn’t have you, though I tried, I couldn’t make myself think about another, let alone desire her. I am yours, Jane, for better and for worse! You, and you alone, have all of me. I love only you.’

  The wonder of his pronouncement was beyond fantasy and simply dissolved her ability to speak or respond in any way.

  ‘Do you believe me, Jane? When I came to see you at Rotherby I came, not because I needed heirs of my own, but because, if I had to take a wife, you were the only woman I wanted, though I may not have fully realized that at the time.’

  ‘Show me—how much—you love me,’ she whispered, ‘so I can show you.’

  ‘I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you that,’ he declared, and pulled her off the bed to stand before him. ‘We’ve got too many clothes on.’

  Jane’s fingers flew to the rest of the buttons on her gown and as Hades shrugged his shirt off his shoulders the gown swiftly followed. Grasping her arms he turned her and started unlacing her stays while she worked the ties of her petticoat loose.

  ‘Your boots next,’ she said, pushing him back on the bed, turning her back and gripping his leg between her knees. The moment the second one hit the floor she turned and started on his falls.

  ‘Impatient, Angular Jane?’ he asked, leaning back to give her access.

  ‘I want to see if you are as magnificent as my innocent self thought you were that first night I saw you naked!’

  With a totally unselfconscious grin, he shoved his trousers and smalls down and stepped out of them to stand before her fully aroused.

  Jane threw her wrist against her brow and pretended to swoon.

  ‘Too much, my Lord! Too much!’

  With a snort of laughter he grabbed the hem of her shift and pulled it over her head, so she stood as naked as he.’

  ‘Good thing you don’t have to earn your living on the stage, my love!’

  Jane wasn’t sure she was acting. She was somewhat in awe of him. Stepping back so she could take in all of him at once, she felt suddenly shy, inadequate, lacking—

  The laughter faded from his eyes to be replaced by a fiery smolder as he leant forward to grasp her hands and hold them wide.

  ‘Fashioned exclusively for me,’ he murmured. ‘I’m so grateful God knew what I needed and created you; placing you in the right place at the very time I needed you!—Look at us!’ He turned them to stand side by side before the cheval mirror in the corner of the room. ‘The top of your head tucks under my chin. There are precious few women who come anywhere near my chin!’

  Jane turned from the mirror, heat flooding her cheeks.

  ‘I don’t want to look at me. I want to look at you!’

  ‘And I—want to look at you,’ he countered, holding her away from him once again so they both could look their fill. ‘Although, you might be able to tell, I really want to do more than look!’ he growled, bending to suck deeply on first one pouting nipple and then the other.

  ‘Hades!’ she whimpered, her body collapsing so he caught her in his arms and carried her back to the bed.

  ‘I’m guessing that means you too, want to do more than just look,’ he said, coming over her and returning to feast at her breasts.

  ‘God yes! Oh Hades, I’ve needed you!’

  ‘I’m here, Jane, and I’m never leaving you again—or allowing you to leave me!’

  ***

  The first loving was a frantic response to hunger too long un-assuaged. With a little of the edge taken off their burning desire for one another, Bax settled into a leisurely, thorough worship of Jane’s body until she was crying and sobbing her need of him again and he was satisfied he’d reminded her how deeply their needs and passion for one another meshed, how her desperate need of him, fueled and matched his for her.

  Momentarily sated, he drew her into the curve of his arm so her head lay on his shoulder and the soft scent of orange blossom from her hair assailed his senses.

  Jane and contentment. One and the same.

  ‘I meant what I said, my love. I’ll not be separated from you again—even for propriety’s sake until we marry!’

  Her hand cruised lazily down over the ridged muscle of his belly, back up then across from one hard flat nipple to the other. He covered her hand with his and held it still.

  ‘You’ll not distract me. I want to talk, settle things between us. How soon will you marry me?’

  ‘As soon as you can arrange it,’ she murmured, stretching up to nibble at the corner of his mouth. ‘Where will we live?’

  ‘The Dene.’

  ‘Truly? I thought—’

  ‘I returned to The Dene after leaving Rotherby Dower House, in the throes of the worst temper tantrum I’ve ever thrown. It wasn’t you I was mad at. It was Jase. For everything, all of it, was his fault! The only place I could go to fight him, to tell him what I needed him to hear, was The Dene. It was a good way to slay ghosts! We had a party in Jason’s old room. Mama had practically turned it into a bloody shrine to his memory. So we had a chat, fairly rabid and whisky-induced on my part. Papa was there. So was Sam. We—understand one another now and I’ve been living at The Dene ever since. Jase’s room has been cleaned out ready for a new mistress to redecorate. In fact, the whole place needs refurbishing. Mama spends little time there now, and I guess the Ashdowns are the reason for that.’

  ‘I always loved The Dene, the carved paneling, magical beasts and faerie creatures. It used to fascinate me as a child. When can we go there?’

  Turning to lie on his side so they lay face to face on the pillow, he said, ‘It’s up to you, my love. We could go tomorrow if you really wanted. But I’m going to propose we stay here a while—if that’s feasible. I could send Fosse to London to get a special license. We could get a vicar or a justice hereabouts to marry us. Then I’m thinking we could host a house party at T
he Dene over Christmas, where we could make our vows again in the chapel—before friends and family. And we won’t mind if they stay around for a while, for we will have had our time alone here. I like it here, because hardly anyone knows where to find us. What do you think?’

  ‘Yes,’ Jane breathed. ‘And now I think—we should get dressed and go downstairs for dinner. Apart from the fact I’m hungry—and I haven’t been for weeks—I’m anxious to see if Cook’s apple pie measures up to the one we had at The Chase!’

  Their eyes held for a moment, then Bax closed the gap between them and took her mouth.

  ‘I’m not sure,’ he growled against her lips, ‘if I can let you out of this bed.’

  ‘You have to,’ Jane whispered back, ‘else we’ll never get to the dessert!’

  ‘I’ve a feeling,’ he said, pulling back to take in every sleekly contented inch of her, ‘life with my Angular Jane is going to be one long delicious dessert!’

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  I sincerely hope you enjoyed the Great Bax’s story, the third in the ‘Lords of the Matrix Club’ series. I would be very grateful if you could leave a review on Amazon at:-

  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B073X5LLX3

  And because I know you can’t wait, the Earl of Knightsborough’s story, comes next.

  ‘Her Dark Lord’, Bk.4. and the final in this series.

  Find it here:-

  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B079C4NGJ6

  To find other books I have written please visit my Amazon Author page:-

  http://www.amazon.com/Jen-YatesNZ/e/B009MSEA7U

  or visit my website – http://www.jenyatesnz.com/

  And don’t forget – if you want to be notified of my upcoming books, send an email to

  jenyatesnz@mail.com

  and receive a free 30,000 word novella, ‘Lord Devil’s Bondmaiden’.

  Happy reading.

  Jen YatesNZ.

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