by Robyn Nyx
She closed the door behind her, and Louie sighed at her abrupt departure. She tried to take it at face value. Heather wasn’t out and proud, and she had to protect herself from potential embarrassment. It was understandable, especially in country music. They were no readier for lesbians than they were for black guys with incredible talent. Louie rested her head on the back of the armchair and closed her eyes. Getting the girl and the dream job in one week was obviously too much to ask.
She pushed herself upright and grabbed the coffee Heather had brought. It was time to freshen up. If she did get the songwriting gig with Savana, Louie figured it would probably only take a few weeks, a month at most. The songs she wrote would garner the attention of publishers, and Louie would work for someone other than Rocky Top, leaving the path clear to pursue Heather again. Heather was definitely a woman worth waiting for…if Louie was willing to negotiate a relationship behind closed doors.
Chapter Nineteen
Heather leaned her head on the steering wheel. She’d handled that terribly. Seeing Louie in not very many clothes had scrambled her usually right-thinking mind. She’d had every intention of addressing their attraction and talking about putting it on the back burner while Louie wrote Savana’s album. Instead she’d made herself sound like a career woman and callously dismissed Louie as a potential bump on her road to success. I need Emma’s advice. She speed-dialed her and pulled away from the curb.
“Hey, Feathers, I’m glad you called back. Sorry I couldn’t speak to you last night when you rang.”
“No problem. I can’t expect my romance guru to be on call twenty-four seven.” Heather had a feeling there was more to it than Emma was spilling, but she’d wait for their next dinner together to get the probably lurid details.
“Sounds juicy. Now I wish I had answered the phone. What’s the problem?” Emma asked.
Heather slowed down to take the left onto Dickerson Pike and started to move before she saw a moped. She jammed on her brakes, and the rider nodded their thanks for not taking them out. “Damn it. Concentrate.”
“I’m going to assume you’re driving and not talking to me.”
Heather triple-checked before moving out this time and tried to steady the solid thudding of her heart. “Sorry, Em. I nearly wiped out a moped.”
“Shame you missed. Would’ve been worth fifty points.”
Heather laughed. “Are there prizes when I collect enough points?”
“Sure, whatever you want. Now cut to the chase. I’m at the studio, and I’m paying by the hour.”
“Last night I was calling for advice on gender stuff, but I think I’ve just messed everything up so it probably doesn’t matter.”
“Okay, break it down for me, and start with last night.”
Heather gave a quick rundown of the audition, Louie being in attendance, and Savana’s use of pronouns. “I’d wanted to know if it’d be all right if I asked Louie out or if that would be stepping on her—their toes. I wanted to know if there were roles and expectations, but I think I’ve just blown it anyway.”
Emma laughed. “You’re being serious?”
“Of course, why?” Heather slowed for an elderly lady and her decrepit dog who were struggling to make the distance on the diagonal crossing. “Am I being stupid?”
“Naïve, not stupid. This isn’t the fifties. You can damn well ask out anyone you want to. I can’t believe you’re nearly thirty and don’t know these things.”
“I’ve been a little busy with my career. I haven’t had time to keep up with…” This wasn’t the time for excuses. Heather simply wasn’t au fait with anything to do with lesbians and labels. Coming from a small town and only having two femme girlfriends wasn’t a justifiable reason for ignorance now that she was in a big city. It was time to get up to speed. “You’ve got to help me.”
“I will, but it means you have to ask Louie some personal questions. We can talk about it more tonight when I bring takeout to your place. Now, how do you think you’ve messed everything up and won’t need all the information I’m going to bestow upon you this evening?”
Heather took the second exit off from the rotary onto Music Square carefully. She hated the game of chance these weird circles initiated. “I went to Gabe’s house to tell him Donny wasn’t going to sign him—”
“No way. Why the hell not?”
“Because apparently I work for a racist asshole.” Heather didn’t want to believe it. She wanted to see the best in Donny, and she’d partly reasoned that he had no choice because the higher-ups might have fired him if he had signed Gabe. But didn’t his professional integrity kick in at some point? Shouldn’t he stand for something? She closed the door on the irritating part of her mind that accused her of the same thing around her sexuality. That was different…wasn’t it?
“Wow. He didn’t sign him because he’s black?”
“He said Gabe wasn’t country enough, that my ‘boy isn’t genuine,’ which is code for not white enough.”
“Guess that explains why Darius Rucker is still the only black country star in the past decade,” Emma said. “But you digress. How have you messed everything up?”
Heather smiled, glad she had a true friend who saw beyond the veiled pretense of small talk, drove straight to the core of a conversation, and didn’t sugar-coat her words. “The quick version is Savana wants Louie to write her next album for her. If Louie does that, she’ll be working at Rocky Top for the next month or so. That means we can’t do anything about…” Heather briefly contemplated how she was about to categorize the thing that existed between her and Louie. “About the heat between the two of us until we stop working together. And even then only if Louie’s prepared to have a quiet relationship.”
“Sounds dull, but I understand. You’re in the closet, and you don’t want to endanger your career. You have a ‘plan,’ and you’re sticking to it.”
Heather smarted at the statement, but Emma’s observation was on the nose. They’d discussed her plans for her own label over many bottles of wine. “It sounds particularly callous when you say it like that.”
“On the clock, babe. No time to play nice. You were telling me how you’ve managed to mess everything up.”
“Fine.” Heather pulled up in her spot at the Rocky Top lot and cut the engine. “I had every intention of having a reasonable discussion with Louie and telling her exactly that, but instead I said I wouldn’t act on anything that may damage my career. I must’ve sounded like an absolute bitch.” She pulled her keys from the ignition and shoved them in her handbag. “Then I walked out.”
“Without saying anything else?”
“Exactly.”
“I can see why you called me. Tonight at nine. We’ll figure this out over Thai and some Tiger beer. Don’t worry, Feathers. Louie seems pretty astute, and I bet she’s already got you worked out. No need to make some false conflict out of this, okay?”
Heather snorted. She didn’t want Louie to have already worked her out. Straightforward was boring and surely wouldn’t keep someone as worldly as Louie interested for long. “Am I that transparent?”
“Yes. At least, you are for anyone who’s really interested in seeing you.”
Heather bit her lip and smiled. “You think Louie wants to see me?”
“From what you’ve told me about her, I do. Obviously, I’m going to have to meet Louie officially to make sure her intentions toward my Feathers are noble and to give my permission and approval.”
“You’re hilarious, Mom.” Heather got out of the car and closed the door. “Thanks for that. As always, your counsel is appreciated.”
“Your humble servant, miss,” Emma said. “Will you see Louie again before tonight?”
“Probably. She’s coming in to see Savana at eleven.”
“Right. Be enchanting and glamorous. And take Louie’s lead on pronouns. Look for any reactions to the use of ‘she,’ okay?”
“Enchanting. Glamorous. Pronouns. Got it.” Heather shouldered her
oversized handbag that held her life within it and started toward the office. “And when we’re done with my crap tonight, you can tell me about your secret rendezvous with your mystery man.” She ended the call before Emma could respond. She was certain there was more to last night than one of Emma’s regular dalliances and wanted all the details. First though, she had to make amends with Louie. Tall, handsome Louie. She owed it to herself to explore their attraction. She was so different from her previous girlfriends, and Heather had no doubt that was definitely a good thing.
***
“Did you sleep in?”
“Huh, I wish,” Heather said, trying to act nonchalant instead of showing her surprise at Savana sitting in her office as she arrived. “I had to stop by Gabe Duke’s house to let him know Donny’s decision.”
Savana inclined her head slightly. “Had to or wanted to?”
Heather shrugged her handbag onto her desk and collapsed into her chair. It wasn’t as comfortable as Louie and Gabe’s sofa, and she already wished she was back there, making out with Louie. I wonder how she kisses. “Both. I wasn’t sure he was going to take the rejection well. He’s young and seems quite vulnerable. If I were in his position, I would’ve appreciated someone coming to me personally rather than texting or emailing to turn me down. Wouldn’t you?”
Savana pushed a coffee cup Heather’s way and sighed. “It’s been a long time since someone turned me down. For anything. And you might say I was lucky, because I was discovered when I was sixteen. I didn’t have to jump through hoops like a lot of artists have to. It was sweet of you to see him personally though. I admire that, and you were brave. It could’ve gotten nasty.”
Heather shook her head. “No way. Gabe is such a gentle soul. And Louie was there so I wasn’t alone with him. Not that I was worried.” Savana’s concerns for Heather’s safety resonated slightly. Maybe personal visits to people the label turned down weren’t such a good idea.
“Was Louie ready for our meeting?”
Heather smiled as she recalled the scruffy state Louie was in. She’d clearly just gotten out of bed and though she was quite adorable, she certainly wasn’t dressed for a career-launching meeting with Savana. “I interrupted her getting ready.”
Savana raised her eyebrows. “Did you see something you liked?”
“What? No. What do you mean?” Heather panicked at Savana’s question. How could she possibly know Heather was gay?
“Sorry. You had a wistful look in your eyes as if you were remembering what Louie looked like this morning. Am I wrong?”
“I’m not—”
“I know you’re not out at work. I thought it might help our working relationship if you knew I was sympathetic, that’s all. But if you’re not comfortable talking about it, that’s fine, too.”
Heather forced a smile. That was shaky ground. She couldn’t deny that being best buddies with the great Savana Hayes appealed, but a few alarm bells were ringing with her behavior around Donny. When Savana had first arrived, Heather was beyond excited. How had things changed? She couldn’t see why Savana would have a questionable agenda, and it wasn’t like Heather to be so suspicious. She liked to take people at face value, and Savana had been nothing but nice since she’d arrived. And she’d personally asked for Heather to be her exec. She dismissed her paranoia and decided to trust her. “I’m sorry. I just have to be careful. How did you know?”
Savana smiled as she reached over the desk and placed her hand on Heather’s. “I believe it’s called ‘gaydar,’ isn’t it? There’s no need to worry. If there’s anything I’m good at, it’s keeping a secret.”
The warmth of Savana’s hand flooded heat through Heather’s body and muddled…everything. Savana had been one of Heather’s greatest idols for over a decade. It was Savana’s music that fueled Heather’s fire to come to Nashville, and while it hadn’t worked out quite as planned, this place still felt like home. She quelled the rising panic at her body’s hair-trigger reaction to Savana’s touch. She’s my artist. And she’s straight. Resisting the near-overpowering urge to pull her hand away from Savana’s, Heather said, “I’d appreciate that. It’s hard balancing ambition against personal freedom.”
Savana removed her hand and sat in the chair opposite Heather. “I’m sure. And Louie?”
Heather looked at her hand that remained frozen and uncooperative. “There’s nothing between Louie and me.” Heather felt the need to keep that part secret but wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like Savana needed to be protected from the truth or that she might be jealous of Heather’s feelings for Louie. Heather just didn’t want idle gossip about her sexuality going around the office any more than it might already be, and she didn’t want anyone knowing she was attracted to Louie. Above everything, Heather was determined to keep her career plan on track.
Savana leaned back and crossed her legs. “Good.”
Good, why? “You’re worried about my professionalism?”
Savana got up from the chair. “Absolutely not. Remember that I asked for you to be my exec, and I wouldn’t have joined this label if Donny hadn’t given you the position.”
She walked to the door, and Heather blinked and shook her head as she realized she was watching Savana’s ass as she glided across the floor. “And I’ll be eternally grateful for this opportunity, Savana. I promise not to let you down.”
Savana smiled, showing her teeth in an almost predatory fashion.
“I know you won’t. Bring Louie to the studio at eleven. I’d like you to stay with us for the meeting if you don’t mind.”
“Of course,” Heather replied as Savana closed the door. She began to wonder about the nature of Savana’s request. Was she worried Louie would hit on her? Would Louie hit on her, especially now that Heather had made such an ass of herself and acted like an ice queen? She resolved to speak to Louie before taking her down to meet with Savana. She’d invite her out for a drink and explain herself. And maybe Louie could dig out the bad seeds Mia had planted about Louie’s past.
Chapter Twenty
Nailing the job with Savana was easier than Louie had thought it would be. The hardest part was trying to concentrate on Savana instead of being distracted by Heather’s presence, especially after she’d asked Louie to go for coffee once the meeting concluded. Louie ran her hand through her hair again, reminded that she should hit Gabe’s barber.
“I’ve never been in here before. I love the restroom; all the fixtures are exposed copper piping,” Heather said as she slid into the booth to sit opposite Louie.
“It’s a cute place, isn’t it? I discovered it a couple of days ago. The freak shakes are amazing.” Louie took a breath, aware that she got terribly talkative when her nerves kicked in. The waitress approached with their drinks, and time seemed to stretch on while Louie added brown sugar to her tea, and Heather added sweetener to her coffee. “Did you know that sweeteners were originally developed as rat poison?”
“So I hear. Lucky I’m not a rat.”
Louie laughed. “As long as you’re not a love rat, I’m fine with whatever you are.”
Heather folded the little packets and placed them neatly beside her cup. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Fire away. It seems to be the day for it.” Louie’s meeting with Savana had seemed more like a personal fact-finding exercise than any sort of audition to be her songwriter.
Heather stirred her coffee and looked thoughtful. “That’s kind of what I wanted to ask you about. Did it bother you when Savana asked about what pronouns you use?”
Louie shook her head. “I like it, even though it doesn’t apply to me because I’m just your regular lesbian who doesn’t fit into society’s view of what a woman should look like. It shows a level of consideration I appreciate. I don’t mind that people might think I’m gender fluid, or trans, or a guy. None of those things are an insult, not in my eyes anyway.”
“If only everyone in the world thought that way.”
The sadness in Heather’s
voice hinted at personal experience of prejudice. Louie considered withholding any questions about it but decided to run with it. “It must be hard for you, not being out at work?”
“It’s not just that. It’s all the discrimination—race, gender, sexuality.” She paused as if to measure her response. “I don’t want to hide, Louie. But I have to. For now, at least.”
Heather moved her hand across the table as if reaching for Louie, but she pulled it back and picked up her mug instead. Louie gripped her own cup harder, struggling to control the urge to touch her. Heather had made it clear that morning that getting the gig with Savana meant staying away from a romantic entanglement. “Is no one at Rocky Top out?”
Heather shook her head. “No. And even if anyone was thinking about it, after what happened to Aaron, I’m pretty sure they would’ve changed their minds. It’s not a progressive label in that respect, or in any respect for that matter. Why else would we have turned down a talent like Gabe? I just need to stay there long enough to build a reputation and get the means to finance my own label. Then I can be…me.”
“And that’s why you blew me off this morning?” Louie grinned and hoped Heather knew she was teasing her. The mood needed to be lightened despite the bombshell that Gabe hadn’t been signed because of the color of his skin. If Rocky Top was indicative of Nashville’s intolerance, they needed a plan to take Gabe to the top without the backing of a big label.
“Oh, God, I knew I’d made an ass of myself. I didn’t mean to be so dismissive…”
Heather trailed off, and while Louie felt she knew what Heather seemed unable to say, she wanted to hear it directly from her lips. Louie needed to know she wasn’t making something out of nothing. She had to know that Heather coming on to her at the Bluebird wasn’t a one-time thing and she’d never get another opportunity. “Dismissive of what?”