Aiden (Members From Money Book 8)

by Katie Dowe

  Ciara never thought she could fall in love so quickly. The children, instead of allowing her to feel sorry for them, engaged her in conversation about life in general.

  “We call ourselves angels,” an emaciated red haired girl by the name of Clarice told her during a lull in the conversation. They had abandoned the television as soon as Ciara had introduced several games and word challenges to them.

  “Why is that?” she asked the little girl as she came and sat beside her.

  “Because we have a very short time to live,” Michael piped up with his cheerful smile. “We were not made to stay on earth for very long.”

  Ciara stared at them and did not know what to say. “What if there is a chance that you could live longer?”

  “We do not feel sorry for ourselves, Ciara, and we do not expect others to,” Clarice told her seriously. “We have accepted what we have and we are okay with it.”

  “What about your parents?”

  “My mother is very angry all the time and ends up fighting with my dad as if it is his fault.” This time it was Lilly who spoke up. She was so weak that she had to be lying down, propped up on pillows. “I have an older sister who is as healthy as a horse but she does not come to see me. I told her that what I have she cannot catch it, but she will not listen.” She looked at the bulge of Ciara’s pregnancy. “What kind of baby are you having?”

  “A boy.” Ciara felt like crying as she listened to them. She had come here expecting to be the one cheering them up and giving them counseling advice, but they were the ones reaching out to her and touching her heart.

  “What are you going to name him?” Michael piped up.

  “We have not decided yet,” she told him gently.

  “Maybe you can name him after me. My middle name is Andrew.”

  “Those are very strong names,” she told him with a smile.

  She looked forward to going to the hospital the two days, and even though Angela warned her against becoming too attached, she could not help it and wanted to plead with Aiden to allow her to go more days, but he was adamant that it should be only two days.

  “You have Holly and your own health to think about,” he reminded her. “Don’t get too attached, Ciara. Those children don’t have very long to live.”

  He sounded very cool and distant to her and she did not like it. “I thought you would be a little more sympathetic, you are a father now.”

  “I am practical.” His blue eyes swept over her. She had been going there for the past three weeks and he had noticed that she looked more cheerful and effervescent. She did not complain whenever she had to play hostess, but he had cut back from the amount of entertaining they did. “They are terminal and that is the way it is.”

  “I wish there was something that could be done. Lilly is getting weaker by the day and Doctor Leyva said that she does not have long to live.”

  “I am sorry to hear that.” He came and crouched down in front of her. “How about throwing them a party?”

  “A party?” She knitted her brows at him.

  “That unit has a large recreational area that was built for something like that. You could provide the food and music and show them a good time. I am sure Leesa and the other wives would be amenable to the idea.”

  Her eyes glowed as she stared down at him. “I think it’s a wonderful idea!”

  Chapter 11

  Michael died the day after the party. Leesa and the other wives had come on board, and as per Leesa’s style, it had become more than just a normal party and had turned out to include the rest of the patients in the hospital. The children had received toys and tokens from the wives who had taken their children as well. Ciara had been overwhelmed at the level of support and had been happy that Aiden had suggested it.

  She had taken Holly with her to the party and she had fit in so well, not asking a lot of questions about why the children looked the way they did but sitting with them and joining in on their conversations. She had asked the questions when they were on their way home that evening.

  “Mommy, do you think they are going to get better?” she asked after they had gone a few minutes into the journey home. It had been a very full day and Ciara was feeling tired and feeling the weight of the baby way down into her uterus.

  She glanced back at the pretty girl and saw the look of sadness on her face. She had had an argument with Aiden, who had not been sure if taking Holly there was a good idea and looking at her she was wondering if it was too. “They are very sick, honey,” she said, not really knowing what to say.

  “I wish I could do something and make them better.”

  “So do I, honey.” She sent her a quick smile. “Did you have fun?”

  Holly nodded solemnly. “They are so sick and Lilly told me that she did not have many toys. Can I give her some of mine? And the other girls too. I was thinking I could ask Daddy to buy some toys for the boys.”

  “That’s a lovely thought, honey,” Ciara had remarked, very proud of her.

  “I also want to be their friends.”

  “I am sure they would love that.”

  She had no idea the news would have affected her so much. It was Angela who called her with the news. It was not her day to go in and she had planned to have a picnic in the wooded area on the grounds with Holly because she did not have anything on as well. The party had lifted her spirits and she had thought it had been a very good idea. She had told Aiden that as well.

  “Angela, we are just getting ready to go and have a picnic by the stream. We wish you were here.”

  “I am afraid I have some bad new, darling,” her mother-in-law had begun, and before she could say anything else, she knew that one of the kids had died but she was thinking of Lilly.

  “It’s Michael.”

  She sat on the side of the bed for a little bit, her spirits plummeting. She was aware that they would die eventually, but she was thinking that maybe it would be some time in the distant future. It was too soon! Automatically, her hands went to her belly and she rubbed it slowly, smiling a little as her son made his presence felt by pushing against her. Suddenly, it hit her! She was carrying a baby and she did not know what the future held for him! She had given no thought to that aspect of it. The nursery was in the process of being set up because she could not be conclusive about the shade of blue she wanted. She knew that the decorator was getting impatient and she had apologized, but her husband had told her impatiently that he was getting paid so there was no need to be apologizing all the time but she was not used to people waiting on her and looking to her for decisions like that. She was going to be responsible for a life and she had no idea what it will be like! What if she did not make a good mother?

  She reached for the phone again and called Aiden. “I am heading into a meeting.” His voice sounded distracted and she hated to feel as if she was bothering him.

  “Michael died.”

  “Who?”

  “One of the kids at the hospital.”

  “I am sorry to hear that. Are you okay?”

  “I started thinking about our son and wondering if I will make a good mother. How are we going to keep him safe?”

  “That is one area you do not want to go into, Ciara. Our son will be okay,” he said firmly.

  “How do you know that?” she cried.

  “I just know. Look, I will talk to you when I get home. Stop worrying.” He hung up from her.

  Ciara wished she had the authority and confidence of his love so she could tell him to come home because she needed him or he could pick it from just talking to her. But he had never told her he loved her and she had stopped saying it to him, not wanting to force her emotions onto him. The only time he lost control with her was when they were making love, then he was a totally different person with a softness around him that she could hardly believe. His mother had told her that he had been brought up by a dad who did not believe in displaying emotions.

  “I remember one time he scraped his knees while pl
aying outside with his toy airplane and he came running in crying. He could not have been more than three years old.” She had tapped her chin thoughtfully. “His father was just leaving to go to the office and he picked him up until he was looking him square in the eyes and told him that he should man up and stop behaving like a sissy.” Angela had shaken her head sadly. “From that day onwards, I have never seen my son cry again. He went to school, and even when the others picked a fight with him, he made sure he defended himself. I would see the bruises on his knuckles and when I asked him about it, he would tell me it was nothing. I used to go into my room and cry silently because I could not let Anton see me doing so, he would take it out on Aiden. I am sorry you are the one who has to try and break through the defenses he has put up for years, my dear, but I was too timid to try and rock the boat.”

  But he was capable of emotions because she had seen him around Holly and how the little girl had him wrapped around her little finger. But with her, he was cool and distant except when they were making love. She loved him so much that she could hardly breathe when he was near her and she wanted so much for him to return that love!

  Putting a bright smile on her face, she went downstairs and into the kitchen to get Edward to pack a basket. She had promised Holly a picnic and she was going to get one!

  ******

  That evening, she waited for him to say something to her. She had enjoyed the walk in the woods with the trees acting as shade from the brilliant sun and the delicious food that Edward had put together for both of them. She had found a way to tell Holly about Michael and the little girl had been silent for bit then she had said, “At least he is not sick anymore.” She had said in a matter-of-fact voice before she had continued eating. Holly had put it into perspective for her and made her feel a whole lot better!

  Angela had spoken to her about him and had told her that the children had been so happy for the party because Michael had died happy.

  He had come home late while she had gone upstairs and she had bathed and waited for him to come in. He had taken off his clothes and gone into the bathroom with just a cursory greeting. She fumed and waited for him to come out.

  “Thank you for asking me how I am dealing with Michael’s death,” she said frostily as he came back inside with a towel slung low on his hips.

  He looked over at her for a moment as if he was wondering what she was talking about. “I had meetings all day. We lost a shipment of drugs in transit and it was hell trying to get someone to account for the loss.” He bit off a sigh as he took the towel off and came towards her. “How are you?”

  “I get it that your company is near and dear to you, Aiden, but I am your wife and I am carrying your child. Is it too much to ask for a little attention from you?”

  He climbed onto the bed and turned towards her. She was wearing a pale green lace nightgown that made her skin appear soft and translucent. “Hormones?” His thick brows lifted slightly as he stared at her mutinous expression.

  “You think it is hormones because I happen to be feeling grief for the death of a child and expect my husband to be a source of comfort to me?”

  “I am here now, aren’t I?” he asked her coolly. “I advised you against becoming emotionally attached to them because something like this was bound to happen” he told her impatiently.

  “I am not like you, Aiden, I cannot disassociate myself from what is going on around me. I actually have feelings,” she told him heatedly.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” His voice was soft and menacing.

  “The only time I see anything remotely looking like feelings is when we are making love,” she told him bluntly.

  “Maybe that is the only time I feel anything!” The remark was uttered in a tone devoid of emotions and had Ciara staring at him for a long time. “Go to sleep, Ciara, you are too high strung right now to have a logical conversation.”

  “Go to hell!” she whispered, and easing herself up, she climbed off the bed.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Far away from you.” She wrenched the door open and went past the sitting room and into one of the other bedrooms, locking the door behind her. She went over to the bed and got on it, hoping that maybe he would come after her, but she lay there waiting until she fell asleep and he did not come.

  She overslept the next morning, and when she got downstairs, he had already left. She had looked for some indication that he was remorseful and had left a note, but there was none. She listened to Holly’s chatter throughout breakfast, but her heart was not in it! Suddenly, she just wanted to be alone and grieve in her own way. He was fiercely attracted to her and that much she knew, but she needed more from him and he refused to open up himself to her. Holly had swimming lessons as Aiden had hired a swimming coach to come and teach her. Ciara usually stayed out by the pool with them and watched, but this time she really wished she could go back upstairs and crawl into bed. But the little girl was expecting her to be there.

  She had just rested back on the lounge chair when her phone rang. “How are you?” It was Regina and her eyes closed as she heard the girl’s voice.

  “Hanging in there,” she said shakily. “Is there any way you could come over?”

  “Of course, honey. I will feed the baby and leave him with the nanny.”

  She came by an hour later, armed with a huge beach bag that she hauled out of her vehicle. Holly’s swimming lessons had finished and Ciara had sent her up to go and take a nap after lunch. Aiden had not called her and she was determined not to call him either.

  “I love the different smells of summer.” She inhaled deeply, waving to the gardeners who were pruning the hedges. “Give me a minute to change into my swimwear and we can talk until we fall asleep.” She greeted Ciara with a kiss on the cheek before hurrying into one of the cabanas to go and change.

  She came back wearing a red one-piece bathing suit and her natural curls pulled back into a ponytail. A maid had brought out a tall jug of lemonade and some delicate looking cookies and sandwiches. “I was surprised to hear about Michael even though considering their situations it should not have come as a shock to me,” Regina commented as she sipped her ice cold lemonade.

  “I was more into thinking that Lilly was the one who would go first.” Ciara rested her hands on her belly for a moment and then looked off over to where the water was cascading over several manmade rocks and making a splash into the brilliant blue water of the pool. It was a lovely day in spite of the intense heat and she loved the feel of the sun on her skin. “Aiden told me not to get emotionally involved.” She laughed shakily. “But how could I not?”

  “Honey, I was there for one day and I fell in love with them let alone you who spent a month with them.” She shook her head. “Men have a way of distancing themselves from things like those.”

  “Aiden is emotionally unavailable.” She looked at Regina for a minute and then looked away. “His mother told me how his father treated him. Telling him to ‘man up’ from a very young age and he was not allowed to cry.”

  “Sometimes, we as parents create situations that carry into adulthood and make it hard for us to form any sort of bond with people,” Regina said impatiently.

  “My dad left when I was a child and I kept looking for him to come back home to us. My mother would see me crying and would tell me to suck it up.” She smiled sadly. “I used to wait until I was alone in my room before I would give in to tears. Aiden and I have so much in common where that is concerned, but he refuses to let me in.”

  “You have to keep trying.” Regina looked at her sympathetically. The sadness coming from her was like the heat coming from the paved driveway: intense and wilting. “He would never have married you if he did not feel something.”

  “I am getting tired of trying to make him see that it is different, we are different, and that we have to try. I don’t want to bring my son into a marriage that is one-sided and I swear if he starts behaving like his father to our son, I am not goin
g to put up with it.”

  “When I fell in love with Paul, I thought I was fighting for something that was impossible.” Regina laughed softly. “I kept telling myself that he was still in love with his dead wife and he was going to constantly compare me to her. The sex was amazing, but he would shut down after it was over.”

  “What did you do?” Ciara looked at her fascinated.

  “I pushed until he realized he could not do without me. The point I am making, Ciara, is this: I have seen Aiden around you and have seen the way he looks at you.” She reached out to touch her hand. “You have to keep at it because something is there.”

  *****

  To her surprise, he came home very early that evening. It was still light out and they were having dinner beneath one of the canopies outdoors. Angela had come home at five and they had been talking about the children. They were eating hamburgers and fries with lemonade when they saw him coming towards them.

  “Daddy!” Holly screamed as she got up from the table and ran towards the tall, handsome man making his way to them. He had taken off his jacket and was in his light blue shirt. The breeze had mussed his hair and tendrils fell over his forehead. Ciara felt her heart skip a beat as she looked at him. She had not been able to sleep last night because she was not cuddled up next to him.

  “Hey, sprite!” He caught her up into his arms and carried her the rest of the way.

  “Why are you home in the daylight?” Her voice carried to him.

  “Because I wanted to come home and spend time with my favorite girls.” His eyes met Ciara’s before he looked at his daughter. “And besides it is not very early, sweetie, it is actually approaching night now. Mother. Ciara.” He bent to put Holly into her chair.

  “Aren’t you going to kiss Mommy?” Holly asked him with a little frown.

  “Just what I was about to do.” He leaned forward and stared at her for a moment before bending his head to kiss her lightly on the lips, causing a shiver inside her. “I see we are having hamburgers for dinner. Another reason why I came home early.”