Better off Dead Book Four

by Odette C. Bell

  “One day, you’ll have something to share,” I scrawled across the page.

  “I already have something to share.” Words appeared on the page out of nowhere.

  I wasn’t expecting them, and I doubled back in fright. Clutching a hand over my racing heart, it didn’t take long until I crunched forward. Shaking, clapping a hand over my mouth, I whispered, “Sonos? Sonos? Is that really you?”

  There was no reply.

  Crunching over the paper again, my fingers slicking with sweat, I scrawled once more. “Sonos, are you there?”

  “We are all always somewhere.”

  Tears streamed down my face. I’d just come to terms with the fact that I’d likely killed him after destroying his snow globe. Now I fell down to my knees, a shaking mess. My hair tumbled over my face. It took a long time before I found the strength to push back. Still shaking and incapable of holding the pen still, I wrote, “I’m so sorry for destroying your dream. I had no idea. I didn’t think it through. I should never have activated it in the Deep.”

  “There are unforeseen consequences for every action. If there weren’t, there would be no freedom in this world. If we could dictate exactly what happened when we wanted it to, we would be trapped in our own minds.”

  “Sonos, where are you? Just tell me that. Hilliker isn’t out yet. I... at least I don’t think he is. I have a chance to save you. Just tell me where you are. Please.” As I wrote that, tears streamed down my face.

  “We are always somewhere.”

  “Sonos, please, just give me an actual location. I know you don’t want me coming to find you. I know you think it’s a trap. But just tell me where you are,” I wrote, sobbing the whole time. I rocked back and forth against the desk so hard, I moved it a few centimeters on the carpet.

  “We are always somewhere.”

  “Sonos—” I stopped. Realization began to dawn on me. It made me cold all over. “Is this really you, Sonos?”

  “There is no true reality behind any one thing. For reality is, by definition, the experience of all.”

  I slumped back. I dragged the paper off the table with me and clutched it in my lap. Still shaking, now holding the pen with a white-knuckled grip, I settled the nib down. “What is this paper?”

  “Wisdom parchment,” the paper replied.

  I squeezed my eyes shut. I’d made myself think I’d been speaking to Sonos, but all along I’d just been talking to some glorified philosophical spell.

  I clamped my hand over my face and dragged my fingernails down until I left red streaks along the skin.

  I went to throw the paper away and shove the pen back on the desk, but at the last moment my hands wouldn’t work. They were clamped around both objects as if they were the only safety I would ever get in this world again.

  I understood what a wisdom spell was. When you didn’t have anyone else to rely on and you had something so confidential you couldn’t exactly ask an agony aunt, you could craft a wisdom spell instead. All you had to do was gather the kind of wisdom you needed. If you were overly fond of old Victorian detective novels and you wanted to draw on the knowledge of Arthur Conan Doyle and his famous characters, all you would have to do was feed the wisdom spell his books. If you were looking for something a bit more modern, and you wanted to plumb the wisdom of current leaders, all you’d have to do was gather together their writings and feed it to the spell instead. All the spell ultimately did was break down that person’s personality through their words and give you an approximation of what they would tell you if you met them in person.

  This was a waste of my time. But... as pathetic as it sounded, at least it was somebody to talk to. Placing the paper back on the table, I pulled myself up. I sat in the chair. I was cold and sweaty, and my breath was too ragged. It sounded as if I’d been running a marathon. And I had. I’d had my hopes heightened that Sonos was alive only to have them smashed like a fist to the face.

  “Tell me what to do,” I wrote on the page.

  “State your problem.”

  “I need to save the three realms from the Banished.”

  “Then you have no option but to save the three realms from the Banished.”

  The advice was so damn direct. It was true. It wasn’t as if I had any other option.

  I squeezed my eyes closed. “But I have to save Sonos. He is the master of this paper. Presumably, he’s the one who created this spell. He’s in trouble. I just... I know he doesn’t have that much time left. But if I go after him...” I couldn’t finish that sentence. I couldn’t bring myself to put the pen back on the paper. Because to do that – to write it and actually see it on a page – would hammer home that I really had no other option.

  I squeezed my eyes closed. I felt a flicker of magic. The philosophy spell was replying. It took me a long time to open my eyes and stare down.

  “It is not up to you to save those who do not wish to be saved.”

  “How do you know that Sonos told me not to save him?”

  “We do not. It is based simply on the first sentence you wrote. You must save the three realms from the Banished. You cannot focus on saving a single individual when all are at stake. We know what our master would want in this circumstance – not to get in the way.”

  I hated seeing that. I wanted to screw the paper up and throw it at the wall. Instead I crunched down, now holding the pen with such sweaty fingers, it threatened to slip it any moment.

  I shook my head hard. “I don’t want to lose him.”

  “You can only lose the things that you have. And you never truly have another person. You travel with them. But you will have nothing if the three realms crumble.”

  I fancied that this paper was telling me exactly what Sonos would if he were here.

  “I don’t know how to begin. I don’t know how to find my sister. I’m in a holding pattern. I’m just waiting for Hilliker. When he comes, I’m telling myself I have the power to fight him, but deep down, I know that’s not true.”

  “Then you must find the power to defeat him.”

  I let out a blast of a laugh that shook through my lips as violently as a gale smashing into windows. “It’s not that easy, is it? I’m facing off against the power of the Banished. It has already almost completely manifested.”

  “There is great power in the three realms. The Banished cannot access that. The more Hilliker accesses the Banished, the more he loses access to the power of the three realms.”

  I blinked back my surprise. “What?”

  “The power of the Banished is completely at odds with the power within the three realms. As Hilliker abandons it, he will lose his connection. You must take advantage of that fact.”

  “Why has no one ever told me this before?” I stammered that question out loud as I wrote it on the page.

  “Perhaps you never phrased it that way. Reality and what you see of it is dependent on how you question it.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. When I opened my eyes again, I palmed my sweaty fringe out of my face. “So what do I do? Gather spells – every single damn spell I can find?”

  “That is up to you. You must draw on all of the power of the realms. You must use that which he cannot.”

  I’d been excited when the paper had first revealed this to me, but now my gut clenched as I appreciated it wouldn’t be so easy. I pulled my lip between my teeth and I ran it back and forth, back and forth. “I don’t even know where Hilliker is being kept. I have no clue how much time I have.”

  “That is easy to answer. He is in this mansion.”

  I froze. It felt as if someone passed a thousand volts up my spine. Shuddering, giving the greatest shake I ever had, I jerked my head around as if Hilliker would be right behind me.

  He wasn’t.

  I felt more magic pick up across the page, and I darted my gaze back in time to see the paper write, “Our Lord and Master Sonos returned here not long ago. He left the vault box containing Hilliker in the library.”


  “Has Hilliker escaped yet?” It was a stupid question. The very second he escaped, he would appear by my side and wrap his hands around my throat. But it still had to be asked.

  “He is contained. But with every second, he fights against the vault box. It will not be much longer.”

  “How long do I have?” I spluttered as I wrote that.

  “You may have half an hour. An hour at the most.”

  That was great – in a way, at least. It told me that Hilliker wouldn’t appear behind me immediately. But at the same time, having a timeline like that was like having a death sentence.

  I thought I’d been cold and sweaty before, but now it was as if I’d been dumped in ice-cold water. I placed a hand on my stomach and let my fingers sink all the way in as if I was trying to anchor my body so it wouldn’t float away. “What do I do exactly? You have to tell me. You’re wisdom paper, aren’t you? Tell me what Sonos would do.”

  “My wisdom is not built on that of my lord and master.”

  “What?”

  “He built my wisdom on another.”

  “Who?”

  “I am built on a series of diaries.”

  “Whose diaries?”

  “They are in the library.”

  “I need you to tell me exactly how to fight Hilliker—”

  I heard something. At first it was slight – just a distant scratching. Then an almighty alarm picked up. It was so terrifying, I jolted backward out of the chair and fell flat on my ass.

  I bolted to my feet. I went to run through the halls to find out what it was, then I realized I’d have a better chance if I asked the paper. I scrawled so quickly, I could’ve lost my hand. “What is that?”

  “An intruder alarm. A damned creature has just slipped through the mansion’s defenses. They will be dealt with.”

  I went to write good, but I froze. “Is it a rat? A rat with saw blade teeth?”

  “Correct. It will be—”

  “No,” I shrieked. Then I scrawled as fast as I could. “He’s my friend. He’s Mr. Fenticle. Let him in.”

  “As you wish.”

  Tucking the paper and pen under my arm and picking my skirts up around me, I ran for the door. I paused before I thrust through. I stared at Sonos’s simple bedroom. I let the poignant sadness of it seep in for just one more second, then I threw myself out of the door.

  Somehow, I already had a pretty good handle on this mansion. I had an okay sense of direction usually, but I knew for a fact that places like this were warrens. Yet I knew exactly how to get back to the front door. As I threw myself down the stairs, it was in time to see it opening.

  Mr. Fenticle was there. He was smoking. I did not mean by that that he had grabbed a cigarette from a drugstore. His fur was slightly singed, and steam was wafting off his teeth.

  “Mr. Fenticle.” I actually thrust down to my knees, skidded over, and opened my arms as if we’d been long-time friends.

  Mr. Fenticle looked at me, walked over, and patted me properly on the shoulder. “I thank you for ensuring that I was not burned to a crisp. I assume that was you.”

  Realizing he wasn’t about to hug me, I dropped my hands and nodded. “I found this.” I pulled up the paper and pen from under my arm.

  He looked impressed. “Wisdom paper. Paper that belongs to a General of the Damned, no less. This is good. It will give us an advantage.” Mr. Fenticle locked his hands behind his back as he tilted his head up and stared at the atrium. He whistled through his saw blade teeth, and it was a strange sound indeed. “Have you found anything that can help us?”

  “Aren’t you going to ask me where I was?” I pushed up to my feet.

  “Why, where were you?”

  I tilted my head up and closed my eyes as I remembered the pure confusion of the Deep. “Never mind. We... we have to figure out how to fight Hilliker. We’ve got an hour at most, likely only half an hour.”

  “How do you know that?” He locked his sharp gaze on me.

  “Because this paper told me.” I proffered it.

  “We need to find out where Hilliker is being kept and keep an eye on him.”

  My stomach kicked. “Follow me.”

  I’d already encountered the library. When I’d seen it, I’d just ducked my head in. I hadn’t gone in long enough to notice that Hilliker’s vault box was in there. Now as I walked in through the primary library doors, I saw that it was right there sitting on a desk near the far wall. There was nothing else on the desk save for a candle. It must have somehow been magically linked to the defenses of the box, because it had almost completely burned away.

  Mr. Fenticle jolted as he saw it, and his eyes widened with a snap. “I see,” he said through a wheeze.

  I locked my hands in front of myself. It was like I was trying to make them a cage for my fear. But there was nothing I could do to keep it inside. Eventually I gathered the gumption to walk over to the box. By the time I got within several steps of it, I felt its energy. It was blazing. I stared at the candle. It was melting even quicker.

  Half an hour might sound like a lot, but as every second ticked down, it drew me closer to Hilliker’s hands around my neck. I patted at my throat now, my fingers tensed and white. “The wisdom paper told me that in order to fight Hilliker, I will have to rely on the power of the three realms. It said that the Banished fundamentally does not use our energy and the more Hilliker relies on the power of the Banished, the less he will be able to use magic.”

  “That is wise indeed. Who or what is this wisdom paper based on? Is it Sonos’s own intelligence?”

  I shook my head. I remembered what the paper had said. I turned around and began to look for diaries. It wasn’t that hard to find them. While this room was completely filled with books, there was a shelf behind the desk and vault box that only had a few bound tan journals. I immediately jerked over to them. I didn’t know why the wisdom paper hadn’t been able to tell me whose journals they were. They were likely the Devil’s himself. Hell, considering Sonos’s moral proclivities, they could’ve even been from God. Instead as I plucked them out and stared at them, a certain name popped out.

  I almost dropped everything I was holding.

  “What is it?” Mr. Fenticle scuttled out from behind me.

  “This journal belongs to Eve,” I read aloud.

  These... these were my journals.

  If you’d asked me a few minutes ago, I would’ve told you that I had never journaled. But as I stared at these now, I realized I had. They were more of the memories that had been taken from me.

  Mr. Fenticle stared from the journals over to me, then back to the journals. “Are you telling me that parchment you currently hold is based on your own wisdom from when you were a 16-year-old?”

  I couldn’t answer that. It made no damn sense. On so many levels. You created wisdom paper out of somebody you respected the most. How the heck could Sonos have respected my teenage self?

  What had I known? Nothing but loneliness.

  I went to dump the journal back on the floor, but I thought better of it.

  “You should keep it. Place it in your subspace pocket. Look at it when you have the time.”

  “When I have the time? I have half an hour. No, 25 minutes. We’re screwed, aren’t we?”

  Mr. Fenticle’s eyes flashed with clear anger. “If you speak like that, then yes, we are by default. Because you cannot win if you do not try. Now.” He puffed his chest out and settled his clawed hands on his hips. He stared over at the box and the candle. “Your wisdom self told you that we must rely on the magic of the three realms. It is convenient that we are currently located in Hell in one of the most powerful general’s houses. There will be much here that will be able to help us. As for Heaven,” he made a face, “it is not exactly my area of expertise.”

  I instinctively clutched my cross. Now I was out of the prying gaze of the public, I was happy enough to pull it out of my bodice.

  He gazed at it.

  “I’ve got heav
en covered.” I smiled at him.

  “I assure you, while that cross is powerful, there are far more powerful heavenly objects.”

  “We don’t have the time to get them. Plus... this means something to me. So it’s powerful,” I added. That was not a question. It was a flat-out statement. I kept clutching the cross.

  “Very well, we have Hell and Heaven ticked off. We now simply need the realms of man.”

  I was still clutching the diary. I don’t know why, but my gaze jerked down to it.

  I opened the first page. “I still miss my sister. Every damn day. I think about her. Dream about her. I wish she was by my side. I will break her out. No matter what happens. I will break her out.”

  Shock tore through me. I’d... known about my sister back then? How had I forgotten her?

  “Of course, the journal.” Mr. Fenticle neared, a happy smile marching across his lips. “It comes from the earthly realm. It must be a powerful object indeed if it runs its own wisdom spell. Maybe it will be all we need.”

  I continued to flick through the journal. It was all about my sister. It was all about my deepest wishes to break her free.

  As I read, something rose up from within me. It was the first few flickers of broken memories. I did not know who had shattered them. But as they started to slip into place, I didn’t know how I’d lived without them, either.

  “The candle is losing more wax. We must decide where to have this fight.” Mr. Fenticle began to stalk around the room like a field general getting ready for a battle.

  “No. I have to break Lilly out first. I have to get to her. I need to find her,” I stammered. It wasn’t just me saying that. I read it in the journal. It was on almost every single page.

  “Though it would’ve been preferable to break her out before the major battle, we simply don’t have the time,” Mr. Fenticle echoed the reason that I could not see.

  “No. I need to find her. If I don’t, Hilliker will use her in the final battle. Plus, it doesn’t matter. She’s been waiting so long. I’ve been waiting so long,” I said. As I said that, I realigned with my memories. Everything slipped into place for just a few flickering seconds. I remembered a different childhood. I’d still technically been alone and an outcast at the orphanage, but in my heart, I’d always had my sister.