The Struggles of Brown, Jones, and Robinson

by Anthony Trollope

  CHAPTER IV.

  NINE TIMES NINE IS EIGHTY-ONE. SHOWING HOW BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSONSELECTED THEIR HOUSE OF BUSINESS.

  And haberdashery it was. But there was much yet to be done before anyterms for a partnership could be settled. Mr. Jones at first insistedthat he and his father-in-law should begin business on equal terms.He considered that any questions as to the actual right in theproperty would be mean after their mutual agreement to start in theworld as friends. But to this Mr. Brown, not unnaturally, objected.

  "Then I shall go back to my lawyer," said Jones. Whereupon he didleave the room, taking his hat with him; but he remained below in theold shop.

  "If I am to go into partnership with that man alone," said Mr. Brown,turning to his young friend almost in despair, "I may prepare for theGazette at once.--And for my grave!" he added, solemnly.

  "I'll join you," said Robinson. "I haven't got any money. You knowthat. But then neither has he."

  "I wish you had a little," said Mr. Brown. "Capital is capital, youknow."

  "But I've got that which is better than capital," said Robinson,touching his forehead with his forefinger. "And if you'll trust me,Mr. Brown, I won't see you put upon." The promise which Mr. Robinsonthen gave he kept ever afterwards with a marked fidelity.

  "I will trust you," said Mr. Brown. "It shall be Brown, Jones, andRobinson."

  "And Brown, Jones, and Robinson shall carry their heads high amongthe greatest commercial firms of this wealthy metropolis," saidRobinson, with an enthusiasm which was surely pardonable at such amoment.

  Mr. Jones soon returned with another compromise; but it was of a low,peddling nature. It had reference to sevenths and eighths, and wentinto the payments of the household bills. "I, as one of the partners,must object to any such arrangements," said Robinson.

  "You!--you one of the partners!" said Jones.

  "If you have no objection--certainly!" said Robinson. "And if youshould have any objection,--equally so."

  "You!--a bill-sticker!" said Jones.

  In the presence of William Brisket, George Robinson had been forcedto acknowledge that matter must still occasionally prevail over mind;but he felt no such necessity in the presence of Jones. "I'll tellyou what it is," said Robinson; "I've never denied my former calling.Among friends I often talk about it. But mind you, Mr. Jones, I won'tbear it from you! I'm not very big myself, but I think I could standup before you!"

  But in this quarrel they were stopped by Mr. Brown. "Let dogsdelight," he said or sung, "to bark and bite;--" and then he raisedhis two fat hands feebly, as though deprecating any further wrath.As usual on such occasions Mr. Robinson yielded, and then explainedin very concise language the terms on which it was proposed that thepartnership should be opened. Mr. Brown should put his "capital" intothe business, and be entitled to half the profits. Mr. Jones and Mr.Robinson should give the firm the advantage of their youth, energies,and genius, and should each be held as the possessor of a quarter.That Mr. Jones made long and fierce objections to this, need hardlybe stated. It is believed that he did, more than once, go back to hislawyer. But Mr. Brown, who, for the time, put himself into the handsof his youngest partner, remained firm, and at last the preliminarieswere settled.

  The name of the house, the nature of the business, and the shares ofthe partners were now settled, and the site of the future labours ofthe firm became the next question. Mr. Brown was in favour of a smalltenement in Little Britain, near to the entrance into Smithfield.

  "There would not be scope there," said Robinson.

  "And no fashion," said Jones.

  "It's safe and respectable," pleaded Mr. Brown. "There have beenshops in Little Britain these sixty years in the same families."

  But Robinson was of opinion that the fortunes of the firm mightnot improbably be made in six, if only they would commence withsufficient distinction. He had ascertained that large and commandingpremises might be had in St. Paul's Churchyard, in the frontageof which the square feet of plate glass could be counted by thehundred. It was true that the shop was nearly all window; but then,as Mr. Robinson said, an extended front of glass was the one thingnecessary. And it was true also that the future tenants must pay downa thousand pounds before they entered;--but then, as he explained,how could they better expend the trifle of money which theypossessed?

  "Trifle of money!" said Mr. Brown, thinking of the mountains ofbutter and years of economy which had been required to put togetherthose four thousand pounds;--thinking also, perhaps, of the absoluteimpecuniosity of his young partner who thus spoke.

  Jones was for the West End and Regent Street. There was a shop onlytwo doors off Regent Street, which could be made to look as if itwas almost in Regent Street. The extension of a side piece of plateglass would show quite into Regent Street. He even prepared a card,describing the house as "2 doors from Regent Street," printing thefigure and the words "Regent Street" very large, and the intermediatedescription very small. It was ever by such stale, inefficientartifices as these that he sought success.

  "Who'll care for your card?" said Robinson. "When a man's card comesto be of use to him, the thing's done. He's living in his villa bythat time, and has his five thousand a-year out of the profits."

  "I hope you'll both have your willas before long," said Brown, tryingto keep his partners in good humour. "But a cottage _horney_ will beenough for me. I'd like to be able to give my children their bit ofdinner on Sunday hot and comfortable. I want no more than that."

  That was a hard battle, and it resulted in no victory. The dingy shopin Little Britain was, of course, out of the question; and Mr. Brownassisted Robinson in preventing that insane attempt at aping theunprofitable glories of Regent Street. The matter ended in anothercompromise, and a house was taken in Bishopsgate Street, of whichthe frontage was extensive and commanding, but as to which it mustcertainly be confessed that the back part of the premises wasinconveniently confined.

  "It isn't exactly all I could wish," said Robinson, standing onthe pavement as he surveyed it. "But it will do. With a littleoriginality and some dash, we'll make it do. We must give it a name."

  "A name?" said Mr. Brown; "it's 81, Bishopsgate Street; ain't it?They don't call houses names in London."

  "That's just why we'll have a name for ours, Mr. Brown."

  "The 'Albert Emporium,'" suggested Jones; "or 'Victoria Mart.'"

  Mr. Jones, as will be seen, was given to tuft-hunting to thebackbone. His great ambition was to have a lion and unicorn, and tocall himself haberdasher to a royal prince. He had never realized thefact that profit, like power, comes from the people, and not fromthe court. "I wouldn't put up the Queen's arms if the Queen came andasked me," Robinson once said in answer to him. "That game has beenplayed out, and it isn't worth the cost of the two wooden figures."

  "'The Temple of Fashion' would do very well," said Jones.

  "The Temple of Fiddlestick!" said Robinson.

  "Of course you say so," said Jones.

  "Let dogs delight--" began Mr. Brown, standing as we were in themiddle of the street.

  "I'll tell you what," said Robinson; "there's nothing like colour.We'll call it Magenta House, and we'll paint it magenta from the roofto the window tops."

  This beautiful tint had only then been invented, and it was necessaryto explain the word to Mr. Brown. He merely remarked that the oil andpaint would come to a deal of money, and then gave way. Jones wasstruck dumb by the brilliancy of the idea, and for once forgot toobject.

  "And, I'll tell you what," said Robinson--"nine times nine iseighty-one."

  "Certainly, certainly," said Mr. Brown, who delighted to agreewith his younger partner when circumstances admitted it. "You areright there, certainly." Jones was observed to go through themultiplication table mentally, but he could detect no error.

  "Nine times nine is eighty-one," repeated Robinson with confidence,"and we'll put that fact up over the first-floor windows."

  And so they did. The house was painted magenta colour from top
tobottom. And on the front in very large figures and letters, wasstated the undoubted fact that nine times nine is 81. "If theywill only call us 'The nine times nine,' the thing is done," saidRobinson. Nevertheless, the house was christened Magenta House. "Andnow about glass," said Robinson, when the three had retired to thelittle back room within.

  Mr. Robinson, however, admitted afterwards that he was wrong aboutthe colour and the number. Such methods of obtaining attentionwere, he said, too easy of imitation, and devoid of any inherentattraction of their own. People would not care for nine times nine inBishopsgate Street, if there were nine times nines in other streetsas well. "No," said he; "I was but beginning, and made errors asbeginners do. Outside there should be glass, gas, gold, and glare.Inside there should be the same, with plenty of brass, and ifpossible a little wit. If those won't do it, nothing will." Allthe same the magenta colour and the nine times nine did have theireffect. "Nine times nine is eighty-one," was printed on the top ofall the flying advertisements issued by the firm, and the printingwas all done in magenta.

  Mr. Brown groaned sorely over the expenditure that was necessary inpreparation of the premises. His wish was that this should be paidfor in ready money; and indeed it was necessary that this shouldbe done to a certain extent. But the great object should have beento retain every available shilling for advertisements. In the wayof absolute capital,--money to be paid for stock,--4,000_l._ wasnothing. But 4,000_l._ scattered broadcast through the metropolis onwalls, omnibuses, railway stations, little books, pavement chalkings,illuminated notices, porters' backs, gilded cars, and men in armour,would have driven nine times nine into the memory of half theinhabitants of London. The men in armour were tried. Four suits wereobtained in Poland Street, and four strong men were hired who rodeabout town all day on four brewers' horses. They carried poles withlarge banners, and on the banners were inscribed the words whichformed the shibboleth of the firm;--

  _MAGENTA HOUSE_, 9 TIMES 9 IS 81, BISHOPSGATE STREET.

  And four times a day these four men in armour met each other in frontof the windows of the house, and stood there on horseback for fifteenminutes, with their backs to the curbstone. The forage, however, ofthe horses became so terribly large an item of expenditure that Mr.Brown's heart failed him. His heart failed him, and he himself wentoff late one evening to the livery stable-keeper who supplied thehorses, and in Mr. Robinson's absence, the armour was sent back toPoland Street.

  "We should have had the police down upon us, George," said Mr. Brown,deprecating the anger of his younger partner.

  "And what better advertisement could you have wished?" said Robinson."It would have been in all the papers, and have cost nothing."

  "But you don't know, George, what them beastesses was eating! Itwas frightful to hear of! Four-and-twenty pounds of corn a dayeach of 'em, because the armour was so uncommon heavy." The men inarmour were then given up, but they certainly were beginning tobe effective. At 6 P.M., when the men were there, it had becomeimpossible to pass the shop without going into the middle of thestreet, and on one or two occasions the policemen had spoken toMr. Brown. Then there was a slight accident with a child, and thenewspapers had interfered.

  But we are anticipating the story, for the men in armour did notbegin their operations till the shop had been opened.

  "And now about glass," said Robinson, as soon as the three partnershad retired from the outside flags into the interior of the house.

  "It must be plate, of course," said Jones. Plate! He might as wellhave said when wanting a house, that it must have walls.

  "I rather think so," said Robinson; "and a good deal of it."

  "I don't mind a good-sized common window," said Brown.

  "A deal better have them uncommon," said Robinson, interrupting him."And remember, sir, there's nothing like glass in these days. It hassuperseded leather altogether in that respect."

  "Leather!" said Mr. Brown, who was hardly quick enough for his juniorpartner.

  "Of all our materials now in general use," said Robinson, "glassis the most brilliant, and yet the cheapest; the most graceful andyet the strongest. Though transparent it is impervious to wet. Theeye travels through it, but not the hailstorm. To the power ofgas it affords no obstacle, but is as efficient a barrier againstthe casualties of the street as an iron shutter. To that which isordinary it lends a grace; and to that which is graceful it gives adouble lustre. Like a good advertisement, it multiplies your stocktenfold, and like a good servant, it is always eloquent in praise ofits owner. I look upon plate glass, sir, as the most glorious productof the age; and I regard the tradesman who can surround himself withthe greatest quantity of it, as the most in advance of the tradesmenof his day. Oh, sir, whatever we do, let us have glass."

  "It's beautiful to hear him talk," said Mr. Brown; "but it's the billI'm a thinking of."

  "If you will only go enough ahead, Mr. Brown, you'll find that nobodywill trouble you with such bills."

  "But they must be paid some day, George."

  "Of course they must; but it will never do to think of that now.In twelve months or so, when we have set the house well going, thepayment of such bills as that will be a mere nothing,--a thing thatwill be passed as an item not worth notice. Faint heart never wonfair lady, you know, Mr. Brown." And then a cloud came across GeorgeRobinson's brow as he thought of the words he had spoken; for hisheart had once been faint, and his fair lady was by no means won.

  "That's quite true," said Jones; "it never does. Ha! ha! ha!"

  Then the cloud went away from George Robinson's brow, and a sternfrown of settled resolution took its place. At that moment he made uphis mind, that when he might again meet that giant butcher he wouldforget the difference in their size, and accost him as though theytwo were equal. What though some fell blow, levelled as at an ox,should lay him low for ever. Better that, than endure from day to daythe unanswered taunts of such a one as Jones!

  Mr. Brown, though he was not quick-witted, was not deficient when thefeelings of man and man were concerned. He understood it all, andtaking advantage of a moment when Jones had stepped up the shop, hepressed Robinson's hand and said,--"You shall have her, George. Ifa father's word is worth anything, you shall have her." But in thiscase,--as in so many others,--a father's word was not worth anything.

  "But to business!" said Robinson, shaking off from him all thoughtsof love.

  After that Mr. Brown had not the heart to oppose him respecting theglass, and in that matter he had everything nearly his own way. Thepremises stood advantageously at the comer of a little alley, so thatthe window was made to jut out sideways in that direction, and afull foot and a half was gained. On the other side the house did notstand flush with its neighbour,--as is not unfrequently the case inBishopsgate Street,--and here also a few inches were made available.The next neighbour, a quiet old man who sold sticks, threatened alawsuit; but that, had it been instituted, would have got into thenewspapers and been an advertisement. There was considerable troubleabout the entrance. A wide, commanding centre doorway was essential;but this, if made in the desirable proportions, would have terriblycrippled the side windows. To obviate this difficulty, the exteriorspace allotted for the entrance between the frontage of the twowindows was broad and noble, but the glass splayed inwards towardsthe shop, so that the absolute door was decidedly narrow.

  "When we come to have a crowd, they won't get in and out," saidJones.

  "If we could only crush a few to death in the doorway our fortunewould be made," said Robinson.

  "God forbid!" said Mr. Brown; "God forbid! Let us have no bloodshed,whatever we do."

  In about a month the house was completed, and much to the regret ofboth the junior partners, a considerable sum of ready money was paidto the tradesmen who performed the work. Mr. Jones was of opinionthat by sufficient cunning such payments might be altogether evaded.No such thought rested for a moment in the bosom of Mr. Robinson. Alltradesmen should be paid, and paid well. But the great firm of Brown,Jones, and Robins
on would be much less likely to scrutinize the priceat which plate glass was charged to them per square foot, when theywere taking their hundreds a day over the counter, than they would benow when every shilling was of importance to them.

  "For their own sake you shouldn't do it," said he to Mr. Brown. "Youmay be quite sure they don't like it."

  "I always liked it myself," said Mr. Brown. And thus he would makelittle dribbling payments, by which an unfortunate idea was generatedin the neighbourhood that money was not plentiful with the firm.