Listen to Your Heart

by Becky Harmon

  “Is that lavender you’re wearing?” Steph asked, inhaling deeply.

  “It is. Do you like it?”

  “I freakin’ love it.” Steph inhaled deeply again.

  She shivered as Steph’s expulsion of breath grazed her neck. “I really need to sit down.”

  “Do you think you can make it back to the cottage? I’d rather be horizontal.”

  Jemini nodded, enjoying the spasm that rocked Steph’s body as she gently withdrew her hand from Steph’s pants.

  “You have to stop,” Steph said, hesitating between each word.

  “I’d like to apologize, but I wouldn’t mean it,” Jemini groaned. She took Steph’s hand and grabbed the flashlight from the table, pulling her out the door.

  Steph stopped as they entered her cottage. “I hope this doesn’t sound too insensitive, but would you mind if I ate before we went back to bed?”

  Jemini laughed. “Not at all.”

  “You promise you won’t leave, right?”

  Her laugh faded quickly as she heard the apprehension in Steph’s voice. “I’m not going to leave.” Jemini meant that she wouldn’t leave tonight, but she couldn’t help feeling like the words might mean so much more. She didn’t want to leave Steph, but she also wasn’t sure she knew how to stay.

  She pushed Steph into a chair at the table, popped the dish into the microwave for a minute, and searched the drawers until she found silverware and a plate. As she moved around Steph’s kitchen with a familiarity that surprised her, she caught Steph’s eye.

  “What?” she asked.

  “I like you being here.”

  “I like being here with you,” she said, placing the warmed plate of food in front of Steph.

  She slipped into the chair across from her, watching her dig into the casserole. The shorter strands of hair around Steph’s face had broken loose from her ponytail and she continually tucked them behind her ear as she ate. Jemini found the habitual action extremely sexy. Desire filled her again and she took a deep breath. She needed to clear things between them before they went any farther. She searched for the words to explain why she and her mother had left and why she had never came back.

  “My mom was a lesbian too,” she said finally, her voice soft.

  Steph looked up. “Really?”

  She nodded. “I guess she was the first lesbian Dorothy had met because when my mother told her Dorothy didn’t take it well.”

  Steph laid her fork down and stared at her. “What do you mean she didn’t take it well?”

  “Dorothy told her she was an abomination and then told her to leave and to never come back.” She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “I always dreamed of coming back when I was older. When I came out to her, Mom told me the truth about why we left. I believed Dorothy hated my mom and that she would hate me too.”

  “That’s why you left and never came back,” Steph said softly, realization finally sinking in. “That wasn’t the Dorothy I knew.”

  “I know.” Her tears flowed freely now.

  “She accepted me for who I was.” Steph’s voice was still filled with shock and surprise.

  “I know.”

  “I never saw the side of her your mother saw. It’s so hard for me to imagine her saying those things, but I know there were things Dorothy regretted until the day she died. I’m sure that was one of them. She wanted you to come back.”

  “It was hard to find out Dorothy wanted me to come back, but it was even harder to know I could’ve and she would have embraced me.”

  Steph stood, stepping around the table to pull Jemini into her arms. “I’m so sorry you didn’t get a chance to know her as an adult.”

  “I loved her so much, but I spent so many years reminding myself that her love was conditional.”

  Steph braced her hip against the table and Jemini clung tightly to her. Jemini relaxed into her arms and let the tears fall freely, twenty years of anguish melting away from her. She realized now just how much she really cared about Steph. She had waited her whole life for a woman that could make her feel loved, never thinking that it could be her. She wasn’t sure how long they stood there, but she didn’t want this feeling of love to ever end. Steph had healed the pain of the past by giving her more than she ever thought possible. Eventually she gave a final sob and pushed her head away from Steph’s chest.

  “You probably need a dry shirt.”

  Steph reached down and in one fluid motion pulled her shirt over her head. She bunched it in one hand and dabbed at the tears on Jemini’s face.

  Jemini smiled. “As chivalrous as that is, taking off your shirt only does one thing for me.”

  “And what’s that?”

  She placed several kisses on the exposed flesh at the top of Steph’s bra before looking up at her. “Makes me want the rest of your clothes to follow.”

  “My nefarious plan has worked then,” Steph said with a grin. She motioned toward the bedroom. “Shall we?”

  Jemini didn’t need a second invitation. She followed Steph, stripping her clothes off as she went. By the time she stopped at the bed and turned to look at Steph, she was wearing only her bra and underwear. Steph had been shedding her clothes as she followed, and now she closed the distance between them, pulling their hips together. Running her fingertips along the edge of the material, Steph traced the curve of each breast. She pulled the silk away from Jemini’s skin, sliding her tongue toward her nipple.

  “Just take it off, please.” Jemini begged.

  * * *

  Smiling at Jemini’s frustration, Steph unclipped the bra with one hand and pushed her back onto the bed. Her body quivered with anticipation as she stripped off the material remaining on her own body and lay down on top of Jemini. She pulled first one and then the other nipple into her mouth. It felt like she had been craving Jemini as long as she could remember and she wanted to savor every second.

  She could feel her own wetness coating Jemini’s thigh as she slid down her body. Several times she had to pull Jemini’s hand from between them. As badly as she wanted Jemini to touch her, she needed all of her concentration. She slid between Jemini’s legs and rested on her knees as she removed the last piece of clothing from Jemini’s body, dropping her peach-colored panties beside the matching bra on the floor.

  She layered kisses from Jemini’s stomach to her inner thigh before settling between her legs. She rested her head inches from Jemini’s center, letting each expulsion of breath drift across Jemini’s skin.

  “You’re killing me here,” Jemini said, her voice cracking.

  Steph ran her tongue through the wetness as she lifted her head.

  “Please,” Jemini begged.

  She spread her hand across Jemini’s chest, holding her tight against the bed as she buried her head between Jemini’s legs. She continued to stroke with her tongue as she sucked Jemini into her mouth. Jemini’s body convulsed as she exploded, screaming Steph’s name.

  She rested her head on Jemini’s stomach. Her body ached for another release, but at the same time she was content. She had heard Jemini call out her name and she liked it. Her mind drifted as she imagined going to sleep every night with the scent of Jemini nearby. She was just drifting off when she felt Jemini’s breathing grow shallow too. For a second she considered putting her head on a pillow, but before she could put her thoughts into action she was asleep.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Somehow in the night, their bodies had shifted and Jemini found herself snuggled comfortably into Steph’s back. She stretched her arm across Steph’s stomach, and Steph stirred, pulling Jemini’s hand up between her breasts. They lay quietly for several minutes before Steph spoke.

  “I need to go in to work for a couple hours. Will you wait here for me?”

  She raised up on one elbow and pushed Steph onto her back, looking down at her. “How can I convince you I’m not going to leave without telling you?”

  Steph shrugged. “It all feels so good I keep waiting for the
other shoe to drop.”

  “I’m not ready to leave you.” She held up a finger to keep Steph from talking. “Yet. I do have some errands to do in town, however, so I’m not going to sit here all day and wait for you to come back.”

  “Of course.” Steph grinned. “I didn’t mean that. Do you want to come back here tonight, or should I come over to Lake View?”

  “Why don’t you call me when you finish with work? I might be back at Dorothy’s by the time you finish.”

  “I can do that.” Steph rolled to her feet. “I’m going to shower. You’re welcome to join me.”

  “I don’t think you’ll make it to work if I join you.”

  Steph laughed and disappeared into the bathroom. Jemini swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. Her body was stiff and her muscles ached. She had barely convinced her legs to move again when Steph returned.

  “You’re fast.”

  Steph sent her an evil grin. “Not always.”

  “No, not always, but you are always bad.”

  Steph disappeared into the closet and returned wearing a white T-shirt and jeans. “Nah. I’m one of the good guys.” She kissed Jemini. “I’ll leave a key to the house on the table. Take it with you when you go and come back whenever you want.”

  She smiled. “Thanks. I might steal some clothes too.”

  “Take whatever you need.”

  She watched Steph clip her pistol to her jeans in the small of her back. Steph was one of the good guys and she felt very lucky to have her in her life. She was almost giddy with the thrill of what their future might hold.

  As she disappeared, Steph called over her shoulder. “I’m not looking back at you because if I do I won’t be able to leave.”

  She heard the front door close, and she fell back on the bed, squeezing Steph’s pillow to her chest. She had a hard time believing she was back in Riverview and an even harder time believing she had just spent the night with Stephanie Williams. Over the years, she had tried to imagine what Steph had done with her life. What career she had chosen? Was there a spouse? Or kids? Nothing her mind had created could even come close to reality. Steph was a beautiful woman, and she seemed to be everything Jemini had looked for in a partner. She knew that probably wasn’t completely true, but she needed to find out and the best way to do that was to move to Riverview. She could still sign everything Dorothy left her over to Steph, but doing that didn’t mean she had to return to Chattanooga.

  She climbed out of bed and located a set of clean sheets in the closet. After making the bed, she showered, stealing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt from Steph’s closet. She piled the dirty sheets beside the washer. This afternoon she would bring back Steph’s clothes and wash everything before Steph returned from work.

  She drove straight to the real estate office and advised Richard to take Dorothy’s house off the market. She listened politely to his begging about selling to the developer and then told him no. She stopped at Gerald Cross’s office and asked his secretary to have him draw up papers transferring the property from her name to Steph’s.

  Back at Lake View, Jemini packed her clothes and checked out of her cabin.

  “Are you leaving?” Kathleen asked when she walked into the office and found Cassie handing her a receipt for her stay.

  “Do you have time for a walk?” she asked Kathleen.

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll see you later, Cassie. Thanks for everything.” Jemini folded the paperwork and placed it inside her car.

  Kathleen looked over her shoulder at the packed bags on the backseat of the car. “You are leaving? Did something happen?”

  She grinned. “Yes, something happened. Something good.” She walked toward the lake, waiting for Kathleen to fall into step beside her before continuing. “Steph and I have worked things out.”

  “That’s good, right? Then why are you leaving?”

  “Yes, it’s very good. She had to work for a couple of hours, so I thought I would pack my stuff so I didn’t have to wear her clothes again tomorrow.”

  Kathleen’s eyes widened. “That’s wonderful.”

  “I’m never going to leave,” she said excitedly. “Well, that’s not completely true. I have to return to Chattanooga for work and to sell my condo, but other than that I’m going to be here.”

  “I’m so happy.” Kathleen hugged her, looking up at the house as they made a full circle. “I’d love to stay and chat, but Cassie and I have an appointment with Chase’s teacher. Come to dinner tomorrow. You and Steph.”

  She nodded. “I’ll check with Steph.”

  Kathleen hugged her again. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

  Jemini pulled her phone from her pocket and sat down on a shady bench. She had almost forgotten it was a workday. Monday mornings were always crazy at her office. She dialed in to her voice mail and was surprised to hear she had twelve messages. She walked to her car and pulled a notepad from her briefcase. Sitting in the car, she listened to each message, taking notes, her distress growing with each voice mail. Mentally preparing herself for the drive back to Chattanooga, she deleted the last voice mail and took a deep breath before placing her next call.

  She dialed Steph and was disappointed when her call went straight to voice mail. She left a short message asking her to call her when she could. She didn’t want to tell her she had to leave town on a voice mail. She knew she wouldn’t take well the news that she was leaving. By the time she called back, however, Jemini would know more details and could tell her exactly when she would be returning.

  She looked around for Kathleen or Cassie so she could reschedule tomorrow night’s dinner, then remembered they had left for an appointment. Dialing Karen on the car’s Bluetooth system, she pulled on the highway and headed for Tennessee.

  Karen began explaining as soon as she answered. “Mr. Thompson had requested the partner meeting, but all that changed when they rushed him to the hospital last night.”

  “Then I’ll go straight to the hospital,” Jemini answered, still reeling from the news that her law partner had had a heart attack. Karen’s first message had asked her to return for a meeting with her two fellow law office partners. The messages had progressed from bad to worse as Ken Thompson was rushed to the hospital and then to surgery.

  “Can you go straight to the courthouse instead? I’ll have Sarah meet you there with Ken’s files. There’s no one else to cover the hearing at three.”

  “Sure. Tell Sarah I’ll meet her at two thirty at Duggan’s. Oh, and have her bring a suit from my office.” She needed coffee now, but she didn’t want to take the time to stop. She’d have to wait until she met Sarah at the coffee shop. Her phone beeped again, and she looked at the readout. “Karen, I need to hang up and charge my phone. It’s about to die.”

  “Okay. Call if anything changes. Otherwise, Sarah will see you at Duggan’s.”

  With one hand, she searched her briefcase for her phone charger. Not finding it, she pulled to the side of road and dumped her briefcase on the seat beside her. The last time she remembered seeing it was Saturday night when she charged her phone. Was it in her bag? She opened the rear door and dumped out the bag’s contents. No charger. She hurriedly shoved everything back into her bag, knowing she had to call Steph with the remaining charge left on her phone.

  She climbed into the front seat and pulled back onto the highway, dialing Steph with one hand.

  “Steph, I’m so sorry. I had to leave for an emergency, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. My cell battery is dying and I can’t find my charger, but I’ll call you. I promise. I’ll miss you.” She spoke as rapidly as she could, but when she looked at the readout there was no display. She prayed Steph would receive her message.

  * * *

  Steph hadn’t planned to spend the day in the courthouse, but she had been pulled in to recount her actions leading to Ripkin’s arrest. His attorney was trying to get all the charges thrown out, claiming entrapment. Luckily the judge didn’t seem to
be buying his story. Steph listened to both of Jemini’s voice mails again, trying to read any hidden message in her voice. She had sounded strained in the first message, but it was the second one that made Steph’s heart hurt. No explanation and no good-bye. Just, “Steph, I’m so sorry. I had to leave.”

  She had felt the vibration of the calls, but she couldn’t leave the judge’s chambers until he called a break. It had been almost an hour since Jemini’s last message, but she immediately dialed her number. She told herself not to worry when it rolled straight to voice mail. She left Jemini an apology that she missed her and asked her to call back when she could. She looked up from her phone when another deputy stepped into the hall and told her the judge was ready. She took a deep breath, sliding her phone back into her pocket, and followed the deputy back into the judge’s chambers.

  * * *

  Jemini was pleased she was only a few minutes late for her meeting with Sarah. She took her suit and motioned Sarah to follow her to the bathroom inside Duggan’s. As she dressed, Sarah briefed her on the case and which motions she needed to present in today’s hearing. She passed her bag of clothes to Sarah in exchange for the court files, which she dropped into her briefcase. She took the cup of coffee Sarah handed her and began the short walk to the courthouse. Sarah stayed with her, continuing the flow of details pertaining to the case as they walked.

  She borrowed Sarah’s phone to call Steph, then realized Steph’s number was programmed into her phone and she didn’t know it by heart. Calling Karen, she asked her to contact Lake View Resort to leave a message for Kathleen that she wouldn’t be able to make dinner tomorrow night. As an afterthought, she added that she was fine and would call them soon. She knew she could count on Kathleen to tell Steph that she was okay.

  As they entered the courthouse, Jemini returned Sarah’s phone and focused on the case in front of her. Ken’s clients deserved the best she could offer.

  * * *

  Steph was exhausted when they finally finished in the judge’s chambers. Ripkin’s attorney had pushed the judge too far and in response he approved everything the sheriff’s department had asked for. Search warrants had been issued and coordination was made with law enforcement agencies in Pensacola to initiate them. Ripkin’s home and office were about to be ripped apart and some of his friends’ homes as well. Steph’s colleagues had found evidence of a theft ring that all led back to Ripkin. He would remain in their custody for now, but additional charges were pending.