Creature of the Night

by Anne Stinnett

  “This is getting boring,” Penny said.

  “It is possible to turn it off,” her daughter informed her.

  “Nah, it’ll get better soon. That stupid girl is trying to stand on her head or something. They should show some blood, that’s all.”

  “I’m sure they will.” Allyson snuck a peek at the screen in spite of herself. “She’s doing yoga, mother.”

  “Yoga?” Penny sneered. “Who does yoga?”

  “Millions of people,” Allyson said. “Maybe billions. I do it myself.”

  “Why do you do that?”

  Allyson sighed. “It’s good exercise. And it helps relieve all those little stresses caused by life.” And mothers. Allyson watched Emily bend and stretch on the TV and for a moment breathed along with her. Then they switched to someone else, and she turned her focus back to her work and tried to block out her parent.

  Emily rolled to her feet. Half an hour of bending and breathing and she felt no more relaxed than she had before she began. At least she had managed to alleviate some of the soreness in her muscles.

  Although she had trained for this, she hadn’t fully anticipated the beating her body would be taking. Somehow, the aches made her feel accomplished. She’d never been a fan of gratuitous physical activity, but it felt good to lose herself in the flex and stretch of her muscles.

  Maybe she’d do more after. If she had an after. Although by then, it would be so easy she’d be cheating.

  …Let _ _ _ _ Sort Them Out.

  elcome back and good evening,” Chaz said. “Here we are again. We’ve learned quite a bit about our contestants during our time together, and coming up next, we’ll learn a little more from some Friends and Family. We’re going to hear from a friend of Madeline’s. Have you all been keeping up with Madeline? Interesting stuff. After that, we’ll see Ollie’s dad. Take a look at Jessa.”

  Jessa was exactly what one would come up with if trying to conjure a mental picture of a friend of Madeline’s, assuming one had only seen Madeline on Creature of the Night. In fact, a costumer with a sense of humor had seen the two together at some point and imitated Jessa’s look when putting together Madeline’s wardrobe for the first show. Jessa gave the camera an awkward wave. “Hi, Madeline. I hope, by the time you see this, you’re totally kicking ass. I want everyone to know I’m proud of this girl. We auditioned for the show together, but they picked Madeline. I guess she just looks like she’s more into vampires. But for the record, there are lots of people who wear normal clothes and want to be undead. I’m just saying. I mean, Madeline is special. Just so, so special. And she’s been my best friend since we were, like, seven. I’m just really glad I can focus on supporting her, instead of being disappointed I wasn’t chosen or feeling like it wasn’t fair. Because there’s no point in negativity. And I totally think Madeline that, even if you don’t win, you’ll totally make it out of there alive.”

  “Always great to get a positive message from home,” Chaz said. “Let’s see if Ollie’s dad can top Jessa’s astounding message of support.”

  The screens had been taken over by an attractively weathered man in a blue chambray shirt. He looked like he spent his life outdoors. “Hi, son,” he said. “You know I wish you weren’t where you are, but I hope you know how proud of you I am. I know you’re not a farmer, and you never were going to be one. Going after something new is never easy; don’t think I don’t know the strength it took for you to get there. Good luck, Ollie, and know if your mother were still with us, she’d be just as proud as I am. I hope I get to see you again.” Ollie’s father waved his hand at the camera but not before the audience saw a tear roll out of his eye.

  Ollie, too, started to cry.

  “I thought the mother was alive,” Nodin said. “I remember the farm boy greeting both his parents.”

  “Maybe she was alive then but is dead now,” Delia said.

  “Do we care?” Edmund snapped. No one bothered with an answer. Edmund hoped the death of Ollie’s mother had been unrelated to the show.

  “When we come back,” Chaz said, “we’ll be all set up for the next challenge. See you all soon!”

  “That’s exactly what I had in mind,” The Voice said.

  “Thank you, sir.” Little P flushed with pleasure. He thought he had been quite ingenious in his arrangements. “I appreciate you saying so.”

  “Well, you did a good job,” The Voice said. “You can never go wrong with a dead mother. Touching stuff.”

  Nodin set his book down and sighed. Eighty-six pages in, and so far How to be More Charismatic was a big disappointment.

  A more charismatic vampire would have flung the book at the wall, perhaps even through the wall. Such a being would never have ended up pinned beneath that mad vampire Vlad.

  Perhaps he should go back out there and tear the throat from some scantily clad Creature fan. Sex and death were what the producers were all about; albeit, the sex wasn’t officially condoned.

  Nodin tried to imagine behaving like Vlad and shuddered. He longed for the days when one could have a quiet meal in a dark alley without feeling pressure to make it look sexy for the benefit of bystanders. Just the other night, someone had approached him and asked if he sparkled. Truly, it was exhausting.

  That the others seemed to thrive on the adoration didn’t make Nodin feel any better about what he was beginning to suspect were permanent inadequacies on his part.

  “Did you miss us?” Chaz shouted. The crowd screamed affirmation. “Of course you did, because we’re amazing. But we’re back and ready for the next challenge.”

  The stage had been transformed into an old gothic graveyard. Sod had been laid across the entire stage, half a football field’s worth. Littering the grass were coffins, tombstones, and chipped stone angels.

  Dominating the center of the stage was a mausoleum. Most of the tombstones surrounding it were old and reeked of the grave dirt from which they had been recently plucked. Many of them were chipped or cracked, but ten of them were new, created for this night. The lights had been changed, set at odd angles to cast shadows while still making it possible for those watching to catch most of the action. Cameras lurked, their electronic eyes waiting to catch whatever the naked ones could not.

  Only the bodies were missing.

  “Let’s bring the contestants out,” Chaz said.

  Donovan, Emily, Lola, and Brett made their way to Chaz’s side shepherded by Rylie and Kylie.

  “Give your final four a big round of applause,” Chaz said. The crowd roared.

  “Bury them! Bury them! Bury them!” The crowd punctuated their chant with fists thrust into the air.

  Sick fucks, Donovan thought. Of course, sickness was to be expected from a bunch of losers who lost their shit over a bunch of dead creeps.

  “We’re not burying them again,” Chaz said. “Be quiet now.” The crowd refused to settle until Edmund reinforced Chaz’s instruction with a flash of fangs.

  “Hidden in our beautifully constructed graveyard are various weapons,” Chaz said. “Two of the remaining contestants will move forward from this challenge and will be turned, made like us.”

  Brett felt something inside him jump at the news. He could be turned and gifted with a mate. And a vampire girl would probably be cooler about stuff like orgies than human girls.

  “Not so like us,” Edmund said. The crowd ignored Edmund and went berserk at the news that two would be turned. Chaz held up a hand, and eventually the crowd responded.

  “Many will die today,” Vlad said.

  “Die! Die! Die!” The crowd chanted.

  “As Vlad has pointed out, this is a fatal challenge.”

  Edmund preempted the crowd. “Do not chant.”

  “Does that count as speaking to humans?” Delia wondered.

  “Only two will come out of this challenge alive,” Chaz said, “and we have a special surprise. Since we are woefully low on contestants, the eliminated will be brought back to participate in this challenge.
They too will have one last chance to grasp immortality. Because we at Creature of the Night are either victorious or we are dead, except when we are both.”

  In spite of the silence, the glee of the crowd was palpable. This was what they had come for.

  “Let’s get the others out here,” Chaz said. The eight eliminated contestants made their way onto the stage. The crowd jeered. Donovan, Brett, Emily, and Lola seethed with various degrees of resentment.

  Attuned as he was to the emotions of the humans around him, Chaz said, “Life is not fair nor is death. We see no reason to hold ourselves to a higher standard.”

  “That’s so not fair,” Dylan said. Joey the cocker spaniel whuuffed in agreement.

  “He just said it’s not fair; that’s the point.” Bekka loved her brother, but sometimes, he was such a moron.

  Dylan flipped his sister a middle finger, following up with a glance over his shoulder to make sure their mother hadn’t noticed. Bekka was a pain in his ass. “I don’t get it.”

  “You’re such an idiot,” Bekka said. “Hey, are those the contestant’s names on the tombstones?”

  “Quiet,” Dylan told her, irked he hadn’t noticed. “They’re starting.”

  “Any contestant who attempts to exit the stage before we call a halt to this challenge will be given to Vlad,” Chaz said. “When only two contestants remain, this challenge will be considered complete.”

  Jesus, Cyri thought.

  Rylie and Kylie herded the contestants into a line. Kannon fidgeted with his eye patch, and Cassie shifted her weight on her crutches. Eye contact was avoided. At this moment, every kind word the contestants had ever exchanged became a Monday morning liability.

  “Before we begin the challenge, we have a special batch of confessionals to show you. As you know, confessionals broadcast live, but we were concerned there might be a lack of candor if the contestants were forced to confess in front one another. So, these we filmed about fifteen minutes ago when the contestants found out they were all participating in the final challenge. Emotions were high as we recorded.”

  “Human emotions always run high,” Edmund said.

  “Take a look at the screens,” Chaz instructed. Stewart’s face was first to flash across the screens. Along with the eleven other contestants and fifty million viewers, Stewart watched as he said his last words.

  Stewart:

  “I hoped I was done. I want this to be over, but that would be too good to be true. I want to say I’m shocked, but I don’t think it would be exactly true. I’m still reeling from the last challenge, even though I wasn’t a big part of it. I think I gave up on winning this thing a long time ago, but now that’s changed. All I want is to go home and see my kids, and they’ve set it up so the only way for me to do that is to go through everyone else. I thought I wanted to win at the beginning of this competition, but that feeling was nothing compared to where I’m at now. It’s the difference between wanting to win at Monopoly and wanting to escape a burning building. They’ve taken the simple luxury of caring about others away from us. By the end of this, dead or alive, we will all be monsters. So, Marcy, if I do make it thought this, you would be wise to stop trying to turn my children against me.”

  “He is an uncomfortable combination of despair and rage,” Nodin said. “And he may not be the only one.”

  “The more unstable they are, the higher the ratings,” Delia said. “There is no reason to worry.”

  “We cannot have the winner rampage every season,” Nodin said.

  “I do not think it will come to that,” Delia told him. “I have hope.”

  “Based on what?” Edmund filled his mental tone with the scowl he wore.

  “I remember the massacre,” Vlad said. “It was a good day.”

  Cassie:

  “I’m excited, of course, to have another chance. At the same time, because I’m not stupid, I know it’s a slim chance. I’m still on crutches. They say everyone roots for the underdog. I don’t know if it’s true, but I know wishes don’t make horses. And suddenly, I’m channeling my grandmother. She would have talked me out of this if she were still alive. But you never know. Right? It’s not like I’m going to be the one to beat out there. Maybe I can slip under the radar. Whatever happens we’re almost to the end of this. I’m not scared. I don’t know if that’s good or not because this seems like a situation in which any rational person would be terrified. But mostly, I feel peaceful. And I am ready to unleash my inner badass.”

  “She’s cute,” Delia said. “It’s almost a shame.”

  “That she has no ‘inner badass’?” Nodin said.

  “A vampire ballerina would be a fantastic thing,” Delia said.

  “Yes,” Nodin agreed.

  “If we were interested in promoting the arts, there are several contestants we would have done well to avoid.”

  “Thank you, Edmund,” Delia said. “Without you, we would have had no idea of their flaws. We need diversity. Humans like to root for people who they think are like them.”

  “Perhaps you will explain the inner workings of larvae next,” Edmund suggested.

  “Perhaps I will tear your head from your body while I do so,” Delia answered.

  Brett:

  “I don’t get it. This is supposed to be a competition about who is the best, about who deserves to be a vampire, a goddamn Creature of the Night. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there’s a great fucking reason for letting the people who’ve been eliminated come back and compete, but I don’t fucking get it. I mean, this is unfair as fuck, isn’t it? Not that I’m saying they’re wrong. They’re vampires, and who am I to question them, but it seems a little arbitrary. It’s like you climb a mountain, and there’s another mountain on top of it. Shitty. I just need to understand.

  “I need to win. That’s all. I’m still the guy who believed, the guy who was right all along. They could add a million other contestants, and none of them would have anything on me. I’m focused. I’m motherfucking focused, and I’m going to go out there and do whatever. If there’s a fucking flamethrower, this time the bitch is mine.”

  “But there is no flamethrower,” Vlad said.

  “No matter,” Edmund said. “It would sit untouched. He exaggerates his audacity.”

  Portia:

  “I couldn’t kill the kid, but I’m pretty sure I can kill these assholes. I have to if I don’t want these assholes to kill me. What the fuck was I thinking? Babe, I’m sorry. I should have been happier, I shouldn’t have ever been jealous of you. Miss me if you don’t see me again, okay? And don’t you ever hook up with that little bitch Marilyn. I don’t care how long I’ve been dead. Oh, my god. I just realized something. This is like the highest rated show ever. I’ll be in the In Memoriam presentation at the Emmy’s. Or I’ll be a vampire. I’m still freaking out, but that was the best realization I’ve had in years. The best thing would be if they played a clip of me from right now talking about being in the In Memoriam clip. I need to say something deep. Hmmm. Fuck it! I’m going to be on the Emmy’s! Suck on that, Charles!”

  “Actors,” Nodin said. “They are a most interesting breed.”

  “It is nice to see her so happy,” Delia said. “I enjoyed her film.”

  “Does she speak of Marilyn Monroe?” Vlad asked.

  Donovan:

  “Fuck these pussies. I beat them once, and I’ll do it again. If I have to kill every one of these loser shitheads, I will. And I guess I do. There’s no way I’m losing ground now. I want to shout out to my co-contestants. Emily, you bitch, I’m going to rip you apart with my bare hands. And Brett, you’ve always fucking annoyed me, you puny fuck. Can’t wait to kill you, you creepy vampire loving freak. Cassie, you’re so pathetic I can’t even bring myself to comment on you. Who else do I hate? Kannon, you rich, one-eyed fuck, money won’t buy you immortality. Ollie, stop being so fucking earnest; it’s disgusting. Be a fucking man. Lola, you’re fucking welcome for last night, but I will kill you without thinking twi
ce.”

  “I do not believe anyone would mind if I ate that one,” Vlad said.

  “I do not believe you are mistaken,” Nodin said.

  “Please do not take that as permission,” Delia told Vlad. She shot a look of admonishment Nodin’s way. “We are close to the end. This isn’t the time to start eating the contestants.”

  “It is never a good time,” Vlad grumped.

  “I have a virgin in my dressing room,” Delia said. “If you don’t eat anyone without permission, I’ll share.”

  Lola:

  “This is bullshit. I cannot believe they are fucking us like this. What was the point of all the other challenges if they were just going to throw us into a pit so we could be all Thunderdome about it? But I don’t give a fuck. That shit with the kid was stupid. This is what life is about. Kill or be killed. A real fight. Take what you want. And if there’s anyone who thinks I’m going to let any of these shitheads deprive me of what I want, then you have no idea who I am. But I’m going to show you. I’m as ready as I’ve ever been, and I will never hesitate again. I feel good today. Relaxed. Luckily, I’m an expert at polishing my own pearl. By the way, you guys are welcome for the sex scene. Too bad Donovan is shit in bed. Sorry, D, but it’s called confessional for a reason.”

  “I feel like Lola had an unfortunate childhood,” Delia said.

  “How many times must I beg you to stop reading human psychology?” Edmund said. “She’s not a particularly damaged human; she is a particularly average one.”

  “‘Particularly average’ sounds redundant,” Nodin said.

  Jeff:

  “Here we are again. Now that it’s happened, it seems obvious they planned to throw us back into the mix at some point. I’m glad I didn’t realize this was coming. I know these people. I have no desire to kill any of them, but oh, how quickly scruples fly out the window when it truly is them or you. Stewart was right about us being monsters. I keep imagining the things I might do when I go out there, and I realize I already am one. I’m just missing the immortality. This seems like time I should spend listing regrets or beating my chest, but all I have to say is I want to get started. The whole thing seemed like such a waste of effort when I got myself eliminated in the first round, but now I’m back, and I’ve had lots of time to watch the others. When I said I know these people, that’s what I meant. Not that we share bonds, or I know their pain, or even what makes them tick. I know how they behave.”