Depths Of Desire

by Ruth D. Kerce

  She’d ripped off her body bandages about an hour ago, having healed as much as she probably would. She was scarred from the explosion she’d been in. Probably always would be. Even a Xylon’s ability to self-heal had its limitations in severe cases. She shook away the thought. The loss of her beauty was the least of her worries.

  She stared at the bandages on the ground. She’d already tried torching the strips and they’d smoked, but nothing more. The material wasn’t flammable. Her luck was shitty at best lately.

  A sudden wave of depression hit her, knowing her family and friends were most likely dead. She sniffled but then straightened her spine. No. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on that. She’d been spared. Others must have survived too. Maybe even some of her loved ones.

  She needed to try to find her way out or at least find somewhere safe, if the air up top still wasn’t breathable. Somewhere far away from the Def’mal and more isolated. They hadn’t hurt her. They’d even tried to help. But she couldn’t afford to trust them, even if they did reappear. Not given what she’d been taught about them.

  The fact that she’d been kept away from all but a few made her think that she would not be well-received by their society in general, if more of them were indeed down here. The unfriendly female who’d attended her for a short while after the men disappeared had convinced her of that.

  Relatively healed, she felt strong enough to explore the caverns beyond her immediate area. She’d need to be extra cautious. If she came across any guards, she didn’t have a weapon. Being a security officer, she was trained in hand-to-hand combat but the Def’mal were larger opponents than she was used to battling. And she still wasn’t at full strength. Regardless, she had to try.

  She stuck to one wall, walking along the side, so she could find her way back if necessary. She didn’t take the torch, deciding it would make her too vulnerable by announcing her presence. A small bit of light appeared occasionally as she walked but she couldn’t identify its source. A crunching sound alerted her to someone stealthily approaching. She stopped abruptly. Someone in heavy boots. She picked up a good-sized rock and flattened herself against the stone wall. Her heart thudded heavily as she waited. Whoever it was, they were headed right for her.

  A man stepped out of the shadows and passed her. Too dark to make out details, she could only tell that he was tall and broad. When he stopped and glanced behind him, she feared he knew she was there. She lunged forward and smashed the rock into the side of his head. She didn’t want to kill him, just incapacitate him so she could get away without him following.

  He grunted and fell to his knees. As she took a step to run, something on the man’s jacket glowed slightly and caught her eye. An ID jewel? She gasped, stopping in her tracks. She dropped to her knees beside him. “I can’t believe it.” She reached out. “Are you all right? What are you doing here, Pitch?” Pitch Pantera was a Class 2 Xylon Warrior and a good friend to her entire family.

  “Tara?” he groaned and turned his head her way. “Am I hallucinating?” He pulled out a light stick and illuminated the area.

  She squinted, not used to the glare. “No, it’s me.”

  “Damn. I can’t believe you’re alive. How’d you survive the attack?” He rubbed the side of his head. “What the hell did you hit me with?”

  “A rock. Sorry.”

  He looked her up and down. “What are you dressed in? Where are we?”

  She shouldn’t have hit him so hard. He didn’t even know where he was. “We’re in the Def’mal caverns.”

  “We’re on Xylon?”

  “Of course. Where did you think you were? One of the clan pulled me from the Lair after the explosion. I was about out of air. He saved me and gave me these animal skins to wear.”

  “Like some cave slave?”

  “Would you rather I be naked?” When his lips twitched, she added, “Forget I asked that. Let me see your head.”

  He moved from his knees into a sitting position, while she examined his wound. He glanced around. “Where are they?”

  “The Def’mal? I don’t know. Gone.”

  He lightly touched her arm. “You’ve been burned.”

  She pulled away slightly as she continued to look at his head. She didn’t want his sympathy or his pity. And she saw both in his eyes. “I’m fine. Now are you going to answer me? How did you get down here?”

  “I don’t know how we got here. We were in one of the underground shelters and the Egesa found a way in. We were supposed to materialize out to the repair station.”

  “We? Who else survived the attack?” Hope for her family surged inside her and she lost focus for a moment.

  “Ow.” He pulled away when she touched a sensitive spot.

  “Sorry. It’s already starting to heal. You’ll be as good as new in no time.” He struggled to stand and she helped him up. When he still didn’t answer her last question, frustration began to build inside her. “Pitch, if you don’t start giving me some details, I’m going to punch you. Who’s here with you? Who survived?”

  “Sorry. I’m still a bit disoriented. I’m here with—”

  “Me.”

  Tara turned to see a woman step out of the shadows. Josella. She was Halah Shirota’s half sister from Sunevia. Tara had hoped for a family member, or at least another warrior, and felt a surge of anger, frustration and ultimately disappointment until she squelched the negative emotions.

  “I told you to stay put,” Pitch said in a tight voice.

  “I know, but I thought you might need some help so I followed you. What happened to your head? You’re bleeding.” She rushed to his side.

  He waved her away. “Nothing. It’s just a minor wound. Now we need to get back. Are there any supplies around here, Tara? Anything useful?” He gaze darted back and forth, searching the area. “Where are the Def’mal?”

  She’d really scrambled his brains with that hit. He’d already asked about the Def’mal. “No supplies,” she answered, deciding to let it go. He needed a brain scan and rest, neither of which were possible at the moment. “The Def’mal disappeared a few days ago. Or so it seems. Time passage down here has been hard to gauge.” She tapped her ear. “My translator is out of whack. I can’t understand anyone who’s not Xylon and the Def’mal couldn’t understand me. Not fully anyway. There was some commonality in our words, but not enough.”

  “What’s she saying?” Josella asked.

  “Her translator’s damaged.” Pitch grabbed a small case from inside his jacket and opened it up. He slid out a long, slim tube about the size of a finger. The tip of the object glowed first red, then green as he held it up to her ear. It buzzed, barely audible, then shut off. He nodded. “That should do it.”

  “Can you understand me now?” Josella asked.

  “Yes, perfectly. You?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good,” Pitch said. “Let’s head back to where we’re camped and put together some sort of plan. We’ll tell you all the details of what happened to us. And you can fill us in on what happened to you.”

  Tara nodded, more than happy to comply.

  * * * * *

  Ice Moon, Xylon System

  Braden trotted back toward his quarters. He’d just gotten word that Erik and the squadron had returned. He’d never been so eager to see anyone in his life. His heart was beating hard and his stomach felt like a vibber avian had taken up residence inside.

  He entered his quarters and the door auto-shut behind him with a whoosh. Erik turned from the panel of data screens. Braden eagerly scanned the other side of the room. “Where’s Alexa?”

  She and the babies had probably been taken to medical for evaluation. The triplets would need extra special care after all they’d been through. Still, he needed to see them and hold his mate in his arms. He hesitated as something in Erik’s eyes cut through him. He saw the man visibly swallow several times as if trying to find his voice. He stepped toward Erik but stopped in mid-stride when his friend spoke.


  “Braden…”

  Panic rose up inside him and his whole body shook as trepidation filled him. “Where is Alexa, Erik? Where are my children?”

  “The station couldn’t hold orbit.” Erik’s voice hitched. “We thought there was time. We materialized over and searched. The orbit started to decay. I had to send the men back. I stayed and continued looking. I don’t know why none of them were at the pre-agreed coordinates.”

  Braden shook his head. No, no, no.

  “We didn’t get them, Braden,” Erik said in a whisper. He reached out. “I tried—”

  “No!” Braden closed the distance between them and swung at Erik with a wild punch. He felt as if his heart had just been shredded and his brain had shattered.

  Erik blocked the punch and twisted Braden’s arm behind him.

  As if his life force had been torn from his body, Braden suddenly had no strength and he collapsed in Erik’s arms. When he stumbled against his friend, Erik fell to his knees and Braden went down with him. This wasn’t possible. Sobs ripped through him. White noise roared in his ears and all he heard was Erik repeating, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” in a barely there whisper.

  At that moment, everything in his life stopped. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. He wasn’t sure how much time passed before he was even able to breathe again. It seemed as if he’d been enveloped by a cold, black fog. His love, his family. His whole reason for existing. They couldn’t be gone!

  Seeing the pain in Erik’s eyes convinced him that it was true. He didn’t want to go on. He couldn’t. Not without Alexa. He felt completely empty inside. He should have been there with them. Died with them. He wondered if she had known what was coming, if she’d been scared and thinking about him, waiting for him to rescue her and the babies. The thought ripped what was left of his sanity to shreds.

  “Does Kam know?” he asked in a broken voice as he wiped his face and slid back on the tile floor a few inches, giving himself some distance. Kam loved his sister. The man would be crushed. And Laszlo would certainly mourn the loss of his only daughter. For himself, he couldn’t even process the news. It was as if he were watching the whole thing from a distance.

  Erik took a visible breath and released it before speaking. “I saw Kam on my way here. Cold-hearted bastard barely flinched when I told him. He said he’d inform Laszlo.” Erik’s next words caught. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I did everything that I could, Braden. I—”

  “I know,” was the only response Braden could muster. He thought of his daughters and his son. He’d never know them, never see them mature. He searched for Alexa with his mind, through their branded connection. Hoping… But the connection remained silent—a vast and lonely black hole in his mind and in his soul.

  He pushed himself to his feet. His body trembled and he had to fight to keep from stumbling. His chest hurt from the pain, as if it were a physical monster squeezing the life out of him. He steeled his emotions and headed for the door. He knew what he had to do. It was the only thing keeping him from joining the love of his life and his babies in the afterworld.

  “Where are you going, Braden?”

  He turned and looked at his friend. He couldn’t say the words. He didn’t trust himself not to break down again and he couldn’t afford that weakness. He had to turn off his emotions completely. That’s the only way he’d survive. And he needed to survive long enough to get to Daegal and make him pay.

  Erik stared into his eyes. After a moment, he nodded. “Don’t leave the Ice Moon without me.”

  Braden hand signaled his acknowledgment with the sign language utilized by upper-class warriors when absolute silence was essential during a mission or when a warrior was unable to speak. Then he turned and headed out to clear a ship and a flight plan. His family would be avenged.

  Erik sat on the floor for a long time after Braden left. He buried his face in his hands. Because he’d failed, they’d lost Pitch and Josella. They’d lost Alexa and the babies.

  When she and the triplets had materialized over to the station, it hadn’t registered on Braden’s vid-cell as programmed. Erik had never told his friend. Braden had counted on him to set up that programming correctly. Whether Alexa had been lost during materialization, or later aboard the station, he didn’t know. But he did know that he was to blame.

  A pain deeper than he’d ever felt enveloped him. In front of his men, he’d had to keep it together. Now, alone, he let his emotions flow and tears rolled down his cheeks. Forgive me, Alexa. I would have died to save you.

  He’d tried to stay on the station to keep searching, hoping she and the others were indeed there, though it had meant putting his own life in jeopardy. His second-in-command had materialized him back when the danger became imminent. Before he could counter the move and return, the station exploded. Everyone had been so stunned and devastated that nobody had spoken more than was necessary during their return trip to the Ice Moon. And nobody had dared to speak to him at all, for which he was grateful. He’d been right on the edge and ready to break.

  He pushed himself to his feet and wiped the moisture from his face. Braden was going to Earth to get revenge. He’d seen it in his friend’s eyes. He would be right beside him all the way.

  Because of Daegal and the Egesa, they’d lost their planet, most of their cherished people and their whole way of life. They couldn’t change what had happened, but they could make those responsible suffer and prevent even more loss in the future.

  His thoughts went to his own mate, so far away and heading into danger herself. “I wish you were here, Leila. I really need to hold you in my arms right now.”

  * * * * *

  Underground, Planet Xylon

  Tara followed Pitch and Josella deep into the caverns. A person could easily get lost within all these passages. Pitch must be using a navigational plate to find his way. All upgraded Xylon uniforms had them. They stopped in front of a wall. No, wait. There was a low entrance barely visible.

  He tapped the wall three times then turned toward her. “Since we didn’t know where we were or what might be down here, we found a place to hide. It’s deep and has water. We have a small amount of food that we brought with us. It’s not much.”

  She ducked, following their lead and trailed them inside. As they got deeper, she was able to stand upright and began to see light. They’d been more successful in finding materials to burn than she’d been. As she got closer, she saw that hadn’t been the case and they were using the same type of light sticks that Pitch had pulled out earlier—standard issue in Xylon survival packs. They’d come prepared.

  Their packs of supplies sat against one wall. Three? They’d brought an extra? It looked makeshift. Not an official issue and not standard procedure. She felt air and glanced up. A few small holes could be seen above. Because of the distinct pattern, it must be some sort of venting, but it couldn’t run outside otherwise they wouldn’t still be alive. Interesting.

  “Tara?”

  She squinted her eyes to see a person in the distance who was now approaching out of the shadows. Her heart thudded in her chest. “Alexa?”

  The two women rushed forward and hugged each other. Tara pulled back and looked down. “You’ve had the babies!” As soon as she said it, her heart clenched and she regretted the words for she had no idea what had happened to Alexa since she’d last seen her. What if…

  “Yes. They’re fine, beautiful and healthy. They’re here with us.” Alexa’s smile lit her face.

  Tara sighed in relief at their survival. But her relief was short-lived. If they’d materialized to the repair station like Pitch had mentioned, they’d have been safe. Here, they all were in grave danger.

  “What are you doing here, Tara, and where are we?” Alexa touched her cheek. “You’ve been hurt.”

  Tara sniffled slightly, unable to stop the emotions that slammed into her. A tear rolled down her face. She inwardly cursed and brushed it away. She couldn’t help but ask, “Is it bad?
”

  After a moment, Alexa said, “You’re still beautiful. Don’t give it a thought.”

  Alexa was being too kind, she was certain.

  Pitch cleared his throat. “We’re still on Xylon, according to Tara. In the Def’mal caverns. I don’t know what happened or how we got here.”

  “I think I might know,” Josella said, capturing everyone’s attention. “I saw Laszlo fiddling with the transport units. Well, not Alexa’s. Ours. But I suppose he must have adjusted hers too. He said that he was just checking on the settings or something like that. I don’t remember exactly. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I should have said something.”

  So Laszlo had survived. Tara was relieved at the news. Their people, those who remained, needed their leader. His mere presence would inspire confidence and help them to build the strength needed—emotionally and physically—for their future survival.

  Pitch hung his head and mumbled something under his breath. He looked back up and slid his arm across Josella’s shoulders. “You had no idea and no reason not to trust his word.”

  “Are the trans-conn units still functional?” Tara asked.

  Pitch shook his head. “No. They’ve powered down.”

  “Why would Laszlo send us down here instead of to the station?” Alexa asked.

  “I don’t know,” Pitch answered. “But I guess we’re safe for now and that’s what matters.”

  Safe. Tara knew that assessment was wrong but she didn’t voice her opinion. Nothing could be done to turn back the clock and change their circumstances. “What happened to Torque and Braden and Brianna?” she asked. “Is my family safe?”

  Pitch nodded. “Hopefully, yes. Braden, Erik, Laszlo and Kam headed to the Ice Moon to reorganize the warriors. Brianna, Torque, Briggs, Halah and Leila headed to Earth.”

  “Earth? Why Earth?” Nothing was making a lot of sense to Tara right now and she was sure her confusion showed, even before she’d spoken. Still, she was thrilled to hear that her family and friends had survived. “Why didn’t everyone go to the Ice Moon? If it’s still operational, that’s the safest place.” She wondered if it had something to do with Briggs. She knew some details of the project he was involved in, but not everything. They’d had the earthling secured in the Lair’s initiation chambers before the attack. A lot obviously happened afterward that she didn’t know about.