Buff could admit that he was doing this as much for Nadia as for himself.
Quickly he typed out a response. A brutally honest response because that’s what Nadia deserved.
Are you some kind of mind reader? I was standing out the front of the building getting ready to skip the appointment. Your message was timely. I’ll text you after. Buff xx
He hit send and pocketed the phone. It vibrated again, and he didn’t need to look at it know that Nadia had responded. He would check the message when he got out.
Rolling his shoulders and shaking out his arms a couple of times he strode into the building toward the bank of elevators. The ride up to the floor was quick and he was glad he was the only one in the elevator. He used that time to get his head in the right space it needed to be for the journey he was about to embark on. He was surprised he hadn’t succumbed to another attack, he was stressed about the appointment and sometimes stress caused his attacks.
What he hoped to achieve was to find out what his major triggers were and some techniques to combat them. He figured medical situations were high on the list, but over the last few days the urge to flex his medical muscles again had increased. Working on the injured after the tornado had awoken his dormant medical instincts. But he had to fix himself first before he travelled down that path.
Buff paused when he reached the wooden door to the doctor’s office. This was it. The doubts that had bugged him out the front of the building had been tempered and he felt more in control. Nadia was right—he had this.
Fifteen minutes later, Buff wasn’t feeling so confident. His flight instinct was kicking in again as he sat in front of Dr. Richard Valero.
“So Mitchell, good to meet you. Glad you made the time to come and see me.”
“Not sure I am,” Buff responded quelling the desire to correct the doctor on the use of his given name. It had been a long time since anyone had called Mitchell, even his mom had finally gotten used to calling him Buff.
Dr. Valero chuckled. “Not the first time I’ve heard that. You’ve taken the first step in getting help and that’s a good thing.”
“Yeah.” Buff sighed and shifted in his seat. Dr. Valero’s scrutiny wasn’t anything sinister, but it made him feel like he was in front of his CO and was about to get a dressing down for something he’d done wrong.
“How about you tell me what you hope to get out of our sessions.” He consulted the papers in front of him. “From your Army records you voluntarily discharged a year ago and you had a couple of sessions with an Army psychologist but nothing since. Is that correct?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Relax, Mitchell, you’re a civilian now and I’m just a regular guy with a fancy degree which gives me a few extra letters after my name.”
Buff smiled and relaxed his shoulders a fraction. “In answer to what I want out of the sessions is an understanding of my PTSD attacks. I’ve been having them more and more recently and I don’t think it’s healthy for me to keep on ignoring them.”
“Acknowledging them and seeking help is the first step on the road to recovery. How about you describe to me what happens when you’re in an attack? Or tell me, if you know, the triggers that can cause you to have one.”
An hour later Buff walked out of the building and breathed deeply. The sunlight hit his back, warming his shirt. The office had been cold and he welcomed the heat of the day. The session had been difficult and he’d had a minor attack while talking to Dr. Valero. The other man had helped Buff out and they’d worked on how to combat the possible triggers. Buff had also made an appointment to see him again in a couple of days. Now that he’d started the process he wanted to get to a stage where everything was manageable and he could go back to doing what he most wanted to do in his life—be a doctor. He loved being a doctor. Loved being able to help someone when they were injured. Operate on them to give them back their life. During his talk with his therapist he’d acknowledged that it wouldn’t all be successful that there would be times of tragedy and he would have to cope with that.
Buff wasn’t about to march down the medical center where Nadia worked to demand he be given a chance to be surgeon there, he wasn’t that dumb. To be able to get to where he wanted to be in life, he’d need more than just one therapy session. But in time, and after many more visits to Dr. Valero, he hoped that he’d be able to get back to his purpose in life.
He couldn’t wait to tell Nadia what he’d learned and figured out in just one short session. The next chapter in his life was commencing and he wanted Nadia to feature on every page. She was becoming as important to him as breathing and he never thought he’d feel this way about a woman—ever.
Chapter 12
“Stop Cerise, that’s enough. I look like a glitter bomb exploded on me.” Nadia laughed and shook her head at the image gazing back at her. Her eyelids glittered and so did her cheeks. Although the glitter on her cheeks was very subtle, it was still a little too much for Nadia to cope with.
“Oh come on, glitter lipstick will finish the look.” Cerise cajoled and waved a tube of silver lipstick in her face.
“Umm that would be a hard no. I don’t want to look like something from a sci-fi movie for goodness sake. God, I’m going to scare Buff away the minute I open the door.”
Cerise laughed. “Okay no glitter lipstick, but you’re no fun.” She finished with a pout and rummaged around her make up bag to extract another lipstick. Nadia braced herself for what color Cerise was about to show her.
“What do you think of this?”
Nadia’s relief was palpable when her friend wave a pale pink color in front of her. “Much better. The chances of him running out now, are down to about thirty percent.”
“Girl, that man is not going to run away from you. You look sensational and I’ve only enhanced it all.” Cerise commented as she cleaned up her paraphernalia.
“I hope so,” Nadia murmured as a wave of butterflies took flight in her belly. She was about to head out to dinner with Buff. Work had been absolutely crazy for her, a doctor had suddenly left and so a few of them were pulling double shifts until a replacement could be sourced. Buff had also been busy at the ranch and his volunteer firefighter duties. All of that meant they hadn’t been able to see each other since their picnic on his parent’s property, almost a month ago. But they’d texted and talked on the phone every chance they got. Nadia cherished those phone calls. Especially the ones after he’d been to see his therapist. Buff had had three sessions over the past couple of weeks. In that short time she’d been able to tell they were helping him a lot. They hadn’t talked in too much detail about what was discussed in his sessions. It wasn’t her place to ask anyway. If anyone should understand doctor/patient confidentiality agreement it was her. But she’d let him know if he wanted to talk she was there to listen.
They’d talked about going on a dinner date for over a week once Nadia found out she would have the next couple of days off. She couldn’t wait to sleep in and lounge on the couch watching Hallmark movies. The time off would also give her a chance to catch up on her emails. She’d barely been able to keep up with the text messages from Buff and her family. Her mom was hounding her about applying for a job at Boston General, she’d heard through the grapevine that there was a residency position with the ER there. Nadia could recall seeing an email in her inbox about it, but she’d pushed it aside vowing to look at it when she had more than five minutes to breath. That was her excuse and she was sticking with it. The truth of the matter was she didn’t want to open it because she could be forced to make a decision she wasn’t ready to make.
“Okay. Now that we’ve got your make up sorted. What are you going wear?” Cerise tucked her make-up bag beneath her arm, her eyebrow rose in query.
“Umm I was thinking jeans and a shirt. I mean, I know we’re going into San Antonio, but Buff hasn’t told me where we’re eating.” Which she found a little annoying because she wanted to make sure she was dressed appropriately. He’d be
en no help when she’d asked him in a text, his response had been you’ll look beautiful no matter what you wear.
His text had thrilled her, but still, she didn’t want to be too casual.
“Nope, jeans and a shirt won’t work. I think you need to wear the dress you wore to the community event. You’ll fit right in if you wear that.”
“Hmm I don’t think so.” Nadia screwed up her nose at the suggestion. While she liked the dress she didn’t want to wear it to dinner. It was a little too country for her. Sure, she was beginning to love being in Texas, but she was still a New England girl through and through. She went over to her closet and gazed at the shirts and dresses hanging up. “I’ll figure something out. Now you need to go rest. You’ve been on your feet too long.”
Cerise waved off her concern. “I’m fine. The doctor gave me the all clear to go back to work next week. You can stop being my doctor at home and go back to being my roommate and friend.”
Nadia paused in her perusal of her clothes and glanced over her shoulder. “I haven’t been that bad have I?” Sure she’d been making sure her friend rested when she’d been home, but Nadia didn’t think she’d been hovering over her.
Cerise walked over and gave her a quick hug. “No, I’m just teasing you. I’m really grateful that you care though, Nads. I know you’ve been crazy busy with work, but you always made sure I was okay and I appreciate it more than I can say.”
Nadia turned around and gave her friend a hug. “I love you, Cerise. You’re my best friend and I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t have met you.”
“I love you too, Nads.” Cerise sniffed and Nadia looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly so she didn’t mess up her make-up. Cerise would never forgive her if she did. After a minute they both separated and grinned at each other.
“Get back to picking an outfit. I give you permission to go New England on Buff tonight. Knock him off his feet so he can’t resist you.”
Excitement flowed through her again. She was going to get an uninterrupted evening with her man. Buff told her he’d arranged for someone to cover him should his team get called out to an emergency.
Nadia went back to looking through her closet, flicking through the items until she came to a wraparound dress. It was perfect. Pulling it off the hanger she slipped of her robe and put it on. The neckline was low, but not obscenely. It hugged her breasts nipped in at her waist. The bright pink color complimented her hair. And instead of looking over the top and out of place, Cerise’s make-up job completed the whole look.
“I look pretty good if I do say so myself,” she murmured.
“Girl, if you don’t leave that man speechless, then I’m not a glitter lover. You look beautiful.”
Nadia looked over her shoulder to see Cerise had returned to her room and was standing in the doorway. “Thanks. And I have to admit, I only look this good because of the make-up.”
Cerise smiled big. “See I told you, glitter makes everything better.”
Nadia laughed, which quickly died when the doorbell rang. “Oh my God, he’s here.”
Cerise rolled her eyes. “Well duh, and right on time. I’d expect nothing less from the man. I’ll go let him in so you can make a grand entrance. I want to watch his face.”
Nadia nodded grateful that she had a couple more minutes to get her nerves under control. She had no idea why she was feeling like she was about to jump off a cliff. It’s not like she hadn’t spent time with Buff before. They’d talked so much over the last couple of weeks not to mention she’d already gone on a date with him before. But this seemed different. Tonight seemed like a turning point in their relationship. Picking up her purse, she checked the contents, she had everything she needed.
The low murmurs of voices drifted down the hallway from the living room. This was it. Giving herself one last glance in the mirror she smiled.
Damn, she did look hot.
The walk from her bedroom to the living room wasn’t long, but it may as well have been a mile. She paused in the doorway, Buff had his back to her so it gave her a moment to admire him. Tonight he was wearing a pair of dark grey pants, they hugged his ass just a nicely as his jeans. He wore a pale blue long sleeved shirt that stretched tightly across his broad shoulders.
As if sensing her behind him, he turned and, yep his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.
“You look very handsome tonight, Buff.” Her voice sounded strong, in total contrast to the way her insides were jumping all around like a Mexican Jumping Bean.
Cerise stepped out from behind him, thumbs in the air and mouthed I told you so. Nadia controlled the urge to laugh out loud.
“You’re beautiful,” Buff eventually blurted out, and she was surprised to see a slight pink hue bloom over his cheeks. The big tough volunteer firefighter blushed.
Score one for Nadia.
He took two steps toward her, then paused, canting his head to the side as he studied her features. “Is that glitter on your cheeks?”
Now it was her turn to blush. “Yeah, I promised Cerise that she could glitterfy me once she got out of hospital.”
“Well I have to say, I think it suits you.” He gently tapped a finger on her cheek. Her skin warmed and she wanted his hands all over her. Kissing her. She wanted to feel what it was like to be possessed by this man. She wanted everything he could give her. She wanted to make love to Buff tonight.
“See I told you, life is nothing if you don’t have glitter in it.” Cerise piped up and Nadia rolled her eyes again. Which caused Buff to laugh.
“I think that’s our cue to leave. Are you ready, Boston?” And he held out his hand to her.
“Definitely.” She slipped her hand into his outstretched one, he squeezed it lightly and her nerves disappeared.
She couldn’t wait to see if her wishes were going to come true tonight. She hoped they would.
Buff had no idea how they made it San Antonio safely. He couldn’t remember the drive. His eyes had been on the road, but his mind had been on the woman in the passenger seat. Her spicy scent enveloping the cab of his truck. It was different to the coconut scent he always associated with her. It was enticing and tempting and made him think of long nights where limbs were tangled up in sheets. His body over hers. The sighs she’d make as he thrust into her.
He shifted in his seat, trying to relieve the pressure of his erection against the zipper of his pants. He was glad he wasn’t wearing jeans otherwise he’d be in a bit of pain. Ever since he’d turned around and spied Nadia standing behind him, his body had been primed. If Cerise hadn’t have been there he would’ve been tempted to blow off the dinner reservation and take her back to her bedroom, strip off her sexy pink dress and sink into her warmth.
He still wanted to do that.
His plan had been dinner and a walk around the famed San Antonio Riverwalk. Then drive her back to her place, give her a kiss goodnight and go home. Now though, the temptation to book a room at one of the many hotels in San Antonio was high. For some reason he didn’t think Nadia would object if he suggested it. But first they had to get through dinner. The restaurant he’d chosen was intimate and their table was tucked into a quiet corner. A battery operated candle flickered in the middle of the white cloth. The soft strains of violin music enhanced the atmosphere.
Pops had steered him right when he’d asked the older man for a good place to eat in San Antonio. Pierre’s ticked all the boxes for a romantic evening for two.
“Do you know what you might like to eat,” Nadia asked.
The words on the menu could’ve been gibberish for all the attention he’d been paying it. “Umm I’m not sure. Everything looks so good.” That sounded like a reasonable response, but he made sure he put thoughts of hotel rooms, tangled sheets and sweet moans out of his mind.
Their server returned at the moment with the drinks they’d ordered just after they’d been seated. “Are you ready to order?” he asked, looking between the two of them, a benign smile o
n his face.
“I think we need a few more minutes, thank you.” Nadia spoke before he could. “There’s so much to choose from and it all looks so good. Can you recommend anything?” She glanced over at him and winked.
He picked up his water glass and took a sip, hiding his smile.
Their server rattled off quite a few dishes in quick succession and Buff had difficulty keeping up. When he walked way, Buff lowered his menu. “Did you get any of that?”
Nadia giggled and he liked the sweet sound of it. “Umm, not really. He was rather fast wasn’t he?”
“Yep.” He went back to studying the menu, finally settling on the New York Strip. When in doubt, the answer was always a good steak. He laid his menu down at the same time as Nadia. Their eyes met and held for a brief second before she looked away, licking her lips.
Reaching across the table he picked up her hand that was fiddling with the silverware. With his other hand he grabbed the glass of beer the server had set down and raised it in the air. Seeing what he was doing, Nadia copied his action with her wine glass.
Buff wanted to say something deep as well as witty, but his mind drew a blank. He’d never been one for big long speeches, could be a leftover hang-up from his Army days when instructions had to be fired out. There was no time for long winded discussions when a soldier’s life was in his hands. But he wanted to say something now. Something that Nadia wouldn’t forget.
Once again he trained his gaze onto hers, letting her see the desire he felt for her. Wanting her to know that there wasn’t anywhere else he’d rather be than right at this table with her. “Here’s to you. The woman who helped me when I wasn’t ready to admit I needed it. Thank you for giving me the courage to face my demons. Thank you for being you.” He tapped his glass against hers.
“That’s a beautiful thing to say, Buff. Thank you. I know you’ve got a lot to give me too. Your courage is inspiring and I want you know,” she paused and licked her lips again. “I will always be here for you if you need me.”
Fighting For Nadia (Police and Fire: Operation Alpha) (Tarpley VFD Book 6) Page 11