Love Lessons (Love Language Book 2)

by Reese Morrison

  Landon blinked for a second, and then offered his signature seductive smile, his head bowed and his eyes looking up. Well, that hadn’t changed.

  Landon waved hello, and there was something subtly different about the movement. It was somehow just a bit more feminine. Not campy or over-acted. Just naturally a bit smaller and gentler. Dustin was fascinated.

  He was also feeling a bit overwhelmed, with too many changes too quickly. And was Landon really just going to act like their evening together had never happened?

  He returned the greeting, not sure what else to do.

  You can call me Lena, by the way. Landon explained, fingerspelling the name and giving a name sign, an L stroked down the jaw. Landon’s name sign, an L tapped at the temple, which was the “masculine” area of the face, now made a lot more sense. Landon and Lena, male and female.

  You can refer to me as WOMAN, Lena continued.

  Dustin nodded slowly while he mentally reset things in his mind. Like pronouns? he finally asked. Lena had stated Ash's pronouns with introducing them, but in ASL you pointed to indicate a person and then signed MAN or WOMAN. Another pointing gesture would replace the pronoun for the rest of the conversation.

  Lena agreed. I use she/her pronouns.

  OK. Dustin could do that. But he had questions. Lots of questions.

  He just wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ask them and how to phrase them. He had a few friends who were trans and genderqueer and they got annoyed having to explain themselves all the time. Are you… genderfluid? He fingerspelled the word. He hadn’t actually met anyone who identified that way, although he knew the term.

  Lena nodded. You can sign it like this. She circled the letter G over her heart, a sign which he hadn’t seen for GENDER before. He only knew a sign made at the cheek that represented male and female, but this sign made it more personal. About how someone felt instead of how they were assigned in a binary. For FLUID she curled her first two fingers downward, adapting the word to denote a person, and waved them back and forth horizontally.

  Ash laughed. My gender is more like this. They made the same circling sign for GENDER and then snaked their two curled fingers all over the space in front of them.

  In that case, Lena added, I’m more like this. She signed GENDER, then made her two fingers hop precisely from the left to the right and back again, pausing for emphasis in each location. Only one at a time. Not both or in between.

  Alright, that helped a lot. Her clothing definitely made it easy to identify her as Lena, and he noticed that her posture was straighter and her movements more graceful. It wasn’t anything forced or dramatic, just a cluster of subtle cues that added up to something that seemed more feminine.

  Dustin still had more questions, but he wasn’t sure if he could ask them. He was curious about all of her choices and experiences, because this seemed like it was going to be really important to understanding who she was, but he also suspected that she’d be hesitant to share. And, honestly, he was trying to figure out what it would mean if he were lucky enough to end up in bed with her again.

  Those musings left him in an even weirder place. Was Lena really not going to talk about last month? Was he just supposed to act like it hadn’t happened?

  There was an awkward pause until Ash decided to fill it. You didn’t finish your story. How many people came to the event?

  The rest of the munch only got more confusing. Not because it was different. But because it was exactly the same. He’d known that she saw it as a meaningless hook-up, a single lesson to help out the new Dom, but it was different being confronted with it.

  Lena flitted around the table like she had the last time, joining conversations and checking in on everyone. She walked with a gentle, rolling swivel to her hips, an unconscious grace that Dustin couldn’t tear his eyes away from.

  And then, when she sat back down next to Dustin, she started flirting again. Their knees brushed under the table and Dustin could feel the soft fabric of her dress falling over his thigh. She playfully stole his fries, and he playfully fed her one. She ran one hand up his leg, under the table where no one could see and made him shiver.

  But then she would trounce off to laugh and flirt with someone else. Lena was still gorgeous, and still completely out of his league. She sparkled and shone, not with her natural makeup and softly glowing skin, but with that inner light that drew everyone to her.

  The whole morning was fun and arousing and confusing as fuck. He knew that other people had hookups, but now he was certain that it wasn’t for him.

  As the event broke up, he watched her as she leaned over to plant a kiss on someone’s cheek. He completely gave up on holding a conversation with Ash. What was it about her?

  She was flirty, but not in a pushy way. It was more like she naturally liked people and wanted them to like her. But there was something performative about it, too. No, not performative. And compulsive was too strong a word.

  He watched her more closely as she gave out hugs, shared advice, pulled out her phone to make notes or contact someone, and made sure that another newbie was settled with some information for next time. She seemed to thrive on that as much as the flirting.

  And she was clearly good at it. She seemed to be the social center of the group, but as far as he could tell, she didn’t interfere where she wasn’t wanted or step on toes. Bruce, the other moderator of the group, was talking to someone and he watched Lena as she tried to read their lips, trying to determine if they needed her.

  Speech reading was exhausting, and he couldn’t figure out how she had the energy for it.

  And that was when he started to figure it out. Lena needed to be needed. Dustin tried to remember if there was some kink for that, something about serving people. But this seemed a little too mundane for that, or at least by what he understood of the kink world.

  It made him wonder if anyone ever did praise her, though. Outside of a scene and for more than her looks.

  Not that it mattered anyway. He’d gotten a “lesson” out of this that he’d never forget, and apparently that’s all it would ever be. He caught her eye, gave a brief nod, and started for the parking lot.

  He pulled his ear plugs out now that he wasn’t going to be overwhelmed by a din of voices. It was nice not to have them heavy in his ears.

  He heard the soft shuffle of footsteps behind him but didn’t turn. Today had just been weird.

  But as he reached his car, he heard the steps get faster and closer and felt a hand on his arm. He turned to find Lena, looking a little shy.

  He gave her a polite smile but didn’t extend it any further. Funny how we keep running into each other here.

  She seemed to take that as an invitation, though, and he watched her dial up the charm. He enjoyed her flirtatious side, because it was a fun game to play, but he hated that it seemed to be something she fell back on when she was nervous.

  She didn’t need to flirt to get his attention. He would rather that she showed more of herself. But that wasn’t really his place to worry about.

  I had fun last time, she opened, before running a hand down his arm. Want to come over for another lesson?

  Fuck. Did he? She was stunning and untouchable, too attractive and outgoing for his boring, plain self. It was really that hint of vulnerability and neediness that drew him in. The way that she’d opened up to him and given him that look of awe when he’d showed her that he was paying attention.

  But could he handle another month of being ignored and then propositioned in the parking lot? Another month of not knowing if someone was treating Lena like she deserved to be treated and taking care of her?

  The thought burned.

  He grabbed her arms and wheeled her around so that her back was lined up with his car. Then he stepped forward. And again. Until she was pressed up tight against the metal and glass and he was a hair's breadth away from pressing his whole body against her inviting warmth.

  But he didn’t touch her, loving the way her eyes
grew wide and her breath grew heavy as she imagined it anyway. He ran his lips just over her bare collar bone, breathed along her ear. She shivered and arousal pooled inside him.

  He pressed the side of his foot gently against her ankle, noticing that she was wearing slim ballet flats instead of the heels he would have expected. He liked that, because Lena was already tall and he wanted, at least figuratively, to tower over her. She widened her stance, and then widened it again at another nudge.

  He pressed his palms against the windows and his knee into the empty space between her thighs, trapping her but still not touching her.

  She snuck a hand up to her chest, signing PLEASE.

  He pulled back just far enough to sign, his thigh still between hers. If I go home with you, you’re going to follow the rules.

  He didn’t quite know where this was coming from, this newfound confidence and power and ownership. But he knew what he needed, and had a guess of maybe what she needed too. And if he had to make it sexual, to make it a scene, he would.

  And God, did it feel good.

  If we do this, I’m going home with you now. We’re going to spend the day together. If you have plans, you can cancel them, or I’ll go with you. Got it?

  Lena shook her head slowly, eyes unfocused, and then nodded. He narrowed his eyes.

  Yes. I agree, but I don’t understand.

  No more avoiding me. Also, you are going to go over your calendar with me. We’re not getting engaged or anything, but if we’re going to do this, I expect to see you sometimes when we’re not at the munch. Understand?

  Yes.

  Good. Because we’re not going to wait a month next time. Even if we’re friends with benefits, we’re going to at least be friends. And I’m taking you out somewhere. You can call it hanging out or you can call it a date, but we’re going to spend at least one evening together where we don’t have sex. Because that’s what I can offer. Take it or leave it. Do you think you can do that?

  Those beautiful gray eyes grew stormy and Dustin wondered if he’d pushed too far. But was it really too much to want to spend a few evenings together? To be friends with someone you were doing something so intimate with, even if it was only for lessons?

  Lena searched his face, almost confused. He wanted to help her feel better, but he wasn’t going to let her out of this. OK, fine, she finally signed.

  He pressed against her then, rewarding her and giving himself what he wanted. He kissed her deeply, angling her head and thrusting his tongue into her mouth until she was panting. He could feel how hard she was against his thigh, and he rubbed against the flowing fabric of her dress just to hear her moan.

  God, it was tantalizing, knowing that just that thin scrap of fabric lay between them.

  Then he stepped back. Thank you for agreeing to that, he said simply. Where’s your car?

  She led him over to her vehicle and he made a show of opening her door and fastening her seatbelt. He leaned over to add one more thing. Don’t forget, you still owe me for cancelling on me. I’m going to follow you home, and then you have a lesson coming to you.

  He closed her door and walked over to his own car. Now that he wasn’t commanding Lena, his thoughts tumbled over one another.

  Was he doing the wrong thing? He couldn’t tell if he was pushing her too hard or stepping in where she needed someone. Was she just humoring him, or did she want this, too?

  It didn’t help that Dustin didn’t know what he wanted himself. He was telling himself that he wanted the basic decency of a returned text message and the familiarity of a minimal friendship to underlie what was otherwise going to be a series of educational, but extremely vulnerable, encounters.

  He didn’t want to get his hopes up for anything more. She’d set her own limits pretty plainly, and this was just a negotiation for a little bit more.

  It didn’t help that he was still so new to everything. He was working on instinct, doing what he’d wanted to do in every past relationship when he had been told that he was too overbearing. It had been fucking hot, at least in his opinion.

  He hoped Lena thought so, too. He knew from his reading that there were people who took their D/s relationships into the rest of their lives, but it seemed like there were a hell of a lot more who wanted it contained to the occasional scene. With Lena, he felt like this new, eager part of himself was just spilling out all over the place.

  And if he guessed incorrectly here, he felt like he might be making an even bigger mistake than he’d made with Alan. He couldn’t bear realizing that he’d hurt his ex’s body without meaning to, but he got the sense that if he messed things up with Lena, he’d be hurting something much deeper.

  It didn’t escape his notice that it took Lena a long time to leave the parking lot, too.

  Chapter 7

  Lena

  Lena drove toward her house, barely noticing as she turned down familiar streets. Her mind was spinning, and she wished the drive were longer.

  Nothing made any sense with Dustin. It was hot as fuck, of course, when he got all demanding and stern. And the way that he’d pinned her to the car, with his intentions and not a single touch, still had her out of her mind in need.

  But what did he want? Everyone else was fine with hook-ups, and her previous training sessions had never felt like this. People probably don’t like being cancelled on, obviously, but she’d never had anyone demand that she have dinner with them.

  She felt nervous and jittery now. The little commands, like looking over her calendar and spending an evening together, made her feel safe and wanted when he’d said it. But now that she had a little bit of space, it felt like the floor was falling out from underneath her. Could she trust it?

  And what did it all mean?

  He’d ripped away her plan of giving him lessons, and it was both nourishing to be wanted so much and scary for the same reason. He’d said before that he didn’t want a one-night stand, but what could he realistically want instead?

  She could still feel the faint touch of his hands when he’d guided her into the car and then leaned across her to buckle her safety belt. What had that been all about? And why did she like it so much?

  And then the punishment he said he owed her… Would he spank her? It seemed unlikely that he would use the crop, since he’d clearly been worried about it last time. He could use some other form of delightful pain. Or he could make her stand in a corner or something a bit more Domestic Discipline.

  That made her realize something. She’d never actually been punished before. Of course, obviously, she’d done scenes that started with some premise of “you’ve been naughty,” but it was always in play. They were consequences without any action preceding them.

  Somehow, this seemed like it would be a real punishment. Like it would mean something.

  And did she want that? It sounded sexy, but also nerve wracking.

  Why couldn’t Dustin ever follow the script?

  She found herself turning onto her own street with only a faint memory of the drive over. Parking was easy on the weekends and she pulled into a spot just in front of her building. Now what was she supposed to do?

  She watched Dustin pull up and neatly parallel park just two cars in front of her. She felt like everything was spinning out of control. Should she try to rush upstairs so that she could buzz him up? Walk over to his car?

  Her indecision ultimately made the choice for her. She startled when her door opened, and then he was there, leaning over her and unfastening her seatbelt. Thank you for waiting for me, he said. Like they’d agreed on this or something. Like he did it every day.

  She got that squirmy, hot feeling again. It made her feel needy and small, but in this perplexingly sexy way, and she didn’t even know why.

  He offered her a hand and she took it, using it as leverage as she stepped out of the car. And then he hooked her hand into the crook of his arm, like he was some old-fashioned gentleman escorting a lady.

  She leaned on him perhaps a little
more heavily than she needed to, trusting him to guide her while her mind spun. This whole thing was weird and perfect and baffling all at the same time.

  It helped that he hadn’t even blinked when she introduced herself as Lena. He’d certainly stared, though, following her with his eyes when she moved. She’d expected it to be… well, she wasn’t sure what she had expected. More questions, maybe, about herself or gender fluidity in general? If not outright rejection.

  But he’d just gone with the flow, accepting her identity, visibly appreciating it, and now making these cute but perplexing little gestures to affirm that identity like offering her his arm.

  She wondered if Dustin would buckle her seatbelt when she was Landon, too. And then she remembered that this was just some text messages, dinner, and hopefully as many scenes as he was willing to give her.

  She unlocked the door to her building, and he shifted his hand to the small of her back, where it stayed all through the elevator ride and into her apartment.

  Once inside, Lena looked at him anxiously. He seemed so confident, far from the nervous new Dom she’d invited over last month.

  He settled onto her couch. Before we do anything else, I just want to check in about a few things.

  Good. This was good. Checking in usually meant planning a scene, and planning a scene meant hot sex, and that was something she was totally up for. Sure, she smiled, swinging her hips as she walked over to him.

  When she was Lena, she always wished her hips were a little wider and her waist a little narrower, but she usually didn’t dwell on it. She actually loved her body, but it didn’t stop her small insecurities when she was with a new person.

  The sway she put into her hips felt right for how she felt, but it also helped cover the little things she sometimes worried about. By the expression on Dustin’s face, it was working.

  She settled herself onto the couch, making a show of pointing her toes as she crossed one long leg over the other. Yeah, Dustin definitely appreciated that. It looked like today would be just as good as last time.