Derek

by Aston, Alexa

  Could he stop at one night?

  He didn’t know.

  He reached the Trumbull townhouse and turned the knob. The door was unlocked as she’d said. They’d briefly spoken at tonight’s musicale as they’d both taken a glass of ratafia and then sat on opposite sides of the room. Trumbull actually sat with Amelia, which surprised Derek. When the earl caught his eye from across the room, he was certain Trumbull knew he was the man Amelia had invited into her bed tonight.

  Derek took the lit candle near the entrance and proceeded up the stairs. No servants were in sight. He heard a clock chiming midnight in the distance as he silently made his way along the corridor, counting the doors and pausing in front of what he hoped was the correct one. Without knocking, he entered.

  Moonlight flooded the room. Amelia stood with her back to him, gazing out the window. He closed the door and she turned. His breath caught. Thanks to the moonlight, her simple night rail, worn with no dressing gown over it, was transparent. He could see the curve of her hips and breasts and the silhouette of her long, shapely legs. She was the loveliest creature he’d ever seen.

  And tonight—she was his.

  He placed the candle down and moved toward her, his heart slamming against his ribs. He paused before her, drinking her in. It was the first time he’d seen her hair unpinned. It spilled down her back in waves. He stepped close, their bodies barely touching, and pushed his fingers into her hair, threading them into the thick mass of silk.

  “Tonight is ours,” she said softly.

  “Ours,” he agreed.

  Derek’s fingers tugged on her hair, tilting her head back. Amelia’s eyes loomed large, studying him as if they might never see one another again. His mouth covered hers and they kissed for a long time, each one sweeter than the one before. His hands slid down her slender back, rubbing up and down and finally cupping her buttocks, holding her to him. Amelia’s hands caressed his chest and then she wrapped her arms around his waist, holding tightly.

  He broke the kiss. “Let me undress you.”

  She nodded.

  He undid the ribbons and peeled the night rail from her, tossing it to the ground. Moonlight bathed her flawless alabaster skin.

  “My God, you are perfect,” he whispered.

  Amelia began undoing his cravat, pulling it from his neck. He allowed her to play valet to him, unbuttoning and stripping the clothes from him. When he was bared to the waist, she smiled.

  “You are the perfect one,” she said in awe, her palms flattening against his chest and rubbing up and down it, stroking him, inflaming his desire.

  He kissed her again, long and deep, feeling himself growing hard.

  She pulled away. “Let me finish.”

  Leading him to a chair, she had him sit and helped remove his Hessians. The rest of his clothes quickly followed and he rose, embracing her. His lips kissed her hair as he held her close, feeling her heart beating as rapidly as his own did. Without a word, Derek took her hand and led her to the bed, already turned back and ready for them.

  “Lie down so I may worship you,” he said.

  Knowing this was his only time to be with her, he touched and kissed her everywhere, memorizing every line of her body. He found where her neck and shoulder joined to be an especially sensitive spot and kissed and licked his way from it to her breasts. They were plump and filled his palms perfectly. His tongue swirled around her nipples, causing them to pebble in need. He flicked his tongue across them, stealing her breath.

  Derek kissed his way back to her lips. She opened for him and his tongue sampled her sweet nectar. His fingers lightly stroked her inner thigh and then moved upward, teasing the seam of her sex. He pushed one finger inside her and heard her gasp as he kissed her. Another joined it and he stroked her until she writhed and panted. Finding her nub with his thumb, he teased and rubbed it until she was sighing and whimpering and calling his name.

  “Fall, Amelia,” he urged. “Tumble headfirst into the bliss.”

  She cried out in ecstasy as he watched. She said his name, over and over, riding the wave of pleasure until it subsided. The glow of happiness flushed her face.

  In that moment, he knew he couldn’t take her virginity.

  “I don’t know what that was,” she said, wonder in her voice, “but it was incredible.”

  “It will get better,” he promised.

  Derek took his time kissing everywhere on her, finding the tender spot behind her knee and the one along her collarbone. He trailed a line of kisses down her belly as his hands captured her ankles, pushing them toward her to raise her knees. With better access to her now, he dipped his tongue into her core.

  “Derek!” she gasped. “What are you doing?”

  He raised his head, delighted in the shocked look on her face. “I’ve made love to you with my fingers. Now my tongue and lips will do the same.”

  Astonishment filled her eyes. “Lady Merrick said nothing about this.”

  “Is she the one who prepared you for your wedding night?” he asked.

  Amelia nodded.

  “Then let me show you what she forget to mention.”

  Derek had learned much from the widow he’d gone to during his Oxford years and used that knowledge now on Amelia. Soon, she clutched his hair, begging for more, whimpering and panting and then cresting until she shuddered violently and lay spent.

  He moved so that he lay next to her, his arm going about her waist as he nuzzled her neck.

  “It did get better,” she said, humor laced in her voice. “I didn’t think that possible.” She paused. “But you’ve only pleasured me. Lady Merrick said I was also to pleasure you. And we haven’t even done what she told me about.”

  Amelia sat up and saw his swollen cock. Her eyes widened. “My, that’s very large.”

  She reached out and grasped it and he groaned at her touch. Smiling, her thumb started stroking its head.

  It was torture. It was madness.

  It was heaven.

  She continued to touch him until he thought he would explode. Before he could spend his seed, he pushed himself from the bed and pulled her chamber pot from beneath the bed, using it instead of her to receive his release. He went to his clothes and pulled a handkerchief from them and cleaned himself before returning to the bed.

  By now, she sat up, a frown on her face. He joined her on the bed and cupped her cheek. Moving in to kiss her, she pushed him away.

  “Why did you do that? I already knew it would hurt a little bit but Lady Merrick said it only hurts once. I thought . . . I thought . . . we could do it . . . at least twice tonight.”

  Derek cradled her face in his hands. “I want to but I can’t, love. As right as it feels to hold you in my arms, I cannot claim your virginity.”

  He kissed her cheeks, the salt from her tears stinging his tongue.

  “I wish you weren’t so noble,” she complained good-naturedly. “I suppose it’s one of the reasons I—”

  She clamped her lips tightly together.

  “I know you love me, Amelia. As I love you.”

  She shook her head as a stubborn child being told something she didn’t want to hear. “No. It’s selfish. We cannot love one another, Derek. Tonight is it for us. You must promise me you’ll find someone to love. Someone you’ll care for. A wife to share your life with. One who will give you children.”

  What she said made sense in his head but his heart overruled her words.

  “Never.”

  “Please,” she begged. “I can’t stand to think of you unhappy.”

  “And I can’t stand the thought of us spending holidays together, sitting in the same room even though a gulf wider than the world is between us.”

  “If you truly love me, you’ll do what I ask. What I need is for you to forget me, Derek. I’ll only be happy if you walk away and create a wonderful life for yourself.” Her fingers caressed his cheek. “Do that. For me.”

  He kissed her. “All right,” he agreed, his heart
shattering into a thousand jagged pieces.

  They lay on the bed after that, his arms about her. No talk between them, just savoring the feel of one another. Finally, he kissed her and rose in order to dress. She did the same, slipping her night rail back on and layering a dressing gown of powder blue over it.

  “Let me walk you downstairs,” she said quietly.

  They left her chamber, the house silent, and made their way downstairs. Reaching the door, Derek took her in his arms again for a final, passionate kiss. In it, he could taste their love mixed with the bitterness of their farewell.

  Breaking the kiss, he said, “I will never forget you, Amelia. You will always hold my heart.”

  “I will always—”

  “I was afraid of this,” a voice said.

  Trumbull stepped from the shadows. “Now I’ll have to do something about it.”

  Chapter Ten

  An icy chill swept through Amelia at the sight of her husband. Derek’s fingers laced through hers, giving her comfort—and the courage to speak up.

  “You don’t have to do a thing, Trumbull. Derek is leaving.”

  The marquess glared at her. “I told you to keep your emotions separate. That you could dally with whomever you chose as long as you guarded your heart. You didn’t listen, though.” He turned to Derek. “You’ll have to pay the price, Reston, for my wife’s mistake.”

  “She’s still a virgin, Trumbull,” Derek said. “We’ve decided not to see one another again.”

  Trumbull groaned. “That’s even worse. Don’t you see? You’ll moon at each other from across the room, no matter what event you’re attending, and continually pine for one another. I can’t have it.”

  “I don’t understand,” Amelia said. “I accepted your bargain, which gives us both our freedom to do as we wish within reason—and yet you renege on it. You’re allowed to do whatever you want. And what do you mean that Derek will pay the price?”

  Her husband gave her a grim smile. “He will pay with his life. Because I now challenge him to a duel.”

  Her blood ran cold. She’d watched Trumbull shoot from the window of her prison. The man never missed. Never. She had no idea what kind of shot Derek was but doubted he could best Trumbull in a duel. Allowing him to accept the challenge would be signing his death warrant.

  As Derek said, “I accept,” at the same time she said, “I won’t allow it.”

  “You have no choice, pet.”

  “Quit calling me that!” she hissed. “You are the one who said we were to avoid public scandal. That you didn’t want your father alienated in any way. Yet you are going to challenge Derek to a duel—which the entire ton will hear about—and for what? Beyond a few kisses, he hasn’t touched me. I am as pure as the day we wed so there is no reason for you to fight a duel over me.”

  Trumbull’s smile turned evil. “I rather like it, though. Durham will see it as a romantic gesture. So will the ton. It will be nice to be in everyone’s good graces for a short while. I’m one of the best shots in London. Reston will be eliminated. My wife’s heart will be broken for a while but then she’ll learn to keep it intact with her future lovers.”

  Amelia broke away from Derek and shoved her husband with both hands, causing him to stumble.

  “You’ll do no such thing. I’ll call a doctor and submit to his examination. He’ll verify I’m still a virgin. I’ll deliver that report to Durham and let all of society know, as well.” She paused. “Unless you end this foolishness.”

  “You wouldn’t dare,” Trumbull said with confidence, though she saw doubt flicker in his eyes.

  “I would—because you’re breaking our agreement. We’re not to cause any scandals, alone or separately. You cannot have me agree to rules and then change them once the game has begun, Trumbull. I won’t stand for it. I’ve already told Derek he should move on and find a wife. He hasn’t compromised me. Get it through your thick skull that it’s over before it ever started between us. Let him be.”

  Her husband took a menacing step toward her but Amelia held her ground.

  “All right,” he said grudgingly. “But you’re never to dance or dine with him again. If your paths cross, give only a cursory greeting.”

  She snorted. “What about family affairs? Dinners? Holidays? Thea is my best friend. I won’t give up seeing her for tea or going on outings together,” she said stubbornly.

  “Very well. The rare times we will be around your family, I demand the same. A brief greeting to Reston and then you move on. As for Lady Thea, you may see her but never be in Reston’s company. Do you agree to this?”

  Amelia turned to Derek, whose jaw looked set in granite. Anger flooded his face.

  “Yes,” she said to Trumbull, her eyes fixed on the man she loved. “We agree to it all. It will help us both move on.”

  Anguish now filled Derek’s face as she continued. “We’ve said our goodbyes, Derek. I hope you find a woman worthy of you. Farewell.”

  With that, Amelia turned and walked with measured grace to the staircase and ascended it, believing if she looked back, she might turn to salt as Lot’s wife did.

  Derek rose and allowed his valet to dress him, feeling dead inside. He’d fallen into bed just before dawn and hadn’t slept at all. His eyes felt as if sand had been poured into them.

  He’d never have a conversation with Amelia again. Never dance with her. Never share a meal. He would be doomed to dream of her kisses and never be fulfilled. It seemed as if his life had ended abruptly. He had decades of unhappiness left ahead of him, a living death from which he’d never escape.

  Could he do as she asked and find someone else to love?

  He doubted it. Instead, he would focus on what he deemed important. Work to increase the productivity of Esterley during his twenties and wait until thirty or beyond before ever taking a wife. It wouldn’t be fair to any woman he met now because his heart, mind, and soul belonged to Amelia. Maybe time and distance would allow him to move forward and one day wed.

  But he would always cherish Amelia in his heart.

  Derek went downstairs and entered the sunny breakfast room. The thought of food had no appeal to him.

  “Good morning,” Thea said cheerfully. “You look rather sullen. Was the musicale that boring last night?”

  He decided to be honest with his sister. “Leave us,” he commanded, and the footmen, looking confused at being dismissed mid-meal, left the room.

  Thea took his hand. “What’s wrong, Derek?”

  “Everything.” He paused. “I am in love with Amelia.”

  She drew in a quick breath. “Oh. I was afraid of that.”

  He didn’t bother to ask how she’d come to that realization. In the long run, it didn’t matter.

  “I made a huge mistake by not offering for her. I realize that now. It’s something I must live with the rest of my life. She is married now. Because of that, I have spoken with her.”

  “She knows of your feelings toward her?”

  He nodded. “We think it best not to interact socially in any way. We’ll be cordial if we run across one another in public but it’s best to cut all ties. Because of that, I hope you’ll share your calendar with me. When you’re going to see her. If she’s scheduled to come to tea. I will make myself scarce during those times.”

  Sympathy poured from her as she squeezed his hand and then lifted it and held it against her cheek for a long moment.

  “I cannot imagine how you feel. Only know that I love you and will do whatever I can to help you through this. Even if I need to end my friendship with her.”

  Derek gave her a weak smile. “I’d never ask you to do that. Just leave me out of any future outings.”

  “All right,” she said softly and released his hand.

  He rose. “I’m not hungry. I’ll leave you to your breakfast.”

  “Wait.”

  He stopped. “Yes?”

  “The surgeon is removing my plaster at eleven today.”

  “No
wonder you appear to be in such a good mood.”

  “I’ve eagerly awaited this. The moment it’s off, I can’t wait to soak in a hot bath.” She hesitated “Because of this, Diana and Amelia are calling for me at one o’clock. We are to go buy new bonnets and then stop at Gunter’s for ices.”

  “Thank you for letting me know. I would like to speak to the surgeon before he leaves.”

  Thea nodded. “I’ll tell him.”

  Without further conversation, Derek left the room and retreated to his study. He sat staring at the papers before him. Nothing made sense and he finally pushed them away as a knock sounded on the door.

  “Come.”

  The surgeon entered and Derek rose, offering his hand and asking, “How is my sister?”

  “Her bone has mended beautifully.”

  “She won’t be limited in what she can do?”

  “Not at all. I told her the limb will be weak from disuse, though, so she’ll need to build her strength back up. Walking will be good for her.”

  “Did she tell you of her outing today?”

  The surgeon nodded. “She did. I have no concerns regarding it. Lady Thea will know best when she needs to give the leg a rest. In a week’s time, I see her being completely back to her old self.”

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “My pleasure. The outcome is not always so bright for some of my patients. I’ll bid you good day, Lord Reston.”

  After the man left, Derek waited an hour and then went upstairs to see Thea, hoping her bath would be over. Her maid admitted him and he saw her fully dressed, though her hair hadn’t been arranged yet.

  She stood quickly and walked to him. “See? Good as new.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t suffer any further consequences.” Clasping her hands, he added, “I just wanted to see you for myself. I’m off now.”

  She nodded knowingly. “Will I see you for dinner?”

  “Of course.”

  He returned downstairs and decided to head to White’s. It might do him good to be around others. Once he arrived, he spoke to a few acquaintances and then took up today’s newspaper. The Earl of Mayfield came by and they had a long conversation regarding a pair of horses Mayfield was considering purchasing as they took some luncheon together. Afterward, Mayfield headed to his wife’s bookstore and Derek thought he might pound out some of his frustration at Gentleman Jack’s.