But these kinds of nights, like tonight, are my favorite. Spent in my basement, which is finished with my dad’s prized projection-screen TV. I get to cuddle up with Everett on the couch, where we pretend to watch TV but really just fool around. His hands slip under my shirt, my fingers drum on his abs, and eventually, clothes start to come off.
Though tonight, I can’t get out of my own head. I shrugged Everett off when he tried to unbutton my jeans, saying I just want to watch Not Another Teen Movie.
In reality, I’m still really bummed out about how things shook out for me with college. I have another two weeks to decide which school I’m going to attend, and I feel lackluster about my choices. My heart had been set on my top choice, and now that I don’t have the option, I barely want to think about it.
Everett has been so supportive, telling me I’ll succeed wherever I go, but that’s not the point. I know I should be so happy that I have so many amazing things in my life, but this has been a hard pill to swallow.
If I’ve learned anything in my senior year though, it’s that all the preparing and planning in the world won’t help you. I’d banked on Everett coming home way sooner than he had. I thought it would be picture-perfect the moment he came back to Brentwick, sweeping me off my feet. I thought we’d have our happily ever after, and I’d win homecoming queen and ride off into my top college choice sunset.
Life doesn’t work that way, though.
“I love you.” Everett brushes back a lock of my hair. “You in there? Earth to Kennedy.”
God, I love hearing those words. Ever since I read them in his letter, the one that never got delivered to me, I melt each time he says them. I can’t believe we both wrote those words, sent them, and had them returned. It’s as if the world was biding its time, like it had a plan to bring us together at the exact right time.
I admit, it’s taken some time since he came back from Evergreen, but we’re more solid than we’ve ever been. With his admission about what happened overseas, about all the things he’s been through, it all made so much more sense. He was trying to protect me, though I wish he’d told me that from the start.
“I love you.” I hug him back. “Just thinking about college.”
“You’re going to make the right choice. It will come. Maybe just take your mind off of it for a while. Focus on what’s right in front of you.” He kisses me lightly.
The feel of his mouth on mine sends a tingle down my spine. Focus on what’s right in front of me.
I’ve been dancing around losing my virginity for weeks. It seems like every time I make the decision to do so, something gets in the way. Whether it be Everett having a freak out, or me not getting into college, the emotional stress puts the kibosh on thinking about getting physical with him.
Except, I know right now, at this moment. This is what I want. What I need. I’d promised that when there were no more barriers between us, when the feelings had been admitted, secrets had been shared and those three words had been said … that’d I’d be ready.
It strikes, so hard between my shoulder blades, just how ready I am.
My hands reach up to grab his face, taking it between my hands, and I kiss him with an open mouth. I want to brand him, burn him. And when I pull back, that white hot pleasure already building between my thighs, I know what I want.
“Make love to me, Everett,” I whisper, my eyes just an inch from his.
Our noses touch, and his green irises go wide. “You’re sure?”
I nod. “Yes. I want to do this with you. Be as close as two people possibly can be.”
He leans back in, kissing me with such fervor that I almost can’t hold myself upright.
Moving from the couch, Everett takes the blanket we were just lying under and spreads it on the floor. “Your parents?”
“They’ll never come down. They never do.” I shake my head, too aroused to even care about intruders.
All teenagers do this, right? So what will it matter that this is in my parent’s house? I’m in love with my boyfriend who treats me like a princess. They couldn’t wish for more.
Once he sets some pillows on the floor and makes it as comfortable as he can, his hand reaches for mine. I join him, allowing him to lead me to kneel in the middle of the blanket.
“I love you so much. I’m so thankful I waited, for it to be you. You’re the only woman I’ve ever seen, Kennedy. The only one who my eyes search for in every room, in every place.”
His words slay me, because I can’t believe he waited. That we get to give ourselves to each other as equals.
Fingertips toy at the hem of my sweatshirt, and I suck in a lungful of air.
“Is this okay?” his smooth, deep voice whispers.
My nipples bud at his tone, and I scoot forward until I can nod into his shoulder. Slowly, Everett lifts my sweatshirt up and over my head, throwing it behind him. The cool air of the basement hits my bare skin, and I press myself harder into him seeking warmth.
We’ve been fooling around for months, even before he went to Everdeen, and being naked in front of him doesn’t embarrass me like I thought it would. No, Everett makes me feel like a woman, like my skin and body were meant to be adored by him.
He touches me, filling his palms with the cups of my bra, and I come alive like a wire. My thighs clench, and I automatically thrust my chest out. My hands seek to feel his skin, and I pull his shirt up and away.
I’ve dreamed about this so many times. Being alone with this boy, this man, the one who makes my heart beat out of my chest. How many times have I fantasized about him moving over me, making me feel better than anything I’ve dreamed before?
In no time flat, we’ve undressed each other, stealing kisses here and stroking our hands up down the other. Everett in the flesh is breathtaking. All carved muscle and well-honed strength. His scars tell his story, one that only endears him to me more.
“Let me see you.” Everett’s voice is husky, and his eyes flash a brilliant green as he studies me like the most magnificent piece of art. “You’re so beautiful, sometimes it hurts to look at you.”
I feel myself blush from head to toe, but I’m not self-conscious. I couldn’t be, not with him. Most girls would be uncomfortable, but we know each other so well and I’ve thought about this moment for forever.
Laying me back, Everett starts to kiss me, not a shred of anything between us. I feel his arousal, the wet tip leaving a trail over my stomach, as he slowly grinds into me. I’m restless and pent up, and I want him to touch the tight bud between my legs so badly that I might be whimpering.
“I want to try something first. To make you feel good, before …” His voice is sincere, and makes me flush all over again.
Before I know what he’s doing, Everett’s mouth is between my legs, and I have to slap a hand over my mouth when he licks right up my center.
“Oh my God,” I breathe out, hoping that only the two of us heard that.
It’s the first time he’s done this, the only time a guy has ever gone down on me. That sounds so adult, but the way Everett is licking and sucking me, I can barely think.
With every swirl of his tongue, and the way he’s nibbling on that hot button between my thighs, I am so close in a matter of seconds. This feels taboo, which only makes it hotter, and the way I’m exposed should make me feel vulnerable, but instead, I feel wholly powerful.
And when Everett pushes two fingers inside me at the same time his tongue presses down on my clit, I’m a goner. With my eyelids screwed up tight, fireworks start to go off in front of them. I’m shaking, my whole body reduced to shivers and pleasure. The orgasm steals my breath, and my hands latch to his thick blond hair, keeping him there. It’s shameful, but he feels so good I can’t care less.
As the waves of climax subside, Everett hovers over me, watching my face as it breaks into a smile. He nudges my nose in a loving way, but I’m still amped up even through the haze of my orgasm.
Reaching between us, I feel for him. My
hand wraps around his stiff, hot tool, and Everett drops his head to my shoulder.
“I want to feel you,” I whisper as I stroke him with my fist.
I’m rewarded with a growl, one that sends shivers up my spine. Just thinking about what we’re about to do, how we’re about to give ourselves to each other, it wakes up every primal nerve in me. Even though I just came down from my orgasm, my core is alive and clenching again.
Everett reaches for his jeans, where he finds his wallet. I watch as he pulls the condom out, waiting on the blanket in anticipation. Every cell in my body pulses with electric energy, and I see him in shadow art as he rolls the latex onto himself. He’s big, and I know how this works but at the same time … how is this going to work?
He returns to me, positioning himself between my legs. I run my fingers over the stubble on his jaw, trying not to be nervous.
“I love you.” His eyes connect with mine.
“I love you.” My voice is throaty and anxious.
And then he pushes in. We don’t say it will hurt, or that he’s sorry for causing me pain. These are things we know. But I’m not ready for the pressure, the sharp, piercing ache that penetrates me as Everett tries to fill me with himself.
I squirm, trying to get away, and the pain burns so fiercely that my eyes start to water.
“Look at me. Look at me, Kennedy.” Green eyes blaze into mine.
I try to focus on Everett, to look past the pain. He bends to kiss my jaw, my cheeks, my nose, my lips. Every part of my face, every part of me that he can reach, he kisses. Slowly, as his lips coax pleasure that runs over my skin, I forget about the pain. Slowly, it subsides.
And what it gives way to is out of this world. Being connected to this man, the one I’ve loved for so long, as he looks down at me like he sees the universe opening for him.
“It feels … good.” I breathe, sliding my hands up to his shoulders, feeling his strong arms brace over me.
“Christ, it does.” He blows out a breath as if he’s been holding it for years.
Everett starts to really move then. With every thrust, I have to contain a moan. With every stroke of him in to the very hilt, my legs spread wider. This feeling, one of such pleasure and fullness, now I know what all the fuss is about. He’s building me up, taking me higher, and while the pain is still there, I know that in time this will feel perfect.
I know I’m about to make noise, and I maneuver his lips to mine, letting him swallow my moans. He pounds into me, letting himself go wild.
“Kennedy,” he growls in my ear, and then goes still.
Everett’s breathing comes out in puffs, and I turn my face to the side to watch him. He’s beautiful, the epitome of a man in this moment. I can’t believe we waited for this; I’m so thankful we waited for this.
Once he’s emptied himself into the condom, he collapses onto me, running his hands up and down my arms.
I’m still catching my breath, reeling from the raw pleasure, emotion, and intensity that this just evoked, when Everett lifts his head. He’s thoroughly sexed, and I know that I’ll remember him like this, in this moment, for the rest of my life.
“I’m never leaving you, Kennedy. I am yours. Forever.”
39
Kennedy
“Deposit sent.”
I sigh, looking around the table at my Mom, Dad, and Everett.
“This is a great choice, honey. Great school, wonderful nursing program. You’re going to do amazing. And it’s in New York, you’ll have the mountains and gorges, it’s so beautiful.” Mom squeezes my hand across our dining room table.
I nod my head, feeling content with my decision. In the end, I went with my second choice school, which still has one of the best nursing programs in the region. I’ll be about three hours from home, which is just far enough and close enough at the same time. Rachel will be two hours away in New York City, and Bianca will be the opposite direction in Pennsylvania, about an hour away.
“You’re going to kick—” Everett clips off the end of his sentence, blushing at my dad.
You’d think there was nothing my foul-mouthed Marine could blush at, but apparently gaining my father’s approval is top priority. Not that Dad has ever said anything about our relationship; I think he’s actually rather relieved we finally worked it out. Drama is not my dad’s language.
“It will be great, sweetie.” Dad smiles at me.
We’ve just finished up dinner at my parent’s house, Everett was invited for his favorite meatloaf my Mom makes, and we’ve been talking about the future. For a while there, I was pretty adamant against talking about it, because I was so upset about not getting into my top college.
But my parents, and especially Everett, have been here every step of the way. Something Everett said has been ringing in my brain every time I think about college.
“There could be another choice or plan down the road that involves going to a different school that you might never have considered had you got into your top choice.”
And it’s so true. Life is messy. Maybe I wasn’t meant to get into my top choice, because life had another plan. Just like I had to wait this long for Everett, maybe it was meant to happen this way since we’re so happy now.
Now that the decision is made, that I’m into college and I’m on my way to graduation, I can celebrate. I’ve been looking at pictures of my soon-to-be campus home, the surrounding areas, and getting myself acquainted with the nursing program there. It’s really in-depth, and I can’t wait to start.
“Do you want to go pick up some ice cream?” Everett asks as we clear the table.
“Sure. Mom, Dad, you want anything?”
“Chocolate!” Mom calls from the kitchen.
“I’ll have a mint chocolate chip milkshake, thanks,” Dad says as I hear the sink turn on. He always washes.
I lace my hand through Everett’s as we head for the door. “Let’s go, babe.”
The weather has turned warmer as we head into summer, and I love the nighttime breeze. “Do you want to walk?”
Indigo Drive is only about a quarter of a mile from the town’s ice cream shop, and it’s a nice night.
“Yeah, let’s do it, babe.” Everett smirks at me.
We’ve been using pet names, since we can now, but more in a sarcastic way than anything. It’s fun and flirty and makes the butterflies in my stomach soar. Things with Everett have been so good since he told me about why he left Brentwick. I can’t believe he’s been through so much strife, and all the pain it’s caused him. More and more each day, he seems to be returning to the Everett I knew before. Only better, because now we’re so open and vulnerable with each other.
“So, I’ve been thinking,” he starts, his hand swinging mine as we walk. “About what I’ll do when you go to college.”
A pit forms in my stomach. I’ve tried to avoid thinking about it, because I don’t want to have to leave him again.
“I told you before that I wouldn’t leave you again. That’s a promise. So, I’m going to come with you.”
I completely stop walking and his hand is pulled from mine in the halted motion. “What?”
Everett turns around on the sidewalk, a knowing smile on his lips. He walks back to me and settles his hands on my hips.
“I’m coming with you. I’m going to move to New York, find an apartment, be near you. I can’t stand the thought of another second without you. I want you to have the full college experience, but I also can’t go months without seeing you. It would be impossible. So, I’m coming with you.”
I’m so freaking happy, I could burst out of my skin. “I-I can’t believe it. Of course, I want you to come with me. I’ve been dreading it thinking about saying goodbye. But what will you do?”
“Well, I thought I’d get my EMT certification.” He drops it casually, like this isn’t the biggest piece of information on our walk.
“What?” I must have heard him wrong.
He nods, grinning from ear to ear. “That ni
ght that I went with you and the team out on the call, I haven’t felt that right in a very long time. The chaos, the sense of purpose and helping those in need. I thrive in that hectic environment, and I think I could be really good at it.”
I tilt my head to the side and consider him. Now that I think about it, Everett would make an excellent EMT. “And you wouldn’t have to go to school. Just take the course, which is quick enough.”
“Exactly, it’s all on the job learning, which is how I learn best. I can come with you to New York, too. They need EMTs everywhere.”
I smile at him, feeling like all of our puzzle pieces are falling into place. “I think it’s the best idea you’ve had yet.”
He tugs on my hand. “Well, you haven’t heard my one where I suggest we make out in the park on our way to the ice cream shop.”
That makes me laugh, the sound getting lost in the night. “Now you’re talking!”
40
Kennedy
Colors and patterns and glitter can be seen every way you turn, and those are just the dresses.
The music bumps as Rachel, Bianca, and I dance in a small circle in the middle of the floor. I can’t believe this is one of the last times we’ll be together in the coming months. That it will be one of the last things we do as students at Brentwick High.
When we were freshman, senior prom felt so far away. It’s something we always looked forward to, and would highlight dresses in the catalogs every year, but felt so unreachable. We always had more time.
But now, time is running out. There are mere weeks before graduation, and all of our college choices are made.
“It feels fitting that we end this thing called high school with a massive party. Who doesn’t love a ball gown?” Rachel smiles as she slings her arms around both of us.
She’s wearing a sexy red mermaid gown, while Bianca opted for a leopard print A-line that looks incredible. I went with a deep maroon silk dress with a plunging back. Everett keeps trying to sneak his hands down there, and I kind of love that it’s making him like a dog chasing a bone.
Hometown Heartless Page 18