by Jenn Hype
I started to defend myself. To argue. To tell her I didn't want to rush her, that I was only trying to be respectful.
She didn't give me the chance.
Her mouth crushed mine in a bruising kiss. Soft fingers found their way under my shirt and Clara let out the sweetest little moan as she traced the lines of my stomach.
"I want to see you," she whispered, not waiting for permission before tearing my shirt over my head.
Patiently I sat back, letting her look her fill. It damn near killed me to stay that still while she took her time tracing every ridge and contour of the muscles I worked damn hard to maintain.
I'd had women appreciate my body before, but the awe in Clara's eyes filled me with pride. She studied me, taking in every inch of visible skin. It was intense and I fought not to fidget. My cock, on the other hand, quit obeying my commands to stay down. He twitched and I got to see up close and personal how that little movement affected Clara.
Her eyelids drooped, her eyes glossing over. Pink tinged her cheeks and her breathing picked up, her chest rising and falling rapidly.
"I," she started, then bit her lip and looked away.
"Say it," I encouraged her.
She was nervous, that much was obvious. The protector in me wanted to change the subject or make a joke to ease her nerves, but she'd told me she would tell me when she needed to slow down. I had to trust her. Maybe all she needed was a confidence boost. Instead of holding back, maybe she needed me to grab her hand and lead the way.
"Say it, Clara," I ordered firmly.
Her head whipped back, her eyes widening when they met mine. She liked it. Liked me bossing her.
"I want to see more of you," she said, her voice soft but strong.
I lifted her off my lap and stood. If things escalated, I wanted to be someplace where I could worship her properly. Anything that happened between us for the first time wouldn't be on a couch, it would be in a bed. Where Clara could stretch out, grip the sheets, writhe with ease.
She followed me to her bedroom, letting me guide her. When we were both standing at the foot of her bed, I kept my eyes on hers as I started undoing my pants. The sound of my zipper had her gaze moving south. I watched her gulp, her chest and neck turn bright red, as I pushed my jeans and boxers down to my ankles.
Her shyness kicked up a notch and she started to look away.
"Keep your eyes on me," I demanded gently.
She did as told.
Good girl.
After kicking my pants off the rest of the way, I took a step closer. I'd kept distance between us so she could see, but I wanted to push her. Slowly. I also had to keep reminding myself to trust her. It was a constant struggle. Wanting to protect her and make sure she was safe was my first instinct. But she was right. She was a grown woman. She could decide for herself. I wouldn't push her too hard too fast. I'd give her every opportunity to stop this.
My hand gripped my shaft, pulling up and down slowly, pumping my already painfully hard cock.
Heavy, harsh breaths were the only sound in the room. I could see her struggle. See her fingers twitch, her fists clench.
"See what you do to me?"
More than fucking anything I wanted to lunge for her, toss her onto the bed and strip her bare. Instead, I kept completely still other than my hand, which still moved up and down my dick in slow, leisurely strokes.
I'd never had to think so hard when it came to sex and women. If it were anyone else, I'd say fuck it and leave. Sex was supposed to be fun and easy, right?
Fuck that. The only thing touching me was her eyes and I was more turned on than I'd ever been in my life. I'd never touched myself like this in front of someone. But the way her greedy eyes followed each stroke of my hand filled me with so much want and pleasure I couldn't stop.
"Can I?" she whispered so softly I might not have even heard her if I wasn't already staring at her lips.
I closed the rest of the space between us. Her shaky hand reached out, stopping just short of my dick.
Fuck caution.
I took her hand and wrapped it around my shaft, giving it a squeeze so she'd know how much pressure to apply. When I pulled away, she kept her hand there, but didn't move it. I started to ask her, or tell her, or... Fuck. I wasn't sure what I should do.
But then she started moving. Her thumb swiped over the tip of my cock. According to Clara, she'd never touched a dick. I half expected semen to gross her out. I never, in a million fucking years, could have predicted what she'd do next.
Like a goddamn wet dream, Clara lifted her thumb and put it in her mouth, sucking the cum clean off her finger.
"Mmm," she hummed. "It tastes different than I thought it would."
I bit back a chuckle. "Is that good or bad?"
She shrugged. "Neither? I mean, I don't want to drink it by the gallon, but I think I wouldn't mind swallowing."
My head fell back and I groaned. This woman would be the death of me.
Something wet against the head of my dick had my head jerking back down, and sure enough, there was Clara, on her knees before me. Her tongue slowly traced all seven inches of me - yes, I'd measured - making sure not to leave any spot untouched.
"Will you teach me?" she asked in between licks, her voice so damn sincere and innocent.
"You're doing a pretty good job on your own," I choked out, not exaggerating even a little. If she didn't quit teasing me with her tongue, I'd be a goner the second she took me inside her mouth.
She gave me a skeptical look but her eyes softened when she took in my tortured expression. A little bit of smugness crept in and her smile turned wicked.
"I've watched lots of porn," she admitted casually, ignoring the strangled sound that forced its way out of my throat. "I wanted to know what I was doing when the time came, so I have an idea of what to do, but I want to blow your mind. While I blow you," she giggled. Only Clara could be sexy and adorable at the same time.
It didn't take long for me to blow. For someone without any hands-on experience, the woman sure knew what to do with her mouth. It was almost embarrassing how quickly I came, but her beaming smile squashed that right down. Clearly she was proud of how well she'd done. And oh, she'd done well. True to her word, she even swallowed it all. Didn't even gag when I hit the back of her throat. Went so far as to moan when the first spray of cum hit her tongue, as if she enjoyed it. Which, of course, only made me come that much harder.
Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she climbed to her feet, her smile wider than I'd ever seen it.
"I did it! I did it!"
She jumped up and down, her giddiness making it impossible for me not to laugh. And when she beamed up at me what else could I do but pull her close and hold her to my chest?
Her arms looped around my middle and she tilted her head back, resting her chin on my chest. Lifting one hand, I pushed a piece of hair that'd fallen into her face behind her ear.
"Sorry if I'm making things weird by getting so excited," she said shyly, but pride still sparkled in her eyes.
So. Damn. Adorable.
"Are you kidding me? What man wouldn't want a woman to be enthusiastic about giving blow jobs? I hit the jackpot."
She giggled and turned her head, snuggling closer.
"My turn."
Her body tensed, but I wasn't going to let her get shy on me now.
"Liam, you don't-"
"I want to."
"But I didn't... I mean, I only... I haven't..."
"Shhh." I silenced her with my finger pressed to her lips. She tried to retreat, but the backs of her knees hit her bed and she fell ungracefully to the mattress. Frenzied, she tried to crabwalk up the bed to get space, but I gripped her ankles.
Climbing onto the bed, I hovered over her, propping myself up on my elbows.
"I-I'm nervous," she confessed, her voice quivering.
"I'll take good care of you. I promise."
I hesitated just long enough to give her a chance to say stop. When sh
e didn't, I started my decent downward, taking her pants with me. The tight-fitting spandex had been teasing me all night. Peeling it off her legs, taking in her creamy thighs and smooth skin made my dick twitch back to life.
Once her legs were bare, I made my way back up toward my destination. I'd left her panties on. One step at a time.
When my nose touched the center of her, I inhaled deeply. She took in a ragged breath. I looked back up and found her biting her lip hard enough she might bleed.
"Tell me what you like, Clara. Talk to me. Don't be shy or afraid. I'll listen to your body's cues, but I'll get you there faster if you don't hold back. Every moan and whimper and sound that threatens, let it out. Don't be self-conscious."
She nodded, though I didn't expect her to let herself go so easily this first time.
Quickly, I was proven wrong.
"Oh my God," she groaned when I rubbed my nose up and down her satin-covered slit. "I don't think I can wait any more. Please."
The please was my undoing.
Tearing her panties down as fast as I could, I dove back into my destination with speeds I didn't even know I was capable. I wasted no time. There was no teasing. No easing her into the moment. The second my tongue tasted her, I became ravenous.
She tasted sweeter than anyone I'd ever tasted before. Her reaction so visceral and severe she nearly bounded off the bed.
Using one hand to hold her steady so she wouldn't buck up violently and break my nose with her hip bone, I sucked and licked and nipped. It only took her minutes to come, my tongue lapping up every bit of the arousal that spilled out of her.
Her fingers gripped my hair, tugging so hard I worried I'd have bald patches.
Would be worth it.
She screamed my name, her head thrashing back and forth on the pillow. Even after she came down from the high, I remained where I was, in no hurry to resurface from my new favorite place.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Clara
I couldn't breathe.
My lungs literally burned from lack of oxygen. So badly I thought I might actually suffocate.
And I couldn't have cared less.
"Breathe," Liam cooed above me.
I didn't need his patronizing. Sure, he'd given me an orgasm so good it almost killed me and probably deserved to be a little cocky, but I wasn't going to indulge him.
So while I gasped for air, I lifted my hand to his forehead and pushed his face away from me.
He laughed and immediately hovered over me again.
"Go. Away," I ordered breathlessly.
"Now is that any way to treat a man who just rocked your damn world?"
I rolled my eyes. Intentionally this time. A few minutes ago while I was in the throes of an orgasm my eyes had rolled into the back of my skull involuntarily.
"Don't ruin this by opening your annoying mouth."
Again Liam chuckled. This time I couldn't help but join him.
"Wow," I sighed. "If I admit to you how amazing that was are you going to let it go to your head?"
My head fell to the side. He lay next to me on his side, one hand propping up his head.
"It already did." He gestured downward and my obedient eyes looked down to find a giant erection staring back at me.
"You always bounce back that fast?" I asked him. Sure, I had no actual experience with sex, but I'd done plenty of research. Tons of it. I knew it took men time to recover. It couldn't have been more than five, ten minutes tops, since I'd blown his mind. And dick.
I giggled at myself. Liam quirked a brow but didn't question my random fit of laughter.
"To answer your question - it varies."
My smile died instantly. I hadn't thought much of the question at first, but his answer grounded me. A blatant reminder of Liam's past. Something I couldn't fault him for, but it bothered me all the same.
"Hey, what's that face?" Liam asked, his thumb stroking my downturned mouth.
I jerked out of reach, making his hand fall. It wasn't even intentional. His face fell, and immediately I wanted to apologize, but the words caught in my throat.
Being naked from the waist down only made me more self-conscious, so I kicked my legs frantically. Seeing as how I never made my bed, it wasn't hard to find an opening and shove myself underneath the blankets.
Though Liam was still stark naked beside me, he only looked worried. The fact that he had no clothes on didn't seem to faze him in the least. Another reminder.
"I'm sorry if I pushed you too far too fast," he said with so much sincerity the wall trying to form around my heart slowed its roll.
"You didn't," I managed to squeak out.
Thank God he didn't try to touch me. If he had, I would have fallen apart. No man wants a woman to crumble into a fit of sobs right after he gives her an amazing orgasm.
"Then what's wrong? Talk to me?" He was pleading. And I knew if I looked at him, I'd find pain and confusion in his eyes. But my focus stayed trained on my hands while they fidgeted with a loose string along the seam of my bedspread.
"I-It's not fair to you. I know that. And I'm sorry. Your past is just... hard for me."
He sighed and dropped onto his back. From my peripheral I saw him toss an arm over his eyes.
"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or bad or anything. Everyone has a past. Well, almost everyone," I amended. "I don't mean to punish you for it. It's my hang-up, not something you did wrong. I get that. I really do. But reminding myself of all the reasons it shouldn't bother me, or how I have no right to even be bothered in the first place doesn't make it all go away."
He shot up so fast it made me jump. Twisting his body, he turned to face me and gripped my cheeks so hard it almost hurt. I had no place to look other than right into his eyes.
"Don't do that. Don't diminish your feelings or try to shame yourself into feeling a different way. You're entitled to your feelings, Clara. You can't change yourself any more than I can change my past. The only way for us to get through this, to make this work, is to talk about it. Even if you think what you say might hurt me, if it's how you feel, you need to say it. If you bottle it up inside it'll only grow and fester until it ruins us. So promise me, Clara," he urged sternly. "Promise me you'll always tell me what you're feeling, no matter what. And I promise I'll only ever be honest with you in return."
I shook my head. Or tried to. He still had a pretty tight hold on me.
"You have no idea what you're asking for. It'd be exhausting if I never bit my tongue. I feel a lot. And often. And sometimes I don't even know why or where the feelings come from so I don't even know how to communicate them."
"Just try." His tone left no room for argument, but his eyes were soft. "I don't know what I'm doing either. We'll figure it out together, okay?"
"It hurts," I admitted, my voice cracking.
His hands softened, his thumb wiping away an errant tear.
"Tell me," he ordered gently.
"Picturing you naked with other women... Knowing they've had their hands, their mouths on you... That you've touched them, worshipped them, derived pleasure from them..."
The dam broke and the tears gushed. Liam pulled me in close, wrapping his arms around me. His cheek pressed to the crown of my head, he rocked me quietly while I cried. When the torrent slowed, he pulled back to look at me again.
"I'm sorry."
I opened my mouth to cut off his apology, but he beat me to it.
"No, don't tell me not to apologize. I am sorry. Because if I had to picture you with other men it'd make me fucking crazy. Violent. Murderous. So I can only imagine what you're going through."
Snot trickled out of my nose. Super attractive. Since I didn't have a tissue and didn't want to jump out of bed and run Daffy Duck style to the bathroom, I used my sleeve. Because what humiliation is complete without a snot covered shirt in the mix, right?
Liam didn't seem to mind. So there's that.
"I'm not going to tell you to not think about it. I'm n
ot going to get mad at you for bringing it up. Any time it bothers you, tell me. And I'll remind you why it doesn't matter. Why none of them mattered. How I was just killing time until I found the right one. How they were placeholders for the only woman who would ever have more than just my body. Not a single one of those women have any piece of me, Clara. I gave them nothing. And I don't give them any thought now. I only have eyes for one woman. And she not only owns a piece of me, she owns all of me."
Things sort of escalated from there.
Meaning I threw myself at him. Literally. Launched my body into him so hard he fell onto his back. Then without hesitation, I climbed on top of him. My fingers grabbed my shirt, ripping it over my head like a madwoman. In the next breath, my bra was gone.
No man had ever seen my naked breasts. There was no time to get all self-conscious, though. Not when I'd fused my mouth to his while shamelessly grinding myself on his dick. Which, while we'd talked, had started to soften, but quickly shot back up to full mast.
Liam groaned, his hands going to my shoulders and forcing me to break the kiss.
"Clara, wait," he pleaded. Our breaths were ragged and I knew how wild I must have looked. Every fear I'd ever had about losing my virginity vanished. Poof, gone. I wanted him. Bad.
"No. No waiting. I've waited twenty-four years. I'm done waiting."
Before he could protest, I lifted my ass and impaled myself on his dick. I was plenty wet, so he slid in easily, despite having to tear through my hymen. There was a slight burn as he stretched me, but all I could feel was relief. Sweet, glorious relief.
"You're inside me," I stated obviously.
Liam's face was pinched, his eyes squeezed shut.
"Liam? Are you okay?"
Suddenly worried I'd done something wrong or I was hurting him, I tried to climb off, but his hands stayed me, gripping my hips so hard I'd probably have bruises.
"Don't. Move," he gritted out. I froze, feeling a little stupid for being so brazen. What the hell was I thinking? I had no clue what I was doing. Yeah, I'd watched hour’s worth of porn and instructional videos and researched the hell out of sex, but there had to be important details I was missing. Why else would Liam look so miserable?