by Kat Addams
“So, you admit, you and Aiden are more than friends now?” I raised my brows.
“What? No! I just always wanted to learn to salsa, and he offered to go too. Said he needed to get out of the house and do more than hit the bars. We’ve only been twice, but it’s fun. Y’all should go. Just saying.” Layla untied her apron and hung it on the hook.
“I’ve got time. A lot of time. But Earl isn’t going to let up until we expand. I just don’t know how that could happen. I’ll get with Layla this week, and we can get some ideas going and run it past you two.” I nodded toward Rox and Nikki.
“Really?” Layla’s jaw dropped open. “You want to meet with me? Who is this creature, and what did you do with my beloved, foul-mouthed Betty?” She made the sign of the cross.
“Keep teasing, and she’ll put a foot in your ass, reminding you just who you’re talking to,” I clapped back. “Besides, I’m turning over a new leaf. Trying to embrace positive energy and change my attitude a bit.”
My besties dropped what they had been doing and stared at me. I’d quietly contemplated how to tell them and ask them for their help. I’d never had a serious relationship, and with Terrance, I wanted to give it a shot. I didn’t want to run him off. Sure, I’d had my heart broken before, but I’d never let myself open up enough to give back love or even accept it. The whole concept of mushy feelings was foreign bullshit to me. But I’d watched Rox and Jay, and I’d seen Weston and Nikki, and whether Layla wanted to admit her love for Aiden, I’d seen that too. They were all beginning something I wanted, and I would soon be left behind—the single old lady.
“I knew it!” Layla smacked her palm on the edge of the counter before pulling it back and wincing. “You’re in love!”
Rox’s eyes locked on mine. “Proud of you, babe. So, you’ve decided to take on the dad and kid after all?”
I had yet to tell any of them about my outing with Maisy and Terrance. Sometimes, instead of talking out my issues like a normal, stable person, I’d sit on them and think. I’d tell myself that, eventually, I would open up for advice, but usually, I never did. Instead, I kept that all inside. But new Betty spilled the beans. I told them about the pervy monkeys, the trampoline fiasco, the ice-cream incident, and the way I felt about all of it, which was … different. Warm, fuzzy, and not myself. But in a good way.
By the time I finished telling them, Layla had ruined her mascara from crying, Rox was beaming with her golden smile, and Nikki was clutching her crystal, whispering something that sounded like a protective spell.
“So, now, he wants to meet for a quickie after work.” I crossed my arms, ending my story.
“Why the hell are you still here then?” Layla threw her arms in the air. “Go! Love him!”
“Yeah, why are you still here?” Nikki eyed me.
“Stalling. Classic Betty. Not new Betty. Stop stalling. Go fuck your man. Y-O-U-R man. Because, you know, you got him now. It sounds to me like you’re both in this, and you need to have that conversation tonight to see that you’re on the same page. If not, one of you will get hurt.” Rox tipped her chin at me. “That would be you.”
“Don’t ruin the rose-colored glasses she’s wearing! Let her feel all of it! Even if it might hurt.” Layla shrugged her shoulders and avoided my gaze.
“Why are you two saying I might get hurt? Do you know something I don’t?” I glanced at all three of them, sticking my hip out for emphasis, preparing myself for a boob drop.
“Take this. It’s black tourmaline. We only want to protect you.” Nikki pulled a pouch out from her back pocket, fished around for a tiny pebble, and pushed it into my palm.
“Black tourmaline? Are you giving me a black crystal because I’m Black? Black-girl magic? Is this because I’m dating a White man?” My body stiffened.
“Well, we can all agree that the old Betty is still in there. And she’d damn well better be. Black tourmaline is for protection, you twit. It also acts as a positive force for good in your life. We all want the best for you.”
“And if that doesn’t work, you got a voodoo doll I can have too, right?” I tossed my hair and performed the boob drop.
“Of course,” Nikki said. Her eyes sparkled.
“And I know a man.” Layla snapped her fingers in the air, bobbing her head.
“And I’m screwing his boss, so …” Rox crossed her arms.
“DTF,” I sighed as they pulled me in for a group hug.
“DTF!” they murmured back.
I washed up when I arrived home, texting Terrance that I would be ready a little late. I needed ample time to get myself together. And by get myself together, I meant, I needed to make sure I shaved my chocha, prepped my dungeon, and calmed my nerves with a cocktail of my own making. I had no idea what I was doing, mixing drinks, but I went with it. I named my new cocktail the Black Tourmaline. It was much like an old-fashioned with a twist of blackberry instead of orange.
I rolled the crystal pebble around in my hand before stuffing it into a tiny pouch that clipped into my bra. I wasn’t one to dabble in hocus-pocus, but for Terrance and this hot, melty feeling, I’d try. I made two drinks and set the record player on a smooth jazz record handed down to me by my aunt May.
I propped my feet up on the coffee table, leaning back and sipping my cocktail, thinking of how Aunt May was right. She had seen this coming from a mile away. Who could resist Terrance and his chiseled, scruffy jaw or his rock-hard six-pack abs or his sweet-ass dance moves? The way he gyrated those hips on the dance floor was the same way he moved them in bed. He gave me a pounding that even I wasn’t used to—and I had done some wild shit.
I heard the knock on my door and threw back my drink, finishing it faster than I would have liked, but they didn’t call it liquid courage for nothing. I sauntered over toward the door in my sexiest sashay before realizing I looked dumb as hell and needed to check myself. I needed to be myself—or at least new Betty with a mixture of the old Betty. Not this cuddly teddy bear I was quickly becoming. That was dangerous. I had to have boundaries. I was still me even if I felt all the things, like this new beginning I was embarking on. I turned the knob on the front door and took a deep breath.
I got this ish.
I did not have this ish.
“Hey you!” My voice came out about eight decibels too high.
“Hey …” Terrance tilted his head, probably gauging how much I’d had to drink.
“Come in. Sit. I made a special cocktail.” I sauntered over to the wet bar beside the record player. Some jazz singer I didn’t know droned on and on in a soft, sultry voice.
“Oh? Tell me about it.” He followed me to the record player, putting his arms around my waist and leaning into my neck. He brushed my hair to the side, planting a kiss at the nape of my neck before breathing me in one long, deep inhale.
That was when things became fuzzy.
“It’s strong. Like me,” I breathed out the words, standing there like an idiot, holding his drink, but not turning back around. I didn’t want to. I wanted to stand here forever and let him smooch on my neck some more. It curled my toes, gave me those damn butterflies, and soaked my panties. I wanted him to make me his. This was so not me. I blamed the black tourmaline.
He reached around me, taking the drink from my hand and turning my body to his. He took a slow sip, wetting his lips and closing his eyes. “Mmm.”
He leaned down, brushing his mouth against mine. The alcohol tingled against my lips.
I breathed into his mouth, closing my eyes and swaying. Surely, this was the alcohol making me goofy as hell. Not this feelings shit.
He set his drink back down, took my hand in his, and danced with me. His arms circled my waist, arching my back until I met his gaze while he swung his hips with mine, clutching me tight enough that I felt his cock thicken against me. The jazz artist sang louder, my heart beat faster, and my brain left the building.
So, this is love, I thought, letting myself fall.
“You’re i
ncredible. So damn amazing. You check all the boxes. You passed the test.” He leaned down, kissing my forehead.
I thought I’d heard him right, but I wasn’t quite sure.
“What was that?” I looked up at him, pulling my brows together in what I hoped looked innocently curious. Instead, my tipsy ass probably looked like I was fighting back an ass-whooping. Which, in hindsight, I was. My body subconsciously knew it—or at least the black tourmaline crystal did.
“I said, you passed all the test. You’re amazing.” He kissed my forehead again.
“Hold up.” I stopped dancing, pushing him away so that I could look at his face. “What do you mean, test?”
His eyes darted around the room, avoiding mine. The jazz singer droned on and on, but this time, her song no longer sounded sultry. She sounded mad. I felt my ears burn hot.
“I mean that I wanted to make sure you could handle Maisy. And me. I needed to know so that I could move on. With you!”
He reached for my shoulder, but I dodged him with those ninja moves I’d learned during his test.
“You’re telling me, you set me up?”
“Well, that’s not the right way to put it. I didn’t set you up. I just wanted to make sure, for Maisy’s sake and mine, that you were the right one. And you were. Are. I …” He backed up, running his hand through his hair. His face had turned white, and his shoulders sank into his chest.
He cowered, and I grew taller. My nostrils flared, my back straightened, and I pulled myself up to my full height.
Nope, that wasn’t love. Nope. False alarm.
“You set me up. You purposely tried to give me a rough time to see how I would react with your child. What, you didn’t trust me? Didn’t think to ask me? Couldn’t you have just voiced your concerns like a normal human being? It’s because I told her to kick that kid in the nuts, isn’t it?”
“No. Not at all. Besides, you said quaffle balls! That … that’s not it.” His voice came out sounding like I’d kicked him in the quaffle balls, and by some small miracle, I hadn’t.
Maybe he had a black tourmaline tucked in his drawers too.
“Then, what is it?”
“I had to make sure you were right.”
“You mean, good enough?” I walked over to the record player and turned it off. I picked up his drink and drank it all in one big gulp. “Because that’s what it sounds like to me. You wanted to send me through some asshole game, a test, throwing all sorts of obstacles against me to check if I was good enough. You couldn’t just talk to me about your concerns and let me spend time with Maisy. Normal time with her. You did all that craziness on purpose? Hyping her up with sugar, the trampolines, showing me all her energy—you did that on purpose.” I set the glass back down and walked to the front door, opening it.
“I guess I did. I didn’t see it that way. Shit. I’m sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“I think you need to go. I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m not one to play games. I also don’t tolerate bullshit. I thought, by now, you knew that. But it looks like you’ve got a lot to learn from your Queen B. She doesn’t bow to anyone like that. You almost got me.” I bit my lip hard, fighting back the tears that I’d sworn I’d never let anyone see. Not even Rox had seen me cry. “You almost fucking got me.”
“I’m such an idiot. I fucked up so bad,” he mumbled, walking through the doorway and pausing.
“Yep,” I said, shutting the door in his face.
I couldn’t look at him any longer, or he’d see just what he had done to me. Instead, I crumbled to the floor and waited until I heard him pull out of my driveway. When he left, I let myself cry.
Twelve
Terrance
I drove home with my tail between my legs. One moment, I had been on cloud nine, preparing to tell Betty I loved her, and the next, she had kicked me in the quaffle balls. I’d never thought of my test as an asshole move until I’d actually stopped to think about it. She was right. That was dickish of me. And for me to make her feel like she wasn’t enough was the ultimate blow for her. I knew that from listening to her talk about her past.
I groaned, gripping my steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. I’d fucked up big time. I’d ruined something that I’d not felt in forever. Not since Jane had left anyway. I was terrified of losing Betty—or even worse, of Maisy losing Betty. And my dumbass had pushed her away. I’d sent her packing with my stupid game.
I made it home with my brain on autopilot. Maisy and my dad were both fast asleep on the couch. A child’s movie was playing in the background.
The next few nights, I’d have to work at the club. But I had planned on asking Jay for another day off while Maisy was on break. I wanted to spend one-on-one quality time with her without all the sugar and mischief.
I missed her during my long shifts, but the money was flowing in, and soon enough, I’d have a regularly scheduled job with better working hours. With Jay’s talk of expansion, if I couldn’t open my own bar, maybe I could take command of the new restaurant. Either way, I needed more time with my daughter. And now, with me having to break the news of Betty possibly not seeing her again, she would really need me.
I leaned down, scooping her off the couch and cradling her like I had all those years ago when she was just a baby in my hands.
“She’s so grown, yet she’s not, isn’t she?” my dad whispered, sitting up on the couch.
“Still my baby,” I whispered back, holding Maisy tight while subconsciously rocking her like I had on those long nights when she was a newborn.
“And she will be walking down the aisle before too long too. Right when you blink.” He smiled.
“Shh! Don’t say that!” I said, looking down at my sleeping beauty and realizing she would one day be a grown woman and move away.
“That’s why you need to cherish these moments. And make more of them. Also, she needs to see what a healthy relationship looks like. How’s Betty?” He pulled a cover on top of him and sat back.
“I know; I know. I’m going to request another day off this week. Sit down and get my shit together. I’ll have a little more time on my hands. Betty let me go.”
Maisy stirred at my voice.
“Let me put her in bed. I’ll be right back,” I whispered to my dad, tiptoeing up the stairs and tucking Maisy into bed.
She let out a little snore, rolled over, and fell back asleep. I flipped on a night-light and stood in the doorway for a minute, watching her. I could be a stripper or a mixologist or a royal fuckup, but nothing defined me more than being a dad. For Maisy, I’d do anything.
I dragged myself back down the stairs, preparing for an attack. I’d finally found a good woman, and I’d ruined it. My dad would no doubt let me know the test had been a dumb idea.
“You can’t tell Maisy,” he blurted as soon as I rounded the corner.
“What? Why? I’m going to have to tell her sometime. I won’t tell her details, but I’ll have to let her know we won’t be seeing Miss Betty.” I plopped myself on the other side of the couch and stared back at my future self.
People had always told my dad and me that we looked alike. It was a sad coincidence that the mother of our children had abandoned us. And if I kept up my bullshit, I’d forever be alone, just like him.
My dad leaned forward, grabbing a stack of papers with a card on top, and tossed the card at me.
“What’s this?” I opened it up, pulling out a thank-you card, handwritten by Maisy in her favorite color crayon—yellow, for sunshine.
“She made it for Betty. She talked nonstop about Betty. Betty this and Betty that. She wanted to thank her for teaching her to be brave on the zip line,” he said.
I opened the card up, noticing the quaffle balls drawn inside along with hearts, a dog, and three stick figures—me, Maisy, and Betty.
“Crap,” I said, stuffing the card back in the envelope.
“Yeah. So, don’t tell her. At least, don’t tell her yet. It’ll break
that little girl’s heart. Besides, what did you do to run Betty off like that?”
I sighed, fidgeted with the card, and told my dad the whole story of my dumbass test. His eyebrows shot up, and his head nodded. He winced and cringed a few times, but he never said a word. He only rose from his spot on the couch and came over, patting my head like I was ten. Then, he told me to get some sleep.
“That’s it? No fatherly advice?” I asked, confused.
Surely, the man who had been urging me to find a woman for both myself and Maisy would have something constructive to add to my predicament.
“I don’t need to offer you any advice. You know what to do already. And if you don’t have the quaffle balls to do it yourself, do it for Maisy. Course, you need to let Betty cool down for a few days. But that’s it. No longer. Don’t let her think she doesn’t mean anything.”
“She does. I love her.” My voice shook.
It was well past midnight, but I was too upset to be tired. I wouldn’t be able to rest until I explained myself to Betty.
“I know. That’s why you’re going to get her back.”
“But how?”
“You’ll figure it out. Just don’t wait too long. A beautiful woman like her will get snatched up fast!” My dad shuffled his feet out of the room and went to bed.
I stayed, curled up on the couch, contemplating my next move until I finally ended up dozing off into a restless slumber.
The next few days flew by in a blur. I’d worked for Scarlett Herb and finished a few shifts at The Steamy Clam, but losing Betty had brought my entire life into a significant reevaluation. All I ever did was work. Sure, I saved money for one day. But I wasn’t living in the moment. And even though I didn’t run away like Jane, I still missed out on moments with Maisy that I’d never get back. Not to mention, I’d lost myself. I spent my life as a mixologist and a stripper. That was it. I didn’t even know who Terrance was anymore.