A Preposterous Portfolio of Parodies: Free Selections from Spoofs of The Hobbit, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Star Trek and More
Page 15
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“Henry, Cereals’ dying! We’ve got to save him,” Horrendous screeched. Again. Very much so. Ahead, they could see Cereals wasn’t entirely dead yet.
“Isn’t he evil?” Really asked. “Wait, didn’t I just ask that?”
“Back here again!” Horrendous moaned. “At least I’m getting credit for all my appearances.”
“Can we rescue him this time?” Really asked. He felt more confused than usual.
“Sure,” Henry said. “And we’re hours ahead of schedule. You guys need to get Cereals onto the hippogriff and check him into a nice hotel, maybe with one of those fake-nose-and-mustache disguises. Then while the past us is running in circles saving ourselves and hanging out with science fiction geeks, we just need to wait it out.”
“And make sure the Demeanies don’t eat your former self. That would be bad,” Horrendous concluded in the understatement of the century. “I’ll handle the hotel.”
“Great. I’ll just grab some demeanie-fighting gear, and Really and I—”
“Have to settle in my new hamster,” Really objected hastily.
“Brilliant. More glory for me. I’ll face the Demeanies, even though they’re my worst fear.”
“I thought your worst fear was spoilers,” said Horrendous.
“Or one of those twenty-year-later sequels with the crystal skull aliens and a plot that makes no sense.”
Henry shuddered. “Y’know, you guys aren’t helping. Still, there’s only one way to save the Wizarding World from all those horrible things. Now circle low and grab Cereals while I stride into certain death.”