Pippi Goes on Board

by Astrid Lindgren

here?"

  A large table had been set in Ulla's garden. There were so many

  buns and cakes on it that they made the children's mouths water, and

  they all hurried to find places at the table. Pippi sat down at one

  end. The first thing she did was to snatch two buns and cram them

  into her mouth. She looked like a cherub with her puffed-out

  cheeks.

  "Pippi, it is customary to wait until one is invited to have

  something," said Teacher reproachfully.

  "Oh, you don't need to shtand on sheremony on my account," said

  Pippi with her mouth full. "I don't mind if everything is

  informal."

  Just then Ulla's mother came up to Pippi. She had a pitcher of

  fruit punch in one hand and a pot of chocolate in the other. "Punch

  or chocolate?" she asked.

  "Punch and chocolate," said Pippi. "I'll send punchafter one bun

  and chocolate after the other." Withoutwaiting to be urged, she took

  from Ulla's mother boththe punch pitcher and the chocolate pot and

  drank a deep draught from each.

  "She has been at sea all her life," Teacher explained in a whisper

  to Ulla's mother, who, looked much astonished.

  "Oh, I see." She nodded and decided to pay no attention to Pippi's

  bad manners. "Will you have molasses cookies?" she asked and passed

  the plate of them to Pippi.

  "Well, it looks as if I would," said Pippi, giggling happily at

  her own joke. "To be sure, you didn't have very good luck cutting

  them out, but I hope they'll taste good anyway," she continued,

  taking a handful.

  Suddenly she noticed some pretty pink cakes a little way down on

  the table. She pulled Mr. Nilsson lightly by the tail. "Look, Mr.

  Nilsson, skip over and get me one of those pink thingamajigs. You

  might as well take two or three while you're about it."

  And Mr. Nilsson dashed away, right across the table so that the

  punch glasses splashed over.

  "I hope you have had enough?" asked Ulla's mother when Pippi came

  up to say thank you after the party.

  "No, I haven't. I'm thirsty," said Pippi, scratching her ear.

  "Well, we didn't have so very much to treat you-on," said Ulla's

  mother.

  "No, but at least you had something," said Pippi pleasantly.

  After this, Teacher decided to have a little talk with Pippi about

  her behavior. "Listen, little Pippi," she said in a friendly voice,

  "you want to be a really fine lady when you grow up, don't you?"

  "You mean the kind with a veil on her nose and three double chins

  under it?" asked Pippi.

  "I mean a lady who always knows how to behave and is always polite

  and well bred. You want to be that kind of lady, don't you?"

  "It's worth thinking about," said Pippi, "but you see, Teacher, I

  had just about decided to be a pirate when I grow up." She thought a

  while. "But don't you think, Teacher, one could be a pirate and a

  really fine lady too? Because then-"

  Teacher didn't think one could.

  "Oh, dear, oh, dear, which one shall I decide on?" said Pippi

  unhappily.

  Teacher said that whatever Pippi decided to do when she grew up,

  it would not hurt her to learn how to be have-because Pippi's

  behavior at the table was really impossible.

  "To think it should be so hard to know how to behave." Pippi

  sighed. "Can't you tell me the most important rules?"

  Teacher did the best she could, and Pippi listened attentively.

  One mustn't help oneself until one was invited; one mustn't take more

  than one cake at a time; one mustn't eat with a knife; one musn't

  scratch oneself while talking with other people; one mustn't do this

  and one mustn't do that.

  Pippi nodded thoughtfully. "I'll get up an hour earlier every

  morning and practice," she said, "so I'll get the hang of it in case

  I decide not to be a pirate."

  Now Teacher said it was time to go home. All the children stood in

  line except Pippi. She sat still on the lawn with a tense face, as if

  she were listening to something.

  "What's the matter, little Pippi?" asked Teacher.

  "Teacher," said Pippi, "does a really fine lady's stomach ever

  rumble?"

  She sat quiet, still listening.

  "Because if it doesn't," she said at last, "I might just as well

  decide to be a pirate."

  5.

  Pippi Goes to the Fair

  ONCE every year a fair was held in the little town, and all the

  children were simply wild with joy that anything so nice could

  happen. The town looked quite different on Fair Day. There were big

  crowds in the streets; flags were flying; and in the marketplace were

  booths where you could buy the most wonderful things. There was so

  much commotion that it was exciting just to walk in the streets. Best

  of all, down by the city gate there was a carnival with a

  merry-go-round and shooting galleries and a tent show and all kinds

  of other jolly things. And there was a menagerie-a menagerie with all

  sorts of wild animals, tigers and giant snakes and monkeys and

  trained seals! You could stand outside the menagerie and hear the

  strangest growling and roaring you ever heard in all your life, and

  if you had money you could, of course, go in and see everything

  too.

  No wonder that even the bow in Annika's hair trembled with

  excitement when she had finished dressing the morning of the fair. Or

  that Tommy swallowed his cheese sandwich almost whole. Tommy's and

  Annika's mother asked them if they didn't want to go to the fair with

  her, but they squirmed and wiggled and said if she didn't mind, they

  would rather go with Pippi.

  "For you see," explained Tommy to Annika as they ran through the

  garden gate at Villa Villekulla, "I think more funny things will

  happen where Pippi is."

  Annika thought so too.

  Pippi was all dressed up and standing right in the middle of the

  kitchen floor, waiting for them. She had at last found her big

  cart-wheel hat in the woodshed.

  "I forgot that I used it to carry wood in the other day," she

  said, and pulled the hat down over her eyes. "Don't I look nice?"

  Tommy and Annika had to admit that she did. She had blackened her

  eyebrows with a piece of charcoal and had painted her lips and her

  nails red, and then she had put on a very fine evening dress that

  reached to the floor. It was cut low in the back and showed her red

  flannel underwear. Her big black shoes stuck out from under her

  skirt, and they were even finer than usual, for she had tied on them

  the big green rosettes she wore only on special occasions.

  "I think one should look like a really fine lady when one goes to

  the fair," she said, and she tripped down the road as daintily as was

  possible in such big shoes. She lifted up the edge of her skirt and,

  holding it away from her, said in a voice that didn't sound at all

  like hier own, "Chawming, chawming."

  "What is it that's so charming?" asked Tommy. "Me!" said Pippi

  happily.

  Tommy and Annika thought that everythiing was charming when there

  was a fair in town. It was charming to mi
ngle with the crowd and to

  go from one booth to another on the square and look at all the things

  displayed there. Pippi bought a red silk scarf for' Annika as a

  souvenir of the fair, and for Tommy a visor cap which he had always

  longed for but which his mother didn't want him to have. In another

  booth Pippi bought two glass bells filled with pink and white

  candies.

  "Oh, how kind you are, Pippi!" said Annika, hugging her bell.

  "Oh, yes, chawming," said Pippi. "Chawming," she said, lifting her

  skirt gracefully.

  A stream of people moved slowly down the street from the square to

  the carnival. Pippi, Tommy, and Annika went along.

  "Gee, isn't this great!" said Tommy. The organ-grinder played, the

  merry-go-round went round and round, the people laughed joyously. The

  dart-throwing and china-breaking were in full swing. People crowded

  around the shooting galleries to show their skill.

  "I'd like to look a little closer at that," said Pippi and pulled

  Tommy and Annika with her to a shooting gallery.

  Just then there was no one at that particular gallery, and the

  lady who was supposed to be handing out guns and taking in money was

  cross. She didn't think three children would make very good

  customers, and so she paid no attention to them. Pippi looked at the

  target with great interest. It was a cardboard man with a round face,

  dressed in a blue coat. Right in the middle of his face was a red

  nose, which you were supposed to hit. If you couldn't hit his nose,

  you should at least come close to it. Shots that didn't hit his face

  weren't counted.

  It annoyed the lady to see the children standing there. She wanted

  customers who could both shoot and pay.

  "Are you still hanging around here?" she said angrily.

  "No," said Pippi seriously, "we're sitting in the middle of the

  square cracking nuts."

  "What are you glaring at?" asked the lady, still more angrily.

  "Are you waiting for someone to come and shoot?"

  "No," said Pippi, "we're waiting for you to start turning

  somersaults."

  Just then a customer came up, a very fine gentleman with a big

  chain over his stomach. He took a gun and weighed it in his hand.

  "I think I'll take a few shots just to show how it's done," he said.

  He looked around to see if he had any audience, but there was no

  one except Pippi, Tommy, and Annika.

  "Look here, children," he said. "Watch me and I'll give you your

  first lesson in the art of shooting."

  He lifted the gun to his cheek. The first shot was way off, the

  second shot also; the third and fourth, still farther from the nose.

  The fifth shot hit the cardboard man on the bottom of his chin.

  "The gun's no good!" said the fine gentleman and threw it down.

  Pippi picked it up and loaded it. "My, how well you shoot!" she

  said. "Another time I'll shoot just as you taught us, and not like

  this."

  Pang, pang, pang, pang, pang! Five shots had hit the cardboard man

  right in the middle of his nose. Pippi gave the lady a gold coin and

  walked off.

  The merry-go-round was so marvelous that Tommy and Annika held

  their breath in awe when they saw it. There were black and white and

  brown wooden horses to ride on. They had real manes and tails and

  looked almost alive. They also had saddles and reins. You could

  choose any horse you wanted. Pippi bought a whole gold coin's worth

  of tickets. She got so many there was hardly room for them in her big

  purse.

  "If I had given them another gold coin, I think I would have got

  the whole whirling thingamajig," she said to Tommy and Annika, who

  stood waiting for her.

  Tommy decided on a black horse, and Annika took a white one. Pippi

  placed Mr. Nilsson on a black horse that looked very wild. Mr.

  Nilsson immediately began to scratch the horse's mane to see if it

  had fleas.

  "Is Mr. Nilsson going to ride the merry-go-round too?" asked

  Annika, surprised.

  "Of course," said Pippi. "If I'd thought about it I would have

  brought my horse too. He really needed a bit of entertainment, and a

  horse who rides on a horse-that would have been really horsy."

  Pippi threw herself into the saddle of a brown horse, and the next

  second the merry-go-round started, and the music played "Do you

  remember our childhood days, with all their jolly fun?"

  Tommy and Annika thought it was wonderful to ride the

  merry-go-round, and Pippi looked as though she were enjoying herself

  too. She stood on her head on her horse with her legs straight up in

  the air. Her long evening dress fell down around her neck. The people

  who were watching saw only a red flannel shirt and a pair of green

  pants, and Pippi's long, thin legs with one black and one brown

  stocking, and her large black shoes playfully waving back and

  forth.

  "That's the way a really fine lady rides the merry-go-round!"

  exclaimed Pippi at the end of the first ride.

  The children rode the merry-go-round a whole hour, but at last

  Pippi was dizzy and said that she saw three merry-go-rounds instead

  of one.

  "It's so hard to decide which one to ride on," she said, "so I

  think we'll go some other place."

  She had a whole lot of tickets left, and these she gave to some

  little children who hadn't ridden at all because they didn't have any

  money for tickets.

  Outside a tent nearby, a man was shouting, "New show starts in

  five minutes. Don't miss this wonderful opportunity to see 'The

  Murder of the Countess Aurora or 'Who's Sneaking around in the

  Bushes?' Right this way, folks, right this way for the big show!"

  "If there's someone sneaking around in the bushes we'll have to go

  in and find out who it is, and that immediately!" said Pippi to Tommy

  and Annika. "Come on, let's go in!"

  She walked up to the ticket window. "Can't I go in for half price

  if I promise to look with just one eye?" she asked with a sudden

  attack of economy.

  But the ticket seller wouldn't hear of anything like that.

  "I don't seo any bushes, and no one to sneak around in them

  either," said Pippi disgustedly when she and Tommy and Annika had

  seated themselves on the front bench.

  "It hasn't started yet," said Tommy.

  Just then the curtain went up, and the Countess Aurora was seen

  walking back and forth on the stage. She wrung her hands and looked

  worried. Pippi followed every move with breathless interest.

  "She must feel sad," she said to Tommy and Annika, "or maybe she

  has a safety pin that is sticking her some place."

  Countess Aurora was feeling sad. She raised her eyes to the

  ceiling and said in a plaintive voice, "Is there anyone as unhappy as

  I? My children taken away from me, my husband disappeared, and I

  myself surrounded by villains and bandits who want to kill me."

  "Oh, how terrible it is to hear this," said Pippi, whose eyes were

  getting red.

  "I wish I were dead already," said the Countess Aurora.

  Pippi burst out crying. "Please don't talk like
that!" She

  sniffled. "Things will be brighter for you. The children will find

  their way home, and you can always get another husband. There are so

  many �me-e-en," she gasped between her sobs.

  The manager of the show-the one who had stood outside-came up to

  Pippi and told her that if she didn't keep absolutely quiet she would

  have to leave the theater at once.

  "I'll try," said Pippi, wiping her eyes.

  The play was terribly exciting. Tommy sat through it all twisting

  and turning his cap from sheer nervousness. Annika held her hands

  tightly clasped in her lap. Pippi's bright eyes didn't leave Countess

  Aurora a minute.

  Things were growing worse and worse for the poor countess. She

  walked in the palace garden, suspecting nothing. Suddenly there was a

  loud cry. It was Pippi. She had seen a man hiding behind a tree, and

  he didn't look like a kind man.

  Countess Aurora must have heard something rustling, for she said

  in a frightened voice, "Who's sneaking around in the bushes?"

  "I can tell you!" said Pippi excitedly. "It's a horrible man with

  a black mustache. Run into the woodshed and lock the door

  quickly!"

  The manager came up to Pippi and said she would have to leave at

  once.

  "And leave the Countess Aurora alone with that horrid man! You

  don't know me, mister," answered Pippi.

  On the stage the play went on. Suddenly the "horrid man" sprang

  from the bushes and threw himself at the Countess Aurora.

  "Ha! Your last hour has come," he hissed.

  "Oh, it has, has it?" cried Pippi. "We'll see about that!" And

  with one jump she was on the stage. Grabbing the villain around the

  waist, she threw him across the footlights onto the floor of the

  auditorium. She was still crying.

  "How can you?" she sobbed. "What have you against the countess

  anyway? Remember that her children and her husband have left her and

  she's all aloo-one."

  She went up to the countess, who had sunk down on the garden seat,

  completely exhausted.

  "You can come and live with me in Villa Villekulla if you want

  to," Pippi said comfortingly.

  Sobbing loudly, Pippi stumbled out of the theater, followed by

  Tommy and Annika-and the manager. He shook his fist after Pippi, but

  the people in the audience clapped their hands and thought she had

  given a good show.

  Outside, Pippi blew her nose and, quickly regaining her composure,

  said, "Come, we'll have to cheer up. This was too sad."

  "The menagerie," said Tommy. "We haven't been to the

  menagerie."

  On their way to the menagerie they stopped at a sandwich stand,

  and Pippi bought six sandwiches for each of them and three big

  bottles of soda pop.

  "Crying always makes me so hungry," explained Pippi.

  There were many things to see inside the menagerie -an elephant

  and two tigers in a cage, and several large trained seals that were

  throwing a ball to one another, and a whole lot of monkeys and a

  hyena and two giant snakes. Pippi took Mr. Nilsson over to the monkey

  cage so that he could speak to his relatives. An old chimpanzee sat

  there, looking very sad.

  "Come on, Mr. Nilsson," said Pippi, "speak up nicely now. I

  imagine this is your grandfather's cousin's aunt's mother-in-law's

  nephew."

  Mr. Nilsson doffed his straw hat and spoke as politely as he knew

  how, but the chimpanzee didn't bother to answer.

  The two giant snakes lay in a big box. Every hour the beautiful

  snake charmer, Mademoiselle Paula, took them from their box and did

  an act with them on the stage. The children were lucky, for they came

  in just in time for the performance. Annika was so afraid of snakes

  that she held tightly to Pippi's arm.