by Lauren Smith
“Like the Nat King Cole song.”
“Exactly.” Alec turned the oven on. “You want the oven to be 200°C or 400°F for the Americans in the room.” He set out a roasting tray and started cutting a slit into each chestnut. He placed the nuts flat side down on the tray, then slid the tray into the oven.
“You should cook them for approximately thirty minutes, or until you see the skin crack farther apart. Once it’s done you allow them to cool, then peel away the shell to reveal the brown membrane. Then you can eat them.”
He closed the oven door and set the timer.
“So, we have thirty minutes. Whatever shall we do?” Brie asked, letting her gaze wander along his body. It made him hard all over, but he had to resist. With a concussion, rest was crucial, and he wasn’t about to be selfish. But he knew she was hoping for a distraction, so he came up with a way to do just that.
“I could show you my non-racecar sheets,” Alec offered a low seductive tone. Her eyes sparkled with excitement.
“That sounds like a great idea,” Brie replied, her voice slightly breathless.
Alec told the cooks to watch the oven time for them and held out his hand. Brie placed her palm in his. He felt like a boy with his first crush.
They stopped in front of his room a minute later and a flutter of nerves filled his chest. He opened the door and glanced around, wondering what she would think of it. She walked in ahead of him and paused by the large windows overlooking the forest beyond. Alec joined her, curling an arm around her waist.
“In the spring I see the fallow deer in the clearing below. The little fawns stumble about all knock-kneed. It’s so bloody cute.”
Brie’s lips curved in a dreamy smile. “The life you have here is special. I hope you realize that, Alec. All of this is a gift.”
He knew she was right, but right now she felt like the real gift.
She turned back to his bed and ran exploring fingertips over the medieval style headboard of his four poster. Lions, unicorns, and heraldry shields were intricately embedded and painted with a master’s touch. The dark crimson coverlet glowed with hints of gold from the light of the early evening sun.
“So, show me those non-racecar sheets,” Brie teased.
Alec pulled back the covers to expose pale gold sheets instead. He sensed weariness in her eyes. His real goal in getting her here had been to get her to rest. He had no plans for anything more until she was better, but she didn’t have to know that.
“Lie down on your stomach. I’ll give you a massage,” he offered.
“Okay.” She blushed before she removed her brown ankle boots and climbed into the bed. Something inside him puffed with pride at seeing her in his bed.
He knelt beside her and began to massage her neck and shoulders. The soft sounds of pleasure that came from her made him grin, but within minutes she was asleep, just as he’d planned. He settled next to her and pulled her into the curve of his body as he let himself relax. Soon, he, too, started to drift off.
Movement caught his attention as a falcon landed on the balcony outside his window. It’s brown and cream-colored feathers ruffled as the bird of prey relaxed for a brief moment.
That was how Alec felt. This slice of holiday paradise was but a brief moment to catch his breath before he had to face the challenges of the world again.
If only I could stay here with her forever. It would be a much simpler life…
12
Brie stood in her old house in Rhode Island, with dozens of boxes packed and stacked in the living room. Two movers were carrying loads up the ramp into the truck. Everything she’d bought to build her life with Preston was in those boxes or on that moving truck. A life that wasn’t going to continue. Four years and it was all over. He was in New York and she was moving to a small apartment.
She pulled her cell phone out and dialed Preston’s number. He answered after four rings.
“Hey.”.
“Hey,” she echoed softly. Somehow in the last four years they’d become strangers again.
“The stuff should be all packed in a few hours. You sure you don’t want anything?” she asked.
“No, it’s all right. My assistant can furnish my new apartment. It’s cheaper than trying to get the stuff from Rhode Island to Manhattan.”
“Oh right, that makes sense.” Brie’s throat felt like she’d swallowed glass. There was something painful about knowing that Preston didn’t want anything from their once shared life.
“You want any photos?” she asked after a minute.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We both agreed we needed a fresh start.”
Brie had always hated that phrase, “a fresh start.” It made her feel like what they’d before had turned rotten. It hadn’t. It had simply fizzled out like a flame fluttering in the darkness until a final gust of wind snuffed it out.
“So…” She didn’t want to hang up. To end the call meant it was well and truly over.
“So…my assistant mailed you the divorce papers. Sign them when you get the chance, okay?” Preston’s tone was gentle, almost hesitant, as if he sensed what she did.
“Preston, we’re doing the right thing, aren’t we?” She didn’t want to be the one who gave up on their marriage, but she couldn’t see any other way forward for either of them.
“I think so.” Preston sighed in the phone and the sound cut her heart with fresh pain. “We weren’t really happy. We were just…coasting, you know?” She could hear him tap on his desk and pictured the way he leaned back in his chair, drumming his fingers as he talked. She knew so much about him, but that hadn’t been enough. Knowing someone wasn’t the same as loving them.
Brie closed her eyes and leaned against the living room wall. “I guess we were.”
“I wish…” Preston began.
“What?” She opened her eyes and held her breath.
“I wish we had known then what we know now. We were just kids.” Preston’s rueful tone made tears well up in her eyes.
“We were. Kids who thought we knew what love was.”
Love wasn’t flowers and roses. Love was fights late into the night. It was holding one another as you faced a devastating loss. It was a stone wall against a raging sea. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t always full of sunshine and sweet but empty promises. Love was knowing that no matter what, the other person had your back and you had theirs, even through pain and heartache.
“Take care of yourself, Brie.”
“You too.”
Preston hung up. Brie dropped her phone and broke down in silent, body wracking sobs.
The dream, or rather the memory, slowly faded at the edges like an old photograph left too long in the sun. When she was finally free of it, she blinked. Her eyes were thick with tears and her head throbbed. She’d been crying in her sleep.
Then she remembered where she was and who she was with. Alec’s warm breath teased her neck as she lay beside him. At least she hadn’t woken him up. She could only imagine what he’d make of her current state. She carefully slid his arm off her waist and slipped out of the bed. She bent, retrieved her boots, and left the room. She needed some Tylenol and some time to think.
God, had she really been dreaming about Preston? She hadn’t done since they year they separated. Alec was bringing back too many painful memories. Maybe she wasn’t ready for this. She didn’t trust herself to know when what she was feeling was more than just simple attraction. Brie found two Tylenol in her room and ran a glass of water in the bathroom to swallow them before she exited her bedroom.
“Brie?” Bridget called her name from near the stairs.
“Hey.” She smiled at her friend. “You guys back from the fair already?”
“Yep,” Bridget pulled Brie into the light a little more. “How’s your head?”
“Ever the nurse.” Brie laughed. “It hurts a little. I took some Tylenol.”
“Good, that should help, but if the headache doesn’t go away by tomorrow, you need t
o let Simon know, okay?”
“Okay.” Brie sighed. “Did you get any pictures from the fair for me? I’m so upset I missed it.” Julia had described the local fair as the highlight of the Christmas season in the Merryvale area.
“We did. I’ve got tons of pictures. I even took some notes for you.” Bridget handed her a small notebook. It bore the Halston family crest with the gold embossed logo of Merryvale Court. “I bought this at the little gift shop here.”
Brie glanced at the diligent notes. “This is so great. Seriously, thank you, Bridget.”
“You’re welcome. Why don’t you come down and eat some roasted chestnuts with me?”
Brie glanced over her shoulder toward Alec’s room and did her best to bury the dream she’d had of Preston. It was Christmas Eve and she had work to do. She couldn’t think about the past…or about a future with Alec.
Alec woke to a cold, empty bed. He raked a hand through his hair, confused, and stared about his bedroom.
“Brie?” he looked toward the bathroom, but the door was open. She wasn’t in there.
Was she okay? He sat up and threw his covers back hastily before he put his boots on and started toward the door. He reached it just as it swung open and almost hit him in the face.
“There you are,” Morgan said. He was still wearing his coat and seemed to be shifting restlessly.
“What’s the matter with you?” Alec asked his brother. He wasn’t just squirming, something seemed to be moving inside his chest. If it wasn’t for the fact Morgan was laughing, he’s have thought an alien might burst out any moment.
“Alec you owe me big…so big.” Morgan unzipped his heavy coat and pulled a small chocolate colored cocker spaniel pup from his coat. It wriggled and whimpered, its large silky ears as big as it’s adorable little head.
“I can’t bring that back to my London flat,” Alec said flatly. This was another one of Morgan’s bizarre schemes, he just didn’t understand why his little brother was giving him a dog.
“She’s not for you. She’s for Brie.”
“What? Why?” Alec demanded. “Do you have any idea the trouble you’ve caused already with the sled? She has a concussion, Morgan.”
Morgan’s devious expression faded. “I’m sorry about that, Alec. But here’s the thing. I’m not giving her the dog. You are.” He pushed the puppy into Alec’s chest. Alec grabbed the puppy on reflex. It snuggled into his hands and yawned widely. Alec groaned in frustration.
“Morgan…what the bloody hell are you—?”
“Listen. When she first got here, she said she’d never had a dog because her first husband was allergic. It’s clear she adores our dogs.”
“Course she does. Our dogs are wonderful.”
Morgan shook his head. “Only to dog lovers. I’ve brought several girls here over the years. Women who aren’t dog lovers don’t let Yogi climb on their laps. Trust me, that doesn’t go over well with the others.”
“That doesn’t mean Brie wants a dog. She may simply like dogs. And why should I be the one to give it to her?”
Morgan stared at him, unimpressed. “Because you’re shagging her, of course.”
Alec said nothing. He wasn’t sure what to say. Had Simon broken his word? Was Morgan just guessing?
“And you like her.”
“I’m not shagging her,” Alec said flatly.
“Oh? Then where were you last night? I walked into your bedroom this morning and it was empty.”
“I stayed up late reading in the library.”
Morgan expression was nonplussed. “Try again. I checked there next. Not a sight or sound of you to be found anywhere, except for one room…”
“Morgan, whatever game you think you’re playing, stop now. Brie will be in a lot of trouble with her publisher if they find out she’s in a relationship with her client’s son,” Alec warned.
“Ah, so you admit it’s a relationship?” Morgan grinned, as if that was what the proof he’d been waiting for.
“Christ, it’s like talking to a brick wall.” Alec walked around his brother and stepped into the hall. “Where did you even get this thing?” He nodded down at the spaniel as Morgan caught up with him.
“One of the farmers at the fair had a litter. She has papers and everything. She’s a fine dog.”
“She’s cute,” Alec grudgingly admitted. “She’s what, barely eight weeks old?” He stroked a finger down the puppy’s nose and a little pink tongue slipped out to lick his finger.
“Nine, actually. Runt of the litter, but I figured that just adds to the charm. Now, you need to get a big bow, a good red or green one, and then give the puppy to Brie for Christmas tonight. Maybe tuck it in a hatbox or something.”
“Like Lady and the Tramp? Morgan, my life is not a Disney movie.”
“It could be if you wanted it to,” Morgan muttered. “Just do it and you’ll be a lucky man.”
“It wouldn’t be appropriate, Morgan.”
“Oh, for God’s sake. It’s a puppy, not an engagement ring.”
Alec paused at the top of the stairs and lifted the puppy up to look at it. The puppy tried to lick his nose. Alec sighed.
“You’d better go raid the extra pet supplies in the stables. You’ll need a fresh bed, and a carrier.”
“I’ve already seen to all of that,” Morgan said. “And puppy food as well. It’s all in the downstairs closet for when you’re ready to give her to Brie.”
Alec stopped one of their footmen, a man named Murphy, and entrusted him to care for the pup until later that night. The brothers then joined everyone in the main salon to enjoy some roasted chestnuts.
He saw Brie across the room with Bridget and his mother, but something felt wrong. Brie didn’t look his way once. He moved through the crowd, dodging Brendan and the group of children he was playing with. He didn’t wish to interrupt the conversation of the fair Brie was so fully engrossed in, so he waited instead for them to finish.
“Oh Alec! Did you let Brie sleep this afternoon?” His mother said when she noticed him hovering nearby. “She looks exhausted.” Julia frowned at him then turned to Brie. “Tonight, we’ll turn in early. Let the children finish the chestnuts and then Byron will perform his reading of T’was the Night Before Christmas.”
Alec studied Brie’s face and noted the wariness in her expression. When his mother and Bridget moved away, he sidled closer.
“Are you all right? You were gone when I woke.”
“Yes, I’m fine.” Brie focused on her notebook as she jotted down some things.
“What’s the matter? I get the sense you’re avoiding me,” he said so as not to be overheard.
“Alec, we’ve been kidding ourselves. I know we’re both adults and we’re just having fun, but we need to stop before…” She trailed off.
“Before what?”
“Before one of us makes a mistake. I can’t afford to do that, okay? Let’s just call it quits now.”
Logically her words make perfect sense, but for some reason it filled him with a deep pain, one that made it harder to breathe, like he’d run too fast outside in the cold, and his lungs were almost frozen. Brie started to walk away, but he caught her wrist, tugging her back toward him.
“Brie, please, I’m sorry if I said anything that made you uncomfortable. Please don’t take this from me, give me a few more days with you.”
Alec hadn’t begged for anything in a long time. The last time he could remember doing it was when his grandfather had been rushed away in an ambulance. He’d prayed and begged for Walter not to die, that the paramedics had been wrong when they told his family to prepare for the worst. Prayers and begging the universe hadn’t done anything back then.
“Alec…we both knew this was risky. I don’t think I can do this for another few days.”
“What changed? What happened between the moment you fell asleep in my arms and now?”
She was quiet a long moment before replying. “The truth? I had a bad dream. One that remin
ded me that my life isn’t a fairytale. That life? The life I have hoped for ever since I was a girl? It doesn’t exist.” Her eyes were tense with pain.
“What doesn’t exist?” Alec asked.
“Love.” Her simple answer stunned him so greatly that when she pulled at her arm, he let her go. Her wrist slid out from his fingertips.
“Brie…” he whispered, but Brie was already crossing the room, though she might as well have been at the opposite end of the universe.
Everyone settled into the cozy drawing room. A roaring fire was lit, the flames crackling and popping on the logs. The children had all clustered near a large armchair where Byron wore a night robe and a floppy night cap and sat with an old leatherback book resting in his lap. Between his teeth was an old pipe which he puffed on dramatically even though no smoke came out. Brie watched the children giggle at his antics.
“He doesn’t actually smoke it,” Morgan murmured from beside her. “Too health-conscious, but the children love it all the same.”
“Let me guess, you suggested using a bubble pipe, instead,” said Brie as she noticed that bubbles were starting to come up out of the pipe’s mouth.
“How did you know?”
“Call it a hunch.” Brie found herself smiling, despite her heart aching after her talk with Alec.
Byron made a show of settling into his chair, then cleared his throat and opened the book.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,