by Lauren Smith
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,”
Byron paused, letting the children gasp in suspense and the adults all chuckled as they looked on indulgently.
“With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth.”
Byron waved his pipe dramatically, making the children laugh.
“And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—”
Byron paused and someone else bellowed the final phrase in a deep sonorous voice.
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
The children all squealed in delight as a fully dressed white-bearded St. Nicholas strode into the room.
“Well, hello there!” Byron nodded at Santa Claus.
“Hello! And who do we have here?” Santa Claus peered down at the group of children as he hefted a heavy velvet bag from his shoulder. The children realized now was the time to open presents and they clustered around the Santa as he began to parcel out the gifts to the children.
“Morgan, who plays the Santa?” Brie whispered.
“The groundskeeper, Mr. Grange. He lives for this role every year,” Morgan chuckled.
Brie could now see a hint of the groundskeeper beneath the realistic white beard and wig.
“Now, before you go play with your new toys, would you like to meet my reindeer?”
The resounding shouts of “yes” made Santa Claus grin. “This way! This way, little ones!”
“Is he serious?” asked Brie.
“Oh yes,” said Morgan.
The adults followed him and the children outside. There on the front of the snow-covered driveway was indeed an ornate sleigh with a team of eight living, breathing reindeer, strapped with bell-covered harnesses.
Brie marveled at the sight. The children were given sugar cubes and took turns feeding the reindeer for several minutes. Then Santa declared he had to leave to visit other children.
“If he makes that thing fly, then I know I’m in a coma at the hospital,” Brie said and Morgan chuckled.
Santa climbed into the sleigh and tapped the reindeer with the leather reins. The reindeer pulled the sleigh around the edge of the house and out of sight. Everyone headed back indoors where the children opened their gifts. Brendan got a Nintendo Switch which he showed to Simon and Bridget, who gave him a thumbs up.
“Julia got an advance Christmas list for all the kids,” Morgan explained. “We invite some of our friends who attend the reading each year and mum’s brilliant at planning it all out, right down to the gifts.”
“That’s smart. Some of those younger ones really seem to believe that was Santa Claus.” Brie was moved by the look of joy on the children’s faces, but she was still all too aware of Alec standing nearby and the way his eyes never left her as he talked to other guests.
By midnight, the children were escorted to bed and the adults without children were finishing their glasses of Merryvale’s famous sloe gin before heading to bed themselves. Brie, not currently engaged with anyone, took this opportunity to slip away as well
“Brie.” Alec blocked her exit as she tried to leave the drawing room. Her heart gave a jolt at his sudden appearance.
“Alec…” She said his name in a warning tone.
“I have a gift for you.”
“No, you shouldn’t. That’s a bad idea.” She shook her head, but he pulled her into his arms before she could protest further. His masculine scent was intoxicating and brought back every wonderful memory she had of him in the last few days.
“Just one.” He led her to her bedroom where a large Christmas box with some holes in the side sat on her bed.
“What is it?” she asked. The box suddenly moved a little and a soft noise came from it.
“Oh my God.” Brie looked Alec. “What is it?” She repeated. She was not at all reassured by his soft smile. She quickly approached the box and lifted the loose lid. A small furry bundle sat inside the box, wiggling and whining softly, a big red bow tied around its neck. She stared at it. It was a Cocker Spaniel puppy.
“She’s for you.” Alec came up behind her, his hand encircling her waist as he held her close to him. A dozen emotions ripped through her, sharp and almost violent.
“You said that you love dogs but never really had a chance to have one. She’s had all her proper shots and she won’t have to wait in quarantine to fly home with you.”
Brie picked up the puppy and cradled it in her arms. It nuzzled her throat and its tiny tongue licked her everywhere she could. She couldn’t help but giggle.
“Do you like her?”
“Like her? Only a monster wouldn’t like her. She’s precious. Are you sure I can take her home?” Brie rubbed her cheek against the puppy’s silky head. That sweet innocent puppy smell filled her nose and her eyes with tears. This was of those things she’d missed out on her whole life: the bliss of holding a puppy in her arms. She turned to Alec, whose soft hazel eyes glowed in the gilded light from the chandelier above them.
“I know you want this to be over but give me one last night just to hold you.” His voice was soft and slightly raspy as he entreated her with his plea.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, Alec. We keep saying we’re adults, but that doesn’t mean things can’t get complicated, even if we don’t intend for them to.”
Alec nodded. “I understand. And it’s not like I haven’t had those same concerns. It’s fair to say that I’ve grown fond of you in the time we’ve had together.”
“I’m fond of you too.”
“
So, it must seem like a cold and callous thing to have those kind of feelings, yet agree to end things as well.”
“And there’s the matter of our jobs and separate lives.”
“Yes, I know. But wouldn’t you regret it more if we didn’t make the most of the time we had?” His hands cupped her shoulders and slid up and down her arms as he waited for a response. She slowly nodded. It was impossible to deny herself what she wanted.
“One more night.”
One more night to pretend she could have the life she always wanted. Alec leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. The puppy wriggled for a moment then rested in between the two of them. Alec tangled his fingers in Brie’s hair as he kissed her deeply. His mouth slanted over hers and the kiss turned into a slow burn that whispered of dark nights and secretly sinful pleasures. There was a lifetime of dreams and desires passing between them as their mouths danced with one another.
The puppy whined, as if telling them she wanted to play too. They broke apart and laughed. Alec ruffled the puppy’s ears.
“You need to name her.”
Brie held the puppy up to peer more deeply into the dark pools of her brown eyes.
“She looks like an Ainsley to me.”
“Ainsley it is.” Alec held open his arms. “She has a kennel already. Want me to put her down for the night?”
“Does she need to eat? Or, you know, go out?”
“No, she’s been taken care of by a footman.”
“Great.” Brie kissed Ainsley’s forehead and then passed the pup to Alec, who carried her over to the little kennel and tucked her in before closing the door.
Ainsley whined softly for a moment before settling down.
“Thank you, Alec. She’s perfect. I don’t know how she’ll adjust to my apartment, but at least I live across from a park.” Brie was already picturing her life with the puppy and it made her smile.
“I wanted you to have something special to remember this place…to remember us.”
Brie’s throat tightened and her smile faltered, but she regained her resolve. It was like he said: she’d regret it more if they didn’t make the most of the time they had.
“I can think of another way to remember this.” She gripped his sweater and pulled him to her, kissing him hard. She didn’t want any more regrets, at least not for one more night.
13
Christmas morning came quietly on soft snow-tipped paws to Merryvale Court. Brie lay beside him in her bed, Ainsley tucked between their naked bodies. The puppy stirred and rolled onto her back; her chubby legs spread open as she fell back asleep. He rubbed the soft belly, making one tiny back leg kick as he found a ticklish spot.
“How on earth did you end up here?” he murmured to the dog.
Brie opened one eye to stare at him. “It’s my fault.” She bit her bottom lip to cover up a grin but failed. “She cried early this morning and I just had to let her out. She wanted to be in bed with us.”
“If you spoil her now…”
“I know.” Brie groaned. “I’m going to be a terrible dog mom.”
“I suppose that’s a matter of opinion. I’m sure Ainsley will think you’re the best.” He scratched his fingers under Ainsley’s chin. The puppy sighed and licked her lips in contentment.
“What time is it?” Alec rolled over to check his watch and then flung himself back down on the bed. “The bagpipers will start in a few minutes.”
“What? I thought that wasn’t until ten?”
“It is nearly ten.” He retrieved his Breitling watch from the nightstand to show her.
“Oh God. Your mom must be waiting for me!” Brie threw the covers back and sat up.
“Probably, but you shouldn’t worry. Get dressed. I’ll have someone take Ainsley out for you.”
Brie slid out of bed. “Thanks.” Alec folded his arms behind his head as he enjoyed the view of her delectable backside as she bent to pick up her clothes off the floor and put them in her suitcase before retrieving a fresh outfit to wear.
His phone buzzed and he leaned over to grab it from the nightstand. A dozen emails were bolded in his inbox. He groaned. The office was bugging him on Christmas day of all days to start the acquisition paperwork. This was why he hadn’t been home for Christmas the last three years. Whoever stayed in London to work on whatever deal was going down always got the bonuses, raises and recognition. It was also far easier to bury himself in work on Christmas day and not think about losing his grandfather.
“What is it?” Brie asked. She was dressed now, her lovely curves half hidden beneath the deep cranberry colored sweater.
“Work. I need to go handle this. If you want to take Ainsley out early, her leash is in her crate.”
“I’ll take her.” Brie pulled on her boots and picked the puppy up. She collected the red leash and carried the dog out of the room. Alec got out of bed and dressed. He’d have to work for a few hours but then he’d be able to enjoy some of the day with Brie and his family.
As he left Brie’s room, he thought back to last night and how Brie had been everything he’d wanted. Yet even as she drifted to sleep, he’d seen a flash of something in her eyes. Resignation? Reservation? Some combination of the two?
It shouldn’t matter. Last night was simply that. The last night. They would both go back to their separate lives. It shouldn’t bother him, but it did.
For the next two hours he worked on his laptop in his room, unable to shake the knot of worry in his chest. He could hear the distant Christmas music and knew everyone was downstairs having fun while he was working. Wasn’t that how things were supposed to be? Wasn’t that how he’d always wanted it to be?
Brie spent the first half of the day taking pictures of the bagpipers and the Christmas turkey, roasted chutney, and artichoke soup that were served for the main meal. She laughed as everyone popped the brightly colored Christmas crackers and wore the flimsy paper crowns will they shared the jokes from their crackers.
Nearly twenty people filled the massive dining room table, but one seat was empty. Alec’s.
Julia and Byron both attempted to pretend the vacant seat didn’t exist. It was depressingly clear that they were used to the eldest son not attending Christmas activities. Morgan, on the other hand, was the life of the party. He, and many of the others, wore terrible Christmas sweaters as part of an ugly sweater contest. Yet when he glanced toward Brie, she saw a hint of something in his eyes that warned her his charm was a cover. He looked…disappointed, not that she could guess why.
By early evening, Alec finally come downstairs and slipped in to join the celebrations. His parents wished him a happy Christmas, but Brie didn’t miss their disappointment. Alec moved through the crowds until he was standing next to her. The kids drank hot apple cider while the adults enjoyed various dessert drinks like sherry and port.
“Did you get your work done?” Brie asked.
“Mostly. I’ll be busy for a week or so, and then it’s another couple weeks until the next big deal comes our way.”
Brie didn’t reply. In a way she was glad. Her foolish heart had so desperately wanted to connect itself to him, but this was a stark reminder that it would never have worked out. The last few days have been a nice vacation but that’s all it was: a vacation.
“So, you leave tomorrow?” Alec asked. “That’s Boxing Day. Don’t you want to stay for that?”
“I can’t.” Brie knew she could, but she wasn’t going to draw out the goodbyes more than she had to. She had everything she needed for the book. Everything else would be handled over phone and email. She’d come to love Merryvale and the Halston family, and it felt like a knife to her heart when she thought about leaving them.
“Are you and Morgan going back tomorrow?” she asked.
“I’m afraid so.” Alec’s gaze caught on his brother. “I don’t know how he does it. I know his job is complex and demanding, yet he acts like he has all the time in the world.”
Brie sighed and ruffled Ainsley’s fu
r. The puppy was tucked between her legs. “He knows what matters. He cares about his family enough to make it his priority.” Shock flashed in Alec’s eyes. She didn’t mean for it to sound accusing, but before she could apologize, Ainsley ran away from her on chubby legs toward the other three dogs and Brie had to chase after her. Ainsley bumped into Yogi and barked at his behemoth body as though it were a bulldog shaped mountain. Brie couldn’t help but think Ainsley would be happier here with this family instead of a lonely, tiny apartment.
“Brie, are you okay?” Bridget asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She just had to hold herself together one more night and then she would be going home.
“When you get to the airport tomorrow be sure to call me, okay?”
“I will.” Brie promised and hugged her.
Brie stepped back into the shadow of the room to better watch the guests at the party. Someone began a rousing chorus of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Byron and Morgan sang it proudly, their voices carrying across the room. Alec stood not too far away, watching them, a hint of sorrow in his eyes. Why didn’t he want this? Couldn’t he see how amazing his family was?
But Brie knew she couldn’t judge Alec. She was the same. Afraid of getting hurt, afraid of making a mistake again. She slipped out of the drawing room and into the hall. A number of guests were milling about or headed up to bed. She smiled and wished them a good night as she climbed the stairs. When she reached the top, she glanced down once more at the shaft of light coming out of the partially open drawing room door.
“Bit much, eh?” someone said.
She turned to see an older man she didn’t recognize leaving a room a few feet from the top of the stairs where she stood.
“Yeah, I don’t have family anymore and I forgot how intense it can be in a crowded room for a long time. But I love it too.”
The man chuckled. “Yes, having the family around is good, even when they are intense at times, as you put it. I’m sorry you lost yours.”
“Thanks.”
The man removed a cigar from his pocket and lit it. He puffed once and the smell was rather pleasant. He was older, in his mid-seventies, with silver hair and kind brown eyes.