A Marquess' Forbidden Desire (Steamy Historical Regency)

by Lucinda Nelson

  “What time is it?”

  “I’m not sure,” he admitted.

  “The sun has set. Have we been here so long?” She moved her head from his shoulder and started to stand. “We should get back. They’ll be worrying.”

  It was then that he thought of Julius. It had been so easy to forget everything and everyone else when he was so close to Marianne.

  Together, they walked briskly back to the house. It was there that they found Julius, Becky and Lilia standing in the courtyard with a number of household staff members.

  When they caught sight of Marianne and Alexander approaching them, it was Lilia to break away first. She ran the remaining steps towards Marianne and embraced her. “You had me worried sick! Are you alright? Have you caught a chill?”

  Before Marianne could get a word in, Lilia rounded on Alexander. “And you sir, taking a young woman out into the woods and not bringing her home until such an hour. Do you have a sound explanation?”

  He wasn’t used to being spoken to in that way. With elevated brows, he opened his mouth to speak, but Marianne piped up on his behalf.

  “We sat reading, Lilia, and we fell asleep. That is all.” It was a lie and her cheeks burned red. She had to clear her throat before she could muster any more words.

  “But we are so very sorry to have worried you. Please do not badger Lord Redmond with accusations. He has been a gentleman, I promise you.”

  A gentleman who’d pressed his hips between her thighs. And she, the Lady who’d clung to those hips for dear life.

  Lilia looked between the pair of them dubiously. Miss Cole then appeared by Lilia’s side. She embraced Marianne too. “I am glad you are back, my Lady.”

  They all seemed so terribly worried, but he couldn’t feel regretful. He had to cherish every moment he could with Marianne. “I am so sorry to have worried you, Miss Cole.”

  Miss Cole nodded her head, but didn’t smile.

  Julius put his hand on his shoulder.

  “I suppose you weren’t worried,” Alexander remarked, with a smile.

  “On the contrary. I was quite terrified that you’d been eaten by bears.”

  Alexander laughed.

  He saw that Miss Cole was scowling at Julius. “He was irritatingly calm,” she said. Was she hiding a smile in the tenseness of her mouth?

  Though she was looking at Julius as if she’d love to hit him, there was something else there. Some warmth or affection in her countenance.

  He realized, as he looked between Miss Cole and Julius, that Marianne was right. He’d had his doubts about Miss Cole’s affections for Julius, but it was surely there. Buried under layers of uncertainty.

  Julius winked at Miss Cole. She blushed and looked away.

  “I think it is time that we all retired,” Lady Lilia said.

  They all concurred. But before Alexander could bid the group farewell, Marianne took him aside. She retrieved a letter from her gown and handed it to him.

  “It’s for my father,” she said, with a gentle smile. “Would you mind delivering it?”

  “Of course,” he said. He took the letter and put it into his pocket. Then he looked up at Marianne. “I will go tomorrow.”

  “Then I suppose you won’t be able to visit,” she said, with a nod.

  His smile turned impish and he quirked his brow. “Does that disappoint you?”

  Her smile wasn’t coy or shy. It was shameless and she looked into his eyes when she spoke. “It disappoints me terribly.”

  “You won’t be lonely without me, I’m sure.”

  “I’ll have Becky and Lilia,” she admitted. “But a room of people you love can still feel lonely if you’re missing someone.”

  He opened his mouth to ask her if she meant that she was going to miss him, or if perhaps she was speaking about her father.

  Before he could ask,Marianne said, “I meant to ask… How is the wedding planning going?”

  The wedding. He blinked, as if he’d forgotten until that very moment. “The wedding?”

  “Yes,” she said. “The wedding.” There was a small crinkle between her brows and she was looking at him half-hopefully, half-fearfully.

  The wedding. Eliza. He’d forgotten about the wedding, about his fiancé. And now he felt it coming back to him as if he was waking from a dream. He was speechless.

  And for the first time, the answer was clear.

  He stared at Marianne.

  Her countenance sank and she looked away from him.

  She nodded to herself, as if processing something important. “You’re still going to marry her.”

  “What?” He blurted, as if she was speaking a foreign language. Didn’t she understand? Hadn’t she felt what was between them earlier, as they’d been lying together in the grass? How could she possibly think, for even a moment, that he’d still go through with the marriage?

  “Marianne-”

  “So when did you plan on stopping your visits? Unless you mean to continue to visit your wife’s sister in secret?” She interjected, before he could get the words out.

  “Marianne, listen to me, I’m-”

  I’m going to call it off.

  But before he could speak the words, Marianne looked away from him and shook her head. “I have been very stupid indeed,” she whispered, to herself, not to him. Before he could tell her that she was the smartest woman he’d ever known, in heart and mind, she spoke again.

  “Goodbye, my Lord,” she said. They’d reached the house. And with that, she climbed the steps and went inside.

  “Marianne!” He called again, and followed her up the steps.

  Chapter 36

  Lord Alexander Anthony Redmond, Marquess of Riversdale

  “Marianne,” he called, as he pushed the door open. She didn’t understand. He had to make her understand. That kiss between them had changed everything, because it had made him forget the reality that lived beyond these grounds.

  It had made him forget about duty. Forget that Eliza even existed. And it wasn’t until she’d asked him about the wedding that he realized he’d already made his decision.

  But when he stepped into the house, he was stopped in his tracks by the man in front of him. It was Lord Fuller. Alexander went still and blinked at the gentleman.

  “Lord Fuller…” Marianne said, clearly equally surprised. “What are you doing here, my Lord?”

  Lord Fuller smiled at her and paid Alexander very little heed indeed. “Lady Lilia invited me,” he explained. “And when I heard that you were staying here, I couldn’t resist.”

  “He has been waiting for your return,” Lady Lilia said. “He was very worried indeed.”

  Marianne looked to Lilia, who stood beside Lord Fuller looking exceptionally calm. “You told him where I was?” The hurt on her face was too much to bear.

  “I did,” Lilia answered, without a moment’s hesitation. “I thought you could benefit from the company of another gentleman,” she added, and cast a pointed look in Alexander’s direction.

  Before Marianne could express her hurt, Lord Fuller spoke up. “I am so sorry to have intruded, my Lady. It is just that I haven’t seen you in such a long time and I…”

  He looked at Lilia, then Alexander, as his cheeks went pink.

  “I missed you,” he admitted, in a confession that was thick and slow. But bold. Alexander looked him up and down. His stomach had a jittery feeling in it and he felt the rise of a queer feeling. A hybrid combination of anger and fear.

  Marianne blinked at Lord Fuller, as if this surprised her. But then she smiled kindly at him, before mortification found him.

  “I thank you for that, my Lord. Of course it is lovely to see you. I am so very sorry if my surprise gave you reason to think otherwise. I will explain all if you take a walk with me?”

  It was too late to take a walk, as far as Alexander was concerned. But taking a walk with Lord Fuller would be an ideal way for Marianne to get rid of Alexander, as she clearly intended.

&nbs
p; The prospect of a walk brightened Lord Fuller’s countenance again. Then he looked at Alexander. “I would not want to intrude upon your time with your future brother-in-law,” Lord Fuller remarked.

  Had Alexander been alone, he would have punched a wall. Brother-in-law. Perhaps he was paranoid, but he thought that Lord Fuller had done that on purpose. Well, if he perceived Alexander as a threat, then Alexander wasn’t going to take any action to rectify that.

  But before he could speak up and say that he wasn’t finished with his visit just yet, Marianne spoke on his behalf. “Lord Redmond was just leaving,” she said. “We have just said our goodbyes.”

  She looked at Alexander with a steady gaze. He tried to see something in her eyes besides resolve… but found nothing.

  “My sister is missing him awfully. He is going to ride back to Mayfair and spend some time with her.”

  “Congratulations on the engagement, my Lord. I don’t think I have had a chance to say it before,” Lord Fuller said.

  With an expression like steel, Alexander continued to stare at Marianne. He wanted to blurt it out, then and there. But he couldn’t. Not publicly. Not without first calling it off officially.

  If he said it now, what if Lord Fuller sent word back to the Purcell family – to Eliza – before Alexander had the chance to speak to them?

  “My Lord?” Marianne said, when his silence continued.

  Alexander forced himself to look at Lord Fuller. “Thank you,” he said curtly, through tight lips.

  Lord Fuller inclined his head.

  “Shall we go for that walk then, my Lady?” Lord Fuller suggested. As he said this, he put his arm out for her to take. She looked down at it, then up at Alexander’s face.

  He saw what he thought was the slightest flicker of pain. But then she buried it. “Goodbye, my Lord,” she said again. There was no maliciousness in her voice. Only a touch of sadness.

  She took his arm and Lord Fuller led her outside. The door closed behind them and he was alone in the foyer, staring at the door.

  Except he wasn’t alone. He’d forgotten about Lilia, who stood behind him.

  “You don’t seem especially happy,” she said.

  He turned and looked at her. It felt like his heart was being spun in circles. Sickening, blood-curdling circles. He’d never known jealousy like this before. “I want what’s best for her,” he said, as he tried to compose his countenance.

  But he was what was best for her. He felt it in his gut.

  She regarded him with a knowing eye. “You want her, regardless of what is best.”

  “Why did you bring him here?” He asked, in an almost desperate voice. “To hurt me?”

  “My Lord,” Lilia said. She shook her head and stepped towards him. “I brought him here because this is reality. Either you take her hand, or someone else does.”

  But he had every intention of taking her hand. Whether Lilia knew it or not. And yet he suddenly felt very afraid that Lord Fuller would beat him to it.

  “They’re just going for a walk,” he said, in a shaky voice.

  And then her expression turned sympathetic. Almost tender. It was too much for him. His breathing started to become unsteady. “Is there more to it than that?”

  “You know there is.”

  He did. But he didn’t want to believe it.

  “Do you know something?” He pressed, with more force.

  Lilia nodded. “He’s going to propose tonight.”

  Alexander’s heart stopped beating.

  ***

  Lady Marianne Purcell, Daughter of the Baron of Westlake

  Marianne did not want to go walking with Lord Fuller. She wanted to be alone, so that she could process the realization that the man she loved was still going to marry her sister.

  He’d come to see her almost every day. He’d been with her from morning till dusk. They swam together, read together. They’d been so close at times that she’d found herself mistaking him for her lover. It had been almost too easy to pretend that he was hers.

  They’d kissed, and more.

  And she supposed she’d continued to harbor hope that he would be hers, one day. After all, what sort of man wanted to spend so much time with a woman he didn’t love?

  Now she wasn’t so certain. Because despite her hopes that their time together was convincing him to call off the marriage, he was still going through with it.

  It dawned on her, as she walked with Lord Fuller, that this was probably the last time she’d see Alexander before his marriage. After their fall out, he wasn’t likely to return.

  When she next saw him, he’d be her sister’s husband.

  She felt her eyes prick with tears, but wouldn’t let them fall. Not in front of Lord Fuller, who was surprisingly quiet. Marianne looked at him and tried to smile. “Are you well, my Lord?”

  “Yes,” he answered, shortly. His voice was a little raspy.

  She frowned. “Are you quite sure? Have I upset you, my Lord? Please understand that I haven’t been hiding from you. You’re such a kind man. I wouldn’t have any cause to hide from you.”

  “Forgive me if I am behaving unusually, my Lady,” he said. Then he pulled at his collar as if it was too tight. “I am just a little nervous.”

  “Nervous, my Lord?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will you tell me why? Perhaps I may be able to ease your nervousness.”

  He put his hand out and touched her arm, to stop her walking. “You can ease it, my Lady.”

  She looked up at him, surprised, but nodded. “Then tell me what I can do, my Lord.”

  Marianne could never have predicted what he did.

  He went down on one knee.

  “Marianne Purcell.” Her heart gave a disjointed thump that shook the insides of her chest. “I have loved you since the first moment I saw you. And I have thought of nothing but you since then.”

  Her lips were frozen. She wanted to tell him to stop, but she couldn’t get the words out.

  “I believe that I can make you happy. I can provide for you. And I know that having you as my wife will make me the happiest man living.”

  He closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. Then he spoke again. “So I have come here to ask you – no, to implore you.” He took her hands in his. “Will you do me the honor of giving me your hand in marriage, Marianne?”

  Her lips parted.

  And everything ground to a halt. The entire world stopped.

  “I…”

  His face was so open. So shameless in its affection. It was the expression she’d always wanted to see on a man’s face. Lord Fuller was a handsome man. He seemed kind and well-intentioned. A gentleman, through and through.

  He was exactly what she’d always wanted.

  Except he wasn’t Alexander.

  It was then that she started to cry.

  His hopeful countenance morphed into concern. He rose to his feet with her hands still cupped in his. He kissed each of her knuckles. “Oh, my Lady, I have shocked you. Tell me these are happy tears.”

  They weren’t, but she wouldn’t hurt him by saying so. She gave him a watery smile. She didn’t love him, but perhaps one day she would.

  Yes, he wasn’t Alexander. But that didn’t mean a damn thing anymore. Because she didn’t have a chance with the man she loved, so why not take this man’s hand? He was the best chance of making her happy and she had no intention of wallowing in her misery for the rest of her life.

  But was that fair on him? To take his hand in the hope that one day she’d love him the way he loved her. What if she never did?

  Very carefully, she pulled her hands free of his. “I am overwhelmed,” she admitted. “And I feel so very privileged to have earned your affections, my Lord. But I wonder… could I take some time to consider it? To speak to my parents?”

  “I have already asked your father, of course, my Lady,” he added, in a rushed voice.

  She squeezed his hands. “And what did he say?”


  “He said that if it pleased you, it would please him.”

  As she’d expected.

  Marianne nodded and gave him a wobbly smile. Her eyelashes were still wet, but the tears had stopped rolling down her cheeks. “Give me some time to think, my Lord. That’s all I ask for.”

  He hesitated, as if the prospect of waiting would be too much for him. Then he nodded. “Of course. I will call for you soon.”