Arena 4

by Logan Jacobs

  “Ah, yes,” Tyche turned to her and bowed his head slightly. Just before he did, I caught a glimpse of pure disgust on his face. But it was only a glimpse and happened so fast I thought it might have been a trick of the light because certainly, he couldn’t have looked that revolted and full of hate. It must have been because he smiled warmly at the DOTUS. “The Aetherons thank you for providing such an… entertaining champion.”

  “You’re welcome,” the President boasted. “Truly welcome. He is tremendous, isn’t he? The best. I knew he would be. That’s why I picked him.”

  “Well, technically we pic--” Tyche began to say but was cut off.

  “When do we get to see more cool alien stuff?” the POTUS asked to everyone and no one. “I’m bored with the stuff in here already. I want to see new alien stuff.”

  Tyche looked like he’d been slapped in the face. He clearly wasn’t used to someone with the President’s unique personality. Once again the DOTUS stepped in to smooth things over.

  “Tyche,” she intoned, her voice full of graciousness and poise, “we look forward to the banquet you have set out in our honor tomorrow evening.”

  “Yes, you are most welcome,” Tyche said as he recovered. “As your father said, we have dawdled too long down here. As we promised your Secret Service, you have been assigned several security-bots for your protection. They will look over you and your father without being intrusive. All we ask is that you stay within the confines of the Champion’s District. Like most large cities, all that is good and civilized lays close to the financial centers. Outside of that, well, it gets a little rough and tumble.”

  As he talked, three big robots descended from the ceiling to flank the President and his Daughter. They were sleek, streamlined, and looked pretty freaking ominous. Their matte black metal exterior practically absorbed any light so that they appeared to look like shadows. Where their heads should have been was just a small dome with a horizontal slit that had an oscillating red light that went from one side of the slit to the other rhythmically. They were like a hovering hybrid of a Droideka from the Star Wars prequels and a Cylon created by the Department of Defense. I couldn’t see any visible weapons on them, but something told me that if trouble broke out, they’d become fairly bristly with guns, cannons, and implements of destruction.

  “Thank you, Tyche,” the DOTUS said politely. “We will make sure to stay in the confines of the Champion’s District while on our search for real estate.”

  “Wonderful,” Tyche thanked her. “We shall let you get on with your visit. I trust that champion Havak and his team will want to show you around the Hall of Champions. Again, it was a pleasure to welcome you. We shall see you tomorrow evening at the banquet. Good day.”

  Tyche nodded to the POTUS, who barely registered it, glanced over at me and my team, smirked, and then began to walk off. His form shimmered and then disappeared. I found that I’d been holding my breath a little and finally let it out once he was gone.

  The President opened his mouth to say something but got completely cut off as Trillium Vou and her cloud of cameras swooped in.

  “Mr. President, Trillium Vou, so nice to finally meet you in the flesh,” she gushed.

  “Ah, yeah, hello Trillium,” he said and turned to look at her. The President gave her a quick once over, as if judging a piece of artwork, grunted and put a big fake smile on his face. It wasn’t very convincing. “It is nice for you to meet me in person. I am a delight. You’re lucky. The universe is lucky.”

  He smiled into all the cameras with all of his smug charm.

  “I’d like to ask you a few questions about your visit if--” Trillium started to ask, but she didn’t get to finish.

  “Not now, Ms. Vou,” the President’s Daughter stepped in. The way she said “Ms” was clearly a dig. The two of them stood toe to toe, and it was like watching two cats square off over territory. Call me crazy, but I kinda wanted to see that fight.

  “We have a lot to accomplish in a short period,” the President added. “Try us again tomorrow before the banquet. We’ve scheduled a little bit of space to answer questions from my adoring galactic fans.”

  “Your fans?” Vou asked as her eyes opened wide. “Mr. President, it is my show and the fans are—”

  “Thank you for coming,” he interrupted her as he waved at her entourage. “I’ll do signatures tomorrow. First come. First served.”

  And with that, the DOTUS cut Trillium off with her body and angled her father toward where we were standing. During all the niceties, Team Havak had faded back a little to give everyone room.

  “Marc,” the DOTUS said and smiled at me, “so good to see you again.”

  She leaned in and gave me a brief hug. Her body pressed tightly against mine and I kinda thought she was feeling me up a bit. I didn’t mind. I felt the tight, hard, nubs of her nipples as she leaned into my chest. Was she cold or happy to see me?

  “You too,” I finally answered as she pulled away. “How was your trip? Higgs-Boson tunnels can be a bit much.”

  “You can say that again,” she answered and rubbed her temple absently. “It was… interesting.”

  “Tremendous,” the POTUS butted in. “I loved it. I knew I would. Wow. This must be Team Havak. You all are hot. Very hot. All of you are tens. I know tens, and you all are it.”

  The POTUS went around and hugged every member of Team Havak as he spoke. Artemis was befuddled. Nova looked like she wanted to punch him. PoLarr met his steely gaze with one of her own, and he shook her hand. When he got to Aurora, he smiled bigger than I’d ever seen the man smile before. She smiled back and licked her lips. He didn’t get a chance to hug her because she leaned in and hugged him first. I caught the hungry look on her face and shook my head.

  “Aurora,” I mouthed silently. “No!” The Shriike, a freaky space vampire, that lived within the confines of Aurora’s very sexy body and soul needed to feast on life-force. Being a champion usually gave her plenty of opportunity to stuff her Shriike’s fat face, but it must have sensed a tremendous amount of life-force within the President and it wanted a snack. The geometric tribal tattoos that covered her body helped her keep that part of her in check. Thankfully.

  “Fine” she mouthed back with a pout and pulled away.

  “Where is the mighty, Grizz?” the President asked and looked around.

  As if he’d heard and been waiting to make an entrance, Grizz appeared in front of the President. He was decked out in his holographic finest: soft, tan, lambskin trousers tucked into calf-length lace-up boots, a fancy ornamental belt with a giant bronze buckle that had his mighty sword attached to it, a flowing red cape, and no shirt. I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like he’d polished the big black ram's horns that framed his face.

  “I am here, King of Earth,” Grizz bellowed and bowed deeply. “With the Honor of the Battlegrounds of the Beyond that I humbly meet your visage in the flesh.”

  “King of Earth, I like that,” the POTUS grinned. “The honor is mine, Grizz. God, you look like The Rock.”

  “So I have heard, sire,” Grizz nodded down at the President who tried to hug him and walked through his hologram. “Alas, King President, I am but a reflection of the champion who fought in the arena a century ago. This form is a trick of the light.”

  “Of course, I knew that,” the POTUS said as he regained his composure. “Honey, I want you to trademark ‘King of Earth’ as soon as we get back.”

  “Sure thing, Dad,” she said and rolled her eyes slightly so that only I could see it.

  “Mr. President,” Artemis said to take focus. “Why don’t you come with us, and we can show you around?”

  “Yes, yes, tremendous,” the POTUS nodded.

  We all followed Artemis, who’d taken on her Tour Guide persona, into the elevator. As the door closed, I caught a brief glimpse of Trillium Vou. She stared after us with the most unadulterated look of pure, seething hatred I think I’d ever seen on another living being. I held up my hand and
waved my fingers at her just before the doors slid closed and the elevator began to ascend.

  It probably wasn't the smartest move, seeing as how she already hated my guts, but it’s not like she could really despise me more, right?

  Right?

  Chapter Eleven

  “And here is the statue of us that I had installed in Central Park,” the President bragged as he flipped another page in his voluminous scrapbook. It showed a picture of a twenty-foot tall statue made of brilliant marble that depicted the POTUS as he carried me across some imaginary river. His stone face beamed with pride as my granite visage looked up at him lovingly.

  “Um, that’s… cool,” I smiled and nodded in fake approval.

  After a very Disney-like tour of the Hall of Champions and showing off all the cool bells and whistles of the gym, the President had insisted on coming back to our apartment. We were now all gathered around my coffee table as the President showed off a bevy of images from his scrapbook. They were all pictures from around the United States where statues of the two of us had been erected.

  So far we’d seen one that had been put up next to the Washington Monument. That one had us barechested and holding M-60 machine guns like Rambo. The President was way more buff that I was.

  Another, this one erected in the fountain at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas had me perched on a large rock like Ariel with the President standing behind me. In his hand was a huge trident.

  Yet another was placed just below the Hollywood sign in Los Angeles. In that one, the President gave me a piggyback ride. The look of pure glee on both our stone rendered faces was a tad overdone in my opinion.

  I at first thought it was a big joke. But that thought got wiped clean very quickly with how happy at himself the President was. We’d been going through the picture book for the last fifteen minutes.

  “Aw, Havak, that one is so… manly,” Nova said and pointed to the piggy-back picture. She could barely contain her laughter. Everyone but me was getting an enormous kick out of the POTUS’ little show and tell.

  PoLarr actually had to go to her room she was laughing so hard that I thought she would pass out.

  “I agree one hundred and fifty percent, Nova,” Chaz piped up from the other side of the POTUS. He’d appeared the second we had walked through my doors. He and the President had hit it off immediately and were now bosom buddies.

  “As do I Chaz,” the President agreed. “Marc and I are the best at manliness.”

  I downed the rest of my second pint of Guinness since getting home and stood up. “If you’ll excuse me for a second, I need to use the little boy's room.”

  “Sure thing, Marc,” The POTUS said and flipped another page. “We’re almost done with all the statues my sons and I put up in America. Next, we move on to the rest of the world. You should see what we did in Rio. It’s tremendous.”

  “Can’t wait, sir,” I said through gritted teeth and walked into the hallway. I really didn’t have to piss, but I needed to collect myself for a minute.

  Alas, I didn’t get the chance. When I opened the door and walked into the bedroom I was greeted by the President’s Daughter lounging on top of my bed. She’d taken off her sport coat, and her cream-colored blouse was unbuttoned two buttons past the decency threshold. She pretended to wake up from a light sleep when I walked in.

  “Oh, Marc, hello,” she said and yawned languidly on the bed. “I’m sorry I let myself in. I was just so tired after the trip. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all,” I replied and tried to play as cool as I could. It wasn’t every day that the Daughter of the President of the United States of America hit on you. Although to be fair, it had happened to me a fair amount. I felt my inner scoundrel sit up and take notice. “Did you dream of me?”

  “Mmm-hmmm,” she moaned from the back of her throat and nodded her head. “I was trapped in that awful space pod, and there was danger all around and then you burst in with your guns blazing and you rescued me.”

  “Sounds like me,” I bragged and walked intentionally past where she lounged on the bed over to the control panel for the tint-blinds on my window. I adjusted the controls so that we could see the moon-set. Evening dawn light streamed through the slats of clear glass that had appeared in the window.

  “Are those… moons?” she asked.

  “Sure are,” I answered quickly and finally sat down beside her, but still far enough way to make it look like I wasn’t that interested. I mean, I was very interested, but I knew we had to play this little cat-and-mouse game. It was like foreplay. “I don’t know the science behind all of it, I’m more of a man of action, but from what I understand those are the planet’s moons and they shine as bright as our sun does back in the good old Milky Way.”

  “Wow,” she puzzled and slowly inched closer to me. “That’s so strange.”

  “Yeah,” I nodded cooly. “In a few minutes the sun will rise, but it's in a constant state of full solar eclipse, or something like that. I’m no astronomy geek or anything. Too busy fighting for my life and stuff. So, yeah, this planet has night for day and day for night. It’s weird, but you get used to it.”

  “So strange,” she purred and nudged just a bit closer. “You’re so strong to have been able to deal with all of this as well as you have. I think I would have freaked out.”

  “Oh, I think you would have done fine,” I flirted casually. “I’ve seen you in action. How you take charge. Command the situation.”

  “In the boardroom, yes,” the DOTUS nodded as her fingers inched slowly toward my thigh. “But this? This is all so much and I’ve had months to get used to the idea of strange alien beings on far away worlds. You just got thrown right in. You must have been scared. And had so many questions.”

  “Hmm,” I hummed. I knew we were playing a game of sexual tension chicken to see who was going to give in first, but that comment made me actually think. “I really didn’t have time to dwell on it. Everything happened so fast. One minute I was arguing with my douche canoe of a boss and the next I’m blasting my way off a nightmare filled moon full of demons. I was scared shitless. I didn’t really have much of a choice. Did I have questions? Sure, but it was either play the hand I got dealt or end up dead.”

  “Well, I’m very glad you didn’t hesitate,” she whispered as her hand finally crept up onto my thigh. “You saw what you wanted and you just took it. Like some kind of conqueror.”

  “Ha,” I couldn’t help but scoff. “That’s me, Marc Havak, intergalactic Alexander the Great.”

  “I’ll be your Alexandria if you want,” her breath tickled my ear as she moved her face inches from my own, her lips slightly parted and somewhat pouty. I could almost taste them. “Kiss her now you fool!” my inner scoundrel screamed at me, and I was a nanosecond from making out with the President’s Daughter when the door of my room banged open loudly.

  “Marc!” The Pres bellowed, and his Daughter and I turned away from each other like we were horny teenagers who had just gotten busted. “Enough wasting time. Where are all the hot alien tens?”

  “Um, I’m sorry, what?” I stammered. Hormones still raged through my brain, and I was a bit disoriented. A scant second before I was about to get to first base with the second most powerful woman on Earth and now I had the POTUS asking me about alien tail.

  “I want to see if all the females in the universe are as hot as those on your alliance,” he asserted. “Tremendous job by the way. Really incredible.”

  “Thanks?” I said. I’d fought giant spiders and been swallowed by a massive chaos-being but this was by far the most surreal moment I’d had since I’d become a champion. “Um, yeah, so, Mr. President, about going out, we really gotta try to stay in the Champion’s District in order to be safe.”

  “Boring, Marc,” he retorted gruffly. “I want to see hot alien butts and boobs.”

  “Sir--”

  “Right away, boss,” Chaz chirped as he walked into the room as his little blue bulbous antenna popped u
p on his balding head and began to glow. “Red-Light District here we come.”

  “Chaz no!” I tried to yell but then I was enveloped in a black cloud of smoke that smelled like brimstone.

  When the smoke cleared, Chaz, the President of the United States, and I stood in the middle of a garish, neon-filled street lined with alien strip clubs and houses of ill repute.

  “Oh boy,” I muttered and put my face in my hands.

  This was bad. Very very bad.

  “Butts and boobs galore,” Chaz said brightly and full of excitement.

  “Chaz,” the POTUS said as he patted Chaz on the shoulder, “fantastic job. Truly tremend-awesome. That is a new word. I just made it up.”

  “Chaz, dude, you gotta teleport us back right away,” I implored. I had never been to this part of town, because, well, I had absolutely zero reasons to. Why go out for burgers when you had filet mignon at home? “Mr. President, we really need to--”

  “Nonsense,” he cut me off. “We’re here. Here is where we are. Might as well enjoy it.”

  “Okay, but only for a little while,” I tried to bring up my communicator but remembered I’d taken it off when I got home earlier. In fact, I had practically nothing on me but my jumpsuit. Thankfully my credits were coded to my fingerprint, because I had a feeling that we were going to need them.

  I took a good look around, and it was like being inside the advertisement section in an old nudie magazine. Neon holograms blared from every marquee, building front, and doorway, all of them offering some form of carnal pleasure from the mundane titty bar to, well, to more elaborate sexual experiences.

  I was no prude by any standards, but it was overwhelming. Especially because a lot of them were not for humans or human based alien bodies. Try as I might, I couldn’t block the images from searing into my brain permanently.

  “Oh, PoLarr I am so so sorry,” I mumbled as we began to walk down the street. Our Soul Gaze updated every so often, kind of like a new version of software on a computer, and I knew she was not going to be happy.