Damaged: The Complete Set Including DIRTY and FILTHY: A Dark Romance (The Damage Romance Box Set)

by Michelle Horst

  Fuck this! I walk to her room and knock on the door.

  “I’m sleeping.” Her voice comes muffled.

  “No, you’re not,” I say back. “You just spoke to me.”

  “I’m already in bed,” she mumbles.

  I lean back against the door and shove my hands into my pockets. “Fine, then I’ll just stand here and say what I have to say,” I call out.

  It sucks talking to a door, but it’s my own fault.

  “Sophia, I’d love to be the one who gets your heart, to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

  I sink down to the floor and sit flat on my ass. I lean my head back against the door.

  “You deserve a man who will give you the world, a man who will keep you safe, and a man who will love you with all his heart.” I suck in a deep breath and then say, “I joined the army right out of school. I stayed in the army until it broke me. I’ve seen so many people die, many of them by my hand. When I retired, I was a lost and broken man. I really thought that was the end of me. I couldn’t hold a job. I kept losing my temper over the smallest thing. I’d just been fired from my last job, when River found me. She offered me this position, to help her take care of this place. I’ve poured my heart and soul into the sanctuary. It’s all I could do to survive the destructiveness that lives inside of me.”

  I close my eyes as I admit, “It’s there, a living and breathing force. I’m scared it will explode and I don’t want you around when it happens.”

  Suddenly, the door opens and I almost fall backwards. I get up and my eyes wander over her. She’s wearing one of my shirts and I have to admit, she looks fucking hot in it. I wonder when she took it.

  “You gave me the world, Adam. You saved me from that life, and you gave me all of this. You keep me safe. Why do you think I’m still staying here? Why haven’t I moved into the main house? It’s because I feel safe with you. Only you.”

  She takes my hand and holds it in both of hers, the way I use to do when she first got here.

  “I never knew what it felt like to be safe until you. Out of everything that’s happened to me, the fear was the worst. You’re the only thing that stands between me and that fear.”

  She takes a step closer to me, her eyes locked on mine.

  “Let me do the same for you, Adam. You saved me now let me save you. Please, Adam, let’s just try. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to meet new people. I’ll never trust anyone out there. I’ll never be normal. I’ll always be tainted by my past, but the only time I don’t feel filthy is when I’m looking at myself through your eyes. I need you.”

  I stare down at her, and even though she’s a fragile beauty, she’s so much stronger than me.

  I raise my hand to her face, lightly brushing my fingers over her cheeks.

  “On one condition,” I say as I give in to her. I can’t fight her anymore. I don’t want to. “You have to initiate everything between us, Sophia. I won’t make the first move. I need you to take what you want, not do something because you might think it’s what I want. Take it slow and focus on how something makes you feel.”

  “So-” She drags a single finger down my chest, stopping at my belt. I clench my jaw so I don’t reach out to her. “I can have anything I want?”

  There’s a mischievous glint in her eye that brings a smile to my face.

  “Yeah,” I whisper. I’m actually curious to see how she’s going to go about doing certain things.

  “Okay,” she says, and then she walks by me. “I think I’ll have coffee then. You want some?”

  I shake my head and laugh.

  “Yeah,” I mumble.

  I take a seat at the counter and watch her move around the kitchen. My shirt has never looked so good before.

  The first night I saw her, it was hard to ignore her beauty. The fact that she was a slave and everything about her was robotic, gave me strength.

  There’s nothing robotic about her anymore. When I look into her eyes, they’re alive with emotions. Her smiles aren’t fake anymore.

  She places a cup of coffee down in front of me. I watch as she takes a sip and how her throat works as she swallows. She watches me as I drink in her beauty and it makes a faint blush creep up her neck and cheeks.

  She brings her left hand to her cheek and there’s a look of wonder on her face as she presses her fingers to her heated skin. Then she looks at me and smiles.

  No words are needed right now.

  Sophia~

  We’re eating apple pie when I ask, “Have you ever been in love, Miss Ella?”

  “I try to avoid it,” Miss Ella pats her mouth with a napkin and then looks right at me. “Love is like a car accident, child.”

  Resting my elbows on the table, I rest my chin on my hands and frown at her.

  “It hits you hard and out of the blue. By the time you realize that you’re in love, it’s too late to run for the hills. When it’s done with your poor heart; you’re either in a world of pain, or you’re one of the lucky ones who has a great story to tell. Love will either break you or make you.”

  I stare at Miss Ella as what she just said sinks in. It will either break me or make me.

  “What Miss Ella is trying to say is that love can hurt if it’s not returned by the other person, and love can be a beautiful thing if both parties feel the same way.”

  I glance at River. I didn’t see her coming in. What she says makes a lot of sense. It’s what I’ve been feeling with Adam the past weeks. When he avoided me it hurt, but last night felt so incredibly good.

  “Beautiful thing my ass. You don’t have a clue what love is,” Jack suddenly growls.

  He stands up and resting his hands on the table, he towers over us all, looking like he’s about to kill someone.

  “I’m damaged, River, not destroyed.”

  His words slam the breath right from my lungs, and I gasp.

  As he leaves the kitchen, I get up and go after him. I make sure to keep my distance as I follow him down to the chapel.

  When we reach the clearing, I suck in a breath.

  “It’s so beautiful, Jack.” I walk over to a flower and lightly brush my fingers over it. Jack doesn’t even look at me. He starts to work as if I’m not here.

  I bite my bottom lip and try again, “I used to watch you through the window while you worked in the garden.”

  Jack keeps working the ground over, his movements almost aggressive

  “Did you know about David?” he suddenly growls.

  I take a step back and whisper, “Yes.”

  He stops shoveling, but keeps his back to me. When he doesn’t say anything I say, “You know we weren’t allowed to talk about anything that happened there.”

  The words sound empty, even to me.

  I swallow hard and whisper, “I’m sorry, Jack. I’m so sorry.”

  I rush away from him and the guilt I feel for my part in his pain.

  I’m making some coffee for us while Adam is showering.

  There’s a knock at the door and I go to open it. River looks shocked to see me. “Is Adam here?”

  “Yes, he’s just taking a shower. Come in,” I say, smiling softly at her. I don’t get to talk to her much but I’m very grateful for all she’s done for me.

  I walk back to the kitchen. “Would you like some?” I ask while I finish making the coffee for Adam and myself.

  “No, thank you,” she says. “You look good, Sophia.”

  I feel my cheeks heat and I glance at Adam’s closed bedroom door. “Adam is good to me. He’s teaching me what’s right and what’s wrong.”

  “I’m so happy for you.”

  Adam comes walking down the hallway and I take in his body. I love it when he only wears a pair of sweats. He looks at River and then at me, as if he’s worried about me. Just the thought that he might be concerned about me makes my stomach erupt with butterflies.

  “Is there something you needed?” he asks River.

  She shakes her head, the
n says, “I’m sorry for slapping you the other night. You were right and I just didn’t want to hear it. I’m so sorry, Adam.”

  My lips part in surprise. She slapped Adam? My eyes jump to his face and I watch as he smiles. He walks over to her and hugs her. He cups her cheek and his eyes are soft on her. “You deserve to be happy, and so does he.”

  “Thank you for always being there to point me in the right direction.”

  “Always, that’s what friends are for.”

  He locks the door behind River, then comes back to the kitchen. He doesn’t sit down to have his coffee, but instead walks around the counter to where I am.

  He takes hold of my hips and he lifts me onto the counter. I feel nervous and for a moment I let the feeling take over.

  “I missed you today,” he says, his voice hoarse. It makes my insides clench in a way I’ve never felt before.

  “I missed you too,” I whisper back.

  I reach out and touch his chest. I trail my fingers softly over his skin. I watch as his muscles ripple under my touch.

  He brings his hand to my cheek and he slips his fingers into my hair.

  I press my forehead to his and whisper, “I’m scared.”

  “Of what?” he asks.

  “What if we have sex and it’s …” I let the words trail away, not wanting to say them out loud. I’m so scared that when I’m with Adam it won’t be any different from when I was a slave.

  “You’re scared it will be the same?” he asks. I pull back and look into his eyes. There’s so much strength in them, that it overwhelms me. “It will be good because it will be us. It will mean you made a choice.”

  I nod, feeling better about it.

  He steps closer, pressing against my knees. I hesitate for a heartbeat before I open my legs. He steps between then and keeping me imprisoned with his eyes, he leans into me until I feel his breath on my lips.

  My heart starts to pound so fast it makes me feel dizzy.

  He doesn’t kiss me like I expect him to. He keeps perfectly still as his breaths tickle my lips.

  I close my eyes and let every feeling consume me. The nerves. The anticipation. The want. The need. The delicious feeling that comes with knowing that this man sees me. That every ugly part of me is beautiful to him.

  Adam~

  As she closes her eyes, I watch every emotion play over her face.

  Beautiful is such an insufficient word for the way she looks right now. I get so caught up in watching her that everything else fades away.

  Slowly, she starts to lean forward, and the second our lips touch, she flinches. It’s not the reaction I expected. She doesn’t pull back but instead keeps still again.

  I close my eyes and focusing on her, I start to feel what she feels. Her lips tremble against mine. I taste her tears as they fall silently. I feel her breaths as they come faster.

  And then she smiles, and it’s like the sun shining through the rain.

  She places her hands on my chest and starts to kiss me. I have to force myself to keep from taking over. She needs to lead. Her hands creep up to my jaw, then her kiss starts to grow urgent. When her tongue brushes over my bottom lip, I open for her.

  I open a part of me I’ve never opened to anyone. I’m a control freak, but she’s the only one I’ll ever submit to. It’s not a matter of being an alpha. It’s a matter of allowing her to be free.

  When her tongue slips inside my mouth, my cock hardens. She has to feel it, but she doesn’t pull back.

  We get lost in a kiss that’s better than any sex I’ve ever had.

  We’ve decided to have a barbeque so everyone can just be together in a fun environment, especially after Beverly accosted Jack.

  We all just need to chill.

  Tristan is helping me grill the steaks. He flips them over and then says, “The meat should be ready soon,”

  His eyes dart over River’s head. I see Diane and Lizzie walking towards us.

  “Be careful with Diane, she’s fragile,” River says.

  He frowns at her and then huffs, “There’s nothing going on between us. Besides, she’s way too young for me.” I frown at him and if we weren’t surrounded by people I’d punch the shit out of him.

  River chuckles. “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”

  I wait for River to be out of hearing distance, then I punch Tristan against his arm. “Fucker! You told me to get my head out of my ass, but look at you. You still haven’t talked with her have you?”

  “It’s not that easy,” he snaps, his eyes darting to where Diane is. “She’s so withdrawn. How do I even know that she wants to be with me?”

  I give him a dark look. “You fucking talk to her. That’s how you find out. Go over to her and say, ‘Hey, I like you. Any chance you feel the same?’ The worst thing that will happen is her saying no.”

  Tristan laughs at my words of wisdom. “You think it’s that easy?”

  “Pretty much.” I pat him on the back. “Just tell her how you feel, man. It’s a starting point.”

  “Yeah, a starting point. I’ll do it later.”

  I’m sitting with Sophia pressed tightly to my chest, just where she belongs.

  Everyone is having a great time. River and Jack are dancing. The good news of Christopher and Maddie getting married made today perfect.

  “Fire!” Someone screams. I jump up and Sophia almost falls, but I catch her in time. Making sure she’s standing, I run in the direction of the stables.

  “No!” I hear Sophia scream.

  Glancing over my shoulder I see her after me. “No, Sophia. Stay back.”

  She doesn’t seem to hear me. She’s just about to pass me when I grab hold of her. Her eyes dart wildly between the stables and me.

  “Sophia, I need to get the horses. Stay here so I know you’re safe.”

  It looks like she wants to argue, but when I let her go she doesn’t try to run again. When I’m sure she’s going to listen, I run for the stables.

  I run into the stables which are already thick with smoke. Covering my mouth with my shirt, I start to lead the panicked horses out. Christopher and Tristan are right behind me, and we work fast to get the horses to safety.

  I hear a loud crash from the other side of the stables and then a scream. Minutes later Colby comes stumbling past me, coughing and covered in soot.

  “Adam!” I hear River scream, her voice hoarse from the smoke. “Get Colby. He’s got something to do with this.”

  She points in Colby’s direction and I see he’s heading for the trucks. Running, I catch him before he can get away.

  “It wasn’t me! I swear!” He starts to defend himself and that only tells me he did have something to do with the fire. Colby is a guard. Why the fuck would he burn the stables down?

  Seconds later Jack comes walking towards us. He’s carrying a woman. Is that Beverly? She was banned from the sanctuary when she made unwelcome sexual advances on Jack.

  “What the fuck is she doing back here?”

  “Take her,” Jack hisses, then he just drops her on the ground. He runs back towards River and that’s when I see Nanna lying on the ground.

  My heart clenches at the sight of Nanna unconscious. Jack picks her up, and I’m torn between going to her and staying with Colby and Beverly. My eyes follow Jack and River as they take Nanna into the house. They’ll get Doc. There’s not much I can do for her.

  I glare down at the two by my feet. “What the fuck did you do?”

  “I swear man, it was all her idea!” Colby starts to ramble.

  “As if!” Beverly says hoarsely. She shoves at him and I watch the two get into a full blown argument over whose fault it was.

  Out of the corner of my eye I see Christopher and Tristan handling everything. I open the truck nearest to us and take some cable ties from the glove compartment. It’s a struggle but I get their hands tied. The last thing I need right now is a fight.

  Doc pulls up to the house.

  “Ella!” he shouts
as he rushes into the house.

  I yank Colby up by the front of his shirt, and throw a punch. His head snaps back from the force and fear flickers over his face. He better be scared.

  “Fucker, you could’ve killed someone,” I spit the words at him, then I drop him like the sack of shit he is.

  “How did she know where the plantation was?” I demand. “You were supposed to make sure she got on a bus. You fucking betrayed us.”

  “It wasn’t like that!” Colby shouts. “Things just happened between us. You know how it is, man. You like a girl and she likes you. We’ve been dating for a couple of months and I just wanted to show her a good time. I took her out a few times, but that’s all. I swear. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”

  “What’s going on here?” River suddenly asks behind me.

  I point to the two on the floor.

  “From what I understand, Beverly and Colby are in some sort of relationship. Apparently, he’d been sneaking her off the property whenever she felt like she wanted to go to town. It’s been going on for months.” I can’t believe I didn’t notice any of this. “I’m sorry, River, I should have known.”

  I shove my hands through my hair, feeling that all too familiar rage burning inside of my chest. I feel like shit for not noticing Colby and Beverly sneaking out. If I was doing my job, none of this would’ve happened.

  “Just let us go,” Beverly moans. “We won’t tell a soul where you are.”

  I lean closer to River, and whisper, “You know what we have to do. They can’t talk. We have too many lives that depend on us.”

  She shakes her head which only makes me glare at her. If it’s between us and the two on the floor, it’s a pretty easy decision to make.

  “No, I won’t have any part in murder. There has to be another way.”

  “You can’t just off us,” Colby screams. “River, please! I swear we never wanted to hurt anyone. Just let us go. We won’t talk. We’ll disappear. I swear.”

  “We gave you the choice. This is all on you,” I growl. “You knew what would happen if you turned on us. I told you that the day you started working here.”