The Cruel World

by Scarlett Haven

  He nods. “I understand your loyalty. But I can see the hesitancy in your face. Take today and think about it a little bit more.”

  I nod, letting him know I will think about it, but I have already made up my mind. There is no way that I could leave my team. They’ve become like a family to me. How could I survive without Kal’s flirting and Alek’s teasing? I’m not even sure what I would do without having West around to brood. And Ian… well, someday he will understand why I did what I did. He will realize that we’re better off as friends. And when he realizes it, I want to be there with him—with all of them.

  Joining Jensen’s team would be the easy way out, and I’ve never taken the easy route before. I won’t start now.

  Michael Sinclair stands to his feet, walking away from the house. Once he’s out of sight, I knock on the back door.

  Jensen opens up. “Roxy, hey.”

  He still has a slight bruise under his eyes. I motion to his face. “Sorry about that.”

  “I deserved it.” He opens the door wider. “Come in.”

  The house that they’re staying at is pretty similar to ours on the inside, but it is a little bit bigger. I’m not surprised—they’re an older team. My team is technically still in training for another five months or so. But I’m still ready for the days when we have a nicer condo. I’m not sure how much longer I can handle staying the in the tiny space we’re in.

  “The guys will be down in a minute,” Jensen says, pulling a waffle from the iron and adding it to the stack. “Do you want to cut the strawberries.”

  I grin, shaking my head. “Sorry, I can’t. I’m allergic.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “You can’t cut a strawberry if you’re allergic?”

  I hop up on the barstool at the island. “I can’t. I’m severely allergic though. I keep an EpiPen, just in case, but I have to go to the hospital if I eat one.”

  “Wow,” he says, grabbing the container and putting it in the fridge.

  “You guys can still eat them,” I say.

  “Nah. If you have to suffer, we’ll suffer with you.” He grins at me over his shoulder before pouring more batter into the waffle iron.

  I laugh, shaking my head. “When I told West I was allergic to strawberries, he ate an entire carton in front of me as some kind of torture. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I don’t like strawberries anyway.”

  “Sounds like West.”

  It really does.

  At least West’s grumpy disposition isn’t just because of me.

  Jensen turns away from the waffle iron to look at me. “I really do hope you will consider our offer to join our team.”

  “I’m thinking about it,” I promise him.

  He grins. “You’ve already decided to stay on your own team.”

  “Yeah, kind of.” I chew on my lip. “I don’t want to offend you, Cole, or Rook. Truly, I appreciate the offer—it’s nice to feel like I’m not a complete failure. But if things were hard for you on your team, would you leave?”

  He rubs at the scruff on his jaw. “No, I would never leave because things were hard. If I did, I wouldn’t make a very good Royal.”

  He’s right.

  And that’s why I’ve decided to stay with West, Kal, Ian, and Alek. Things might be hard right now, but I know they won’t always be. I’ve seen glimpses of the team we can be once we work through our differences. Together, we’re going to change the world.

  Are you trying to kill me?

  I hang out with Jensen, Cole, and Rook later than I intend to, so it’s nearly noon when I come back. Part of me hopes that the guys will be gone, just because I don’t want to deal with them. I know it’s bad, but after everything that happened, I just don’t have the strength to get into another argument with them.

  To my complete and utter surprise, all the guys are there when I get back and the place smells like… chocolate.

  “I’m calling a meeting,” West says, as soon as I walk through the door.

  A meeting usually means bad things—at least for me. But I’m suspicious about the smell in the house. I raise an eyebrow at West when I see a pan of brownies on the counter.

  “Did you bake?” I ask, fully expecting somebody else to pop out and claim that they made brownies.

  He nods. “Apology brownies.”

  Apology brownies? I’ve officially heard it all.

  I lean my hip against the island, looking at him. “I have no words.”

  He takes a step closer. “It’s just… my way of saying sorry, that’s all. I know that I’ve been kind of hard of you lately, and I thought this would be a good way to show you how much I appreciate you being on the team.”

  I’m not sure what to think right now, but I’m not going to turn down a free brownie.

  “If by being hard you mean being an absolute butthole,” I mumble under my breath.

  “Oooh can I have one?” Kal asks when he sees West cutting the brownie.

  The brownies look a little bit crispy. West has never baked or cooked anything in his life, so I’m not surprised that they’re burnt, but I won’t let that deter me.

  My heart warms as I imagine West baking brownies for me. I can’t believe he did that—he hates doing mundane things like this. It’s why I always go grocery shopping with him. He got kicked out of Publix last time he went alone—I still have no idea how he managed that one. So the fact that he took the time to make brownies for me is very sweet.

  Kal and Alek crowd into the kitchen to grab a brownie. Ian stays on his laptop on the couch, but shouts for Kal to bring him a brownie back. I try not to be hurt by his words knowing that Ian wouldn’t get off his computer to get a brownie even if we were talking—it’s not because he doesn’t want to be in the same room as me. Though, that’s definitely true too.

  West gives me the brownie first and looks expectedly at me.

  Okay, he’s definitely being weird.

  “Kal, you take a bite first,” I say warily. “I don’t trust West.”

  Certainly, he used salt instead of sugar or maybe he added some laxative to the mixture. There is no way he made these out of the goodness of his heart.

  Does West Newman even have a heart?

  West roll his eyes, grabs the brownie from my hand, and takes a huge bite right from the middle.

  “It’s fine,” he says around a huge bite of brownie.

  Okay… at least now if I get massive diarrhea from this, so will he.

  “Fine.” I put the brownie into my mouth, surprised that it’s actually good. Really good. It’s a little crunchy from being overcooked, but also soft and gooey. It’s the perfect texture for brownies. There is also another flavor in it that I can’t quite place.

  “This is awesome,” Kal says, chewing his brownie too. “West, you’ve been hiding your baking skills from us all. I expect this every day now.”

  “What is that tangy flavor?” I ask, swallowing my first bite.

  West grins, but there is this look in his eyes that I can’t read.

  As it turns out, West doesn’t have to answer my question because I know. I know because my throat starts closing up. And now the evil look in his eyes make sense.

  “Strawberries.”

  I hear his response, but I’m not looking at him. I’m too busy holding myself up on the counter, trying desperately to get oxygen into my lungs.

  “Calm the dramatics, Princess.”

  I don’t even care what West is saying as I stumble toward my purse, digging around for my EpiPen. I dump all the contents onto the floor, desperately searching. When I spot it, I grab it, yanking the lid off. I jam the needle into my leg, finally able to get a deep breath. It’s still difficult, but I don’t feel like I’m about to die from lack of oxygen anymore.

  I look up and see four sets of eyes looking, all looking completely terrified.

  “Hospital,” I wheeze out.

  There isn’t a second of hesitation. West grabs the keys from the hook, Alek sweeps me into his arms,
carrying me, Kal opens the front door for me. Even Ian hobbles after us to the Jeep.

  Alek sits me down in the front seat, and everybody jumps into the car at record speed. I just rest my head against the headrest and West races the car off toward the hospital.

  “Are you trying to kill me?”

  West flinches at my words.

  But what can he say? He knew I was allergic to strawberries and he deliberately put them into the brownies.

  And what were the rest of the guys thinking when he did that? They all knew.

  I seriously thought West making brownies me for was sweet. Little did I know that he was literally trying to kill me.

  When we get to the hospital, all the guys jump out of the car. Alek carries me into the hospital, and I don’t argue with him carrying me. I don’t feel like walking right now. As soon as they hear I had an allergic reaction I am put into a room and the doctors and nurses come in, shooing the guys away. I get one last look at them before the curtain closes.

  Kal looks at me with his hands in his hair. He’s pulling at the roots, which is something he only does when he’s really upset. Alek is pale—paler than his normal pasty white skin. I’m kind of worried about him, actually. Maybe he needs to be admitted too. Ian’s shoulders are tight and he blinks rapidly, his chin trembling. It makes me think he actually cares, which is a good feeling. And West… his shoulders are slumped forward and he clenches his right fist over his chest. His entire body is trembling. I want to say he deserves the guilt he’s probably feeling right now, but I can’t even bring myself to feel vindicated. Looking at him like that makes my chest ache. I want nothing more than to pull him into the room with me and hug him.

  The curtain snaps shut before I can do anything stupid, like tell the doctors that West is my fiancé and I couldn’t possibly part from him. Now that would be dumb. Dying or not, the guys would never let me live that one down.

  Still, I can’t resist yelling through the curtain.

  “West, if I die, I’m going to haunt you for the rest of your life!”

  I do hear laughter from the other side, but I don’t hear West laughing.

  “You’re not going to die, Miss Villareal,” a doctor tells me.

  And I know I’m not—this hospital may be a small one, but these are Spy School doctors. They’re some of the best trained doctors in the world. And me? I only had an allergic reaction. I’ve had this exact reaction many times before because of strawberries. My mom conveniently forgot I was allergic to strawberries many times in my life.

  I won’t be dying today. West will have many more chances tomorrow though.

  I can’t take it anymore.

  I’m lying in a hospital bed, staring at the ceiling.

  The doctors want to keep me here for a little while, so they did put me into a room, but I should be out before tonight.

  While I lie there, I have time to think about what happened today. I have time to think about how the guys on my team almost killed me.

  That offer from Jensen’s team is looking more amazing than ever.

  I’m not a quitter, I know that. But this is different. West and the guys knew I was allergic to strawberries and they still put them in the brownies. What did they think would happen? Is this their way of telling me they want me to go? I might not have much of a choice anymore.

  There is a knock on my door and I sigh, knowing it’s probably the guys. I saw the look of horror in their eyes when they were forced from the ER. I don’t really think they meant to try and kill me.

  “Come in,” I yell at the closed door.

  The heavy door is pushed open with a loud creak. Kal walks in first, which is a good choice on their part. I’m less likely to throw something at him. Then again, I don’t know his part in the whole brownie thing—maybe he didn’t know. At least Kal has the decency to look guilty with his head down as he comes in.

  Ian is behind Kal on his crutches. After him avoiding eye contact with me for over a week, he’s finally looking at me with concern in his eyes. His eyebrows are scrunched down.

  Alek follows Ian, and Alek still looks pale. His worried eyes scan me as he comes in and he seems to relax when he sees that I’m awake and seemingly okay.

  West is last. I have no idea what to think as he enters, his shoulders slumped forward. I can see the guilt clear on his face as he comes in. During my time on the team, West has done a lot of horrible things to me, but this one tops the list.

  Kal lifts a hand and waves at me. “Hey.”

  I push a piece of hair behind my ear, my hospital bracelet falling down my arm at the movement. “Hey.”

  He rocks himself up on his heels. “You’re alive.”

  I nod. “No thanks to you guys.”

  The guys all shift uncomfortably, but they deserve it.

  West comes closer to my bed—the last one of them I want near me right now. “Princess, look—”

  I cut him off. “Don’t call me Princess, West. You tried to kill me.”

  “I didn’t,” he insists.

  Narrowing my eyes. “You knew I was allergic to strawberries! And then you called me dramatic when I couldn’t breathe! What were you thinking?”

  “I didn’t know it was that bad.” West lowers his gaze. “I thought you’d just puff up or something, or maybe get a rash. I didn’t think it would do all that it did.”

  I wave my hands in front of me. “Do you even hear yourself? Even if you didn’t mean to kill me, you did mean to make me miserable. Why would you want that?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. I was mad at you because Rook asked you to join their team. I thought that if you got some kind of rash he’d finally leave you alone.”

  I put my thumb and index finger over my nose, gently squeezing it. West is giving me a headache. “Do you even hear yourself?” I look up at him, shaking my head. “I was always going to tell them no. I told you that, but you didn’t believe me. You don’t trust me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I shrug. “I don’t care anymore. It’s too late to say you’re sorry.”

  “Don’t say that.” West’s voice breaks as he says it, which causes me to meet his gaze.

  My breath catches in my throat as I realize that West Newman, the hard guy who never shows any emotion, is on the verge of tears. But I can’t let his reaction sway me. Not with this.

  I look down, chewing on my lip. “I don’t know if I can be on a team with somebody who distrusts me so much. I was going to tell them no, but I might have to tell them yes.”

  At those words, the rest of the guys come up to the side of my bed.

  “No,” Kal says.

  “Don’t go,” Alek says.

  “Please stay,” Ian says.

  I’m surprised that Ian is asking me to stay. I look at him first.

  “I thought you’d be happy if I left.” I raise an eyebrow.

  He shrugs one shoulder. “I might be mad at you right now, but that doesn’t mean I want you to leave the team. You’re good for us.”

  Those words from Ian mean a lot. I’ve missed my friend.

  But…

  “Did you know about the strawberries?”

  He lowers his gaze, not saying anything. It’s the only answer that I need.

  He knew. Ian knew. And he still let me eat them.

  Next, I look at Alek. “Did you know?”

  Alek nods. “Yeah, but I didn’t know how bad your allergy was.”

  At least he’s honest.

  I sigh, turning to Kal next. I’m scared to hear his answer. Out of all the guys, I’ve always been closest to Kal. He doesn’t get mad at me over petty things. Even after I got him shot, he still was my friend.

  But I don’t even have to ask Kal if he knew about the strawberries because the guilt is all over his face.

  “I’m sorry, Roxy,” Kal says.

  Tears press against the back of my eyes and my lip quivers without my permission.

  I hate crying, especially in front of the guy
s. But it seems like crying is all I do lately. I hate that these guys have turned me into a sobbing mess.

  “Why do you all hate me so much?” My voice breaks as I ask the question. “What did I do?”

  I need to know. Because I can’t figure it out. The only thing that comes to mind is when I got Kal shot—yes, it was horrible. But they all seemed to get over that. We seemed to move past it. But maybe we haven’t. Maybe they’re still holding a grudge.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong, Princess,” West says.

  My tears stop as I glare at him. “I told you to stop calling me that. You don’t get to call me that after you almost killed me.”

  My words only make me sob harder.

  West almost killed me.

  I can’t believe I had feelings for this guy. I really thought I was falling in love with him.

  And still, even after everything, the feelings are still there. Which is sick.

  Maybe I really should join the other team. I should get away from West and forget the way I feel about him before he really does kill me.

  “Roxy.” Kal takes a step closer. He reaches out a hand toward me but pulls it back at the last second. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. None of us did. We love you and we want you on our team.”

  I do look up at him and I see the pain in his eyes. “I just… I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take how everybody treats me—so hot and cold all the time. Every morning I wake up not knowing if you guys will even talk to me that day.” I turn to West. “You’re the worst.”

  West lowers his head. “I know. And I’m sorry.”

  My chest hurts so bad. Having the guys here only makes it worse.

  “Can you guys leave?” I ask. “I’ll call if I need a ride, I just need a little time by myself.”

  “Roxy,” Kal protests.

  I hold up a hand to stop him. “Kal, please.”

  He frowns. “Okay, fine. We’ll leave.”

  West grunts his disapproval. “But you’re not leaving our team.”

  I keep my mouth shut, knowing that this is my decision. If I truly want to leave, which I do, there isn’t a thing West can do about it. I think he knows it too by the way he looks at me. His words are hard, but I can see the pain in his eyes.