A Purrfect Gnomeful (The Mysteries of Max Book 24)

by Nic Saint

  “We could try to find this UPS guy,” Chase suggested. “I mean, is it possible that Buster saw a man who looked like a UPS guy but wasn’t?”

  “He says he was wearing the brown uniform with the letters UPS,” said Odelia.

  Uncle Alec rubbed his face. He looked haggard. When an investigation wasn’t going well, he often looked as if he’d slept in his clothes and hadn’t had taken a shower in days.

  “Look, I’m going to charge Dan.” When Odelia started to protest, he held up his hand. “I’m sorry, but I have no choice. I have a witness who saw him standing over the guy with the murder weapon.”

  “A witness who died,” Odelia pointed out. “In suspicious circumstances, I might add.”

  “I disagree. The woman fell down the stairs. No indication she was pushed. None whatsoever.”

  “I don’t think he did it,” said Odelia stubbornly. “Dan simply isn’t that kind of person.”

  “You heard what Maria Power said. People tend to act weird when she’s involved. Men go nuts, and so do women. And I think Heather Gallop had something very valuable to offer Dan, and when they couldn’t agree on the price, he killed her and simply took it.”

  “Oh, so now you don’t think she was his girlfriend and he killed her because she wanted to break up with him or because she was pregnant?”

  “No, I don’t think she was his girlfriend.”

  “Did you manage to get in touch with her folks?” asked Chase.

  “Yeah, I did. And get this. She used to work for Rupert Finkelstein’s daughter.”

  Both Odelia and Chase sat up a little straighter at this. “The director?” Chase said.

  “One and the same. Finkelstein’s daughter died a couple of months ago, and it’s not inconceivable that Heather managed to lay her hands on something very valuable indeed.” he wiggled his bushy brows. “A copy of his famous version of Romeo and Juliet.”

  “And that she came to Hampton Cove to interest Dan in that same copy,” said Chase, nodding.

  “Which sounds to me like a motive for murder, wouldn’t you agree? Big collector and fan like Dan? I’m sure a guy like that just might stoop to murder for the chance to lay his hands on the most sought-after movie of all time. A copy of the one and only Gnomeo.”

  27

  It was a long way back to town, especially since we were used to going by car, and now had to rely on our own four paws to carry us home. Add to that the fact that a mouse’s paws are even smaller than a cat’s, and it was slow going at first. Then Dooley had the great idea to suggest that Elsa jump on his back and hitch a ride, and so she did.

  I wasn’t entirely at ease after that. It’s bad enough for a cat to have to travel in the company of a mouse, but even worse to carry one on one’s back.

  If the cat community of Hampton Cove got word of this our names would be mud. Of course they were mud already, after our unsuccessful fight with Hector and Helga.

  Very humiliating for a cat to have to declare defeat against a couple of mice.

  “So how was it to live with the most famous actress in the world?” I asked.

  “Oh, I didn’t have all that much to do with Maria,” said Elsa. “She kept herself to herself, and so did I. But Boomer sometimes told me stories about her.”

  “What kind of stories?”

  “He found her a little sad,” said Elsa. “Apparently she had a few husbands who didn’t live up to her expectations and left her broken-hearted. So now she prefers to live alone. Well, with a dozen staff to cater to her every need, of course. So she’s not really alone.”

  “She was married a lot of times, was she?”

  “Oh, sure. Eight husbands, at last count, and all of them up to no good. Swindlers, fraudsters, cheaters, bullies, drunks and druggies, according to Boomer. She never had much luck in that department.”

  “Poor woman,” said Dooley.

  “No, poor she most definitely is not. She has a nice fortune safely tucked away.”

  “We haven’t told you this, but we’re investigating a murder,” I said. “Or in fact two murders, and maybe even three.”

  “Murders?” said Elsa, her eyes widening in surprise. “Is that why you were at the house?”

  “Yeah, our human is a reporter, and amateur sleuth, and her boyfriend is a detective, so they were there to interview Maria. Though I can’t imagine what they hoped to find. She has a certain involvement with the case, I suppose, but not directly.”

  “A woman was murdered by Odelia’s boss,” Dooley explained. “And then yesterday he murdered a man, and then he probably murdered another woman.”

  “That’s a lot of murder,” said Elsa, deeply impressed.

  “I don’t think Dan murdered the cleaner,” I said. “He was already in police custody by the time she fell down the stairs.”

  “He could have popped over and killed her before he was arrested,” said Dooley.

  “No, he was apprehended at the hotel, remember? But anyway, Daisy Rayo presumably wasn’t the victim of a crime but of her own clumsy feet. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck,” I explained for Elsa’s sake.

  “Oh, right,” said the tiny mouse with the predilection for fine cheeses. I’d have to let Odelia know she needed to stock up on Gouda, Cheddar and Brie. And cream cheese, of course. To make Elsa feel at home. “So your human’s boss is a murderer?” she asked.

  “Yeah, looks like,” I said. “Though Odelia isn’t convinced. She thinks Dan may have been set up.”

  And he could very well have been. By this mysterious UPS man who wasn’t a UPS man. Though back at the hotel it seemed clear that Dan was the culprit. At any rate, I thought it was time that Odelia brought us up to speed on the investigation. There were gaps in my knowledge of what exactly had happened and what discoveries she’d made.

  I blamed this entirely on my preoccupation with Hector and Helga. I simply didn’t have my head in the sleuthing game at this point, and I sincerely hoped Elsa could help us out so I could dedicate my time to helping my human catch killers again.

  A cat suddenly stole out of the undergrowth by the side of the road and stared at us.

  “Is that… a mouse?” the cat asked, incredulous.

  I immediately recognized this passerby as Clarice.

  “Um… yes,” I said hesitantly.

  The raggedy cat barked an incredulous laugh. “Are you seriously carrying a mouse on your back, Dooley?”

  “Her name is Elsa,” said Dooley pleasantly. “And she’s going to help us chase away the mice in our house.”

  Clarice frowned and thought about this for a moment. “I think I see what you’re doing. Very clever, Dooley. Use one evil to destroy another evil. Devious. Very devious.”

  “For your information, I’m not evil,” said Elsa.

  “No, Elsa is very nice,” said Dooley. “She gave us some very tasty cheese to eat.”

  Clarice rolled her eyes. “So she bought you. I should have known it was the mouse who’s the clever one, and not you two. Well, carry on, I suppose. It’s your funeral.”

  And with these words, she slunk back into the undergrowth and disappeared.

  “We should have asked her to help us with Hector and Helga,” said Dooley.

  “She would have said no,” I said. “Brutus already asked her and she refused.”

  “Maybe she changed her mind.”

  “Doubtful.”

  “Was that a friend of yours?” asked Elsa.

  “Yeah, Clarice. She’s a feral cat,” I said.

  “She’s very nice, and very sweet if you get to know her,” said Dooley.

  “Thanks, but I don’t think I want to,” said Elsa with a shiver. “She gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

  “Yeah, Clarice has that effect on mice,” I said. “And cats. And people. Well, pretty much on everyone, I guess.”

  “She eats rats whole,” said Dooley admiringly. “She simply gobbles them up and swallows them down. You have to see it to believe it.”


  “Oh, I believe it,” said Elsa, who clearly wasn’t a fan of Clarice.

  And so we continued our long trek into town. I sincerely hoped that next time Odelia would stick around long enough to take us back by car. Not much fun to have a human with a car if she’s going to desert you in the middle of nowhere, I mean to say.

  28

  Odelia had just stepped out of the police station when a woman approached her. She looked in her late fifties, with a pronounced nose and chin, large glasses and a slight overbite.

  “Odelia Poole?” asked the woman.

  “Yes,” said Odelia, stopping in her tracks.

  “Um… could I please have a word with you, Miss Poole? It concerns the Gnomeos.”

  “Of course,” said Odelia immediately, and gestured to the town square, where a couple of benches had been placed for people to repose and enjoy the, frankly quite hideous, statue of one of Hampton Cove’s former mayors.

  They took a seat in the shade and the woman looked around nervously for a moment. She was dressed in a gray woolen suit that looked absolutely uncomfortable and entirely too hot for the kind of weather they’d been having. Even now the sun was out in full force, and even in her flowery summer cotton dress Odelia was feeling hot.

  “My name is Jacqueline Goossens,” said the woman, pushing her glasses up her nose. “And I’m a member of the Gnomeos. Have been since its inception. I’m also a member of the Maria Power Society.”

  “Oh, so you’re in both clubs?”

  “Yes, which is perhaps a little strange, as the heads of the clubs have been mortal enemies for years. The thing is… I read about the murder of Jack Warner, and that Dan Goory was arrested?”

  Odelia nodded encouragingly. “And you have information that can help Dan?”

  “Oh, no,” said the woman. “I have information that is probably damning for him.” She looked a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I know he’s your boss and all, and you probably don’t want to hear this, but…” She swallowed uncomfortably, then went on, “The thing is, I would really prefer not to go to the police. I don’t care for the attention, and this case is going to attract a lot of attention.”

  “You want me to promise not to talk to the police?”

  “Yes, very much so. It’s just that… I don’t know what to do with this information. I feel I should probably share it with someone, but since I’d prefer not to go to the police…” She gave Odelia a helpless look.

  “That’s all right. If you tell me, I’ll make sure to tell them. And I’ll keep your name out of it if you like.”

  Jacqueline looked distinctly relieved. “Oh, thank you, Miss Poole. Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome. Now what did you want to tell me?”

  “Well, a couple of days ago we had a meeting of the Gnomeos. One of our monthly meetings. We mainly discussed the upcoming retrospective, of course, and the contents of our next club magazine, but then Dan said something that caught my attention. He told me that very soon he’d be in a situation where he’d be able to best the Maria Power Society once and for all. He said he was about to come into the possession of an item that would blow Jack Warner and his Society out of the water, and make people leave his club in droves and join the Gnomeos.

  “When I asked him what this object was, he merely gave me a meaningful look and whispered that it had something to do with the name of our club.”

  “The Gnomeos.”

  Jacqueline nodded. “And then the day before yesterday I saw him on the street as I was walking past his office and he told me the meeting had been arranged for the next morning, and it wouldn’t be long now before he had the object in his possession. He seemed very excited about the prospect. ‘Come what may,’ he told me, ‘I’m making history tomorrow.’”

  “He said that?”

  “Yes, those exact words. And then of course when I heard about the death of that young woman, I couldn’t help but remember his words, and wonder if something had happened that had made him lose his temper with her.”

  “You think he killed her.”

  Jacqueline shrugged. “I don’t know Dan as a violent man, but he’s always been extremely passionate about Maria Power and anything to do with the Gnomeos.”

  “That’s what my uncle thinks,” Odelia confided. “Heather Gallop used to work for Rupert Finkelstein’s daughter, who died a couple of months ago. He thinks it’s conceivable that Heather got hold of a copy of the Gnomeo movie and offered to sell it to Dan. But they argued over the price, and so Dan murdered her and stole the movie.”

  Jacqueline’s eyes had gone wide. “You really think this Heather Gallop had a copy of Gnomeo in her possession?”

  “I have no idea. It’s just a theory at this point, and Dan denies everything. He says he never even met the woman.”

  “But he does admit that she promised to sell him the movie?”

  “No. He claims that when Heather made the appointment she didn’t mention a movie. She only mentioned the word Gnomeo. But it was enough to pique Dan’s interest.”

  “It must have been the movie,” said Jacqueline. “It simply must have been.”

  “Yes, it certainly looks that way.”

  Odelia stared at the statue for a moment, wondering how a movie made several decades ago could possibly cause so much trouble now.

  “Look, please don’t tell Dan I told you,” said Jacqueline. “I like him very much. He’s a decent man, and I admire his passion for the Gnomeos.”

  “I won’t tell him,” Odelia promised.

  “We’re actually thinking about organizing a meeting of both fan clubs,” said Jacqueline. “We think it’s time to bury the hatchet. Now that Jack is gone, and Dan is in prison, the members feel we should all come together, and end this silly feud.”

  “Yes, it seems silly to have two clubs dedicated to the same thing,” Odelia agreed.

  “Thanks for listening,” said Jacqueline with a smile. She placed her hand on Odelia’s arm. “I really needed that.”

  “No problem,” said Odelia, though she wasn’t happy that Jacqueline had given her one more reason to doubt Dan’s innocence. But the facts were what they were. Even her loyalty to her boss wasn’t going to change that.

  They both got up, and Jacqueline said, “Do you want to come? To the joint meeting, I mean? Club meetings are always a lot of fun, and this one is going to be one for the books. The very first meeting of the two clubs, united after all these years.”

  “Yeah, sure,” said Odelia. “I would like that.”

  Jacqueline smiled. “Thanks so much, Odelia.”

  Odelia watched her walk away. At least something good was going to come out of all of this. From now on Hampton Cove would have one Maria Power fan club instead of two. And no more fighting.

  And as she set foot for the office, she wondered if it was possible that Dan was innocent of the first murder—that UPS guy looked like a strong suspect indeed—and guilty of Jack Warner’s murder?

  At any rate, her boss was in big trouble. And so was the newspaper he’d founded.

  29

  We finally arrived home, and as Dooley took Elsa into the house, to get acquainted with things, I lingered outside for a moment. It was the sound of solid objects hitting other solid objects that had attracted my attention, and so I decided to go in search of the source of the sound, as it seemed to be coming from Marge and Tex’s garden.

  Cats may not have a reputation as guardians of their humans’ property, but I beg to differ. I like to keep an eye on things as much as I can, and so it was with a sneaking suspicion that nefarious activities were underway that I stealthily snuck into the next garden and glanced around, keeping low and as much out of sight as a big-boned blorange cat can.

  I saw nothing out of the ordinary, though, but then I heard it again: a loud clacking sound, as if someone was hitting a brick against a second brick.

  So I snuck in the direction of Ted and Marcie’s backyard, and took a peek through the hole in th
e fence that has served us so well in the past. And that’s when I saw it: someone was chucking garden gnomes over the back fence into the Trappers’ garden, all of them falling on top of a growing pile of gnomes!

  “What the…” I muttered as I sat stunned, looking at this strange phenomenon.

  I couldn’t see who the culprit was, as he or she was hidden on the other side of the green plastic screen Ted has erected to lend himself and his family a measure of privacy. On the other side is the same field that stretches along all of our backyards, and which is easily accessed by anyone who knows how to climb a fence, which the owner of the field once erected to keep his sheep, who he likes to put to graze there, from running off.

  Tack! One more gnome hit the pile, and in the process lost part of his pointy hat.

  I don’t like gnomes as a rule, but I felt distinctly sorry for the droll little tykes now. This was no way to treat these oddly shaped and extravagantly colored creatures.

  Suddenly, from the house, a cry rang out. “Oi!” It was Ted, who must have observed the same phenomenon and now came hurrying out of the house.

  Immediately there was a rustle on the other side of the fence, and a loud giggle, and the supply of gnomes tumbling to earth instantly dried up.

  “What do you think you’re doing!” Ted yelled, shaking his fist.

  But before he had reached the back of the garden and could peek over the fence, Tex’s loud voice behind me yelled, “Gotcha!”

  “Tex!” Ted said, taken aback. “Look what they did. They’re throwing gnomes now!”

  “Horse manure, Ted. Admit it, man. You’ve been out stealing again.”

  “What?!”

  “You are an inveterate thief, Ted! I recognize that big fat one over there. I’ll eat my shirt if it doesn’t belong to Kinnard Daym. Pride of his collection.”