Blue Moon (Blue Devils Book 2)
Page 8
“Then what is it, babe? Just tell me.”
She closed her eyes, then opened them slowly. “I’m . . . a virgin. I still want to have sex with you tonight, but I just thought you should know that I may not be that good. So, you have to go slow with me.”
What the fuck . . .
A virgin.
My jaw literally dropped open. The thought had never occurred to me. And here I was about to sleep with her and never see her again.
What kind of monster was I?
I couldn’t even formulate my thoughts. I had so many questions. But I just sat there like an idiot shaking my head in disbelief.
Finally, I said, “You’re a virgin?”
Brilliant, Sawyer. She just told you that.
“Yup.”
“How? I mean, you’re beautiful. You’re twenty-two. You’ve never had a serious boyfriend?” I knew her age from the bio on her resume. I had that thing fucking memorized. Just like I had the image of her beautiful heart-shaped face burned in my mind.
“I had one, but he was gay and eventually ended up coming out. And I mean, I’ve dated around but never too seriously. In high school, I was focused on getting into a good school and winning pageants. And after my boyfriend and I broke up at Stanford, between classes, charity work, growing my following, and pageant duties, I never had time to date. I guess I spend more time online than with people in real life.”
This was precisely why I hated social media—all the connections were fake. What Sol and I had this weekend, our affection toward each other was all real.
“This isn’t a religious thing?”
“No. I mean, I’m Catholic, but that’s not the reason.” She paused. “I didn’t want to wait until I was married or anything like that. But I thought it would be nice to wait until I was in love and in a stable relationship.”
Fuck! I needed a drink.
What the fuck was she doing with me in this hotel room?
I took her hand in mine. “Are you in love with me?” She burst into laughter, and I felt a little deflated, but at least I didn’t have to worry she’d be hurt when I left tomorrow for Seattle.
“No, of course not. We’ve only known each other for a few days. I think you’re gorgeous, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since we met. At first, I thought you were just a cocky jerk, but now I see that it’s just façade you present to the world. You’re a good man, Sawyer—kind, caring, sensitive. I liked the way you took care of me in the plane and after the flight. And the way you interacted with those kids at the show. I think I could fall in love with you if we spent more time together. But that’ll never happen. You’re leaving tomorrow, and I’m staying here. It is what it is. So, let’s just enjoy the time we have left.” She stroked my arm making my already hard cock throb.
I was dumbfounded. What was happening right now? What did she see in me that I didn’t see in myself? Could I really become the man she thought I was? Did I even want to?
I closed my eyes and took a moment.
The shocking answer was yes.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to run away from a woman. Usually, one-night stands were full of awkwardness and regret. I saw the sad looks on these women’s faces when they asked when I would be in town next. When I would answer, “not for a year or two,” I would always get a reluctant nod. I didn’t want to break anyone’s heart, but my life was what it was.
I wanted to be the man Sol thought I was, though I doubted that she was right. Maybe I was just an arrogant motherfucker who could never get close to a woman and would always push her away. But maybe, just maybe, I was how she saw me—a decent man.
I wanted to try for her.
She gripped my thigh. “I still want to sleep with you tonight. Honestly, I’ve wanted that since we met, but I decided for sure earlier today. I’m ready.”
But I’m not. God help me. I was about to turn down sex for the first time in my life. The even bigger irony was that I had never wanted to have sex with anyone more than I wanted to sleep with Sol.
I kissed her softly, enjoying the simplicity of this kiss. But then I took her hands in mine and sat down in front of her.
“I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.”
She blinked back tears.
“Hey, don’t cry, babe. It’s not that I don’t want to, because believe me, I do. I want to so badly. In fact, I’ve never wanted to have sex with anyone more than I want to have sex with you.”
Her face widened into a smile. “Then, come on.” She straddled me on the bed and wrapped her hand around the back of my neck, sending chills down my spine. She kissed me again and pressed her pussy against my cock. “What’s stopping you? I want you; you want me. I won’t regret it.”
I wanted to throw her down on the bed and make love to her all night long. Fuck her so hard that she’d be mine forever. Make her come. Knowing that she had only ever been with me would be the best gift I could ever have.
If I could be worthy of her love, maybe I could love myself.
“Yes, you will. You’ll regret it tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, you will regret it in two weeks from now or two months from now. You just told me you wanted to wait until you were in love and in a stable relationship with someone. That makes perfect sense. I think you should do that.”
She pursed her lips and nodded her head really fast as if she was going to cry. “I understand. You’re right. It’s probably for the best. I wanted you to be my first, though. I’m crazy about you.”
Don’t worry, honey. I’ll be your first, just not yet.
“Oh, babe, I’m going to take your virginity. I’m not going to let another man touch you. But not until you tell me you love me.”
Her eyes opened wide, and I stared at her long, dark lashes. Could this woman really be mine?
“What are you talking about? You said that you don’t have relationships. Ever. Plus, you’re leaving for Seattle tomorrow, and I’m staying here.”
“Yup, I’m going to Seattle, but you’re coming with me.” I exhaled. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to ask her this. “Will you be my girlfriend, Sol?”
Her gaze narrowed. “You’re messing with me. What are you talking about? I can’t go with you. My life is here.”
I laughed. “Not to be a dick, but what life? You said you have no friends, your family is traveling, and the person you talk to most is your PR agent. You spend your day in your condo posting Instagram shots.” Her face fell as my harsh words hit her. I took her hand. “Follow me on the tour. You can post pictures from all the landmarks. Hell, I’ll even take the damn pictures if you agree to be mine.”
I couldn’t believe I’d had just said that—I was about to become a fucking Instagram boyfriend. I used to mock those men I’d seen taking hundreds of shots of their girlfriends. But now, I understood them—they just wanted to make their women happy.
Like I wanted to make Sol happy.
A big smile graced her gorgeous face. She tackled me on the bed and kissed me. Joy rippled through me, just like how I’d felt the night Beck had called me to say, “Welcome to the squad, asshole.”
“Yes! Oh my gosh, Sawyer, I’d love to.” She kissed me and jumped into my lap. “I have so much to do. I have to get home and pack. And book my flight. Oh, I can do that now.”
She tried to grab her phone, but I pulled her back into my arms. “Babe, you’re flying with me.”
“Fine, but no more tricks. I don’t want to puke again.”
“Deal. Instead, I’ll show you some tricks now. I’m not done with you tonight.”
I cupped her face with my hands and kissed her, my girlfriend, on her lips. The pressure in my balls built up and I was dying to fuck her or at least have her suck my cock. But I remembered how long I’d waited during tryouts for the Angels and reminded myself to be patient. Good things come to those who wait. And I was willing to wait for this beautiful woman to fall in love with me.
Chapter 14
Sol
Sawyer and I spent the night together, but we didn’t have sex. I couldn’t believe he had actually turned me down, especially since I could tell how much he wanted me, not to mention how hard he’d been when I’d practically thrown myself at him. But everything was different now. He had asked me to be his girlfriend. I wanted to scream it from the rooftop.
Or better yet, announce it on Instagram.
But I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to piss him off. I knew how he felt about social media, and I wouldn’t disrespect him.
It was so hard for me to live offline though. If you date someone and don’t post about it on social media, does the relationship really exist? The answer, surprisingly, was yes.
I packed up some clothes and tidied up my condo so I wouldn’t be embarrassed when the house sitter arrived, then I picked up the phone and called Kelli. She answered on the first ring.
“Hey, Sol. What’s up?”
“Hey! I just wanted to give you a heads-up that I’m heading to Seattle for a few days.”
Kelli laughed. “Are you serious? You wouldn’t happen to be going with a handsome, daredevil pilot by any chance, would you?”
Ugh. I did not want to lie to her. But I also didn’t know if I could trust her to keep the details of my love life to herself. She had access to my Instagram account, after all. She could post whatever and whenever she wanted. I didn’t want to do anything to risk my fledgling relationship.
“It’s just a weird coincidence—I have a friend from college who lives up there. I need a change of scenery. I’ll make sure to get some good pictures.”
She paused. “Fine.” The sudden change in her tone confirmed that she hadn’t believed a word I’d just said. “Please email me about which theme you want to use in Seattle. Coffee is always great. Or seafood. I can arrange to get your hotel comped. And I’ll send over a list of restaurants so I can arrange posts. I’ll also contact some touristy places. Feel free to send me any ideas you have on your end. We might have to accept whatever we get because this is so last minute.”
Right. This was my job. I could never have a trip that didn’t involve business. I regretted not just absconding into the night and ghosting her. “Sounds good. I’ll let you know the details. I do want to eat at Etta’s. Not sure about the hotel yet because I may stay with my friend.” Boyfriend, I wanted to say, but the “boy” was silent for now.
“Oh, right. Your friend from college. Okay. I’ll be waiting for your itinerary. Bye, Sol.”
Ugh. She was so on to me. “Bye.”
I stared at my phone’s glowing home screen for a few seconds after the call disconnected. Damn, that was tougher than I’d thought. If I continued dating Sawyer, news of our relationship would get out eventually. But I’d deal with that later.
Sawyer was already on base so he could prepare for the trip to Seattle, so I took an Uber to meet him. He greeted me with a big kiss. I giggled and just stared at him. This was so surreal.
Officer Daly smirked. “Miss Sol. Nice to see you again. You must be some woman to tame Sawyer. You can call me Beck.”
“Hi, Beck. Thanks. I’m excited to go to Seattle. I haven’t been in years.”
“It’s beautiful there. My fiancée will be joining us, so maybe we can all get together for dinner?”
Wow, I was being embraced by Sawyer’s friends already. “Oh, I’d love that. I know this great restaurant in Seattle.” I’d be getting paid to eat there and post about it, but he didn’t need the details.
Beck shook his head. “Oh, let’s skip the restaurant. Paloma’s an amazing cook. I know I probably sound biased since she’s my fiancée, but I think she’s the best. She makes everything from scratch. Since the pilots travel so much during the year, we try to have home-cooked food whenever we can. We’re basically one big family.”
That sounded amazing. I loved how close they all were. No wonder Sawyer didn’t need social media followers—he had real-life friends. What a radical concept.
“I’m so excited. That sounds wonderful. Thank you for welcoming me.”
“Sure thing.” Beck kissed me on the cheek and walked away.
I turned to Sawyer. “Wow, he’s so nice.”
Sawyer laughed. “Who, Beck? Beck is not nice. He’s an excellent pilot, a good man, and a great dad, but he’s definitely not nice. He’s a hardass.”
“Dad? Oh, how old are his kids?”
“His daughter Sky is a year and a half. His wife, Catherine, passed away during childbirth. Paloma was Sky’s nanny, so that’s how they met. She and Beck just got engaged.”
“How heartbreaking. But that’s so wonderful that he found love again. And I can’t wait to meet Paloma.”
“She’s great. She raised her sisters practically all by herself. Beck’s going to adopt them.”
I was blown away. What an amazing story. I was excited to get to know Sawyer’s friends and get a glimpse into the personal lives of these pilots.
Sawyer carried my luggage into the bay of the support plane that would follow us. I pondered riding with my bags for a second—at least I’d be guaranteed no stunts.
I stared at the massive blue jet on the runaway. Just looking at it made me ill.
I punched Sawyer’s arm. “So, do you promise not to do any tricks in the air?”
He smirked and replied, “Yup, I promise. But you still have to wear a flight suit.”
I pursed my lips. “Really? Why?”
He grinned. “Because you look smoking hot in it. The entire time you were flying with me, I was hoping your tits would pop out. Why do you think I did so many flips?”
“Oh my god! Really? I’m so embarrassed. And you’re horrible.”
He squeezed my ass then cupped my face. His lips took mine, and I melted into him. Our chemistry was explosive.
I knew he wouldn’t sleep with me yet, but I couldn’t wait to spend another night with him.
We boarded his plane. And this time, I wasn’t scared.
The entire ride was smooth and calm. Sawyer honored my wishes and didn’t do a single flip. I wanted to post a quick story about my private plane ride but decided against it. Social media detox was a struggle.
A few hours later, we finally touched down in Seattle. Light rain greeted us, but I didn’t mind it. I was enchanted by the drizzle and grey, which was so different from the warm yet foggy weather back home. The chilly temperature built a strong desire in me to cuddle up with Sawyer, preferably by a crackling, roaring wood-burning fire.
Sawyer checked in at the new base while I called my college friend, Raine. She was the coolest girl, a professional ballerina with the Pacific Northwest Ballet. I thought I might get her voicemail, but she picked up right away.
“Sol? Hey, girl. What’s up?”
“Hey, Raine. Totally random, but I just flew into Seattle.”
“Really? That’s awesome. We have to get together. I don’t have a show going on now or anything, but I still have practice every day. Let’s meet up for coffee soon, and you can take one of your pretty Instagram pictures.”
Great. That was what I was known for—taking pretty pictures of coffee. Would that be my legacy? Was it really what I wanted for myself? Raine lived to dance, and Sawyer was so passionate about flying. What would make me truly happy?
“That sounds great. I’ll have free time on most days. Text me the time and place, and I’ll be there.” I paused and then decided to tease her. “I have a secret to tell you, but only in person.” I was dying to tell someone about Sawyer.
“Oh, I love secrets. Okay, I will text you for sure. See you soon. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Sawyer was still meeting with the crew, so I had some time on my hands. I perused some Seattle hashtags and began plotting my trip. I needed to email Kelli soon.
Normally, pictures of the local delicacies and sights filled me with excitement. I didn’t know if I was feeling overwhelmed by my weekend with Sawyer, but for some reason, I didn’t have an
y desire to work on this trip.
An hour later, Sawyer finally walked out of the administration office with keys in his hand. “We have the night off, and I have a rental car. Where would you like to go? I’ve been researching the best places for you to take pictures. We could head to Pike’s Place Market or maybe the Space Needle?”
God, he was so wonderful! He was already thinking about what I wanted to do while I was here.
But he was dead wrong. I’d seen the most well-known sights of Seattle before. Spending time with Sawyer was the only thing on my mind right now.
“Actually, I just want to go back to the hotel room.”
Chapter 15
Sol
Sol was already consuming my every waking thought. My mind battled my cock—I had been so resolute last night about not fucking her, despite her telling me she wanted to. She’d already said that she was ready to lose her virginity to me and there was no fucking way I’d let another man touch her, so why was I the one delaying the inevitable?
We checked into our hotel in downtown Seattle, right on the water. Normally, I’d have already been hitting up every hot spot in town, deciding where to eat and where to party later tonight. But now, I only wanted to spend my time with Sol.
The hotel clerk gave me the key to our suite. “Sir, the bellman will bring up your luggage.”
No time for that. I planned to have Sol naked by then.
“I’ll just grab the bags myself.”
I winked at Sol, and she gave me a nervous smile. She had no idea what was in store for her.
Yesterday, I’d rushed her up to my hotel room, passionately kissing her in the elevator, desperate to fuck her.
But tonight, it was different.
I still wanted to fuck her, but that wasn’t in the cards for us, just yet. Instead, I wanted to worship her, explore her, taste her. And realistically, I knew that the first time we had sex would probably be painful for her. Until that moment came, I wanted her to only experience pleasure with me. I’d never slept with a virgin before, so I planned to do everything in my power to make sex live up to her romantic expectations. If she wanted candles, flowers, and chocolate-covered strawberries, I’d hook her up.