Pioneer Bliss: The O’Rourke Family Montana Saga, Book Five

by Flightner, Ramona

  Declan paused, taking a deep breath, as he thought through her answer. Finally he smiled and nodded.

  Lorena frowned, uncertain what he was waiting for. Finally she blurted out, “Will you marry me?”

  A huge smile burst forth, and he chuckled. “I thought you’d never ask. Of course I’ll marry you, Lo.” He swooped forward, kissing her softly, before deepening the kiss. He hauled her close, holding her pressed against his chest, as his fingers dug into her hair and back. “We’ll be happy. I promise.”

  She gripped his arms, careful not to hurt his healing wound, and pressed her face against his chest. “Yes,” she whispered, praying their vow would make it true.

  Chapter 10

  Two weeks later, Declan sat in the room he shared with Eamon, listening to the excited chatter of his younger brothers in their nearby bedroom and the gentle hum of his sisters’ voices downstairs. He strained for any sign of Lorena, but he knew she was at Phoebe’s, preparing for their wedding. He glanced out the window, relieved to see the beauty of another Montana summer day.

  “Are you about done preenin’ at yourself in the mirror?” Ardan asked, as he stepped inside. He wore his best suit, and he’d tied back his shoulder-length hair. Although he teased his younger brother, he was unable to hide a hint of concern in his gaze.

  Declan glared at him and then smiled. “I’m not preenin’.” He laughed. “I wish I’d been here to tease you when you wed your Deirdre.”

  “Well, ’tis what brothers do.” He looked long and hard at Declan. “You’re sure?” When Declan stared at him with a mixture of hope and trepidation, he closed his eyes. “’Twill all work out, Dec. She’s a good woman. Nothin’ like her youngest sister.”

  “Aye,” he whispered. “She is not.” After a moment, he took a deep breath. “I won’t abandon her at the altar. I want a wife. And a mother for Gavin.”

  Ardan strode to him, gripping his shoulder, his eyes lit with a fervent intensity. “You deserve someone to love you, Dec, to the depths of your soul.”

  Declan shrugged, as he stared at his eldest brother. “I don’t know if I inspire such sentiment, Ardan.” He let out a deep breath and whispered, “She promised she doesn’t yearn for a living man.”

  “Feck,” Ardan rasped. “Which means she could pine for a ghost.” He met his brother’s gaze, equally haunted with impotent worry. “How do you fight a ghost?”

  Shaking his head, Declan smiled sadly. He slipped on his best suit coat, fingering the red waistcoat and the ring held within the pocket over his heart. “I don’t know. ’Tis disconcerting to realize I’m a Colleen.” He closed his eyes, as he attempted to rid himself of the miserable memories of his childhood, after their mum had been lost to them and their father had married Colleen. A basically good woman, she had always desired what their da couldn’t give her—the depth of love he had only ever felt for Mary.

  “You are so much more than that. You shouldn’t marry her if you have such doubts,” Ardan protested.

  Declan scoffed, running a hand through his trimmed hair and then over his trimmed beard. “Tell me, Ardan, who am I to marry then? Every woman I’ve ever been interested in has chosen another. I know Lorena wants to marry me because she asked me.” He flushed at admitting that fact to his brother.

  Ardan nodded, jerking when he heard Da calling for them. “Be happy, brother. Find joy with her. And be brave enough to demand happiness.”

  Declan took one more deep breath, before following his brother out of the room and to the wedding site in a field away from town.

  * * *

  That evening, Lorena stood by the bed in the hotel room Declan had rented for them. She attempted to ignore shouts from the men in the saloon and the voices of men carousing outside, as they searched out their nightly entertainment. As the door opened to their room, she spun with a gasp, her eyes widening with fear. At the sight of Declan entering, she heaved out a breath and attempted a weak smile.

  “Are you well, love?” he asked, as he closed and latched the door. “I thought you’d want time to freshen up.” He motioned at her and then to the basin of fresh water nearby.

  “Oh,” she whispered in a defeated voice. Fingering the fine embroidery of the moss-green dress she wore, she gazed at him in confusion. “I had thought you’d help me from my dress. It is our wedding night.”

  He flushed and nodded. “Of course.” He took a purposeful step toward her, freezing when he saw her stiffen at his approach. “Lo?”

  “I … I shouldn’t be so skittish,” she whispered. “It’s not as though …” She shook her head and forced a bright smile. “I trust you, Declan.”

  He stared at her for a long moment, before pulling a chair closer to where she stood. He settled in it, giving every appearance of having no care in the world. “Do you?” he murmured. “What have I done to earn it?”

  She sat on the bed, her momentary trepidation disappearing, as they began to converse. “You’ve always treated me with respect. You listen to me and don’t judge me for having opinions that don’t agree with yours.” She smiled as she saw the shared remembrance of their conversations in his gaze. “You ensured I was well, when no one else would have sought me out.”

  “I don’t want you to idolize me for doing what was right, Lo,” he muttered with a shake of his head.

  When she touched his hand, his gaze met hers. “I don’t, but I wish you would allow me to appreciate what you did. Few would have cared,” she whispered. “And none would have sat by my bed and then held me as I mourned, easing my fears.” She smiled at him. “You’re a good man, Declan O’Rourke.” She took a deep breath, her cheeks a rosy pink. “When I saw you waiting for me at the end of the altar, I couldn’t believe such a man wanted to marry me. Would agree to marry me.” Her gaze was filled with wonder.

  He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Why doubt, Lo? You’re remarkable and brave and beautiful. I thought my heart would stop when I saw you in this gorgeous dress that only made your hair even more glorious and your eyes shine brighter. I couldn’t believe you wanted me.”

  She ran one hand through his hair, as the palm of her other hand scraped over his trimmed beard. “Of course I did. Only a fool wouldn’t want you, Declan.” She gasped as he tugged her into his arms, kissing her passionately. She gasped again when he lay her on the bed, coming to lay atop her.

  Arching up into his touch, she chased his fleeting caresses, each stroke of his hand too short to bring any relief to the fire she felt burning through her body. “Declan, please,” she gasped, as she kissed along his jaw. “Please, teach me. I don’t know how to please you, but I want to.”

  He pushed away, his lips moving down her long neck. “Never doubt how much you please me, Lo.” He kissed the underside of her jaw. “Yes, my Lorena, I’ll love you,” he whispered, his words provoking a shiver. “Let me,” he murmured, as he urged her to her side and unbuttoned her dress, kissing his way down her back.

  After helping her up to shuck her dress and undergarments, he stripped off his clothes and joined her under the covers. When she would have restarted their wild, passionate caresses, he urged her to rest against him a moment, accustoming herself to the feel of him. Only when he felt her relax did he begin to caress and kiss her again. “Is this all right?” he whispered, as he kissed her shoulder.

  “Show me,” she gasped, as she ran her hands over his back.

  “Never doubt how much I adore you,” he murmured, before he deepened the kiss, and they were lost to words.

  * * *

  Declan sat in a chair beside his marriage bed, watching his bride sleep. Her red hair spilled over the pillow, and his fingers itched to run through the silky strands. Her milk-white skin with a smattering of freckles shone in the faint lamplight, as though teasing him to lean forward and to kiss his way to her neck. However, he remained seated, lost in thought.

  Finally he was a married man. Finally Gavin would have a woman
who would be his mum. Declan waited for the deep contentment to fill him. For an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. For an unmistakable pride that he had finally matched his brothers.

  Instead a deep ache, akin to sorrow, permeated his soul. Rather than a marriage founded on love, his was founded on deception. On half-truths. And a barely established friendship. For he now knew she didn’t trust him. And he’d had no illusion she had loved him when they married.

  Like a fool, he’d hoped she would come to love him. That she would come to desire him, so his marriage would rival the joyous unions shared by his brothers. Instead she had deceived him. Had called him Josiah, just before she had slipped into sleep.

  With a profound sorrow, as he mourned what could have been, he watched her sleep, knowing their time of reckoning approached.

  * * *

  Lorena woke the following morning with a deep sense of contentment. She rolled over, stilling as she realized she was naked under the sheets. With a gasp, she pulled the sheets to her nose and looked around the room, paling when she saw Declan, fully dressed, sitting in a chair beside the bed, staring at her. “Declan? Why aren’t you in bed with me?”

  “I think better out of bed.”

  “Think?” she asked, scooting up to a sitting position, holding the sheet at her jaw. “Why would you need to think on our wedding night?” She squirmed as he stared at her long and hard, his jaw tightening, as though with anger, while he contemplated her.

  “Are you upset I slept so much?” she asked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep the night before our wedding. I was nervous. And then, … after, I couldn’t help but fall asleep. You should have woken me. I would have …” Her voice trailed away, as he continued to stare at her with unveiled disappointment. “What did I do?” she asked in a low voice, her shoulders hunching up around her to protect herself.

  “It’s what you didn’t do,” Declan said.

  “I told you that I didn’t know how to please a man! I didn’t know what I was doing!” she protested, as tears coursed down her cheeks.

  Declan shook his head. “How can you be upset with me right now? You’re the one who played me false!”

  Lorena gaped at him, her eyes rounded, as she thought through his words. When he nodded, she swallowed. “I wasn’t sure you could tell.” She bit her lip at the inanity of the comment.

  “Tell that I wasn’t your first lover?” he asked. “Or tell that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me before we tumbled into bed?” He paused as she remained quiet, her gaze lowered. “Or the fact you’ve had a child?” He nodded, as her horrified gaze shot up to meet his.

  “How?” she gasped. “How could you possibly know that?”

  “A wild guess. One you’ve only just proven. So where is your child? Should I expect him or her any day now? Add to my family so I have a little menagerie of bastards?” He gasped as her hand connected to his cheek, the slap sounding through the room.

  “Don’t ever speak about Gavin in such a way. Or my baby,” she said, as a keening wail escaped. “Never. They deserve better.”

  Declan rose. “It appears we all deserve better.”

  She watched with horror as he strode from their hotel room, slamming the door behind him.

  * * *

  Declan settled into the Sunrise Saloon, eager for a drink and to be left alone. He hoped none of his brothers would be here, and he suspected most would be at work or with the family. He motioned for the barkeep, Stanley Robinson, to give him a shot of firewater. After slugging it back in one swallow, he hissed for another. After swallowing it down too, he stood, staring into space, as, unbidden, a memory resurfaced.

  The thick scent of her cloying perfume wafted over him, as he watched her stuff dresses, petticoats, and undergarments into a trunk. “What are you doing, Magnolia?” he asked. “Our ship doesn’t leave for a few more weeks.”

  She strolled toward him with a practiced sway to her hips, smiling with satisfaction as she saw him instinctively follow her movement with his gaze. “Your ship, you mean.” She stopped just in front of him, raising a manicured finger to trace over his jaw and then down his chest. “You’re a fool, Declan. But then, what else should I have expected from an Irishman?”

  Her cackle caused the hair on the back of his neck to rise, and he bit back his protest that he wasn’t a fool. Looking at her, seeing her disdain, he felt like one. “So you’re not coming with me.”

  “Ah, the simpleton finally understands!” she said with sarcastic glee. “No, I’m not joining you in that tiny worthless trading town in the middle of nowhere.” She held her hands on her hips, covered in ice-blue satin. “Do you believe one such as I should waste myself in such a place?” She rolled her eyes as she strolled away, her pleasure dimming when she noted that Declan wasn’t as enthralled by her feminine antics as before.

  “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “Who’s to say I’m going anywhere?” she asked.

  He waved at her trunk and waited. “You may call me a fool, but I know a woman desperate to leave.”

  She smiled at him. “You are a fool and gullible and naive.” She approached him again, pressing his hand against her belly. “But I do thank you for giving me what I wanted.” She cackled with glee when he paled. “Enjoy your worthless family. You believe you’ll find a woman to love you, but you’re too much of a dimwit to understand no woman could ever love you. How could she? You’re not nearly as attractive as your brothers, and you’re boring.” She raised a bell, and a large servant appeared, ushering Declan from the room.

  “This isn’t the end, Magnolia!” he cried out, as her door slammed in his face.

  The sound of a glass striking the wooden bar brought him back to the present, and he stared with a lost gaze at the barkeep. He accepted the drink but didn’t raise it to his lips. He shook his head and hated that he had been such a half-wit as to follow Magnolia and to ever believe her lies that the child she carried was his. With a long exhale, he closed his eyes again and swore on all he held holy that he would never regret Gavin. A promise he knew he’d have no trouble keeping.

  “Never thought to find you here today, sonny,” A.J. said, as he sidled up to him.

  “What are you doing here, Captain?” Declan asked. “Isn’t there someone else you can pester?”

  “Hmm, pester. Now that’s what a wife’s good for.” A.J. looked around. “Seems you’ve lost yours already. Damn shame, considerin’ you’ve been married only a day.” A.J. raised his eyebrows up and down, as though to indicate Declan was a dunce to be in a saloon rather than with his wife. “Now what’d that beautiful bride of yours do to turn you so mulish?”

  “I’m not mulish,” Declan growled, before tossing back the next shot. He hissed at the burn down his throat. “I have every right to be bitter.”

  A.J. slapped him on his shoulder and pushed him to a quiet corner. “Too many folks interested in you O’Rourkes. Like you’re celebrities in this town. Now what happened?”

  Declan stared into the older man’s eyes and shook his head. “I’m not discussin’ my weddin’ night with you.” He swore as his words were slightly slurred. “I should know better than to drink that rotgut.”

  “Aye, you should, sonny. Especially considerin’ your father has some of the finest whiskey in the Territory.” A.J. paused a moment. “Did ye realize ye weren’t the first man to discover your wife’s charms?”

  Gaping at the man slightly older than Ardan, Declan stared at him in wonder.

  “I’ve struck the magpie dumb,” A.J. said with pride. “I’ve heard all about you chatterin’ away to your missus. Made me realize I hadn’t been wrong when I thought she was the woman for you. No man talks and talks to a woman he doesn’t want to impress.”

  “You’re wrong, A.J. She played me for a fool. Just like Magnolia did.”

  A.J. huffed out a breath and crossed his arms over his chest. “Never did meet that Magnolia woman but seems like she did a number on you. She must have been a b
eautiful woman, for how attractive your boy is. Now most pretty women find their beauty a curse, not a blessing. For that’s all they’re known for. Not their good nature or ability to help others heal. Not their fine cookin’ or their ability to soothe a man’s soul. Only what they look like.” A.J. scratched his head. “I know I’d sure hate to only be seen as an ornament.”

  Declan stared at him in confusion. “My wife is beautiful, A.J., but she isn’t an ornament.”

  “How long did it take for you to notice her beauty? Five seconds? Ten?” He paused. “How long did it take for you to realize she was brilliant and could match your brains?” He nodded as he saw Declan flush with embarrassment. “A week? Two?” A.J. shrugged. “Most never even notice she’s smart. All they see is a pretty figure and a comely face. You at least saw below the surface.”

  “That doesn’t mean she didn’t play me false,” Declan protested.

  Nodding, A.J. pursed his lips and sighed. “I suppose that means you told her all about this Magnolia woman? And your fears about your son? And your concern about your family?” When Declan stared at him as though he were crazy, A.J. nodded. “Seems you expected trust when you extended her nothing more than a grudging friendship, Declan. Marriage, and harmony in that imperfect union, doesn’t work that way.”

  “Imperfect union?” Declan murmured.

  “Aye, heard someone say that somewhere. Think they were talkin’ about the states and the War that raged between ’em. Somehow it always made me think of marriage. Too often I see young whippersnappers thinkin’ marriage will be easy.” He laughed and shook his head, as though he’d just heard the best joke. “Ha. Marriage is far from easy.”

  Glaring at the man, Declan asked, “Then why’d you encourage me to wed?”

  “Because bein’ alone is worse. As you should know, sonny.” He waited until Declan reluctantly nodded his agreement. “An’, when you find a good woman, you should have the sense to not let her slip away.”