Tracking Game

by Margaret Mizushima

  “Of course.”

  He connected the call with his hands-free system. “Hey, Angel. How are you doing today?”

  “Oh Dad.” Her plaintive voice came through the truck speakers, loud and clear. “Thank goodness I reached you.”

  Cole leaned forward in alarm. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”

  “Mom’s flaking out on us, and Sophie’s so upset she’s crying. We need to come home, Dad.”

  Olivia, his ex-wife, had been suffering with depression for over a year. In recent months she’d been feeling better, and she’d thought she was ready to reconnect with her daughters by having them stay with her, but this didn’t sound good. “What’s going on with your mom?”

  “Hard to say, since she locks herself away in her room most of the day.” Angie sounded stressed. “I can’t handle this, Dad. I don’t know what to tell Sophie, and she’s getting so sad, and … and well, we need to come home.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Mattie’s concern. She loved his kids, too. “Of course you can come home. We just need to figure out how to get you here. Are you safe there at your mom’s house for the time being?”

  “Sure. We’re totally safe, Dad. It’s just … well, when Sophie started to cry, I got upset, too.”

  “I’m glad you called.” He and the kids had been through some dangerous situations this past year, and how to stay safe was the issue they dwelled on almost daily. Olivia might neglect her kids, but he was relieved to know that at least she hadn’t compromised their safety. “I’ve got some things to take care of for the Hartmans, but then I’ll hit the road and come get you.”

  Mattie was frowning now. “Can you drive to Denver tonight without sleep?” she murmured.

  “Dad, I wonder about calling Aunt Jessie. We’re supposed to go stay with her later this week. Maybe she could come get us and let us spend the night with her. What do you think?”

  His sister Jessie was an attorney who lived in Denver. At sixteen, his daughter was getting a level head on her shoulders, and at the moment she seemed better at problem solving than he. “That’s a great idea, Angel. But let me call her, okay? First let me talk to Sophie.”

  “Here she is.”

  A great deal of sniffling preceded Sophie’s small voice. “Dad?”

  Cole’s heart ached for his nine-year-old. She, out of all of them, had the hardest time understanding her mother’s condition. “Hey, Sophie-bug. I hear that Mom might not be feeling well.”

  Sophie’s breath hitched as she struggled to speak through her tears. “She doesn’t want us here, Dad.”

  Movement from Mattie’s side of the truck caught his eye, and a quick glance told him she’d placed her hand on her heart. “Of course she wants you, Sophie. Trust me when I say that. But you know how she struggles with being sad, and something must have set that off. It has nothing to do with you.”

  “But … but Dad … it does. She doesn’t love me anymore. She doesn’t want me here.”

  Cole focused his tired mind on his daughter, reaching out to her over the miles. “Did she tell you that?”

  “Well … no…”

  “Sophie, don’t read more into this than what’s there. Your mom has an illness. She loves you and wanted you to come stay with her, but her illness is getting in the way of doing what she wants. Your mom loves you, Sophie. Don’t forget that.”

  More sniffling before Sophie could manage a squeaky sound of agreement.

  “I’m going to call Aunt Jessie to see if she can come get you, okay? Everything’s going to be all right. You’ll see.”

  “But I don’t want to leave Mom.”

  With a glance, Cole shared his frustration with Mattie, and she gave him a look of encouragement. “I understand that, Sophie. But if staying there makes you sad, I think you should come home, and we’ll work out another visit with your mom later in the summer. I’ll drive you up to Denver over the weekend and we’ll do some daytime visits. Something a little shorter than what we planned for this time. How does that sound?”

  “Okay, I guess.”

  Cole could tell Sophie was trying hard to get herself under control. He wasn’t above dangling a carrot that he thought she couldn’t resist. “Besides, Belle misses you. She’ll probably want to come along with me to Denver so she can ride home with you.”

  Belle was their Bernese mountain dog and the first indoor pet the kids had ever been allowed. Olivia had established a strict no-pets-in-the-house policy, but after she left, Cole had decided that was one of her rules that should be reconsidered. Belle loved all of her new family, but she had a special connection with the youngest member.

  “I miss her, too.”

  Done. He hoped he’d soothed her enough to carry her over until Jessie could arrive. “Are you feeling better now? Can you stop crying and help Angie pack your things?”

  “Okay.” Her voice was shaky, but she sounded like she was beginning to hold it together. “What do we tell Mom?”

  “I’ll talk to Mom. Just tell her you love her and you’ll be back to see her later, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Call me if you want to talk again, Sophie. Will you do that?” He waited for her to agree. “Let me talk to your sister now.”

  A quick check in with Mattie told him she was brushing tears from her eyes, looking out the passenger’s side window and trying to hide it. When Angie came back on the phone, he summed up the plan and told her he would call her back as soon as he talked to her aunt. “Are you okay now, Angie?”

  She released a sigh in an audible huff. “I guess so, Dad. It just makes me mad. Sophie has been looking forward to this for a month!”

  “I know it’s frustrating, and I know your mom has been looking forward to your visit, too. I’ll talk to her. I can’t help but think she’s doing the best she can. Try not to be mad at her, okay?”

  “Her best isn’t good enough.”

  Cole could see the distress on Mattie’s face. She suffered when his kids did—there was no doubt about it. It was one of the things he loved about her. “Take it easy, Angel. Be careful what you say. Remember that you don’t want to say anything hurtful right now in anger. We’ll talk it through when you get home. Better yet, we’ll talk it over this evening. And I’ll call you back after I make plans with Aunt Jessie.”

  They said their goodbyes, and Cole disconnected the call while his eyes connected with Mattie’s. She looked like she’d been through the wringer. His own temper flared. “Damn it. I thought Olivia could handle a visit with her daughters.”

  “From what you’ve said, she thought she could, too.”

  He’d been able to keep his anger under control while talking to the kids, but now he couldn’t help letting it out. “I’m all for the kids having a relationship with their mom, but not if it hurts them. I won’t let that happen again.”

  Mattie nodded as she averted her eyes and looked out the windshield. “I know. I know you can’t let the kids get hurt. But, well …”

  Cole looked at her and could see she was trying to organize her thoughts. It was so easy for her to withdraw from family stress and conflict, and it was important for him to know what she was thinking. “What, Mattie? I want to know what you think. In your line of work, I’m sure you’ve had experience with families that struggle with these kinds of issues.”

  “Not to mention my own family.” Mattie tipped him a sideways glance. “I’ve told you I’ve been getting therapy to work on issues from my childhood. One of the things we talk about is my feelings about being abandoned by my mother. It dredges up all kinds of bad emotions, like feeling unloved or unwanted.”

  “I know that can happen when parents leave their children. I’m doing the best I can to assure the kids that their mother loves them, but Olivia isn’t helping much. She isn’t pulling her weight in that arena.”

  “Yes, it seems that way. But what if she bit off more than she could chew, Cole? I mean … a week with the kids is a big first step. My the
rapist and I talk about taking small steps toward building relationships. I think you’re on the right track when you said you could take the kids up for a short weekend visit or even for only a day at first. Surely Olivia could handle that.”

  Cole reacted to her logic by trying to cool down. He took a breath. “You’re right. When Sophie cries like that, I can’t help but get mad.”

  Mattie’s expression was full of empathy. “I know. Me too.”

  “I’d better call Jessie and see what she’s got planned for the rest of the day.” He gave Mattie a grimace as he told his system to dial his sister. He felt relieved when she answered right away.

  “Hey, Cole. What’s up?”

  After greeting her, he explained the situation. “Is there any way you can go get the kids and let them spend the night with you? I’ll come up this evening to get them or maybe tomorrow morning.”

  “Sure, I could do that. Is Olivia okay with this plan?”

  “It doesn’t matter. As far as I’m concerned, the visit’s over.”

  “I think maybe Olivia should have a say in this, too.”

  His temper prodded, Cole frowned. His sister, the attorney—she loved the role of devil’s advocate. “I’ll call her and let her know what’s going on, but with the kids so upset, I’m not willing for them to stay there any longer than they have to.”

  “All right, Cole. You don’t have to get all bent out of shape. I’ll go get them.”

  Sheesh—finally. “Thanks, Jessie. I owe you one.”

  “I like the sound of that. Hey, I’ve got an even better idea. I’ll take a few days off and bring the kids down myself. Then you’ll owe me big time.”

  Cole felt a weight lift from his shoulders. The thought of planning a trip while helping the Hartmans with their animal care as well as taking care of his own had become overwhelming, especially under the added burden of fatigue. “I will owe you big time. I appreciate it, Jessie.”

  “I’ll pick the girls up and we’ll head down to Timber Creek tonight. Then you can help me deal with the aftermath of their shortened visit.”

  “Sounds great. Send me a text when you leave Denver, and remind the girls that they can call me if they want to talk. And thanks, Jessie.”

  “You can thank me later when I call in that big favor you owe me.”

  They said their goodbyes, and then Cole signed off. When he looked at Mattie, she gave him a soft smile.

  “It’s nice to have a sister to help out when you need her,” she said.

  “Yes, but I hate to think what she’ll be asking me to do for her in the future.” He knew how much family meant to Mattie, and he knew how the losses she’d suffered hurt her. “You’re right. I’m lucky to have Jessie. Okay, now for the hard call. I need to talk to Olivia. I’m going to take it off speaker so I can really focus. Is that okay with you?”

  “Of course it is.” She sent him a teasing smile. “As a cop, I need to tell you that hands-free is safer, but using your phone isn’t illegal, so go for it.”

  He had to admit it would be easier if Mattie couldn’t hear his half of this next conversation, but he didn’t have time to put it off. He turned off the Bluetooth connection and dialed Olivia. When she didn’t answer, he disconnected and redialed.

  She answered on his third try, and she sounded sleepy. “What is it, Cole?”

  Her terse greeting triggered his temper again. He forced himself to give a civil reply. “Thanks for picking up the phone, Liv. Were you asleep?”

  “I was taking a nap. What do you need?”

  Cole drew a breath, fighting to stay in control. How to proceed? Well, he might as well just get down to it. He reminded himself to stay as neutral as possible, something his own family counselor had taught him. “I got a phone call from the kids. They say you’ve been spending a lot of time in your room. They were upset, Liv.”

  “Oh.” It sounded like a guilty-as-charged kind of oh.

  “Sophie was crying and, well … I made the decision to end the visit and bring them home. Jessie will be over soon to get them.”

  Silence.

  “Olivia?”

  “I can’t believe you’d do that without consulting me first, Cole.”

  Believe it, Liv, he wanted to say. “As you know only too well, we sometimes have to do what we think is best without consulting each other. I think this first visit was scheduled for too long, and as far as I can tell, it’s been too much for you. Am I wrong?”

  No reply.

  “Talk to me, Liv. I’m just trying to do what’s right for the kids. Has it been harder on you than you thought it would be?”

  “I guess so.” She sounded wan and listless. “I wanted them here so badly, but I felt myself slipping into old patterns on the second day. I guess I’ve ruined it.”

  “You haven’t ruined it. We’ll set up a shorter visit in a few weeks if you feel up to it.”

  “Angela has become so difficult. I think she hates me. And, well … Sophie can be so demanding.”

  Welcome back to parenting. “First of all, Angie doesn’t hate you. She’s a teenager, Liv. She just acts that way sometimes. And Sophie probably needs reassurance. It’s been a while since she’s seen you. She worries that you don’t love her.”

  Olivia’s breath caught in a sob. “I’ve really messed things up.”

  Cole felt sorry for her, but the kids were his priority. “It’s not forever, Liv. Do you want to see them again in a few weeks, maybe a month?”

  “Yes.” He could tell she was trying to hold back her tears. “Maybe we could try a Saturday.”

  “All right.” He thought he shouldn’t have to tell her what to do, but then again, maybe he did. “Can you talk to the kids and tell them you love them before they go? Reassure them that you want to try again in a few weeks.”

  “Things aren’t that easy, Cole.”

  That had at least roused a bit of energy in her. “I know, Liv. I’m just trying to do right by the kids here.”

  She released an audible breath, but he couldn’t tell if it was in exasperation or determination. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  And with that, she disconnected the call.

  He shot a glance at Mattie, but she was gazing out the passenger’s side window. He thought she might be trying to give him all the privacy she could. He didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t a part of this thing with his family, because someday … well, she might be. “I hope I didn’t screw that up, but it is what it is. I’m afraid we overestimated her ability to take care of the kids for a week.”

  Mattie reached out her hand, and he grasped it. “The kids aren’t in their usual routine either, and that probably makes it even harder.”

  “I should have thought of these things.”

  “You can’t anticipate everything. But now you and Olivia both know. Things will go better next time.”

  He squeezed her hand and sighed. “I need to call Angie back now. According to Olivia, she’s been giving her mom a hard time. I guess I better tell her to take it easy.”

  “You’re a good dad, Cole.”

  “Just doing the best I can.”

  He released her hand so that he could reconnect the Bluetooth for his call to Angie. Mattie had a way of accepting things and making the best of them, and he appreciated that quality in her more than he could say.

  Her previous comment about her childhood nagged at him. Last night, he’d hoped to confess that he knew about the abuse she’d suffered during her childhood and to assure her that it wouldn’t affect their relationship, but right now he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Even though Mattie was opening up to him more than ever before, their bond still felt fragile, and he didn’t want to say anything that might break it.

  His dream of romancing her over the weekend had fallen by the wayside. He wished it could be different, but he’d have to follow her example of accepting things that couldn’t be changed.

  Sometimes life just gets in the way of love.

 
TWELVE

  As Mattie entered her house, she placed her hand on the ache in her stomach that Cole’s goodbye kiss had given her. The way he’d managed to respond to his kids, his sister, and even his ex-wife made her love him even more.

  Robo trotted out of the bedroom, yawning and wagging his tail. It was obvious how he’d spent the afternoon, and she knew he’d be even more energetic than usual once he awakened fully. “Did you have a good sleep? Hmm? Do you need to go outside?”

  She let him into the backyard, going out onto the porch to watch him circle the perimeter as he sniffed along the fence line below the seven-foot-tall chain-link fence topped with barbed wire. Despite the county’s precautions, two different individuals had tried to take Robo’s life in her very own yard, and she felt like she could never let down her guard. She rounded the corner of her house to make sure the lock on the gate was secure.

  After throwing the ball for Robo to retrieve for about fifteen minutes, she loaded him into the Explorer and headed for the station. Sam Corns was on dispatch duty, and she waved at him as she made her way through the lobby toward Brody’s office. She tapped on the door, resulting in Brody’s gruff invitation to come in.

  “I’m back from Willow Springs,” she told him as she settled into one of the cheap plastic chairs in front of his desk. Robo sat on the floor beside her. “We found a fuel container and a box of jars that need to be sent to the lab for processing. Stella has them in her car.”

  Brody had been working on his computer, and he turned away from the screen to look at her. “LoSasso called and briefed me. I’ve got a courier ready to take them as soon as she gets back.”

  “She thinks it’ll be another hour or so.”

  “She’ll call me when she knows her ETA.” Brody leaned forward, placing his elbows on his desk. “I also tracked the previous owners of Nate’s van, Leonard and Dixie Easley. They ran a flower store in Denver, owned the van for years and used it for deliveries. They both turned seventy last year and decided to retire, so they traded in the van at the dealership.” Brody looked skeptical. “Call me crazy, but I have trouble believing that Grandpa and Grandma were using that van for drug running.”