It's Not Your Money

by Tosha Silver

  As you know by now, it’s God’s moolah, so there’s no gain or loss as long as you offer and don’t stay stuck. I dropped the whole matter. The next week, a check arrived for books I’d sold two years earlier—for $60.

  NO MORE THAN CAN BE HANDLED

  Sometimes what lies ahead is so daunting, the mind can neither prepare for nor comprehend it. But often the mind is the confuser, and not the best guide.

  Instead, as you offer, breath by breath and moment by moment, the body itself shows the next right action. The inner tug, or spanda, is always there, prompted by the instincts; you feel pulled to start or stop, go here or there. But to follow it, you must stay in the present and not get too far ahead of the Flow. If you don’t race ahead, you start to trust that nothing more will come than can be handled in each moment.

  And if needed, Grace will do the rest in a secret and miraculous way.

  WATCH FOR SIGNS

  Part of the playful way the Divine interacts with us is through signs and omens. It can be a lot of fun to begin to start paying attention. Keep your eye out for clues that you’re on the right path. If you’ve wandered off course, you’ll often get shown how to find your way back.

  LANDBIRDS AND TWIGS

  In The Game of Life and How to Play It, Florence Scovel Shinn writes about how before Columbus reached America, he saw landbirds and twigs, indicating that turf was near. She remarks that it’s the same when a problem is cast to the Divine. An initial sign comes to make clear that your prayer has been heard, but it’s easy to mistake that for its fulfillment.

  Florence uses the example of a woman who needed a set of dishes and offered over the longing. Soon after, a friend gave her an old, cracked plate. The woman complained that this was hardly what she’d requested.

  But to Florence, this was all perfect. The broken dish was a portent of this woman’s coming good.

  THE BREAD CRUMB TRAIL

  Yasmeena worked in the design department of a corporation, but dreamt every day of returning to her roots as an artist. Since she had minimal savings, she didn’t want to impulsively quit, only to regret the decision later. She offered it all and prayed for a sign.

  She was at the farmers market one day when someone said, “I heard you paint portraits. Do you have any time?” Because only a few friends knew about her talent, Yasmeena was floored. This was her nudge: “Let your painting business unfold.”

  From only that one inquiry, Yasmeena felt prompted to make a website and post her work on Instagram. The woman from the market eventually became her de facto fairy godmother and referred many others. Eventually, Yasmeena was able to cut her corporate job to part-time. She felt as if the Divine was saying, “Just relax and be where you are for now, and once you build up more of your own work, you’ll sense when to fully leave.” A year later, she did.

  The Divine will show the specifics, but only when you stop grasping onto your current job as your Source.

  This is now Yours. Make it clear. If I’m meant to go, give me the courage and show me the way.

  SECRET WEAPON

  Yushiko was a crackerjack trial attorney renowned for being able to win even the toughest cases. But one had dragged on forever, and no matter what she did, she had no luck.

  Yushiko felt utterly defeated.

  One night, at the end of her rope, she began to pray her buns off. And let me tell you, this was not a prayin’ kind of gal—more like a self-made Wonder Woman. But she had two days until her next court date, so nothing to lose.

  Suddenly, for no immediately obvious reason, Yushiko felt drawn to yank one of many huge law tomes off her shelf. Then she closed her eyes, opened the book, and let her finger land.

  When she looked at where she pointed, she started crying. She’d gone straight to the one argument that had eluded her for four years.

  And yes, Yushiko won the case. Big-time.

  Praying, casting the burden, and offering are like having access to true superpowers. Why on earth wouldn’t you use them?

  INVITE HELP

  Sometimes you may need to pray for help, though it can be easy to forget.

  One day, I was on I-880 heading past Oakland when I ended up behind a stalled car. Even with my arm out, no one would let me change lanes. I tried not to panic as the roar of traffic whizzed by.

  Eventually, I remembered to ask, “Please, please, send the one who will free me.”

  A moment later, a trucker slowed down, flashed his lights, and beckoned.

  I only had to ask! But don’t feel bad if you forget. It took me a whole 10 minutes to remember.

  Allow me, Divine, to always accept the right assistance. I welcome Your help in every way and delight in receiving it.

  HONOR THE COSMIC CLOCK

  People often feel tested when they’re not getting the timing the ego wants.

  For 30 years, I did counseling sessions with callers from all over the world. Eventually, I began to feel quite confined and yearned to write and teach as I do now. However, here’s the funny thing: the Universe didn’t seem to care my small self was bristling for a change. No matter what I tried, I was stuck like glue for five more years in that occupation. I announced classes that never filled and programs that were uniformly ignored by my clients. It just wasn’t time yet. Those final years felt like crawling on hot sand while scorpions nibbled my toes.

  When I was ultimately “allowed” to stop, I saw I’d been systematically prepared for a major turning point. But the longing to quit arose years before I was fully ready.

  By the time that agonizing process of surrender was over, my work finally belonged to God. I could live what I taught. I mean, how can you teach letting go when you can’t do it yourself?

  Once it was time, She flung open the gates with abandon. Outrageous Openness started to sell briskly and people began to want the courses they’d blithely dismissed earlier. The light had turned from red to green. It was go time!

  So, say you’re wishing to move from a particular job to your own gig. Offer it to Love: “You know the timing. You know the way.” Now, perhaps the shift will organically come faster than you’d imagined. However, you might be held in check for a while, just as I was. You might be chomping at the bit while invisible yet critical preparation is underway.

  If you only look at timing from an ego-based Law of Attraction mind-set, you might think, I keep visualizing it . . . I keep hammering at the Universe. I keep saying what I want—but the damn doors just won’t open. I must need more coaching.

  But a Divinely-timed spiritual birth is so different. You offer the whole situation: “You know my talents. You know my abilities. I long to be of service. If You want this change to come, please show me the first steps.”

  This isn’t wishful thinking, passivity, or hoping for the best. It’s actually quite concrete. You cast the burden and ask to be shown the way. If no prompts come, either externally or through the inner spanda, then you might be in that Divine holding tank, being prepared. But fear not, when it’s time to act, you will! Sometimes you’re even resting up for the new time, because once it comes, you’ll be going full-out.

  Especially those last couple years of doing sessions, I felt profoundly, utterly, crushingly done—yet the Universe knew to not open the gate. When it was time, the big changes happened almost overnight.

  And even if the shift takes a while, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything wrong.

  Just keep offering.

  COOKING PIE

  In this way of Being, decisions make themselves when the time is right.

  When in doubt, sometimes the best thing you can do is be exactly where you are, even if you’re completely confused.

  Sometimes you’re being protected from what you don’t yet need. The situation is cooking.

  If you’re hitting obstacle after obstacle, simply let it all cook more. What seems like a huge hassle now could be easy as pie later . . . and anyway, do you really want to eat some gooey mess?

  Late
r, it will be delicious.

  Because. It. Will. Be. Ready.

  Just like plants in a garden, everyone opens at a different pace. You may notice three or six months from now, Wow! I’m no longer worrying about money every minute. Somehow, I’m trusting that what needs to come will come. I’m not scared to be generous. I’m not harassing myself any longer for prior mistakes.

  As you continue to do the five steps for this final week and then for however long you need—you might continue daily or just resume as prompted—old patterns will continue to melt. It’s like popping ice cubes out of one of those old-fashioned plastic trays. When you first pull the tray from the freezer, you really have to work it, twisting right and left, up and down. You might get one lone cube to pop out, but as you continue to twist and the ice melts slightly, many cubes jump free at once.

  These steps are similar. With time and practice, patterns begin to release more easily. This isn’t because you’re trying harder, but because you’re finally allowing the Divine to take the heck over. It becomes natural to welcome the Flow. You may see finances shift dramatically and opportunities arise from the most surprising places. The road isn’t always direct, smooth, or without obstacles, but the more you offer, the more you stay anchored in Source.

  Offering is truly the foundation. It’s the opposite of everything we’re taught, and it takes practice. And for it to be real, there simply has to be detachment from outcome.

  SO LITTLE TIME, SO MUCH RECEIVING!

  Perhaps for the first time in your life, you may see your finances change dramatically, or you may simply notice that your ability to receive is opening like mad. I love the specificity of this woman’s list because in the Divine’s world, nothing is trivial. Anything can be a harbinger of your unfolding good.

  So many fabulous things have come as a result of offering, hearing the course, and saying the abundance prayer daily. They come so fast and frequently, it’s both joyous and humorous to list them:

  Found $20 in the pocket of an old coat that was begging me to put it on

  Another $20 from someone who claimed they’d accidentally left it out of my Xmas gift

  Pertinent Messages from audiobooks and commercials that arrived the instant I offered

  Snow days precisely when I needed to catch up on work

  Someone with no idea about a certain medical condition I have handed me a book with every needed remedy

  And most amazingly, no more guilt for dropping an array of psychic vampires from my life

  And there are too many more to continue. I’m having a blast offering; I find it better than any entertainment. Answers and solutions pop up constantly, and even no answer feels like one too; it’s just “not yet” or “not needed.” I can barely remember how I used to stumble along in the dark, so confused, yet not including God.

  “MY” BITES THE DUST

  It’s one thing to understand surrender in an intellectual way, like Stage Two of offering during Week Six. Then, it’s just a nice idea. I remember reading countless spiritual books that said you should let go. And I’d think, Really? How?? You can’t fake it. When your ego wants something desperately, how do you do this? One of the most reliable ways is the release of my, which immediately lifts you into Stage Three of offering.

  So many spiritual writings talk about surrender, but until this work I simply didn’t understand how to do it. I just knew that I couldn’t keep making life so hard.

  At 40, I finally found my purpose informing educators about student trauma. However, although I’d been a teacher myself for 14 years, I couldn’t reach decision makers at schools to get booked. You helped me see that “my” workshop actually needed to be the Divine’s.

  So I gave everything back to Her, and said I longed to serve. Soon after, I found the perfect video about the workshop. I shared it on Facebook, and within two hours, a friend I haven’t talked to in 15 years wrote back. She’s a principal who was looking for someone to talk about this very topic. For me, trying to twist arms and cajole people had been torture. This felt so easy and right.

  Some business coaches advise, “You must get out there and sell yourself. Cold-call a hundred people a day. Don’t be lazy!” You hear how you should do this or that, and you think, Can I get back to you on that? Because to be honest, I’d rather jump off a bridge. To many people, this aggressive approach can feel traumatic and futile. It’s just another kind of doership.

  Instead, you offer the project to the Divine. You untangle yourself from “my lofty goals and aspirations.” You decorate yourself with the crown jewels of aparigraha, vairagya, and ishvara pranidhana. You say, “Okay, God, if You want this to happen, then open the way. Let the connections come. Let everyone who needs me find me.” At the right time, the splendid march of synchronicities begins.

  And here’s one of the biggest delights and miracles of this route. When you begin to give on God’s behalf, your own needs get met as well. You serve life, and it serves back. Of course, this doesn’t mean you never have challenges, but rather that you’re provided for in ever more surprising and beneficent ways. You’re on the Divine payroll.

  The concept of “being on God’s payroll” has been more comforting to me than I could have ever imagined. What a welcome paradigm shift. I finally understand that you become the steward of Divine funds. You distribute Its money when you pay bills or give to others. This is fantastic!

  Now, perhaps some of you are thinking, You know, I’m almost through with this book, and to be honest, I still don’t really know if this Divine Source exists. A part of me continues to think this all smacks of wishful thinking and California hocus-pocus. Well, I’m here to say, I understand that! That’s the habitual conditioned part. (And actually, my own East Coast Jewish roots give me a special affection for bemused cynics.) Nonetheless, here’s what I still suggest. As an experiment, go past the place where the mind wants to keep you stuck.

  Go back to offering.

  You have absolutely nothing to lose.

  MOVING WITH THE FLOW

  Part of being on the road of abundance (or, to be even more precise, becoming the road yourself) is observation. Pay attention. Moving with the Flow from one checkpoint to another. As you know, with your invitation, God can use anything or anyone! Sometimes people do things on your behalf without even knowing why.

  Because you have said yes, God takes over.

  I’d needed a new iPhone for ages, but hadn’t gotten around to getting it. Then one morning while waiting for the ferry to San Francisco, my phone fell, and the screen smashed to bits.

  I was mostly relieved I’d finally have to go buy a new one.

  I headed off to AT&T. But when I went to pay, the formerly genial salesman suddenly exploded, “No! I just decided I can’t sell this to you. I can’t explain why, but you must go to Apple. Trust me.” He seemed as befuddled as I was about why he was even saying this.

  Now, logic would have said to be outraged, argue, whatever. But why bother?

  So I went over to Apple, and just as I was about to charge $400, a saleswoman came running. She whispered fervently in my ear, “Girl! I could get fired for this, but do not, I repeat not, buy this phone here! The same one is on sale at Best Buy for a hundred and forty-nine dollars. Girl, you hear me?”

  I hugged her and headed to Best Buy. Brava, Divine Source! You brought me a new phone for $250 less than I’d planned.

  LIGHT LUGGAGE

  This entire journey has been about getting lighter. Lightening the emotional burden you carry from the past. Lightening the clutter from your house. Lightening your private personal collection of resentments and vendettas. In fact, you’re releasing anything that’s blocked the Flow.

  Once I was packing for a trip to Guanajuato and San Miguel de Allende, two of my favorite towns perched in the mountains of Mexico. While I’m not one of those who schleps two hair dryers and six pairs of shoes, I did have a normal-size suitcase with enough clothes for warm days, cold nights, and rain. Oh, and a
few books.

  Well, 10 minutes before my ride, I pulled the zipper to its final close, and the entire thing ripped to shreds. It was done.

  There was an inevitable minute of “Are you freakin’ kidding me? With no time to repack?” But then, because you recalibrate fast the more you offer, little time was wasted resisting. I offered the entire mess to Love. As I took a few deep breaths, a new thought rose over the horizon, Wrong bag! Just take the teensy one.

  So I grabbed my carry-on, though I’d be traveling for two weeks. With no time to ponder, I asked God to take over my body and show what should come. My brain became quiet while my hands combed through stuff and just grabbed. Sweater, bathing suit, yoga stuff—item after item was flung into the bag. No books. Computer back under the bed.

  The second I finished, my phone buzzed. The ride!

  But here’s what’s interesting. First, I flew from San Francisco to L.A. to catch the leg to Mexico. And because there’s an Eternal Divine Dictate that all flights into LAX must circle for at least 20 minutes before landing and then taxi for another 20 while they wonder why the hell there’s no freakin’ gate, we were really late. With only minutes to spare, I ran to the next terminal for Mexico, rolling the carry-on like a happy child. I wondered if people’s checked bags would get there in time.

  They did not.

  Many hours later, I got dropped into the center of bustling Guanajuato, where I hadn’t been in years. I’d planned on staying at a hotel that seemed like an amazing treehouse online. When I asked someone how to find it, she pointed straight up a tumble-down hill of colorful homes and giggled, “¡Cuidate! ¡Trescientos escaleras!”

  Three. Hundred. Steps.

  No problema. With the magic carry-on, this was just a morning workout. But I shuddered to think what would have occurred if I’d lugged the other bag.

  Throughout the trip, I constantly marveled at how the Divine had insisted I not be burdened with heavy baggage. She’d known ahead of time all that was needed, and it was so much less than I’d ever guessed.