Will of a Tiger

by Iris Yang

  He banged the cup onto the saucer. “I could have stayed in America like other rich boys. I could have had expensive clothes, luxurious cars, and a big house.”

  “Yeah, your life would’ve been easy sailing,” echoed Xiao Mei, taking a chair beside him. Her long braids were gone, and a short bob seemed to give her more maturity.

  “I thought that kind of life was selfish. Hollow and purposeless, you know.” Absentmindedly Birch kneaded his right thigh. “But look at the path I chose.”

  Xiao Mei leaned closer and started to massage his leg. “Most people, including me, had no choice but to follow what life offered. With all the options, you picked the most dangerous one. Dad was so anxious every time you took off, especially when you flew over the Hump.”

  “It was awful. Over fifteen hundred airmen died. Those mountains are too high. The weather was almost always bad. We didn’t have reliable charts or radio navigation. On sunny days, we could see reflections of the wreckage. It was hard not to wonder when it would be our turn.”

  “You and your colleagues risked your lives to keep the military supplies coming. Flying the Hump was invaluable.” Her voice was soft, yet carried an undertone of intensity. “Remember how Mother was killed? How Jasmine’s parents died? How my family and the entire village was slaughtered? How Jasmine was raped and tortured? How you had no choice but to…kill Daisy?”

  Birch’s voice stuck in his throat, so he nodded. His hands balled into fists.

  “Without you, Danny, Meng Hu, Du Ting, or Chen Bin, what kind of world would we live in today? A lot more people would’ve been tortured, raped, or killed. You and your friends protected them. You protected me.”

  Xiao Mei caught his fists between her palms. “Because of all of the wounds on your body, I have none. It’s because you lost one leg that I have both of mine. Can’t you see? You endured unbearable pain, so I didn’t suffer. And I’m only one of the thousands of people you saved. Birch, you didn’t endure hell for nothing.” Tears filled her eyes. “You went through hell for me. For us! I’m forever grateful to you.”

  Her strong words gave him the solace he’d craved. They validated his choices and contributions and gave meaning to the life that he questioned. Once again, Xiao Mei had reached out and touched his soul. His chest swelled with warmth.

  “And because of Danny, we’re able to sit here.” Xiao Mei squeezed his large hands. “He wanted you to be happy, my dearest Birch. Think about it this way. You wanted to take his place. If you had done that, would you like him to regret his entire life?”

  Birch shook his head. “But I fought for this country. Eight years. Now I can’t even set foot on the Mainland. I’d be killed if I did. And even here, in Taiwan, the Nationalists put me in jail.” Birch still stung from the injustice of the event and struggled to hold his temper. “Meng Hu is dead. Du Ting is gone. They fought the Japs for years. Now they’re dead in this godawful peaceful time.” Anguish seized his face, and he grimaced. “I don’t even know whether Meng Hu had a boy or a girl. I…I was going to be the godfather.”

  Unable to speak, Xiao Mei kept holding his hand.

  “Danny and Jack will be forgotten on the Mainland. Or worse yet, they’ll be labeled enemies of the country. Enemies! The Communists won’t honor any American as a hero. How unfair! They died for China.” Birch crumpled, as if the weight of the world was upon him.

  The United States had sided with the Nationalists during the Civil War. So by default, they were enemies of the Communists. They were double enemies because they supported South Korea in the recent Korean War. Mainland China backed the North Korean Communist.

  “I understand your frustration,” said Xiao Mei, staring hard at him. She pulled his fists apart and laced her fingers within his. “Let me ask you this, Birch: What would you do if you could turn back time, now that you know the outcome?”

  Birch lifted his head and probed the depth of her eyes, blinking at her words.

  “I bet you’d still choose to be a fighter pilot. You’d trade anything in the world to be Danny’s brother and Meng Hu’s friend. Even if you knew your friendship would end too soon. Even if you knew you’d be heartbroken in the end. Am I right?”

  His eyes moistened.

  “You must accept the past, good or bad.” She ran her thumb over the ridges of his knuckles, making slight circles. “This is far from a perfect world. Even a Tiger has limited influence.”

  “So, we’re helpless,” he groaned, resentment stiff in his voice.

  “Not true. We can’t change the world, but we can change the world around us. That’s what you told us. You’re doing it now. Why can’t you see it?” Xiao Mei scooted forward. “I know why you started the flying club. It’s more than teaching kids about planes. You set it up to honor Danny. I heard your conversation. He said in his old age he wanted to start a flying club.”

  Birch nodded, and then he blurted out, “That’s it!”

  “What?”

  “Forget-You-Not! That’s the name—”

  “That’s a perfect name for the club.”

  This name delighted Birch. Then and there he vowed to tell the children all the heroic stories that he’d tried to bury in his memory. No matter how hard it is, I have to do it so that the younger generation will know the truth.

  He decided to invite his former colleagues to join him. It would give his friends a purpose and renew their camaraderie. We have to help each other. No more meaningless death.

  “See, you’re doing a great thing. Don’t beat yourself up.”

  “How come I didn’t see it clearly?”

  “‘The onlooker sees most of the game,’” Xiao Mei cited a proverb. Lifting his hand, she kissed his palm. “You’re too emotionally involved.”

  “You’re not an onlooker. For God’s sake, you lost your entire family.”

  “But I didn’t fight the Japs face to face, or fly those death-defying missions. I never watched fellow soldiers die in front of me. I wasn’t shot at. I don’t have scars all over my body, and I didn’t lose a leg. I wasn’t tortured or left to die in a mass grave. I didn’t have to kill my loved one in order to save her from humiliation and shame.”

  She stood up. Her small hands clasped his well-built shoulders. “Birch, you’ve experienced horrific things. It’s understandable that you can’t always think rationally.”

  Birch stared at the petite woman before him. Xiao Mei was slim and barely four feet, ten inches tall. Her body was encased in a lilac cheongsam with a side slit to show off one slender leg. He parted his knees, pulling her onto his lap. His arms looped around her waist. “How on earth did you get to be so wise?” Amusement flicked in his eyes.

  “Jasmine’s mother taught me how to read and write. Don’t forget, I’ve lived a long time in two intelligent households. I listened. I paid attention and learned.”

  “You have an incredible memory. I know that.”

  Xiao Mei nodded. “Actually,” she said, her lips curved upward, “I have to thank you.”

  “Me? What did I do?”

  “You told us—the villagers and me—so many stories. Remember? Those were informative and educational.”

  He smiled.

  “Also, after I read to you for months—”

  “Oh, I heard you,” exclaimed Birch.

  “Really?”

  “I didn’t know until I was in jail.” He stroked her hair, his eyes soft. “Your words saved me again, Xiao Mei.”

  She looked satisfied. “I benefited from it, too. I started reading regularly. Not many days went by that I didn’t read. There were plenty of books in the house.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “I had no idea that you are so well-read.” He skimmed a knuckle down her jaw. “You were only fourteen when I first met you.”

  “To me, you were a Tiger, and will always be a Tiger.”

  “You know, Danny said I should marry you.”

  “He did?”

  “At first he joked about it. He said we’d have delic
ious food for the rest of our lives. Then he stopped teasing and told me that you were real and solid.”

  Xiao Mei bit her lip, flattered by the Flying Tiger’s remark.

  “But he wouldn’t guess this. You bailed me out more than once. God, you…you’re unbelievable.” He leaned over, giving her a peck on the cheek. “Why didn’t you talk to me like this before?”

  “My silly Shao Ye.” Her dancing eyes gleamed with wicked wit. “How could I? We stood on different grounds. You were my Young Master and a larger-than-life hero. I was a petty Ya Tou. My job was to serve you. I tried so hard to be a perfect servant so that I could stay in this household. Oh, Birch, you can’t imagine how much I wished I could talk to you like this.”

  She drew a shaky breath. “I wanted to hold you when you screamed.” She wrapped her right arm around his neck, lifted her left hand, and touched his face. “Remember the time I went into your room? I almost got myself fired.” She chuckled and ran a finger along his cheek. “Oh, as God is my witness, all I wanted was to touch you like this so that I could ease your pain.”

  Birch grabbed her hand, but Xiao Mei didn’t allow him to stop her. She unfastened the top three buttons of his shirt and slid her hand under his clothes. Her smooth palm caressed his bare chest in a slow circular motion. She watched him close his eyes, drowning in her soft touch. Her heart reached out to him and then sang a sweet song. For many years Xiao Mei had wished and prayed that her young master would live a better life. She was happy that she was able to help him begin the healing process.

  Her hand glided over the scar below his right collarbone. She heard him suck in a quick breath. This particular injury had become his soft spot ever since the first night they were together. She dropped to her knees in between his legs. Undoing the rest of his shirt, she buried her face in his broad chest. Her arms curled around his waist, pulling him closer to her. She nuzzled his bare skin, inhaling deeply, savoring his masculine scent.

  Xiao Mei kissed the scar and felt his flesh tense. She heard his muffled moan and knew it wasn’t due to embarrassment anymore. She kept on kissing him all over his body, reveling in this strong man’s bliss.

  Her sweet seduction was intoxicating. Every touch and kiss from her seared into his soul. Before long, Birch peeled her away and scooped her into his arms like a giant lifting a rag doll. He looked down, bathed in the glow of her eyes and the flush on her cheeks. Their gazes locked. He felt warmth in the pit of his stomach. “Those goddamned doctors,” he cursed under his breath. “If I knew—”

  Xiao Mei didn’t allow him to finish. She pressed her lips to his. Holding her tightly, his mouth fused to hers, Birch rushed to the bedroom.

  And there, the imperfect couple made perfect love again.

  Part Three

  From the Ashes

  Chapter 54

  The next three years were quiet and peaceful. Birch still missed his loved ones very much, especially when he was happy. He wished his younger brothers and sisters could experience a joyous life. He still suffered nightmares from time to time. The pain and regret were like beasts lurking in his subconscious, always wanting to break out. But now, someone was there by his side when he woke up screaming from night terrors. Xiao Mei’s soft touch and soothing voice gave him comfort. Her embrace meant the world to him, and with the help of the loving woman, his emotional wounds began to heal.

  The morning of August 13, 1955 started bright and pleasant. It was the day Birch had been looking forward to all year long—his club’s annual event.

  He let loose a whistle when he caught sight of Xiao Mei stepping out of their bedroom. She wore an ivory-colored silk cheongsam, her petite figure wrapped in an exquisite, body-hugging dress.

  “You look beautiful,” he commented.

  “And you, my dear Shao Ye”—Xiao Mei liked to call him Young Master every so often—“you’re the best-looking man in uniform.” Her radiant smile clearly showed a woman in love.

  He kissed her on the cheek. “The guests are coming soon. Otherwise…” He pressed his lips to hers. Even after three years of marriage, Birch couldn’t get enough of his loving wife. He often joked that he was trying to make up for those years they should have had together but were denied.

  Xiao Mei touched his cheek with her palm. “I’ll still be here tonight, my Hungry Tiger.” Her eyes brimmed with delight, but her face was a little pale.

  “I’ve told you the stories before. I’ll tell you again today and in the future.” Birch began his speech with his booming voice. In his early forties, he was composed and handsome. Six medals were pinned to the left side of his chest.

  In his backyard, dozens of children and veterans, including Chen Bin, sat around three long tables covered with white tablecloths. Birch stood at the head of one table. “We shouldn’t forget the people who have sacrificed their lives to protect ours.”

  He pointed to two gentlemen sitting to his right. “First, let me introduce our special guests, Mr. Deng and Mr. Tu. They are reporters from The China Post.” He extended his arm and shook hands with them. “Welcome. Thank you for coming. We hope you’ll enjoy our special event.”

  The newsmen tipped their heads.

  Birch turned to a gangly teenager seated to his left. “Today, Xiao Hu will tell you the stories.” His suntanned face glowed as much as the boy’s. “Let’s give him a big round of applause.”

  Little Tiger stood up with the help of a cane. A pair of toffee-brown slacks covered his artificial leg. At eighteen, he was almost as tall as his instructor. “Thank you, Uncle Birch. This is such an honor. I can’t believe…” He was so thrilled his voice trembled.

  Birch patted the young man on the back.

  Little Tiger nodded with gratitude. Taking a breath, he started the story. He was so proud when he defined the Flying Tigers’ victories. He stopped briefly after he recounted the rescue of Danny Hardy by Jasmine, Daisy, and the villagers. His voice cracked as he described the death of the two girls and the other civilians. His face flushed as he recited Birch’s rescue of the Flying Tiger and how the two men became sworn brothers. He was full of pride when he recounted the airmen’s courageous missions. Tears gleamed in his eyes when he spoke about Danny’s self-sacrifice and Birch’s near death experience.

  The audience shot to its feet and applauded when he was done. Most people had tears on their cheeks or in their eyes.

  Birch stood up and took Little Tiger in his arms. His eyes were moist. This ceremony was always emotional for him. Today, apart from sadness, he was proud. Letting the younger generation know the stories was his goal, and he was successful.

  While still holding the young man on his left arm, Birch turned to the crowd and waved his right hand. The group followed his cue—everyone started to sing. Chen Bin and a few other veterans punched their right fists into the air as they sang.

  Use our flesh and blood

  Lay down our life

  Protect the country from the enemies

  Safeguard the freedom of our people

  We are a team made of iron

  We have brave hearts

  The patriotic wartime song was inspiring. There was an atmosphere of excitement, and the clapping lasted a long time.

  Finally, Xiao Mei announced, “Lunch is ready. I need a few volunteers to bring the dishes out.” Before she walked away with several helpers, she turned to Birch and flashed him an intimate smile. Her eyes glowed, but her face again looked pale.

  Chapter 55

  Birch stood up and raised a glass of rice wine. He waited until everyone had followed his lead and then made a toast. “To Danny, Jack, and all the American airmen! We’ll never forget their bravery. We’ll always appreciate their sacrifices. And to Jasmine, Daisy, and all the villagers who risked their lives to save the Flying Tiger. These heroes and heroines will forever live in our hearts.”

  He clinked the glass with those nearby, and then raised it to the sky. “Happy birthday, brother! I wish…” His voice caught on a lump lodged in
his throat and cracked to the point that he couldn’t finish.

  “We wish that Jasmine, Daisy, and Jack are with you,” Xiao Mei continued toasting for him. “And that you are having a marvelous birthday.”

  Birch gave her a grateful nod.

  “This is such an important event. Eye-opening and touching,” Mr. Deng, one of the reporters, said during lunch. “We heard about your imprisonment. Such a terrible injustice! I’m so sorry. That’s another reason we want to be here—to let the public know the truth.” He shook hands with Birch again. “Thank you for what you’ve done for the country, and for the kids. I’m honored to meet you.”

  Mr. Tu, the other reporter, snapped a few more pictures of the ex-fighter pilot.

  All Birch could do was nod in appreciation.

  “May I ask you something?” Mr. Tu put down his camera. He took a stack of black-and-white photos from his bag and flipped through them. “I collect wartime photographs and try to gather as much information as I can.” The reporter handed one photo to Birch. “Most of them showed Japanese atrocities. But I found this in a trading market. What the man said bothered me. He said, ‘The Japs were helping farmers for a change.’ Now, I’ve never heard stories like this. Wonder if you know anything. Did the Japs help Chinese farmers?”

  Birch studied the yellowed photograph. A group of six Japanese soldiers stood in a rice paddy, all of them bent over at the waist except for one, who stood, shading his eyes. “I’ve never heard anything like this.”

  “Could it be propaganda?” suggested Chen Bin.

  “The Japs tried to convince everyone that they would provide peace and prosperity. Some of the posters looked quite convincing. But this seems to be a snapshot.” Birch turned the photo over. “What does it mean?” he asked. The scribbles in the back were in Japanese.