Left In Good Spirits

by Anne Pleydon

  Kenny says to Laura, “We have to wait for them to do counts.” The psychologist waits patiently for Rodney to finish and then says, “How’s it going? Can we please see Helmcken out here in one of these rooms.”

  Rodney sighs. Kenny then says, “Are you allowed to wear that hat? Because I don’t think you’re allowed to wear that hat.”

  “Are you allowed to wear those rings? That one is huge. Geez. It’s a weapon.”

  “You don’t think I’m going to wait for you to respond to a Code for me. With your response times? You see it’s me and move in slow motion. I need this ring to defend myself. I need a room.”

  Rodney squints at the interview rooms. “They might be booked.”

  Kenny frowns. “By who?”

  “That’s confidential.”

  “Shut up. I need one. They’re reserved for Mental Health. I’m pretty sure we get priority.”

  “No, lawyers get priority.”

  “Don’t make me go into a rage here.”

  The staff laughs. “You can rage all you want. That’s not how people get their way here.”

  “Isn’t it?” She tilts her head and Rodney laughs. He says, “Okay, you can have the bigger one. We want to keep Mental Health happy. Don’t ever say I don’t take care of you.”

  Kenny starts to walk away and then turns. “So, Helmcken?”

  Rodney throws his hand in the air. “Geez, anything else?”

  Kenny joins Laura and they walk over to the interview rooms. Kenny’s hand is on the door and she says, “This should be locked. But everyone forgets. There’s nothing in here anyway.”

  They enter the room with two faux leather chairs, a table, and two plastic chairs. Kenny exclaims, “Oh, except a phone! You can plug them in here for calls to lawyers and stuff. But this shouldn’t be in here.” She unplugs the phone and wraps the cord tightly around it and heads back to School Control. Laura can hear more banter and laughter and then Kenny is back.

  Kenny and Laura sit on the plastic chairs at the table. Laura places her notepad on her lap and grips her pen. Kenny opens Helmcken’s file and says, “Let’s see what’s going on here. Okay. So anyone can make a referral to mental health and anyone can advise that a kid goes on suicide watch. Just tell any staff working here and it’s done. Immediately. Only Mental Health, meaning a psychologist or psychiatrist, can take a youth off of suicide watch. This kid filled in a referral.” Kenny reads a yellow piece of paper and laughs. “But the reasons are usually really vague or really huge, like ‘I wanna talk’ or ‘I need to fix my life.’ So the first meeting is very important. You gotta go over consent and confidentiality and all that shit.”

  Laura cannot help herself and covers her mouth laughing.

  Kenny frowns. “What?”

  Laura says, “I’ve just never met a psychologist like you before.”

  Kenny genuinely looks worried. “I’m sorry. I’m not formal or traditional. I’m … This is why I don’t teach. I can’t tell if I’m being outrageous anymore. I don’t want you to get any bad habits from me.”

  Laura is sober again. “No. I like it. I’m just not used to it.”

  “Okay,” Kenny returns. She continues to look grave. “I have a different style but there is method to the madness. We still have process and ethics and evidenced-based practice to adhere to, okay? So we have to start with consent and confidentiality and then the referral and let them know what we’re all about here. The biggest thing though in first contact sessions is rapport, defining the problem, and assessing motivation. This can take a while but it’s good to lay the ground work right away. Now, again, do as I say, but not as I do. I might speak to these kids in a certain way but that’s because I’ve worked with youth for years, longer than they’ve been alive and have had hundreds of bums sitting in that chair before them.” Kenny makes a gagging sound. “That’s actually gross to think about. I speak in a way that sounds direct, very direct, because that’s my style, but also my experience in terms of how much I think I can push a kid. Do you understand? If you were to go in and speak to a kid the same way I might today, then things would fall apart pretty quickly. See, if I was a better teacher, I would show you a less sensational version of what you should be doing. But I don’t remember how to be a robot psychologist anymore.”

  A slim statured red haired youth is at the door. Laura recognizes him immediately from yesterday’s fight but doesn’t recognize the staff with him at the door. Although Helmcken doesn’t look at her, Laura can feel her heart pound remembering how Helmcken threatened Glover. Kenny nods to the staff who accompanied the youth. She rises to close the door, but looks out on the Rotunda first. “Why did staff walk you? Who’s out there?”

  Helmcken shrugs with a hand laid flat on his chest. Kenny spots Glover coming into the Rotunda and headed toward nursing and she comments, “Oh, yeah.” She closes the door and turns her attention back into the room. She motions for the youth to sit in one of the faux leather chairs. She sits in the other leaving Laura at the table.

  Up close, Laura can see that Helmcken has freckles. His eyes are blue. His institutional clothing is way too big on him.

  Kenny says, gesturing toward Helmcken, “You were punching the wall, eh?” Laura notices the youth has red scabs on his right knuckles. His fingers are also filthy.

  Helmcken smiles. “Nah.”

  Kenny says, “So, William. Is it William or Will or …?”

  “So, what’s this about?” He replies looking toward the tiny window in the interview room door.

  “You called me here, man. You filled out this referral.” Kenny shows him the yellow paper and she has Helmcken’s attention again.

  “Oh yeah,” he says, and leans forward a bit with hands pressed together.

  “So, William? Or…?”

  “Will, but my friends call me something else.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Be Real, Billy Real, or you can call me Wolf.”

  “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. I’ll call you Will.” And there is something in her tone that makes Helmcken smile again.

  He says, “Oh, you don’t play.”

  Kenny smiles now. “No, I don’t play. My name is Dr. Kenny Halpin. You can call me Kenny.”

  “Kenny is a guy’s name.”

  “No shit. I’ve never been told that before.”

  Now, Helmcken laughs and Kenny continues, “I’m a psychologist here at the Merivale. This is Laura Hooper. She is a psychology graduate student. We’re going to be chatting with you today. And if we think that therapy is a good idea for you then she might be the one who sees you, okay? Or we might see you together.”

  “Therapy. What’s that?”

  “Counselling.”

  “Oh, I definitely need counselling.”

  “Okay, well, we’ll figure that out together.” Kenny goes over the concept of consent and the limits of confidentiality and has the youth sign a form indicating he is informed of such and then, “So, why do you did you want to see someone?”

  Helmcken rubs his hands together. “I thought it would be good for me to talk to someone and stuff, you know?”

  “How are you doing after the fight?”

  “What fight?”

  “With Glover.”

  “That wasn’t a fight. That was a bitch move. He’s lucky they moved him.”

  “They moved him?”

  “Didn’t they?”

  “He went to discipline for a couple days. Like anyone does who fights.”

  Helmcken snorts. “Discipline. This place is a joke.”

  “Is it?”

  “It’s like a camp for kids. It’s not a jail.”

  “He’ll probably be back in your unit.”

  “He better not.”

  Laura thinks back to Mr. Baird’s conversation with Cody and Michelin and how Mr. Baird would have likely said, ‘That’s your choice’ in response to Helmcken just now.

  Kenn
y continues, “What kind of stuff do you want to talk about then?”

  “You know. Things that are bothering me. I have a lot on my mind.”

  Kenny picks up the yellow piece of paper. Laura thinks it looks a bit dramatic since it entails only a couple words written out in messy scrawl. Kenny offers, “The referral says you ... want to be a better person.”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s kind of vague.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So you have a court date coming up soon. This sounds like one of those 11th hour referrals?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Requesting therapy at the last minute because you want to look good in court?”

  “Fuck, no.”

  “You know they’ve wanted you in therapy for years. The courts keep asking for it. You’re looking at serious time this time, never mind the time on remand if you go to trial. It’s your business how you plead, but they won’t get you trial time for 6 months.”

  “I don’t care. I’m not guilty.”

  “Right. And that’s your business. But, if found guilty or you plea, it’ll be serious time. So therapy will look really good to the judge when he’s sentencing you.”

  “It’s a she.”

  “Who is it?”

  “Brennan.”

  “Oh, shit. Good luck with that. But she loves kids who’ve gone through therapy.”

  “That’s not it.”

  “I think that’s it.”

  “Well, it’s not up to you to decide what happens.”

  “It kinda is.”

  “Oh man, you’re a real bitch, aren’t you?”

  “Why is that bitchy?”

  “Look, whatever. Fuck.”

  “I don’t care your reason. Just tell me. People do all sorts of things to look good for court. Some kids work their asses off in school and get as many credits as they can. It’s all good in the end, isn’t it? ‘Cause they’re closer to graduating. Who cares about the reason? What? What are you thinking?”

  “You’ve lost me, man.”

  “If you want to be in therapy with me, honesty starts now. I don’t care what your answer is.”

  “Who said I want to be in therapy with you? Look, I don’t care if you believe me or not. You think you can tell I’m lying? You don’t know me. I want to talk to someone.”

  Laura watches the exchange and is aware that her stomach feels tight. She feels a bit anxious remembering how Helmcken laughed and yelled after getting hit with a chair. And now it seemed like Kenny was trying to get him angry on purpose. Laura doesn’t want Helmcken’s eyes to settle on her so she keeps them affixed on Kenny.

  Kenny seems relaxed and looks at the referral paper again. “What about this goal? To become a better person and not feel so anxious all the time.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Anything else?”

  “I’m stressed. I’m anxious all the time. Like I have too many thoughts. I can’t sleep. I tried to see the psychiatrist about it.”

  “We don’t give medication to help kids sleep here.”

  “Serious?”

  “Yep.”

  “That’s some bullshit right there.”

  “I should tell you something about therapy here. We don’t let people sit in therapy week after week because they’re looking for something to do, get out of school, get out of programs. Therapy around something like “not feeling anxious all the time” is a 10 session max gig, okay. I’ll put you on the waitlist if that’s what you’re really looking for and someone will have to pick you up. But I won’t. And I’ll tell you why.”

  Kenny leans forward in her chair. “I don’t know anything about you except I know what you’re here for and I know what kind of people you associate with. I don’t require names and details. Hell no. I don’t want to know that stuff. But this ‘be a better person’ stuff might be alright for some of the young people here, but not you. I couldn’t live with myself. It would be a serious waste of time and energy to sit here and ignore the fact that you’re a criminal. I assume two things of my clients. One, that being here is a problem for you. And two, you desire to live a crime free lifestyle. ‘Cause dude, I can’t help you became a more well adjusted, less anxious criminal. I can’t help you become a better gangster. I have nothing to offer you. Continuing on with being in a gang is your business. I don’t care what you do. It’s none of my business. You are a human. You have rights. You have the right to have whatever life you want to have. If you want to continue doing what you’re doing, that’s cool. I wish you well.”

  “There’s no such thing as gangs.”

  “Oh, right.”

  “But I do have anxiety.”

  “Dude, you live a dangerous life. Of course, you’re anxious! It’s stressful. Your enemies are after you and the cops are after you and you’re sitting in a cage right now and probably gonna wait for over a year to find out how many more years you have to sit in this cage. And didn’t someone just smash a chair over your fuckin’ head yesterday? You don’t have a mental illness. You should be anxious. It’s your body and mind telling you you’re not safe. Hello! Don’t shut off that part of yourself. You need it to keep you safe in here and on the streets. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t anxious.”

  Helmcken cocks his head and studies Kenny’s face. “Yeah, that makes sense,” he replies as he sits back into the chair.

  Laura sees Helmcken relax his shoulders. His eyes are stuck on Kenny. He appears momentarily mesmerized by her.

  “If you’re serious about working on living crime free or at least serious about talking about thinking about living crime free, then we could work together. But I warn you, I will challenge you. Therapy is not about rainbows and unicorns. It’s not about making you feel good. Change happens when you feel a bit uncomfortable.”

  “Yeah, man, but it’s not that easy to change. You can’t expect someone to change just like that.”

  “I will never ask you to change your behaviour. But I will insist you think about it.”

  “Alright.”

  “Alright, so what do you want to do here? Do you want to see someone to start speaking about what’s going on with you and whether you want to work on not coming in here anymore?”

  Helmcken nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

  “Okay, good times. We can’t talk about your latest charge though, okay? But we’ll make sure to go over that next time. Well, you know that, right? You know not to talk to anyone about your charge. Anyone can be called as a witness.”

  “Right.”

  “So, we’ll start next week. Let me walk you to School Control and staff can get you back to unit.”

  Helmcken stands up and reaches out his hand to Kenny. She responds, “I don’t touch kids.”

  “Holy fuck,” he says, but seems more amused than angry. In a few steps, he is out of the interview room with Kenny following close behind.

  Kenny walks back into the interview room tucking her shirt into her dress pants. She keeps the door open and appears interested in checking to see which staff are walking by.

  “So, what did you think?” she asks Laura.

  Laura straightens up in her chair and realizes that once again she has nothing written on her notepad. “I think it’s good he wants to talk about things. I thought he was getting pissed off there for a moment.”

  “Yeah, he was, but he just wanted to see if he could play us and was pissed that he couldn’t. He’s full of shit though. Did you see how charming and accommodating he was at the end? That was because I was interesting to him. He gets bored easily. He thinks this will be entertaining for him. You wanna see a kid play? Shit, I wish I was interviewing Burrard. That kid’s a total psychopath.”

  “Oh.”

  Kenny sits down across from the table. “So, a bit of feedback for you.”

  Laura is taken aback as she did not realize her supervisor had been watching her. Kenny says, with a low voice, “You st
ared at me a lot. And I can’t have you doing that.”

  Laura flushes as Kenny continues, “I get it. It’s hard in the beginning as a student to know where to look. But look at the client or your notepad but mostly at the client, but don’t stare. Listen. Actively listen. It looks different. And feels different to the kid. Watch me. I’m going to stare at you and then I’m going to listen at you.”

  Kenny demonstrates the difference and Laura simultaneously feels impressed and reprimanded by her supervisor. Kenny says, “And don’t stare at me. It’s not bad what you did. But it throws me off. When another clinician looks at you in an assessment or therapy, it means they want to jump in or give a silent message to you or something. So, I kept seeing your face looking at me out of the corner of my eye and I know you don’t want to say anything, but it throws me off. It’s okay. But you know what I mean? It’ll come in time. But that’s something for next time.”

  Laura nods. “Okay, thank you. I think I do that a lot, but no one’s ever told me.”

  “No worries. You don’t know where to look. To look directly at the interviewer is a security blanket thing. But I’m not the client, so you don’t need to observe me. Anyway, did you see the consent piece and starting to go into the motivational interviewing piece? You don’t need to be so aggressive with community mental health or private practice clients, obviously. But these kids are mandated here and everyone in the world wants them to talk about their problems. They’ve heard it all before. So, it doesn’t hurt to be a bit novel. They also want to know if they can just bullshit through therapy. That is their number one preference.”

  Kenny continues, “So, you notice how there was no self-disclosure? I didn’t tell that kid anything about myself. I’m not big on it. I want you to avoid it completely while you’re here. The only self-disclosure that I want you working on is how to share with a client how you’re experiencing them in the moment or what you’re wondering about as it pertains to them. You know? Like, ‘I’m finding it hard to talk to you. As though you think everyone is out to get you. Has anyone ever told you that before?’ See what I did there?”