Goddess of Pain

by Katie May

  “And then?” I see the question in Helio’s gaze. It’s the same one that’s rattling around in my head, demanding attention.

  Do I return to the Realm of the Gods? Do I return to my kingdom?

  Or do I remain on Earth with my…with my family—a family that’s not biologically my own?

  “We’ll figure that out when it’s time,” I whisper. When I left my kingdom—a home to thousands and thousands of lesser gods and goddess—it had been relatively safe and prosperous. What happened when I was away?

  And would I even want to go back?

  CHAPTER 11

  “Avery Living, get your ass out here!” I bellow as soon as I enter our shared apartment. Oh, the irony of his last name.

  Sin immediately wanders into the kitchen, where he begins opening cupboards at random and grabbing plates, cups, and bowls. Helio takes up sentry in front of the door, protecting us from anyone who might dare attempt an attack.

  Say, my other two mates?

  I’m not an idiot. It’s too much of a coincidence that I was attacked by three different people—four, if you count Helio, my silent stalker—and then I regained my memories. Desmond and Tate are here, of that I have no doubt.

  And they’re trying to kill me.

  “Avery!”

  The door to his bedroom is wrenched open, and Avery appears a moment later, eyes drowsy from sleep. His golden blond hair sticks out in all directions, and he’s currently shirtless, the tan planes of his chest on display.

  “What’s going on?” he demands, voice still heavy with sleep. But that drowsiness dissipates when he catches sight of first me, then Helio and Arsin. With an almost blistering speed, Avery grabs my arm and yanks me behind him. “Who the fuck are these people?”

  I exchange a wary glance with Helio. It’s apparent that Avery Living is still not aware of his true identity.

  Fuck, we’ve been best friends for years. I know everything there is to know about him. I even watched him fucking date.

  And all this time, he’s been mine.

  “Aves,” I say, tugging on his arm. His body stiffens, but he doesn’t turn from where he’s facing off with Helio and Sin. “Avery.”

  “Did they hurt you?” he demands, and Sin throws his arms up into the air with a disgruntled scoff.

  “Why does everyone think I’ll hurt her?” he asks, a manic glint in his steely eyes. “You blow up her car once, and that’s suddenly all people can focus on.”

  “You…” I’m worried Avery’s brain is short-circuiting. “You’re the one who blew up her car?”

  “Yes, we’ve been over this already.” Sin waves a hand in the air as if he’s attempting to shoo away a pesky fly. “Let bygones be bygones.” Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial murmur, he adds, “I rubbed one out in front of her, so I think we’re good now.”

  Sometimes, I want to kiss Sin senseless—kiss him until he’s nothing but a writhing mess, demanding more. Other times, like today, I want to beat him with a rubber duck.

  Avery’s spine straightens, the bare muscles on his back bunching, as he stares at me over his shoulder, expression unreadable.

  “Avery, I need you to listen to me,” I whisper, staring at the man who has been my best friend for years. And my lover for centuries. I just need to reach the piece inside of him that is currently staring at me as if he’s never seen me before. I need him to listen and understand. “Aves.”

  The growl that leaves his throat is low and predatory, decidedly not human.

  “I recently discovered something that I need to talk to you about,” I press, continuously tugging at his arm. Sooner or later, he’ll have to follow me. I’m nothing if not persistent.

  Sin saunters forward, one hand in the waistband of his pants—yes, I forced him to get dressed before we came over; the last thing we need is to get arrested for public indecency—and in his other hand is a silver spoon.

  Eyes glinting wickedly, he begins to wave the spoon in front of Avery’s shocked face. “Rememberrrrrr,” he whispers, drawing out the final R.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Sin?” I just barely resist the urge to facepalm myself.

  “Hypnotism,” he deadpans. “Now, shush. The magician is working.”

  Avery grabs the spoon out of Sin’s hand and tosses it against the far wall. Before I can even catch my breath, Avery wraps his hand around Sin’s throat and pins him to the wall.

  “Avery!” I scream, terror flooding through me. “Stop it!”

  “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he seethes. Power begins to leak from his body—wispy tendrils of pitch-black smoke. It slithers across the floor like a live snake, circling Sin but never touching. Sin, for his part, just throws his head back in laughter.

  “I’m the God of Flames!” he screams.

  “Avery!” I lunge forward and grab his shoulder, and immediately, the dozens of smoky tentacles reach for me. I vaguely hear Helio’s roar as he charges for me, but my vision is entirely consumed by darkness, as if someone had spilled a cauldron of ink. Pain radiates up and down my arms, but it only fuels me. Energizes me. I relish in the licks of pain that steadily begin to consume me as completely as Sin’s fires do.

  “Emily!” Avery’s voice penetrates the darkness. And then, in a hushed murmur, “Goddess?”

  As quickly as it appears, the pain retreats. I collapse onto the ground, panting erratically in tandem to my rapidly beating heart.

  Avery kneels before, face ashen and eyes wide. He stares at me as if I’m a strange and exotic specimen, a zebra in a flock of sheep. He stares at me as if he’s never seen a female before, as if the world ends and begins with me.

  “Do you…” I trail off, coughing into my sleeve. Tears blur my eyes, but I brush them away impatiently. They’re always a side effect of Avery’s death power. “Do you remember?”

  I almost don’t dare to hope. Staring up into his handsome face, a face I loved and trusted for years, memories begin to overlap. I see my lover, but I also see my best friend. Our lives are so irrevocably tangled together that I don’t think we can ever be separated.

  “I remember,” he breathes, his peppermint breath fanning across my lips. “You’re the Goddess of Pain.” He stares at me in stark wonderment. Almost as if he can’t help himself, he lifts his hand to brush a stray curl behind my ear.

  “And you’re my God of Death,” I whisper, cupping his cheeks. His skin is smooth—devoid of any scars, blemishes, or even facial hair. Avery is the epitome of boy-next-door.

  His eyes narrow suddenly, and he lowers his hands to my waist, pulling me forward until I’m straddling him. “You never noticed me before,” he accuses, eyes narrowed. Over his shoulder, I notice Helio physically pulling Sin away to grant us much needed privacy. I’ll have to thank him later, preferably in blowjobs. “I loved you for years, but you never noticed me.”

  “Avery…”

  “I used to try to make you jealous,” he continues, lips twisting downwards. “I would go on dates with other girls in order to get you to see me. But you never did, did you? Not until now.”

  “I…”

  I can see a wall erecting itself around his heart. A self-defense mechanism.

  Because every word he said is true. For years, I saw him only as my best friend, the one person I could lean on implicitly. I never considered our relationship romantic, but that was only because I didn’t know it could be anything other than platonic. Looking back at my younger self, I feel like a complete idiot.

  “Come here,” I say abruptly, rising to my feet and extending my hand. Avery eyes it for a moment in silence, eyes rapidly darkening until the pupils swallow the irises completely, before he accepts my proffered limb.

  I lead him to my bedroom and into my closet. Only then do I push away the clothes obscuring my work from view. Newspaper clippings. Articles. Photographs. It’s all there.

  A shrine dedicated to Avery.

  “You did this, didn’t you?” I ask, voice barely audible ove
r the pounding of my heart. He stills next to me, gorgeous face draining of color. “You killed these people for me.”

  “I…” He takes a deep, haunted breath. “I would do anything for you.” Unexpectedly, he wraps an arm around my waist, spinning me to face him. “I would kill for you, Emily.” Those dark, dark eyes of his seem to swirl, as if I’m staring into the unknown of the universe. This man, he’s pure power. With one snap of his fingers, he could drop you dead.

  Even before he knew the truth of his heritage, he still played God. He still killed indiscriminately.

  “You noticed.” His eyes ensnare my own, and I’m helpless to turn away. His entire face fills my vision until he’s all I can see, all I can breathe.

  “I didn’t know it was you,” I admit, raising my hands to run them through his golden blond hair.

  “Those people deserved to die,” he continues. “They hurt you.”

  I thought I’d be furious once I discovered the truth of my serial killer stalker. I thought I would be upset. Instead, I…understand. It’s twisted and fucked up, and I think a part of me is irrevocably broken. But even when we believed we were humans, we didn’t live to human standards. Our morals are skewed, and I can’t fault Avery for being who he was made to be. He’s not just an instrument of death; he is death. He decides who lives and who dies.

  Maybe that makes me callous. I’m sure my reaction would be entirely different if I actually liked any of the people who were killed in my name. Instead, I feel nothing but numbness as I stare at the numerous photographs of Avery’s victims throughout time. The return of my memories destroyed something fundamental inside of me, something that made me human. If I discovered the truth only yesterday, when I retained only my human memories, I would’ve been terrified. At least, I think I would’ve been. I can’t tell you for certain.

  All I know is that a diminutive part of me must have always suspected I was something other. Why else didn’t I contact the cops after my first assassination attempt? Why did I hold these secrets to my chest, obscuring them from the world?

  Because you knew, a tiny voice whispers in my head. Even before you got your memories back.

  “Emily…” He slants his mouth over mine, and I lose myself to his kiss.

  How many times did I imagine kissing Avery Living when I was nothing but a human?

  How many times did I actually kiss Avery when we were living in my palace in the Realm of the Gods?

  This kiss surpasses anything from my past.

  It’s a clashing of lips and teeth and tongues. It’s a meeting of two lost souls who’ve been shoved apart by forces outside of their understanding and control. Avery kisses me like he needs me to breathe, to survive. As if he can’t imagine a world without my lips seared to his.

  Fire races down my spine, and I almost believe Sin has made an impromptu appearance. That wouldn’t surprise me. I once found him lingering in my closet for days in the Realm of the Gods.

  Avery’s hands roam over my body, and I do the same with his. His muscles flex under my exploring hands as I reluctantly pull my lips away from his, desperate to breathe.

  “Fuck, Em,” he pants, kissing down my neck.

  I quickly shove his sleep shorts down until his cock springs free, already hard and dripping with pre-cum. My pelvic muscles clench at the realization that Avery sleeps commando.

  Fuck, I had this magnificent cock mere feet away from me for years, and I never used it? What was human me thinking?

  “I want to…” He lowers his mouth to my breast and captures my nipple through my shirt and bra. I groan at the contact, arching my back so he can take my tit further into his mouth. “I want to take this slow.”

  “Well, I want you to fuck me,” I counter immediately, voice breathless. I take a step away and quickly shed my clothing, reveling in Avery’s heated eyes and low, predatory growl. The beautifulness of his face belies the monster lurking just beneath the surface.

  Kicking off his own shorts, we stand facing each other. My back is flush against the closet wall, but that doesn’t stop Avery from stalking forward looking every inch the dangerous beast I know him to be.

  “Turn around,” he growls, and I comply immediately, pressing my fingertips against the wall. This new position has my breasts dangling forward, and Avery wastes no time kneading them as he stands behind me. “Why is it that I loved you for years when you never noticed me?” he demands into my ear, voice silky and embodying death and darkness. “Why is it that you only love me with your memories intact?”

  He doesn’t wait for me to respond, tugging sharply on my nipples until I gasp out loud.

  “Do you love me, Emily Lopez?” Using one hand, he tangles his fingers in my hair and wrenches my head back. I know his question is a double-edged sword, one I’m seconds from impaling myself on. He wants to know if I still love him, the God of Death. And if I ever loved the cute, boy-next-door, Avery Living.

  “Yes,” I gasp out, the answer coming to me instantly. “I’ve always loved you.”

  And I did. I was just too terrified to act on my desires. For so long, Avery was nothing but an unattainable daydream. He was the cute boy who was best friends with my brothers. Why would he ever be interested in a girl like me? He could date supermodels if he so desired.

  “You’re my best friend,” I continue as his cock brushes my back.

  Avery releases my hair abruptly, and I sag forward. Before I can even catch my breath, his palm catches on my ass cheek. The sting of pain travels straight to my throbbing core, and tears once more blur my vision.

  Whack.

  My body rocks forward with the force of his next hit.

  Whack. Whack. Whack.

  I’m sure my ass is turning red, but that only amplifies my lust and desire. There’s something addictive about pain. Something that crosses into pleasure territory.

  Every spank against my sensitive ass fuels something inside of me, something I can’t put into words.

  “Fuck, Avery!” I moan, my breasts swaying forward. He grips one tightly before swatting it, the hit gentler than the one he did on my ass.

  “We’ve been apart too long, my love,” he purrs, and the next moment, his long cock is sheathed inside of me. I let out a gasp at the sheer rightness of it, the fullness. My pussy clenches around his member like a fucking glove.

  “Yes! Yes! Yes!” I pant as he begins to fuck me relentlessly, harshly. His balls slap against my ass with each forward thrust of his hips.

  He once more tangles his hand in my hair and pulls. Pain radiates down my scalp, but like with the spankings, my arousal only increases.

  “Do you like that, my dirty girl? Do you like being owned by me?”

  “Avery!” I press my palms against the closet wall as he continues his relentless attack on my aching pussy. I’m being destroyed, but in the best damn way possible. “I’m so close!”

  “Come for me,” he demands, and when his hand leaves my breast to pluck at my clit, I careen over the edge so fast and so harshly, I see literal stars. It’s one of those out-of-body experiences where you forget who you are and what your name is. I’m mindless with pleasure.

  Avery continues to pound into me as he chases his own release, my pussy clamping around his cock like an iron vise. He curses, hips losing their momentum, before spilling his seed into my aching cunt.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I breathe incoherently, resting my forehead against the wall. Avery chuckles as he holds me to his sweaty chest, his cock still resting snugly inside of me.

  When I stare at him over my shoulder, my best friend smirks down at me, the darkness having retreated from his eyes. He smiles that familiar, boyish grin that never fails to make me feel lighter. Happier.

  “I love you. You know that right?” he asks, gently pulling his fingers through my hair. “Both as a god and as a human.”

  “I—”

  “You guys should come out now,” Sin says cheerfully from the other side of the door. Avery and I both freeze,
the former reluctantly slipping out of my wet heat. I turn in his embrace until I can rest my arms comfortably on his chest, and his own wrap around my bare waist.

  “We’re having a moment here,” Avery says, but his voice is devoid of the usual ire he has when dealing with Sin. It’s surprisingly tender, reverent almost, as he stares down at me.

  When Sin begins to knock on the closed closet door, I release a heavy sigh and stomp forward, still ass naked.

  “What?” I growl, wrenching it open. Sin is reclined on a folding chair that he must’ve dragged from the kitchen. A tub of popcorn rests on his lap—his very naked lap. As he languidly shoves popcorn into his face, his other hand strokes his cock.

  “Seriously, Sin?” Avery questions from behind me, annoyed.

  “A cop’s here.” Sin shrugs as if it’s not that big of a deal. “Helio’s dealing with him.”

  “Fuck!”

  Grabbing my robe from the hook on the door, I hurry out of my bedroom, Avery hot on my heels and Sin hot on his. Both men are still naked, and I have to wonder what the cop will think. No doubt, he’ll be traumatized for life.

  When I enter the living room, I see Helio with his hand around a familiar man’s throat.

  Officer Blake.

  The douchebag detective who told me about my car.

  As I watch, mesmerized, his features begin to contort. His lips become fuller, and his lashes become longer. His hair turns a shade darker as a five o’clock shadow appears on his jawline. His bone structure remains the same, though, as does his muscular frame. The changes are subtle but profound enough that the man in front of me is different from the one I saw before.

  I’m no longer looking at Officer Blake. Instead, I’m staring into the eyes of Tate.

  Fucking Tate.

  Honestly, why didn’t I figure this out before? He’s the God of Deception, after all. It’s not surprising that he would unintentionally use his powers on Earth.

  “Are you going to release me, you mammoth asshole?” Tate snipes, and Helio reluctantly removes his hand from the other man’s throat.